Chapter 5

A/N Cybro, Danese and Sassy rock!

"I don't care what you say. They are a couple and you better tell Gris what you said to Sara."

Nick bit into his sandwich and looked away from his friend.

"You better tell Gris," Warrick warned again.

Nick shook his head and mumbled something unintelligible.

Grissom spoke from the doorway of the break room. "Tell me what?"

Warrick pursed his lips. Nick gave a nervous smile. "Warrick is overreacting."

"Is he?"

"Yeah."

"Why don't you let me decide?"

"Look Grissom, it might not be anything specifically for you to concern yourself with."

"Like I said, let me be the judge of that Nicky."

Nick was silent. Grissom looked at Warrick with a raised eyebrow.

"Nick told Sara that Meredith looks like Angelina Jolie, and that she has thing for you."

Grissom groaned inwardly. The CSI temp did resemble Angelina Jolie, and she looked at him with the same fawning expression Sara had so many years ago.

Grissom slid his beefy hands into his pockets and retreated. "No wonder you sleep alone at night, Nick. No wonder."

OOOOOOOO

Gil signed the last report and prepared to leave. He was late, again. He'd spent 12 hours crawling around on his hands and knees trying to figure out who had murdered a twelve-year-old honor student. He was tired and hungry, and the old knee injury was flaring up.

He reached absently for the phone. Third shift was usually when Sara turned from understanding co-worker to nagging girlfriend.

He looked at his phone. He pushed buttons and read the screen.

"Do you need anything? Food?"

"I am on my way right now."

His heart skipped a beat as he looked at the slim brunette with the full mouth standing in his door. Meredith Webber did not look very much like Sara. He was just used to seeing her standing there lounging in the doorway.

"Dr. Grissom?"

"Grissom, Meredith. No one calls me Dr. Grissom around here. Except for judges and lawyers. What's up?"

"I just want to thank you for letting me land in your lab for a couple of months. The moving around was starting to get to me. One week in Miami. One week in New York. It used to be fun. Lately, it's been tiresome."

"You don't have to thank me. You were a prefect fit for Sara's skill set."

"Yeah well thanks anyway." Her voice was less nervous now and something in it made Grissom stand up and pay attention.

She paused for a minute before crossing the threshold. "So everyone just calls you Grissom?"

"Everyone but about four people in the world. Catherine, my mother and two others."

"Ah, all women. So any word whether Sara is going to come back after she has the baby?"

"Not yet."

Grissom had been forced to replace Sara after she finally admitted that he and the doctor were right. As much as she wanted to forge ahead with work it was just too much.

"How do other women do this?"

"It doesn't matter. You don't have to do it. Work, don't work, it doesn't matter to me."

Meredith showed a row of even teeth. "I am not trying to take her job or anything. I just wondered. It's nice here. People seem to genuinely like one another."

"I understand and if anything comes down the pipeline, I will let you know. We can't keep good CSI's. FBI keeps stealing them. I'll make sure Conrad knows you are interested in something long term."

She nodded and took another step towards Grissom's desk, her hands positioned in her back pockets.

"Was there something else, Meredith?"

"Um well, gosh, this is embarrassing. I had it all planned out in my head. Now it just sounds stupid."

"I doubt that it's stupid," he said despite his trepidation

She gave a nervous smile and continued. "I probably wouldn't have the nerve to do this if you were my real boss, but I was wondering if you'd like to go out sometime."

"No," he said a little too easily.

He said it so fast that he hardly had time to catalogue the briskness of the answer. Meredith's brown eyes watered a little, and he was reminded of Sara when she had asked him out years before.

"I am sorry, Meredith. That came out wrong."

"It did?" Her eyes brightened up a bit.

"I am very flattered."

"I don't know which is worse, that or 'I just want to be friends'."

"Well, it's the truth." He tried again. "I am…." He was what? He wasn't married or engaged. He was what?

"I have a family." He finally said.

"A family? I thought you weren't married."

"I'm not-uh, not yet." That was right, wasn't it? He just needed to get the ring and propose and actually do the deed.

"That's not what you said though. You said you had a family." Meredith intelligent eyes flickered with realization.

"Oh shit. Sara. Oh shit. I must be an idiot. I come in here asking about her job, and then I ask you out. I heard, but you know how office rumors are. Well of course you know."

He nodded with relief. "Where's there's smoke, there is usually fire. Mind if we keep this between us. We haven't had a chance to tell the team yet."

The woman stood quickly. She was all business again. "Sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. Meredith?"

"Yes."

"Nick's single."

OOOOOOO

By the time he got home Sara was engrossed in what could only be described as full-scale pregnancy meltdown. Meredith had promptly left his office in search of Nick, where she told the young CSI that she'd asked Grissom out. He had turned her down and now she would like to give Nick a shot. Sorry for any misunderstanding. She hadn't known Nick was interested, hadn't known that Grissom was not.

Sara's eyes were red rimmed to match her nose and cheeks.

"If you want to go out with her, just go." She almost yelled as he crossed the threshold.

"I don't want to go out with her. If I wanted to go out with her, I would have gone." He shot back coming to settle next to her in the kitchen. His hot breath touched one bit of her hair.

He kept reminding himself that he had no one else to blame for his current situations. He should have surrendered years ago. Chased her like the lovesick fool he was and not worried about work, or the age difference or the fool she was bound to make of him.

She had been occupied with the baby's room, and that had helped the constant tension some. Unfortunately, they'd hired the only reliable speedy contractor in the country. Now it was a matter of the paint drying.

Black eyes flashed as she turned tail and stalked from the kitchen. "Oh! Then it's just me you don't want to deal with. It was me that you turned down for a date."

Experience has taught him to let her go. She would calm down. He could eat and gather his wits maybe order some jewelry, maybe a ring.

OOOOOOOOOO

When she finally came to bed, he was idly flipping through channels forgoing his usual poker for something less tense.

"Sorry," she mumbled taking the black rectangle from his hand and turning the set off.

"I don't know why you do that. You watch whatever it is for five minutes and then you are out."

"Ritual."

"Yeah. Look. I want you to hear me out. It's going to sound crazy but it's not I promise."

Bluish colored light caught one of her cheeks and her soft smile.

"Does it involve me getting lucky?" Grissom joked.

"Yes."

"All ears."

"I know - I know that I look like a tank."

He shook his head disagreeably but let her continue. "And I know that I can be difficult with the baby. Who am I kidding? I can be difficult no matter what. If you need - um."

He tilted his head to one side so he could see her mouth form the words. He did not like the way this was going and wanted to make sure that he completely understood what she was saying.

"I won't mind your needs – um, if you need to go and have your needs taken care of somewhere else. If you want to see this Meredith person or um, maybe Heather or something." The last words were said in a whoosh that he barely heard because his own voice was added to them.

"Sara!"

"What!"

"I am not going to go sleep with another woman while you are sitting at home pregnant with my baby. I don't have any needs that aren't being taken care of. Unless of course you don't want to make love to me anymore and even if you don't, I don't care. I'll jack off in the bathroom."

"But it's not like you'd be lying. You would have permission." Her voice belayed stress and trepidation.

"No!"

"Gris, just listen." A soft hand settled on his shoulder

He rubbed his temples hoping to stave off a migraine. "I listened. Don't you get the understanding of committed relationship? Committed. Maybe I should have you committed."

Cloudy looking tears filled her eyes. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do."

"Sara, I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that. I am sorry." He wrapped his hands around hers kissing them as he did so.

"I don't want anyone else. You are beautiful. I love your body, pregnant or not."

"I think I am losing my mind." She hiccupped.

"No, you are not losing your mind. You are pregnant, worried, scared, and you are trying whatever you think makes sense to keep your family together. It's okay."

"That's just it. It doesn't make sense. If I caught you with another woman, I would…"

"Yeah, let's not talk about what you would do. I know."

It came to him then. This wasn't about him or not trusting him. She focused the negative energy on him because he was close and safe. She knew that no matter how much she yelled and screamed, he wasn't going anywhere.

"Honey." He kept his voice low and soothing.

Her mouth was a whisper in his neck. "I am sorry."

"Ssh. I just want you to tell me what is wrong. What's really wrong?"

She cried for nearly an hour and he didn't move. He held her close and kissed her hair. Told her that he loved her, and he wasn't going to leave. She could tell him anything. She was safe. No one would hurt her ever again. He would protect her. They were okay. They were a family.

Finally, she lifted her head and peered at him with puffy eyes that took years off that made her look like a teenager. "I haven't told my mother about Hannah."

OOOOOOOOO

He flipped through the sheets of cheap white paper that Sara had printed out for him. Notes from her mother. Sounded like a James Patterson novel.

His eyes scanned the black taking in the occasional graphic. A heart here. A smiley face there. Always a pink heart at the bottom followed by "I love you to pieces."

He didn't know much about Sara's mother. The text said she was smart, still had a thirst for knowledge.

"George W. is waving the prevailing wage for hurricane contractors. What is the prevailing wage, I wonder? Doesn't seem fair to an area that's already going through financial hardships."

She was a mother through and through.

"I hope you are eating enough. I had hoped adulthood would fill you out but it doesn't seem to have done the trick so maybe babies will do it."

"Dearheart, I know you love your job and that's a gift from God. I hope that you are getting enough sleep and eating enough. I do so want some grandbabies, and if you don't take care of yourself, well, that might not happen."

"Well that Nick fellow sounds like just a gem. Does he have a girlfriend?"

"I sent you cookies and a dry mix of the cider you like."

"The moonbeam crystals will cleanse your aura. Not that I know much about your aura because I haven't seen you in three months. What's a poor mother to do?"

"I can tell by the sound of your voice and the tenor of your words that your Mr. Grissom has a hold on your heart. Sara, dearest, forgive an old woman that wants grandchildren and a son in law to fatten up, but Mr. Grissom is what? Close to fifty now. He's never been married and has no children. I don't need to stars or the spirit guides to tell me that there is little hope for you and this man. That is my common sense, mother wit speaking. I have only a tenuous grasp on your Grissom. I know he loves you, but is it enough?"

"Love you to pieces, Heartflowe."

Two messages that Sara had not responded to. One from the previous Friday and one from yesterday.

"I am worried. I haven't spoken to you in two weeks and I get the impression that you are avoiding me. I can't imagine what would be so terrible that you have to avoid me. I am your mother. The mother who loves and would do anything for you. There is nothing so terrible that you can't share with me. After all I put you through. Staying with your father when I should have left. Please tell me what has happened. Please call."

"I read your cards last night. It was difficult with you so far away and my being so close. It seems that you are safe and happy. Very happy. I suppose I will do what all parents must do from time to time. I will back off."

He looked up from the papers and put a warm hand on her belly. Hannah kicked. Sara jumped a little.

"She loves you very much." Grissom said finally. "Why didn't you tell me that you talk to her? I just assumed. You know what I assumed."

Sara nodded. "That she was in prison."

"That and that you didn't talk to her. Where is she?"

"Right outside of Palm Beach. She has a little spiritual shop. She went to jail for a year. Half way house and counseling for another two years."

"She sounds wonderful." He waved the papers.

"She is."

"Why haven't you told her?"

Sara shrugged. "I think that over the last decade I got my mom back. We spent so much time in survival mode that I lost that. We lost it. But now she sends me cookies and worries about me sleeping enough."

A smile played across Grissom face. "Worried that you were wasting your time on me."

"Yeah."

"So we should see her. She needs to see the whites of my eyes so to speak. In her case, the shade of my aura."

It was Sara's turn to smile. "I know she sounds…"

"My aunt puts a curse on my cousin every year. Well that and the evil eye. We can't pick our family, just love them."

The swelling was receding around her eyes, and she was calm and peaceful. He took her face in his hands.

"Feel better."

"Yes."

Eighteen years later

Hannah looked from one page to another. Her father was typing furiously on his laptop. He was blogging. All the PTA Dads had committed to a year of blogging in order to connect with their inner selves and thus their children.

He had grumbled, but he taken to it like he did everything else. Effortlessly

"Dad?"

"Hmm."

"This says you got married October 31 the year I was born. We better get the right one, Cambridge isn't going to like any bastard children," she joked. "How will I ever get invited to tea at the palace?"

He hands never stopped moving. "That's right, dear. We didn't get married until right before you were born."

"What!"

Blue eyes met blue. "You knew that."

"I so did not."

"Um. Okay."

"What was that about? Waiting so late?"

"Um."

Sara voice came from the laundry room. "Yeah Gil, what were you waiting on?"

"The right time. The right ring."

"The right birthing room?" Hannah said easily.

He wagged a finger at his daughter. "That mouth is why we still get emails from teachers."

"She got it honest." Sara said sweeping into the living room trailing mud over the floor with her bare feet.

"Sara! I just cleaned the floors." Grissom sputtered.

She took the paper towel her daughter offered. "Sorry, honey. I tried to get it all off. And to think you didn't want domestic bliss."

Hannah looked from one parent to the other. "So you guys had a shot gun wedding?"

"Shot gun crystal. Your Grammy said she couldn't come home with me if I didn't marry her."

"She did not say that, Gil."

"Might as well have…"

"There was that card and those spooky friends of hers." He replied ominously. Hannah giggled at her father's raised eyebrows.

"They were college professors and their spouses. They were not spooky."

"I am a professor's wife, and I am pretty spooky." Grissom replied laughing at his own joke.

"Mom, weren't you too old for Grammy to tell you what to do?"

Sara snorted and concentrated on cleaning her toes. "Spoken like the young. What do you think your father would do if you came home pregnant and unmarried? I don't care if you are 45."

"I would so not do that!" Hannah's voice squeaked a little.

"Nope. Your grandmother made a very good point. If he wanted me so much then he should have married me. We had nothing but spit and an umbilical tying us together. "

"But what about me?" Hannah whined.

"What about you? Your dad didn't have to marry me to be a good father."

"Daddy, you were just going to let me live with the Witches of Eastwick? I would be so scarred."

"I did what I was supposed to do." Grissom replied.

"Why did it take you so long?" Hannah wanted to know.

"I had issues, honey. Bachelor that long. I still had growing up to do."

"You did?" The student visa paperwork was now forgotten.

"Hannah, honey, I hope that you have better sense than your mother. Fall in love with someone your own age who's not a curmudgeon and has basic social skills."

"I plan to fall in love with a man who is exactly like you." Hannah was certain. She flitted across the room and planted a kiss on her fathers white beard.

"No one could treat you better." Sara added tenderly.

"I waited too long…" Grissom wondered what he would do with his daughter in another country.

Sara sat on her daughter's bed. "Got everything done?"

"Yep, mailing it tomorrow." Hannah said.

"Good. I am very proud of you for doing this all yourself."

"Didn't you do all your stuff yourself?"

"I had to. You didn't."

"Yeah I guess you are right."

"Honey, your father, this is very hard on him."

Hannah sat up straight dropping the magazine she had been holding. "Me going to England? Well maybe going to England."

"You'll get in. You're Gil Grissom's kid."

"And Sara Grissom's kid."

"There is that." The two brunettes smiled at one another for a few seconds.

"You changed your father's life." Sara blurted. "Honey, you changed his life. He did things he would have never done before you. He took chances. He lived his dreams. You, Hannah Maria, changed him."

"I thought you changed him." Hannah said softly.

"I had something to do with it and who knows, he might have come around but you. He was giddy when he found out about you. He smiled all the time. He took better care of himself. He was living for more than himself."

"Should I not go?"

Sara shook her head. "No. He wants you to go. He worked so hard so you could live your every dream. I have been looking online and maybe… Maybe we could rent a place - not in Cambridge but maybe in London or maybe we could spend more time at the vineyard. He just needs to be closer to you."

"It's only seven hours by plane."

"Doesn't matter. He can't get a handle on you being in a different country. I just don't want you to think we are hovering." Sara sighed. "Even though we are."

"Mom, you and Daddy in the same country. Well, that would be cool. What about the brat? I mean how you going to work this?"

"Well, I was thinking we might home school, and he's doing so well with the fencing. There are a couple of European masters that have expressed an interest."

"We won't be there all the time, just part of the time."

"If you tell squirt I said this I will deny it, but it will be cool doing stuff together. Europe will be good for him, the burgeoning Olympic medalist."

"You sure? I mean you can say no."

"I am sure, Mommy."

Gil Grissom watched his them hug and murmur words he could not hear. He left to tell Noah.