Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or its characters.
A/N: This is a special chapter that will revolve around the oh-so loved, Cloud! His feelings and thoughts will be expressed more in this chapter since I haven't been able to convey him clearly enough in the previous chapters.
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04. Cloud
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After the surprise attack from the Nobodies the other day, everyone was still on edge. It had been quite a while since a Nobody that strong had taken refuge in Hallow Bastion, and it was kind of strange that it had suddenly appeared now than of all other times. But maybe that was also the reason why it had chosen that time. No one was prepared for it, not even Cloud. He had been taking a stroll around town, his thoughts occupied by the past and present until screams of fright filled his ears. His first thought was Aerith. Was she safe? Was she out of harm's way?
It surprised him that Aerith was not with Leon during the fight. But when he saw Tifa collapsed against the wall he felt everything shatter. Holding her unusually small form in his arms, he made sure she was alright. It was strange… he never noticed how small her shoulders were. She always seemed so strong, and there were very few times he had ever seen her cry or flinch in pain. But each time she did, it pained him. He knew that deep in her heart, she loved him. Yet, he still found himself clinging onto the affections he had for Aerith, and wondered if he was making the right choice. He loved Aerith- Tifa as well. And his love for them both confused and hurt him.
When Yuffie rushed in hurriedly and announced that she and Aerith had separated, he didn't know whether he should've gone or stayed. In the end, he watched helplessly as Leon went after Aerith. Did this mean… that Cloud had given up?
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"How is she?" Cloud asked Merlin when he closed the door to her room. Merlin gave him a reassuring smile and replied, "She's alright, but a good rest will do her some good." After Merlin left, Cloud quietly entered Tifa's room and sat down on a chair next to her bed. Looking at her sleeping face now, she seemed so much at peace as she breathed silently. Small fresh scars could faintly be seen from her pale skin. She had never looked so fragile to Cloud before.
After sitting by her side quietly, Cloud stood and walked to the door, but stopped at the sound of Tifa's voice. "…Why do you make everything so hard?" she asked softly. Slightly turning around, Cloud faced Tifa. She was now sitting up and staring him with her sad eyes, waiting for an answer. When he remained quiet, which wasn't the first time, she sighed. "You and Leon are quite the same when it comes to things like this." Then she asked, almost hesitantly, "Don't you want her to know?"
Cloud found himself staring at her. She looked so sad and melancholy, almost lost in thought. Why would this woman care so much about Cloud and Aerith's relationship when she so desperately loved him too?
"I don't mind if she doesn't know." Replied Cloud.
"Even if you break?"
Cloud didn't reply. Almost as if she grew frustrated with him, Tifa said harshly, "Why do you and Leon have to be so lonesome? It's because you're like this that you lose so many opportunities!"
After a moment of silence, Cloud approached the door leading out to the hallway and only said, "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you today." And closed the door behind him. Leaning his back against it, he could hear muffled sounds from her room. As quiet as he could, he walked out the hallway and to the front door. Yuffie, who was sitting in the living room a little while ago, was now standing in front of the door. She looked more than a bit disappointed.
"You're just gonna leave her?" she asked, as if testing him.
"I'm leaving." Cloud said, not in the mood to be polite.
Yuffie only pouted her lips and folded her arms indignantly. "I don't ever remember you being this cruel to her. She'll be lonely if you leave."
"You're already here, she won't be lonely."
"Tell me Cloud, do you think that's gonna make any difference?"
Cloud was getting irritated now. For some reason, everyone suddenly seemed to be against him and making him do things that he didn't want to do and tell him things he didn't want to hear. He wanted to be alone, regardless of whether everyone's doing these things for his own good or not. When he stayed quiet Yuffie gave him an angry look and stepped out of the way. Surprisingly, she said nothing as Cloud walked out the door.
A bit frustrated at the moment, Cloud walked swiftly. To where he walked, he didn't know himself. But he wanted to get away from everything now, away from everyone. He didn't care where, just anywhere but here. When he turned a corner, he suddenly came face to face with someone in pink. The girl gasped, and he was taken by surprise as well.
"Oh, Cloud, you startled me." The girl was Aerith. She appeared well considering the scare everyone had after the surprise onslaught from the Nobodies.
"What are you doing here?" Cloud asked.
"I was on my way to see Tifa." She replied. "And where are you going?"
Silence. As usual, he found himself staring at the ground instead of her eyes. She bent down to peer at his face. "Are you worried about something?"
"No…"
"Then why so solemn?"
"I just…"
"You're doing it again."
"…Sorry."
Aerith giggled and said, "You worry too much Cloud. It wouldn't hurt to tell someone, would it?"
"No," began Cloud. "But…"
Noticing that their conversation was going to take longer than expected, Aerith suggested, "Let's go talk somewhere else." Her small hand suddenly enclosed around Cloud's, and he felt her gentle tug as she led him to the bailey. Once they reached the bailey, Aerith let go of his hand and the warmth he felt before dissolved.
"We might not be bothered here." Aerith said, carefree as ever. She leaned on the ledge. The wind softly blew through her hair causing it to blow against her slender shoulders. Just being with her made Cloud feel a little bit better, but the heavy weight of pain burdened him still. Aerith turned to him. "How are you feeling?" she asked, leaning her head to the side a little. "Did you want to be alone?"
Cloud shook his head. "No, it's just… I don't really know how to feel right now." He leaned his weight against the wall. "There are some things that I need to clear right now. Only thing is, I'm not sure how." Aerith listened quietly as Cloud continued, "Sometimes I wonder what it is that makes me hesitate so much. And I hate myself for it." He stopped as his own thoughts disturbed his mind. Aerith leaned in and looked into his eyes, her own gentle eyes soothing him.
"Did something happen?" she asked, her soothing eyes turning sad. Cloud didn't know if he should tell her. He didn't want her to be depressed because of his own problems. That's the last thing he wanted to do to. Lifting his head a little, he said quietly, "It's nothing you should be concerned about."
She gave a small sigh, and put a hand on her hip with the other to her chin. "You and Leon have been awfully quiet lately." She said, looking concerned. "Are you sure there's nothing I can help you with?" Cloud slightly shook his head, like that of a little boy. Aerith seemed unconvinced, but gave him a smile. "I'm sure that everything will turn out alright for you in the end. But if it's not alright, it isn't the end."
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Cloud leaned his weight against a wall in the marketplace. Talking to Aerith was what he needed to keep his mind straight- or so he thought. Something stirred inside of him, and he didn't know why. Tifa was also still on his mind. She had sounded so miserable and desperate when they spoke earlier. The sound of her voice still haunted Cloud's ears. Now, he was stuck at a dead end. There was no doubt in his heart that Aerith meant something to him- Tifa was different. It was a feeling Cloud felt for Tifa that he often confused himself with. Was it genuine love he felt for her… or friendly love?
Heavy footsteps approached and Cloud looked up. Leon stopped where he was, looking back at Cloud, his face expressionless. However, there was a hint of emotion in them. "What is it?" Cloud asked, putting his weight back on his two feet. He wasn't really in the mood to talk. "I only came on a request from Aerith." Leon said.
"…Really?"
"She's worried about you."
"That's none of your concern."
"You're probably right, but that's not how I see it."
Cloud glanced at Leon, a bit irritated. He knew how Leon felt. If anyone was troubling Aerith, it became their business too. This also wasn't the first time they've got on the other's nerves over Aerith despite the fact that they considered each other friends- if that was the right word. Leon spoke again, sounding depressed, "I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to protect Tifa..."
Leon looked away, his eyes sad and hopeless. He had just let down a friend. Anyone would feel the same. Cloud didn't know what to say, because in his heart it wasn't just 'alright' to him for Tifa to get hurt. It wasn't alright at all. However, no words came to mind.
"Weren't you the one who said not to make Aerith worry?" Leon shot out, sounding a bit angry. "She doesn't seem very happy."
Cloud glared at him. "You don't know anything." Brushing Leon aside, he walked towards the borough. He wanted to be alone. "You're just going to walk away?" Leon asked, though he appeared to have no intention of stopping Cloud. Cloud stopped in his tracks for a second, looking hesitant. He seemed to want to say something, but clenched his fists and walked up the stairs to the borough. If Aerith was worried, what was he supposed to do about it? Or was he just trying to avoid being the one who ends up cleaning the mess? Yes, that was probably it. As always, he felt like a coward. Always afraid to face his problems… afraid to show his feelings.
He walked up the steps to the bailey and stared at the large gorge bellow. Swarms of heartless once took refuge in the gorge, but they were eliminated by the keyblade master- Sora. There was something about that kid that Cloud envied. Of all people, the keyblade chose a kid who hasn't even fully understood the different words. Cloud was not disappointed, but he did wonder what it was that attracted the keyblade to Sora. After meeting him, Cloud realized that Sora had special characteristics that he lacked… and he envied him for that.
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A/N: I'm in love with Aerith's eyes… can you tell? Haha. I just love her gentleness and heartwarming smiles! Her eyes also speak for themselves.
