Ziggy's Corner: Okay chapter six is here, so far, I hope everyone has had fun! spinningcannon, you are getting your wish on this one, because on this one, it is a totally Don Patch chapter. Well, Gasser – the Spikey Haired Kid – is seen too, and Bo-BoBo makes a brief cameo, but that's it. Promise, totally Don Patch. Don Patch pumps his fist in victory. Don't too cocky you. Anyway, on with the show!
In our last exciting episode, our Bo-Dacious, Bo-Dadical, Do-Diddly protector of human hair rights, Bo-BoBo and friends gathered for a wedding, only for it to be interrupted by an evil demon and a few of his adversaries. After an intense battle, Beauty and Gasser quickly annulled their marriage. . .,
"Waaahaaahaa," Gasser cried.
"Wait, how do you know his name is Gasser? He hasn't been mentioned in the anime yet," Beauty said.
The Manga listed all of the characters, and showed him with gas for a weapon.
"Ew, no wonder I annulled him," Beauty said, sticking out her tongue, ignoring the further pained cries of the Spikey Hai…, er, Gasser.
Bo-BoBo's do quickly fell in love with InuYasha's pearly white locks, and another marriage was arranged.
"What the hell?" InuYasha wailed.
Unfortunately that too was revoked when the new moon rose and his white hair was shed for long silky black hair.
"Waahaaahaaa," Bo-BoBo's hair cried.
But where was Don Patch in all of this? Is our Ninja Star friend gone forever, will he never again appear?
"Dream on," Don Patch groaned, carrying a large stash of presents. "Beauty sent me back to town to return all of the wedding gifts."
And so with that in mind, let's see how he's doing!
Don Patch grunted and groaned as he dragged the large package from store to store. With each return it simply got more and more irritating too. "Couldn't they have at least given me a gift certificate," he whined, pulling the bag. "No, I have to carry this large stash of…" he stopped for a moment and smiled. "Cash."
Before the wicked little sidekick could think of doing anything rock he tripped over a large rock and rolled all the way down a large hill, busting the remainder gifts, and scattering all of the money into the wind.
"I'm not a sidekiiicccccckkkkkkk!" he shouted, falling until he bumped his head on a rock and passed out.
When he woke up there was a light over his head and he had to smile. "Heaven. . ., I'm in Heaven! Hah, I knew even God had to get confused with bureaucratic red tape!" He leapt and did a happy snoopy dance, before he realized he was on a slab in some kind of medical ward. "Wait, what's going on?"
"Bones, this piece of victim is talking," said a nicely dressed man in an F.B.I. suit.
"Piece of VICTIM!" Don Patch leapt up and looked all over to see what had happened; only to see that he had truly was all there. "Hey look pal, I'm no victim here. And why do you look like you're in 3-D!"
"BONES!" Seeley Booth screeched, leaping away from the ninja star.
An attractive young forensic anthropologist stormed forward and looked at the F.B.I. agent. "How many times have I told you not to call me Bones?" Temperance Brennan snapped. "Now what are you babbling on about?"
"Hot Damn, you're good looking," Don Patch said, running his hands over his points and flatting them.
In a very sexy voice, Don Patch attempted to woo the young woman, only to have her smack him off the table, and give him a major boo boo on his head.
"Ow, what a boo boo," Don Patch groaned, holding his head. "And what a woman! You know cutie, I have a stash of dough somewhere near the city, want to help me spend it?"
Seeley Booth picked up the ninja star and stared at him with fierce intensity. "So, you're some kind of alien thief or something?"
"I don't know what you would call me sailor, but if your looking for a late evening on the town, I'm your girl," Don said, wearing lipstick and make up and a dress. "I'm ready for my close up, Mr. Daville." Don reached up and kissed Seeley straight on the lips, and was promptly dropped by the agent, who pulled out his gun.
"Okay, I don't know what you are," he groaned, "but I've had enough of it."
"Wait, Booth, this might be some kind of asexual new species," Brennan said, grabbing the agent's arm and twisting it so he dropped the gun. They looked at each other for a few minutes and in the twist of the situation held each other and began to kiss, as they sat in their boat in the middle of a sparkling lake.
"Sparkling lake? What the hell? Weren't we just in the office?" Seeley asked. "And why am I dressed like Bret Butler?"
As they stared at each other, moving music floated up over the fields, and the audience began to pat their teary eyes.
"Seeley," Temperance said in a strong Southern accent, "you mustn't leave me. I've decided it's been you I've been in love with all this time."
"It's too little, too late for that Temperance, I'm going," Seeley said, turning toward the door.
"The door, wait, weren't they on a boat in a lake?" Angie asked.
"Shush," Don Patch said, dressed in a tuxedo, "you're ruining to mood." He looked at the hot artist and held up some pop corn. "Want some?"
"Thanks," she said, helping herself to the ten ton bag.
"No, No Seeley, you mustn't," Temperance cried, trying to hold on to Booth's tuxedo. "Please, what will become of me?"
Seeley looked at the woman, her eyes twinkling with hope and despair at the same time and finally pulled away from her. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a poo." He opened the door and walked through it, and was back in the office. "What the hell?"
"Aw man, that was a total rip," Angie groaned.
"I've seen lots better fella," Don Patch snarled, dressed in a director's uniform. "That was totally lack of enthusiasm!"
"I don't know what's going on here, but I want answers," turning to Angie he frowned, "And why are you taking PICTURES OF THIS THING!"
"Wait, why are you talking in caps?" Temperance asked, walking through the door, totally bald. "Oh my Gawd, I'm totally BALD!"
"King Baldy Bald!" Don Patch realized.
And it was! Well, not the king exactly but another of his goons who had followed the ninja star into this world of 3-D. A short, shady character with cat eyes and clippers for fingers walked toward, cackling.
"JONNY DEPP!" Don Patch cried.
"Hey, you could get sued for that kind of character license without permission," the goon snapped. "My name is Danny Clippydigits! And now all of you are going to lose your hair!"
He rushed forward, cackling and snipping with his fingers, shaving Don Patch and Seeley Booth both bald, before he could be stopped by a massive cloud of explosive gas.
"Oh sure, MAKE HIM THE HERO!" Don Patch screamed, pointing at Gasser. "I'm going to tell my agent on you for this!"
spinningcannon has STILL not called you back yet, you little goof.
"I'm wasting good minutes on this cell phone here, but I don't care!" Don Patch said, his hair turning to points and his body surrounding his head closer until he was nothing but a throwing star. "Well I'm not going to wait for them to get mad at you, Spinning star of checheroes!"
"You misspelled that word," Gasser said.
"I don't care right now!" the ninja star snapped. With the speed of light he hit Danny Clippyclop . . .
"Clippydigits!"
… Clippydigits, with such power that it sent the villain all the way back to the series.
"But I never made it to either the series or the Magna!" the goon cried, disappearing off in the distance in a shimmering star.
"Wait; wasn't the star guy shaved too?" Temperance asked, trying on a wig.
"True, but I'm a ninja star, so I really don't have any hair to cut!" Don Patch said with a wide grin.
"Why the hell were only Temperance and I shaved?" Seeley groaned.
That's easy, because Angie is so darn HOT!
"Thank you announcer guy," the spicy young woman said, playing with her own natural curls.
"I don't understand, why was Gasser even mentioned," Temperance asked.
The will of the author is GREAT!
"Hold up a minute," Seeley said, storming to a, until now, unseen closed closet door.
Stay away from the door, focus on the page!
Seeley ripped the door open, and there was . . . Angie, sitting behind a computer desk, with a microphone in her hand.
"WHAT THE FUCK!"
"The narrator got sick, so I thought I'd help him out in this chapter," she said with her cute little grin.
"But if you're here? Then who is . . ., WHAT IS DON PATCH DOING WITH THAT OTHER ANGIE!"
"Who this?" Don Patch asked. "Oh this is my Angie bot. She's come in handy when I just have a chapter to myself and want a sidekick."
"That makes sense," Gasser said, holding the bag of money that Don Patch had tried to skip town with in the beginning of the chapter. "By the way, I found this in the forest by the town. I've taken the liberty of sending all the people who have given us wedding gifts their money back."
"WaaaaaHaaaaaaahaaaaa," Don Patch cried.
Will Don Patch ever get another chapter to himself? Will we see the Angie bot used again? Is Gone with the Wind Seeley's favorite movie? And will the remake he was in ever win as many Oscars are the original!
"Angie, what are you doing?" Temperance sighed.
I've explained in the beginning of this page, please pay attention. And that being said, will Temperance EVER pay attention? And what happened to our favorite hero and defender of hair, Bo-BoBo?
"I give this chapter a thumbs down, the scenes were realistic but Don Patch was too dry in his acting."
"WAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAAA!" Don Patch wailed yet again.
"Well I think it was okay, just so long as Vanguard Ziggy didn't charge these people for this chapter, so thumbs up," Beauty said with a little uncertainty.
No, no I didn't charge anyone anything! Turns away from the camera Ten dollars and fifty cents, ten dollars and seventy five cents, oh someone paid in advance, that's twenty dollars . . .
Will the fans of this fanfic still flock to Vanguard Ziggy? What IS the great evil, and will Bo-BoBo ever defeat it?
"The Great Evil wasn't even MENTIONED IN THIS CHAPTER BY ANYONE!" Beauty cried.
Until now. So dear readers, for the answer to this and all other questions tune in to the next exciting chapter of The BOBOBO FILES!
"How did I do daddy?" Angie asked, turning to her father, the real narrator of the fanfic.
SniffsThat's my baby girl sniffs sniffs.
Well I hope every one is having fun, because God knows, I'm having a ball! See ya for chapter seven!