A/N: Short, very short. But the sentiment in the chapter isn't really in what I wrote; it's in the song. To get the true effect of this chapter, listen to the song. It's A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton.

Chapter 48- A Thousand Miles

"Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm homebound"

Sara left the crime lab and started walking home. Even though it was a good hour-long walk, it let her clear her head and think about things. She had walked home every day since she had come back to work. She joked that it was because she didn't want to sit in traffic, but the real reason was just that she wanted to be alone.

"Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowds"

She ignored everyone who passed and just kept walking, pushing her way through the people bustling on by. She looked at them and wanted to cry, knowing that none of them even knew that a fantastic man was gone. The brightest light she had ever known in this world had been snuffed out before his time, and a fraction of the world knew about it. She wanted to shout from the rooftops how much this world would miss him now that he was gone, but she didn't, for she knew they would never understand.

"And I need you
And I miss you"

She needed him. She needed him to be near her, to hold her, to love her. She missed his arms around her, his voice soothing her. She needed him to live. He was the air that she breathed, the food she ate, the water she drank. He was what woke her up in the morning for work, and what woke her up in the middle of the night, screaming and shaking from nightmares. He was everything she had ever needed, and that would never change.

"And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?"

She wanted time to be over with. She wanted the seconds, the minutes, the hours, days, years she would have to live without him to be over. To be done. So she could be with him again. So she could kiss him and hug him and just...touch him.

"Cuz you'd know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
Tonight"

God, what she would give to see him just once more. What she would give to be able to see his chocolate eyes smiling at her. She would honestly give all her earthly possessions to hear him say that he loves her once more. She would give everything just to feel his arms around her. She would gladly give up her life to be with him.

"It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder if you ever think of me"

Did he miss her as much as she missed him? She often wondered that. Wherever he was, was he as heartbroken as she was? Did he sit in Heaven (for he was surely not in Hell) and think about her, and miss her? Was he in Valhalla at this very moment wondering what she was doing, wondering if she missed him? She liked to think that he did, because she missed him so badly that it was almost like a physical aching.

"Cuz everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your precious memory"

She needed him. Oh, God, she needed him. Her life was so wrong without him. It was as if someone had smashed her life to pieces and everyone expected her to glue it back together, but half of it was gone. She just…couldn't. Sure, she knew that no one really expected her to be able to just pick up the pieces like that, but they expected her to go on. She was the strong one, she was the one who was always able to make things right again. But this...she didn't think anything could fix his. Nothing could make her heart whole again.

"And I need you
And I miss you"

The raw needing that she felt tore her up inside. She had never felt such need for anything or anyone in her life. She needed him to breathe…God, she needed him to simply exist. She was nothing without him, and without him she would just fade away.

"And now I wonder"

How many times had she wondered? How many times had she hoped and prayed that wherever Greg was, she'd go too? She had not done all good things in her life. She had not been a good person. She knew that she did not deserve whatever paradise Greg was in right now, but she could only pray that she'd go there anyway.

"If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
Cuz you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
Tonight"

She paused in her walking and looked up at the sky. She couldn't see any stars. Not that there were any you could normally see this time of day, but even besides that, the smog and pollution from the city blocked her view.

She wished she could see the stars. Greg had told her once that if she would look up at the stars, she's see him, and they'd be together, through the stars. She wished this was true. If she could see him, through the stars, maybe her life would be different somehow. Maybe she wouldn't feel so lost.

"And I, I don't want to let you know
I, I drown in your memory"

He had told her once that he wanted her to be happy, even after he was gone. That he didn't want her to dwell on it; he wanted her to move on. How could she move on? He was all she ever thought about. He lived in her mind like a little nomad who had set up a permanent camp.

She smiled vaguely at that similie, then frowned as she wondered if she was going crazy. Maybe she was...but if she was, it was only because she missed him so much.

She walked on, mind automatically going back to the thoughts of "moving on". She knew she couldn't...it would be liked letting go of a part of her most vital self.

"And I, I don't want to let this go
I, I don't"

Letting go and moving on meant that she had to forget him, and she could never, ever do that. If she ever did that, forgot even for a minute about the most wonderful man in the world, then she would never forgive herself. It may get easier as they all said, sure, but if she ever forgot about Greg, she would be lost forever.

"Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm homebound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowds"

She kept walking, toward the house that had once been a home. But now it was just a cold, empty place, like her life without him. It could never be her home again; he was her home.

"And I still need you
And I still miss you"

She needed him; she missed him; these things would never change. And a large part of her didn't want them to.

"And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
Cuz you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
Cuz you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
If I could just hold you
Tonight"