How Painful is Care Chapter 32: I'll Cover You, a csi fanfic

A/N: Ah, more fluffiness! Actually, this chapter is full of wonderful bittersweet, angsty fluff (if there is such a thing). Usual disclaimer. Song is Time After Time by so many different artists that I can't even figure out who originally sang it. Oh, small thing to point out that I Never Promised brought up in a review. According to la doctura de mi famillia, today, condoms will prevent the spread of HIV, and there are also drugs that one can take to help prevent it spreading. Anyways...Enjoy!

Chapter 32- I'll Cover You

"Live in my house, I'll be your shelter
Just pay me back with one thousand kisses
Be my lover and I'll cover you
Open your door, I'll be your tenant
Don't have much baggage to lay at your feet
But sweet kisses I've got to spare
I'll be there and I'll cover you

I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
And least you are my love

All my life, oh my life
I've longed to discover
Something as true as this is

So with a thousand sweet kisses
(Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes)
If you're cold and you're lonely
With a thousand sweet kisses
(Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear)
If you've got one nickel only
With a thousand sweet kisses
(Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes)
When you're worn out and tired
With a thousand sweet kisses
Oh, when your heart has expired

Oh, lover, I'll cover you
Oh, lover, I'll cover you
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand seasons of Love
I'll cover you"

I'll Cover You(Reprise) from Rent

Greg stretched lethargically and arched his back in a cat-like manner before sitting up. Sara still lay next to him, a bit of hair fluttering in and out of her mouth as she snored. He leaned over and carefully brushed it away before placing a light kiss on her temple. This wasn't enough to rouse her from her slumber, so he got up by himself, padding through the house to the coffee machine, which he turned on, and then to the T.V., which he also turned on but muted, before retreating back to the coffee machine for his coffee, and finally ending up on the couch.

When he got bored, he turned the T.V. off, choosing instead to watch the sunrise out on the front porch. He stared out at the red sun as it slowly rose, barely even looking over when he heard Sara join him.

"Good morning," she whispered in his ear, wrapping her arms around his wais and kissing him gently on the cheek. When he didn't turn to her, she rested her chin on his shoulder and asked, "What're you thinking about this early in the morning?"

He finally turned and looked at her. "Sara, do you believe in heaven?"

The question caught her off guard. She gave him a strange look. "I dunno, why?"

He shrugged and turned back to the rail, leaning against it. "When I was little, my grandpa used to visit and he'd tell me all kinds of stories about Odin and Thor and Loki and all the other Norse gods, and about the great Hall of Warriors, Valhalla, where all the fallen would find eternal rest with the All-Father. I believed every word he said. While most kids grew up praying to Jesus, I would pray to Odin. Even as I grew older, I still believed. Even after all my father did, I still believed. But now…"

He turned back to her, and his big brown eyes were full of fear. "Now I don't know what to believe."

Sara sighed and took both his hands in hers. "Greg, I don't know what I believe in religion-wise, but I'll tell you what I know. I know that when you die, you will go someplace, call it Heaven if you want, or Valhalla, but either way…and when I die, I will come find you there, and we'll be together forever. If you can't believe in anything else, believe in that."

Still Greg looked doubtful. "But how do you know?" he insisted.

She placed one hand on his chest, over his heart. "Because I love you, Greg. As sure as your heart beats, I love you, and even when your heart stops beating, I will go on loving you, until the end of time. Do you honestly think a love that strong can ever die?"

Greg just leaned over and kissed her intensely, his mouth ravaging hers. She kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck. They staggered back to the bed, only pausing for Greg to grab another box of condoms.

Greg and Sara were honeymooning at Papa Olaf's old house in Northern California. It was the only place that they could afford, which was only because it was free. When Papa Olaf had died, he willed all his earthly possessions to his only living relative, Greg, who had never found it in his heart to sell the cabin that he had lived in for a good part of his life. Now he was glad he hadn't, for it gave him and Sara a place where they could be alone, even if just for two weeks.

As it was, after the first few days, Greg and Sara slipped into a pleasant routine. Their days consisted of sleeping, eating, spending time together, and…ah, let's call it "exercise," shall we? As the days progressed, however, Greg began to spend at least an hour each day by himself, holed up in the study. Sara had no idea what he was doing, but she knew that he'd tell her when he was ready.

On their final night there, Greg suggested that they take a walk through the woods. The suggestion came out of nowhere. They had just finished dinner (Ramen noodles and slightly burnt garlic bread, the extent of their combined culinary skills), and had been discussing what time to leave the next day. All of a sudden, Greg leaned forward and asked, "Hey, Sara, how would you like to go for a walk after dinner?"

Sara raised her eyebrows. "A walk? To where?"

He shrugged. "You know, out in the woods."

She gave him a strange look, but nodded. "Ok, why not?"

A smile lit his face and he leaned in and kissed her. "Awesome. I can show you my favorite place from when I was a kid." He stood up and made an exaggerated bow. "It's what you've always wanted, a trip down memory lane with your tour guide, Greg Sanders."

She couldn't help but grin even as she shook her head at his antics. "I'll just go change, then."

"You do that. I'll get the rest of the stuff together."

She stopped and turned back to him. "Stuff? What stuff?" Greg just winked and grinned. Sara glared at him. "Fine, be that way."

She stalked off toward their bedroom, Greg's voice calling after her, "Ok, I will!"

A few minutes later, Greg and Sara were walking hand-in-hand through the forest surrounding the cabin. Greg had packed the mysterious "stuff" into a backpack, which he had slung over one shoulder. Though she would never admit it, Sara was dying to know what was in that stupid backpack and what it was that Greg had planned.

They kept walking, walking for so long that she began to fear that Greg didn't have any idea where he was going. He finally stopped her in the center of a small clearing. "Well, this is it," he said, setting the backpack down on the ground.

Sara surveyed the clearing. "This is…nice," she said lightly.

He grinned. "You're wondering why the hell this is my favorite place, right?"

She flushed slightly. "No, of course not. I mean, I assume it has some kind of special value to you or something…"

"You really shouldn't assume things," he whispered, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

She turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck. "So it doesn't have any significant meaning whatsoever?" she asked, raising one eyebrow.

His dark eyes gleamed with laughter. "No, it does."

She just shook her head. "Greg, you're incorrigible."

Leaning in and kissing her, he whispered, "Yeah, but you married me anyway."

She pulled away, walking around the perimeter of the clearing. "Yeah, which doesn't say a lot about my mental state." She paused and looked back at him. "So, what's the story behind this place? What makes it so special?"

Greg shrugged and stared at the ground, suddenly tense. Sensing the abrupt anxiety, Sara came over to him, rubbing his back soothingly. "Hey, it's ok, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No, I do." He looked up at the sky, then back at her. "Do you know the story of Saint Hubert?" Looking frankly bewildered, Sara shook her head. "Well, legend has it that Hubert wasn't such a good guy until something happened that changed his life forever. He was hunting one day and he saw this magnificent stag. He went to shoot it, but it turned to him and he saw that fixed between the stag's antlers was a crucifix. Legend then says he fell to his knees praising God and lived the rest of his life as a good and pious man."

Greg paused, looking back up at the sky and sighed deeply. "When…when I came to live here, I wasn't such a good kid." He snorted. "Ok, that's bull, I was a regular juvenile delinquent. I got into some bad shit…drugs, booze, you name it, and chances are I did it, and this was all before high school. I was…I was pretty screwed up. I'm not using what my dad did as an excuse, but it did fuck me up pretty badly.

"Well, one night, I was out here, and I looked up and standing there was this dear. Now, don't worry," he grinned, eyes twinkling. "There wasn't a cross or something fixed between its antler. In fact, it didn't have antlers because it wasn't a stag; it was a hind, a doe. And standing there with it was this tiny little fawn. And I dunno," he said reminiscently. "I don't know what it was about this deer and its fawn, but from that day on, I was clean and sober. I went from straight-F student the last year of junior high to valedictorian of my high school class." He continued looking up at the sky. "And this has been my favorite spot ever since."

Sara squeezed his arm wordlessly, looking up at the sky as well. "Oh, wow, you have the best view of the stars here."

He grinned at her. "That's another reason why I love it here. And," he continued, walking over to where he had abandoned the backpack, "that's why I packed some blankets. I figured we could do some serious stargazing." He pulled a blanket out and spread it on the ground. "God, this feels like a scene from A Walk to Remember," he muttered, making a face.

Sara laughed aloud. "Ok, firstly, you watched A Walk to Remember?"

Greg pretended to look insulted. "Are you trying to say I have no cinematic taste?"

She sat on the blanket and smirked at him. "I don't have to say it; it's a known fact." He pouted and sat down with a huff. "Besides, this is better than A Walk to Remember because, if you remember, they had to have separate blankets because of her overprotective father."

"Or because she was a prude," smirked Greg, earning himself a smack from Sara. "What? Somebody had to say it!"

She just shook her head, snuggling into him as they looked at the stars. She pointed out the Little Dipper and Greg found Ursa Major, though he called it Odin's Wain. They both just kind of watched the stars in silence for a bit,

"Hey Sara?" said Greg after a little while.

"Yeah?" she replied.

"I want to make you a promise."

She rolled over on to her elbow and looked at him. "Ok, I'm listening. What are you promising me?"

"After I die, I promise you that whenever you look up at the stars, you'll see me. No matter where I am, Heaven or Hell or somewhere in between, whenever you look up at the stars, I'll be there."

Sara was silent for a minute, then she said quietly, "Ok. I'll hold you to that."

He nodded, smiling sadly. "Ok." They were both quiet for a while before Greg suddenly jumped up. "You wanna dance?" he asked, reaching down to help her up.

"What? Here?" she asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"Sure, why not? This night can't possibly get any cornier!"

"Well, for starters, we don't have any music."

Greg rolled his eyebrows exaggeratedly before going over to the backpack and pulling out a portable boom box. "I came prepared." He walked back over and held his hand out once more. "C'mon, we'll be dancin' in the moonlight," he grinned.

Sara couldn't help but grin at his enthusiasm and clichéd use of song lyrics. "Fine," she accepted, taking his hand. "Just as long as we don't have to dance to that song."

Greg grinned. "No, I promise we don't have to."

They stood in the center of the clearing and Greg pushed play. The music filled the previously soundless woods, and the two danced slowly in silence, listening to the music. Sara knew enough by now to listen to the words.

"Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,And I think of you
Caught up in circles confusion
Is nothing new
Flashback warm nights
Almost left behind
Suitcases of memories,
Time after Sometimes
You picture me
And I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, and I can't hear
What you've said
Then you say go slow
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time

After my picture fades and darkness has
Turned to gray
Watching through windows you're wondering
If I'm OK
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time

If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time

You said go slow
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds

Sara felt the tears slipping down her face as she listened to the heart-wrenching lyrics.

"Sara, sweetheart, I didn't mean to make you cry," said Greg worriedly, wiping off her tears with his thumb.

"I'm just crying because it still amazes me."

"What still amazes you?"

"It still amazes me that you really are mine, and that you really will be there time after time."

Greg looked at her seriously. "I won't just be there time after time, I'll be there every time. Forever." He kissed her gently and sweetly. "Always know that."

"I will."

They lay back down, Greg's arm around her shoulders, her head on his chest. "Sara?" he said after a few moments.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to know that I've been up to this past week?"

She looked at him. "Only if you want to tell me."

"I started to make a list. You know, of all the thing I want to do before I die."

"Greg--" she started, but he cut her off.

"The only problem was, the only thing on the list was to spend every second with you."

Sara smiled sadly. "I think we can arrange that, Greg," she whispered, squeezing his hand.

They were silent for a minute before Greg broke the silence once more. "You know what I love about the stars?"

"What?"

"I don't know, it's weird, but somehow, they make me feel like I'm not so alone."

Sara gripped his hand tightly. "You will never be alone again, Greg." She sat up and looked him straight in the eye. "We'll be together forever."

He kissed her. "I know. Believe me, I know."