Ziggy's Corner: Okay on to chapter two! I hope it's as good as the first! Review people! Review, Review, Review, Review, Review!
When last we left our heroes, Bo-BoBo and Don Patch competed in the Kentucky Derby, and to the cheering throng of millions of fans, our Bo-Dacious, Bo-dadical defender of all things hairy came out on top! Bo-BoBo stood on the podium, surrounded by friends and family and was given the keys to the city, by its very beautiful mayor, Paris Hilton.
Beauty rushed up onto the podium and shoved the blonde off, her hair a mess and her eyes wild. "Wait a minute; she wasn't in the last chapter! And she's not the mayor of any city either!"
But Beauty, that how the author has decided to begin the story!
"The narrator is right, Beauty, you can't just go charging in and changing the story when you feel like it," Bo-BoBo said with a nod of his pillowy yellow afro.
"What are you talking about? I'm not changing the story, he is, and what are we doing on the middle of a train station!" She looked around. Sure enough the Kentucky Bluegrass and the racing field had been replaced by an old fashioned train station. As she watched, five crew members carried off the props and gags of the previous chapter, one of them giving Paris Hilton a piggy back ride.
Bo-BoBo sniffed at the scene and wiped a teary eye. "That's so wonderful; I wish someone would have given me a piggy back ride when I was a straw thin, rich hotel heiress."
Beauty turned to her companion, and her eyes bugged out as she looked at him wearing the same type of clothes that Paris had been wearing. "What on Earth are you doing?"
He looked at her as if she was crazy, and he shrugged, sticking his hairy leg out as a train roared by. "Trying to get us a ride."
"Duh Beauty, anyone can see that," Don Patch said, mimicking the tall, heroic, hairy man.
"What is wrong with the two of you?" the frustrated woman asked. She slapped her head and sighed. Oh well, hopefully someone will come along and give us a ride out of here.
They stood there for as long as the author deemed necessary, and at the stroke of thirteen, the station bustled to life with all sorts of mechanical beings, robots of all shapes and colors, old and new, rusty and shiny.
"Hey, you want to buy a picture of your first day here at robot city?" a rusty red tin man asked, his joints looking as if they were about to fall right off.
"I'm sorry, but we've already gotten pictures of that," Don Patch said, holding out dozens of pictures, so many that they filled the entire station.
"When did you take those?" Beauty asked, looking at pictures of her posing in different parts of the city that she didn't remember going.
"When you were asleep," Bo-BoBo answered.
"Asleep, when was I asle…," Beauty began to ask.
Suddenly Beauty felt her eye lids droop and she dropped to the ground fast asleep. Unfortunately that was illegal in this part of the city, and a tall shiny man with biceps that could scare the piss out of Arnold Schwarzenegger's take up tap dancing classes.
"Sleeping on the floor of Robot City Station is against the law," he cried, his body twinkling as he flexed his muscles. He had blonde hair, but only a tuff of it on his head, and a trail of blonde mustache.
I just said that.
"My apologies," Armstrong said. Then he began flexing his muscles yet again. "Apologizing for saying something someone else has already has said has been passed down through the Armstrong line for Generations!"
"NOT HIM!" Beauty shot up and pointed at the character from FullMetal Alchemist, and nearly fainted.
"Now hold on, I have something to say," Bo-BoBo said.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Bo-BoBo Grand Theater is proud to present the musical that will leave you in tears, BoBo Babby Bo!
A curtain is pulled and there stood Bo-BoBo, dressed up in a tuxedo. Besides him are Don Patch, and the silver haired Spikey kid who keeps stalking the group in the series. Behind them are dozens of cute anime girls wearing bunny ears and tails.
"Now listen to what I say," Bo-BoBo began to sing. Behind him the girls bent over, hands on their knees and bounced to the music, singing "Uh-hu," over and over. "You've gotta get out your head from the hay." Again the girls sang the same tune, but were facing the other way now.
Don Patch took over. "You better eat your toast," he sang. The girls raised their arms and pumped them, chanting "your toast" over and over. "It's the breakfast I love the most."
The Spikey haired kid got into the act, "You better just run to Stevel," he said. The girls copied the boy's words leaping up and down. "Before we pound your evil!"
Finally the song was done, and the three heroes took a bow, thanking the millions of cheering robots and FullMetal Alchemist characters who were clapping with tears in their eyes.
Beauty on the other hand only sighed. "And I supposed they charged these people money for this too."
"That was a glorious concert," Armstrong wept. "And it's made me decide to finish you all off with the most glorious and beautiful of techniques." The diamonds around his body twinkled and shone as he posed, and he rushed for Bo-BoBo.
"Sorry chrome dome, but I've got other plans," Bo-BoBo said. He pulled his shirt apart and threw it on the ground. "Chestful of justice," he cried out. The weird hero's chest hair shot out and grabbed Armstrong, flinging him in the air like a ragdoll.
Not to be out done, Armstrong used Alchemy and slammed Bo-BoBo to the ground with an elbow, busting out one of his teeth.
"Hey wait a minute, Bo-BoBo has too many teeth," Beauty said. She looked over and the tooth that came out of his mouth came to life.
"I don't get it, how did you figure it out?" came a feminine voice. It transmutated and there stood Envy.
Bo-BoBo shot to his feet, wearing a British Redcoat uniform, and he pointed a finger at the Humoncolis. "How dare you be a man, but look and sound like a woman! That's my job," he shouted.
Beauty groaned and shook her head. "And he doesn't do a very good job at it either. Then it dawned on her what he had said. "Wait a minute, she's really a he!" she asked, pointing at Envy.
"That's right," Bo-BoBo and Armstrong said in unison.
"But it won't matter," Don Patch said. "Because we're ending this evil, right now. Er, unless you have a lot of money." Envy shook his head. "Then die you evil FREAK!"
Just then Lust came rolling along on the scene with Gadget, and took Envy out with one of her clawed fingers.
"I never did like him, he was thought he had cuter hair than me," she purred.
"Yeah, the stupid freak," her hair agreed. Before anyone could take the other two villains out, they disappeared into smoke, and were gone.
"Wait a minute, how could they disappear into smoke?" Winry asked.
"I have no idea," Beauty groaned.
Unfortunately they never found out in this chapter, for the will of the author is great!
"The author is a great big goof," Beauty moaned.
"Yeah, why'd you have to copy ROTS, anyway?" Winry asked.
The author is not home right now, but if you leave a message, he'll get back to you as soon as he can. Beep
"So now he has the narrator doing his dirty work?" the girls asked.
"It doesn't matter," Bo-BoBo said. "We've vanquished the evil and everything is fine and dandy." He looked at her with a goofy grin and stupidly said, "And now I'm going to eat some candy!"
And so they all ate Halloween candy until they barfed, and floated on the river of barf to the next adventure. So the question remains, have they seen the end of Lust and Gadget? Will Bo-BoBo ever learn his lesson and stop eating so much candy? Why did just Winry make a cameo, where were Ed and Al?
"Al, will you hurry up, we're going to miss the chapter. It's just a loincloth, you're a suit of armor, it not like there's anything down there anyway, so just pick one and let's go!"
"Oh yeah, this coming from a guy who's sliding down the drain in the bathroom sink."
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT WHEN A GERM SNEEZES IT BLOWS HIM AWAY LIKE A TORNADO!"
"Duh, you."
Will Ed and Al ever get ready for their cameos? And was the evil vanquished? Why didn't the author pick up his phone, and why didn't June Anatoplis ever accept my invitation to take her to Junior Prom? This and more questions will be answered in the next exciting chapters of, the BO-BOBO FILES!
Okay I had fun with this one too, so let me know what ya all think!