Disclaimer: I don't own POTC, simple as that.
A/N: I would like to point out again, that I am not trying to make fun of anyone's stories. This is merely my opinion on the whole matter. If you find it offensive don't read. Other then that, ENJOY.
What Would Elizabeth Think?
The scream could only be described as ear splitting and purely agonizing as Elizabeth Swan tore at the Fanfic that had just escaped the clutches of the wheezing and nearly dead printer.
"Elizabeth."
"What!" she screamed in the general directing of the door. Frustrated, she pushed herself violently away from the computer desk with her foot, sending her chair shooting back. Unbalanced by the forceful act, it rocked precariously, nearly sending her tumbling onto her carpeted floor.
"Miss Swan," the woman tried again, struggling to be patient. "Your Father is entertaining a guest downstairs, he would prefer if you kept the noise level down."
"What am I? A child?" Elizabeth demanded, clutching the printed fanfic with a killer's determination. She realized that she had just acquired herself another couple of paper cuts to add to her collection.
"No my lady, of course not," the maid said hurriedly, backing away from the closed door, as if it would somehow protect her. "You just startled our guest by your shout."
"It's not exactly my fault," Elizabeth muttered, glaring at her door. She couldn't see the maid on the other side, but knew she would be talking to thin air if she replied. The maid had already fled the area. "Chicken."
Firmly forgetting her Father, Elizabeth turned back to the important task at hand. The fanfic. The horribly, inaccurate, inconceivable fanfic. How dare people think what they thought! Her and Jack Sparrow? Elizabeth shuddered at the thought. It was a vile contemplation and one that constantly infuriated her when people thought it might be possible.
"They!" she screamed, to her ceiling, painted to resemble the night sky. "They make me like Jack ! Captain Jack Sparrow! Can you believe that?" There was of course no answer, but she wasn't entirely looking for one.
Glaring, Elizabeth swiped a pair of blue scissors off her computer desk and meandered over to her bed, where she promptly sat in the middle and held the dreaded thing before her. She crossed her legs. "Time to pay," she growled at the writing. "Snip, snip."
Suddenly content, she set about cutting it to ruined shreds. She even hummed as she worked; quite sure she was condemning her house to further insanity. Well, she thought angrily, it isn't my fault! Me and Jack? Never! He is a vile, despicable man. I could barely call him an acquaintance.
"Elizabeth!"
Jumping, Elizabeth looked down at her handiwork and smiled. The fanfic was in shreds, piece of writing and paper were floating all over her bed. It was another mess she would have to clean later, but she felt entirely better.
"Yes Father?" she grinned jumping off the bed and sauntering to her door, adapting a perfect swagger to the walk. "What is it this time?" She turned the knob and opened the door to face him.
"Are you satisfied?" Weatherby Swan demanded, crossing his arms. His hair seemed to stand on end and he had a furious look about him. "You just scared off our guest with your screams. Do you want me enroll you in an Academy for the Insane? This has got to stop!"
Elizabeth took a step back, biting her lower lip. "It's not my fault," she protested, crossing her arms. She was already, quite familiar with the argument.
Weatherby stepped forward and looked at the state of chaos that was her room. There was literally paper everywhere. Dozens of ruined fanifcs depicting the Jack/Elizabeth scene scattered the floor. He sighed. "Well, I'm glad that you have no interest in that pirate."
"Thank you!" Elizabeth grinned and bounced on the heels of her feet. "I rather despise pirates myself. But I will say, I had to kiss him."
"You what…" Weatherby stammered. He staggered and had to reach out to grab the doorframe in order to support himself.
Elizabeth snickered at her Father's reaction. She was sure she had told him the story a thousand times, yet he still insisted on almost dying every time she mentioned it. She was definitely feeling better. "I told you Father. The Kraken was after Jack, I had to keep him there somehow. If only Will…" she broke off frowning. Will, well that was another story. Pig-headed men. Men, you couldn't do with them and yet you couldn't do without them.
"Elizabeth," her Father gasped recovering. Her released his death-hold on the door. He waved at her room. "Clean this up. You left enough of it for the maids last time. They don't want to be cleaning up your tantrums." Slightly swaying, and not waiting for an answer, Weatherby evacuated himself from the area surrounding his daughter's room.
Rolling her eyes Elizabeth shut her door and turned around. Ignoring the mess, though occasionally jumping on a scattered piece of paper for emphasis, she headed to her computer, plopping herself into the chair.
"Hmm," she thought aloud, biting her lower lip. Tugging her hair away from her face she pulled the keyboard closer and opened Microsoft Word. Hitting the center button, she typed in large, bold letters: HISTORY LESSONS 101: WHY THERE'S NOTHING BETWEEN JACK AND ME. STRONGLY SUGGESTED FOR THE READING IMPAIRED.
Satisfied, Elizabeth leaned back and grinned, clapping her hands together. People were going to pay. They were going to learn the hard way that she didn't tolerate that nonsense to go on. Leaning, humming again, the only noise that filled the room was the steady clacking of the keyboard.
And the rest of the household? It is pretty much safe to say that they were hiding in terror.