Chapter Sixteen

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

4 years later

Drake had spent the past four years taking care of Lennon because it was what Josh had asked him to do that night in the hospital so long ago. It was now that Drake was getting tired of bringing her around everywhere, recording studios, live interviews, photo shoots, whatever he was doing in the day she had to be there.

For all the things Drake had ever done for Josh this was probably the most inconvenient, it wasn't like he hated Lennon, he loved her to death, but she was becoming more like his own child than she was Josh's, and Drake wasn't ready for a child of his own yet. Drake was just thankful that this was all about to end soon. Mindy had decided that pre-law was just too intense and with Josh having to go on to med school she didn't want to have to push Lennon on Drake for at least four more years, so she changed to an English major with a teaching degree so she could spend the summers with her daughter and be home when she got home. Life would be easier on all of them.

If you had known Drake Parker 6 years ago the only thing you would recognize about him would be his dark hair and dark eyes. Sure he was still the party loving, rock star, that he'd wanted to be and sort of was in High School, but this Drake Parker had priorities, deadlines to make, a niece to take care of, and a fiancé, the one thing that 17 year old Drake Parker would never have imagined his would be doing.

The day he knelt down to one knee and asked Lillah to marry him was the day when he knew he'd grown up. It was the day he knew that commitment was going to be a part of his life forever, he couldn't turn back now. He couldn't decide that she wasn't the one; he'd dated far too many girls to know that there wasn't anyone else that he'd rather be with. And that was a change Drake Parker had been willing to make.

Here it was a perfect San Diego day, the sun shining high, a slight breeze in the air, high in the low 70's, a perfect fall day perfect for the wedding of Drake and Lillah, a wedding that no one would have ever expected to happen, a wedding that no one would have expected to last this long, that was any one who knew Drake Parker.

Drake and Josh were getting ready at the church while Lillah and the other girls in the wedding party were getting ready at his house. Audrey had made a big deal about her sons wedding and she had fallen in love with Lillah and considered her as her own daughter. Audrey had never expected, much like everyone else, that Drake would actually walk down the aisle, at least not before Josh and Mindy did.

Drake and Josh were getting ready with the other guys in the wedding party. The other groomsmen were the members of Drake's band, his best man was obviously Josh. It was his brother who'd gotten him into this whole mess, though he was sure he'd have met Lillah later on if they were meant for each other, which Drake was starting to believe because he'd never felt the way he did with her, with any other girl.

Drake wanting to get away from all of this wedding talk, no one would leave him alone about actually getting married in the first place, the public or his family and friends. It was almost like it was some big joke and Drake was sick of people making a big deal out of his relationship. All the jokes about how long this would last made him nervous that it wouldn't last long, only because Drake worried about himself. He worried that he'd made a mistake, that she wasn't the right girl that someone else out there was. He was worried that he'd get bored with her like everyone else. But he kept telling himself that four years was long enough to know and if he wasn't bored with her yet then he wouldn't be for hopefully a long time.

Drake jumped into his car and drove to the nearest grocery store, not knowing where else to go. He realized that he'd look awkward in his tuxedo pants and shirt with vest; he didn't bother to bring the jacket because it was just too much.

He got out and walked down the canned foods aisle, aimlessly walking gazing at the cans of corn, squash, and beans, second guessing his intentions on marry Lillah White. That's when he saw her, standing there, holding a can of carrots. He didn't recognize her, what with her longer hair, her Jackie-O sunglasses and her expensive clothes. He did a double take and figured it was some kind of sign. He was here second guessing himself wasn't he? And she just happened to be there, standing there like a sign with a can of carrots in her hand. It was all too perfect, it had to be a sign, it had to be.

"Taylor?" He questioned as she took off the sunglasses and looked at him, standing there in a tux.

"Drake?" she said shocked as she took a few steps back. "How long has it been?"

"Four years." He stated running a hand through his hair. "I see you've done well."

"Yeah, I'm a professional photographer. I actually just finished a photo shoot with Paris Hilton for Vanity Fair. It pays the bills and then some." She explained.

"Yeah, that's awesome." He said lost for words, she'd done it; she'd made it in the world. "Why are you here in San Diego?" He questioned.

"Visiting some friends. Why are you here? In a tux?"

"I'm getting married today." Drake stated sounding like he was telling her the weather, rather then being excited about getting married.

"That's great. I've heard that you've made a name for yourself. You're bands pretty good; my roommate is obsessed with you. She didn't believe me when I told her that I spent a summer with you." Taylor said as she recalled that summer four years ago.

"Yeah, that summer…" Drake trailed kicking himself for ever dumping Taylor, why couldn't he have both girls and that was when Drake Parker realized why he was destined to be a bachelor because he liked too many girls and he couldn't expect any one girl to be perfect for him because there would always be something he loved more about another girl that came along.

They both stood there not saying anything, both awkward because they both knew that they missed that time, both of them. Both scared to admit that since they'd split they'd been missing something from their lives.

"Well, I've got to go get back to my friends, we're having a party. It was nice to see you again Drake." Taylor said as she started to walk away.

"You too." He said coolly.

She started to walk off when he called out her name. She turned around and stood before him and all that flashed through his mind was that afternoon in the bathroom in D.C. when he kissed her and nothing in the world had felt better than that kiss at that moment. It was like a bad movie playing over and over again in his mind. That summer flashing before him like a slide show of memories. The picking her up at the truck stop in Nevada, the kiss in D.C., the Holiday Inn in Hershey, the Hostel in New York, the trip back. It was all what he'd needed all along; it was what had changed him. It was why he wrote Down We Fall. It was why everything had happened to him. That stupid road trip was why he was standing here right now because without it nothing in his life would have never have been what it was right this very moment.

He watched her standing there, ten times more gorgeous than she ever was, carrying an air of confidence that she never had that entire trip, and she had found her way. She had a name for herself. He wanted her so badly at that moment and he couldn't control any of it. Lillah wasn't a word in his vocabulary, if asked right now he couldn't describe her all, all he could see was Taylor.

It was stupid, he was stupid, everything he'd ever done in life was stupid, but this, this was the stupidest thing he'd ever done. Kissing Taylor in the canned food items of the local stop in shop, throwing away everything he had going for him. The kiss that brought him back to reality, the kiss that made him realize that he was breaking another woman's heart, he was breaking two women's hearts. Just knowing he had to go back to that church and be faithful to another woman killed him inside. It killed him knowing that he half cheated on Lillah. It killed him knowing that this encounter would haunt him. That every time he kissed Lillah from here on out would feel like kissing Taylor.

"I've got to go." She whispered as she turned and left quickly.

Drake stood there cursing himself inside for his own stupidity. He was the one that broke up with Taylor, he was the one who kissed Lillah when he was still with her, he was the one that asked Lillah to marry him, and he was the one that kissed Taylor. He was the one that had screwed up his own life back from the start of it all.

"Fuck…" He whispered as he tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall at any moment. He ran back to his car dodging shopping carts and people. He sat there for a few minutes crying and kicking himself for even thinking of kissing her. He turned on the ignition and hurried back to the church. He dried his face and made sure that it wasn't tear stained, composed himself and pretended that nothing happened between them at all. It was just a dream that's what it was, a dream.

No one questioned where he'd gone except Josh and he just told him that he needed a drive to clear his mind. Josh just told him that he was doing the right thing and that he knew that Drake loved this girl and that she loved him and that he'd never find anything better.

The ceremony went on without a hitch and Lillah looked beautiful in her Vera Wang dress, hair falling over her shoulders in soft curls, she never looked more beautiful but Drake still couldn't shake the image of Taylor out of his mind. Their first kiss as husband and wife felt wrong, Drake still could taste Taylor, but also Lillah and the thought of both of them was comforting in a twisted way.

Their reception was at a small hotel in San Diego, near the beach. Not exactly rock and roll but the band made up for it.

They danced to their song, Just the Way You Are, by Billy Joel and they did the whole couple thing, getting advice from their elders but still Drake couldn't stop playing that summer, four years ago, in his mind.

He left under the excuse that he was going to go talk to people but instead he went out and sat on the upper balcony where no one was and he was thankful, because he needed to be alone.

He sat there and watched as the sun set on the Pacific and thought about his life up to here. He questioned leaving Lillah but he knew that he loved her more than anything but it scared him that he couldn't stop thinking about Taylor. She looked so goddamn perfect standing there, the passion she felt for him still a flame in her eyes. The kiss unleashing everything they'd bottled up about the other over the past four years. But he kept coming back to the same question as he sat there, the one conclusion that proved that he didn't love her as much as he thought he did, and that question was; If he had really honestly loved her why didn't he try to find her those past four years, and likewise with her. That's when Josh came up and interrupted his train of thought.

"Drake, here you are Lillah's looking for you." Josh said as he studied his brother and knew that something was wrong. He sat down next to his brother. "You want to talk about it?" He asked knowing that Drake would if he wanted to. Knowing that he came out here to think about it and that it had to be something big, whatever it was.

"I kissed her." He said eyes fixed on the horizon.

"Yeah, you two got married." Josh trailed a little confused.

"Not Lillah Josh, I kissed her."

"Who's her?" Josh asked confused.

"Four years ago Josh we took that stupid road trip and we changed everything about our lives that summer. Well at least I did." Drake said recalling the summer that was playing over and over in his mind.

"You kissed Taylor a long time ago Drake. Why are you bringing this up? It was four years ago. I thought you two decided that what you did was right."

"Josh, I kissed her today. This afternoon at the grocery store when I left. Josh all I keep seeing in my head is that day in D.C. when we had that massive fight in the reflecting pool of the Washington monument, that day when Taylor and I kissed in the bathroom of the hotel. Josh…what the hell is wrong with me?" Drake questioned tears falling down his face. "Why can't I just love one woman? Why can't I just like what I have? Why do I have to screw it up all the time? Why the hell can't I just commit? Why Josh why?" Drake cried as he placed his head in his hands. "I love both of them. I want them both. Taylor was so fucking gorgeous today and so was Lillah. When I kissed Lillah today all I could feel was Taylor. What the fuck is wrong with me?" He cried harder. "I hate this so much. I hate feeling like this."

Josh sat there not knowing what in the world to say to comfort his brother. There was nothing he could say. There was nothing he could do but let him cry and be here for him.

"Drake…" Josh began but couldn't find any words that would justify anything that Drake was feeling. There was no advice that he could give. "There is nothing wrong with you." He finally managed to come up with.

"Yeah there is Josh."

"If you had loved Taylor like you love Lillah you would have called her a long time ago. Then again you never would have dumped her." Josh said.

Drake knew that the whole time, he just needed to hear it from someone else to know that it was true.

"I know."

"Then why are you still thinking you love Taylor? You don't. So what if you kissed her and it felt good. It felt good when I kissed her too and cheated on Mindy. But Drake look, I loved Mindy more, I knew that I wouldn't get any better than her. Taylor's got this thing about her I guess that makes men second guess what they want. You want Lillah, you know that. You never asked Taylor to marry you. So just forget about it and go back to your wife. Because Drake, you're never going to find anyone who loves you more than Lillah does." Josh half yelled at his brother who took the verbal abuse because he knew that he needed to hear it from someone else. "Does that make you feel any better?" Josh asked as he placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You're right Josh. I just don't know. This isn't something I'm used to. These past few years have been crazy. I mean I find myself wishing I was still back in High School, that we were still back there. You know sharing that room, trying to get by with a new brother, trying to enjoy high school and survive Megan's pranks. God Josh where did it all go? I mean we used to do everything together. Remember when we needed that break from each other but just ended up with those lame replacements Drew and Jerry?" Drake said as a faint smile passed over his face.

"Yeah…" Josh reminisced with his brother. He too had begun to miss those days.

"Who could forget Hollywood? That was amazing I mean even though we did get kidnapped by those two thugs, well it was your fault, kind of, but man we got to ride in Tony Hawks viper, I played on TRL because of you and no doubt am what I am now because of it. But Josh, part of me wants to go back to those days of sharing a room with you. I want to go back so badly Josh. I miss it being just the two of us." Drake sighed as he looked up at his brother.

"And to think that we hated each other." Josh laughed as he recalled their younger years.

"Sorry about that stupid foam finger. I never meant to ruin your childhood and it was Megan that threw the cookie." Drake laughed which felt good.

"God we did so much together."

"You said it bro. I just miss it. I miss our little schemes and getting into trouble together."

"We'll still hang out. Mindy and I are going to live in L.A. while I go to med school." Josh said as he realized that yes their lives were changing.

"Josh I still can't believe these last four years. We grew up so quickly."

"I know what you mean, I'm a father." Josh smiled as he thought about his three year old daughter.

"Yeah and I'm a rock star."

"Funny how we both got what we wanted so quickly."

"Yeah, but I couldn't have done any of this without you." Drake said as he thanked his brother.

"No I couldn't have done this without you." Josh said. "You were the one that sent Megan on the wrong plane. If you hadn't done that we never would have had to fly to L.A. I never would have met that guy in the bathroom and you never would have been offered that deal at Spin City Records."

"We both were to blame for our lives turning out like this." Drake said softly. "I owe you so much Josh."

"We owe each other nothing. We owe it all to our parents. If they hadn't met we'd have gone on hating each other. You would have never thought of talking to a dorky kid like me and I would have been too shy to talk to someone as cool as you." Josh said because he'd just realized that it was true.

"No, we owe our other parents, my birth father for being a jack ass and your birth mother, or the guy that killed her, as morbid as that sounds." Drake smiled. "It was meant to be Josh Nichols. We were meant to meet, we were meant to be here right now. We had no idea how much we needed each other. I needed you to open my eyes to the rest of the world not Drake Parker's little bubble. I lived in a bubble Josh that was until you came along and made me realize that people weren't out to please me."

"And I needed you to help me get over my insecurities about myself. You helped me after that incident on the news and you helped me get my girlfriend back, you gave me advice on being cool and trying new things like trying out for the football team. I mean sure we hated each other at points. Who could forget what landed us on the Dr. Phyllis show."

"She was a moron." Drake laughed.

"She didn't realize what had happened before all those fights. I don't think we even did. We just never saw eye to eye on everything."

"That happens; man that show was a waste of our time. Fights happen, you can't expect to people with nothing in common except their parents love for one another to get along all the time."

"I'm still shocked that we even learned to co-exist in the beginning. The fact that we're this close now still shocks me." Josh smiled as he looked at his brother.

"Yeah, it is amazing. Josh promise me that you'll never leave." Drake said after a few minutes.

"As long as you promise the same."

"I do."

"Then so do I."

"Every Friday night is guy's night out." Drake laughed as he sat up straighter.

"Totally." Josh laughed. "Hug me brother?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Drake laughed as he hugged his brother like they had so many times before.

"Now dude get back to your wife." Josh added as he shoved his brother back inside.

"What would I do without you?" Drake asked as Josh followed him inside.

"You would cease to exist."

The two entered the reception area with smiles on their faces both not knowing where the next four years would take them, where the next 10, 20, 70 years would take them. Both knowing that the other would be there whenever the other needed them, because that's what they did, they were brothers, and it didn't matter if they weren't birth brothers, they were brothers and that's what brothers do, they're there for the other when the other needs it.

The night concluded and all thoughts of Taylor were far from Drake's mind and all thoughts of his life with Lillah were now flooding his mind. Thoughts of the future weren't clear but Drake didn't care anymore. He didn't need to know now if he and Lillah weren't going to last and he didn't care he was happy now and he had his instant gratification, he had his warm brownie soup, and that was all he needed.

He smiled as he carried his wife through the doorway to their hotel room and threw her on the bed both of them laughing.

"What are you smiling about?" She asked coquettishly as she smiled at her husband.

"I'm smiling because I have all that I need right here." He said as he kissed her gently.

"Perfect because you're all that I want."

The two laughed and ended what was the perfect night for them both. Both knowing that this moment would happen their entire lives. Both unsure of the future, but both knowing that the other would be there because they had this bond that they'd never had before. Both only wanting one thing and that was the other, both knowing that they were what the other needed. Knowing that they completed each other.