After All This Time
Disclaimer: We own nothing but our imaginations. This chapter is dedicated to Annie, for pulling out the cattle prod and threatening us on a daily basis for this next chapter!
Chapter 6: Confessions
Scarlett put the lid of the box carefully on the table before she looked inside, being almost afraid of what she would find. Gathering her courage around her, she looked and found two things stored in the box, and knew without looking any further that she had found the missing scrapbook her best friend, Lady Jaye, had given herself and Duke at their last engagement party. The engagement party where Flint had taken the candid shot she had found slipped under Duke's saddle. She picked up the small jewelry box and very slowly opened the lid to find what would have been their wedding bands. They were beautiful, two silver bands, twisted into Celtic knots, the intricate pattern intertwining within itself. Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes as she thought about the day one of those rings should have been lovingly placed upon her hand, a day that had never happened.
She placed the ring box to the side and opened the front cover of the scrapbook and read, "No two people could be more suited to each other, all my love, Allie."
The first page of the book was a photograph of the G.I. Joe team as it had first begun. She and Duke were standing side by side. She smiled at how young she looked compared to now, although hardly five years had passed since the photo had been taken. Shauna began turning the pages in the book. The pictures centered on her and Duke, with the first few pages containing mostly group shots of the team as a whole or the two of them with certain friends from the team. It seemed that even before they were a couple they were always together. Suddenly the theme of the pictures changed, now exclusively focusing on the two of them as a couple. There were movie stubs, programs from a few museums and plays they had seen in their many travels and photographs she hadn't even remembered having taken, being so wrapped up in the man around her. The last few pages of pictures and memorabilia dealt with their engagement, she was always in his arms, either laughing at some comment someone had made to them, kissing her fiancé, or more often than not, some combination. Tears were flowing rapidly now. Why had he kept all this? Why would he want to be reminded of their past? Of her? He hated her, or at least she had thought he had until last night. She was even more unsure of his feelings now. What if there was still some part of him that loved her? Would it be enough? They couldn't go back but could they go forward? Could they start over?
Duke wrestled Donas out of his stall; the damn horse was determined to give him a hard time, as if he knew his master had fought with the one person the horse was fond of. Duke started to brush Donas with firm, quick strokes. The horse turned to nip at Duke and he realized he had been taking his anger out on the horse. He sighed and leaned against the horse.
"I'm sorry, boy. I just don't understand her, I'm not sure I ever did or ever will." He laughed. "I used to think that was part of the fun, I don't think so any more."
Donas whinnied at him, as if to say he was an idiot, seemingly voicing Duke's own thoughts, 'You coward, if you love her, does it really matter that you won't always understand her? If you really loved her, you'd march back in there and fight for her, not stand out in the barn, talking to a damn horse as if he was going to give you the answers you're looking for. There's only one person who can give you those answers, and she's not here, so go find her.'
"You know, you're right." And giving Donas one last pat he put the brushes away and turned to go find her.
Duke walked into the kitchen and found no evidence that she was awake yet. He continued down the hall, found her door open but she wasn't there. He turned and went back up the hall, figuring she would be in the meeting room or had perhaps decided upon a morning workout. He stopped suddenly as he noticed that the door to his library was open a fraction. The library was his sacred place, his one and only retreat, and he would never forget to close the door. He clenched and unclenched his hands in anger. As Duke silently pushed the door open further and found her seated on the couch, his initial anger at having his private space violated disappeared as a single tear drop escaped from her eye to run down her face. He dropped the hat he had forgotten he was holding and she looked up to meet his shocked gaze with one of her own. He stepped forward instinctively to comfort her and then stopped; unsure if he had that right any more, and even if he did, if comfort from him would be welcome. He stepped back, leaning against the doorframe and watched her as an uncomfortable silence descended upon them, neither one of them knowing what to say.
She looked up; silent tears streaming freely down her face, "Why?" she whispered, her voice rough with emotion.
"It was all I had left." He whispered back softly, "It was all I had left of you and I couldn't let it go."
She shook her head back and forth, confused, "I thought you hated me?"
'Hate you Shauna?' he questioned himself silently as he stood up straight. "No, Shauna, I never hated you. I was angry with you ." he paused, finally ready to admit this out loud, ".and jealous, but I never hated you, I couldn't, I loved you too much."
His eyes were filled with emotion but she couldn't decide if the emotion was hope or despair. "You loved me, or are you still in love with me?"
He took a deep breath and held it for a long moment, "Yes." he finally answered, "I am still in love with you. That's not something that ever changed, it's not something that ever could change."
She shook her head, "Why, Conrad, why? Why didn't you ever tell me?"
He turned to her, "You hated me; you made that abundantly clear, and I couldn't stand causing you pain any longer."
She looked up at him, saw tears now glinting in his eyes, and felt something shift and give way inside her, "I never hated you. I hated what we had become; I hated the way we couldn't agree on anything! We worked when we were with Joe but I was afraid, Conrad. I didn't know if we could work outside of Joe. But we never had the chance to find out, did we? We let our fear and our pride tear us apart."
He looked at her, desperately needing to know, not daring to hope yet, "Shauna, are you still in love with me?"
She sat there, taking the question in, and swallowing her pride, she ripped down the last barriers between them, met his eyes and answered, "Yes, I'm still in love with you. For the last five years I tried to convince myself that I wasn't in love with you any more, but I couldn't do it. I loved you too much, and deep down, I knew I'd always love you."
He blinked back the tears in his eyes, and went to her, dropping to his knees before her, putting his hands on her arms, "Shauna, we've wasted five damn years of our life on fear and pride. I don't want to waste another second, if you'll have me back, please tell me, tell me the walls are gone for good, please." his voice broke and one solitary tear streamed down his face.
She reached for him then, sliding down to the floor in front of him, running her trembling hands over his face before throwing her arms around him and bringing his face to meet hers for a kiss, soft and sweet, tender and mild. She pulled away and looked him straight in the eyes, "Yes, Conrad, I want you back. I want you back now, I don't want to waste any more time either. The last five years away from you have been hell; they've been more painful for me than anything I've ever been through." They reached for each other and in that embrace, all their emotions found an outlet in each other, in the passion that had always been between them, even if they had only simmered beneath the surface.
He pulled her tight against him and felt something hard and round press against his chest. He pulled back, questions again in his eyes, as his gaze followed his hand as he slipped one finger under the chain at the side of her neck and pulled her necklace out of her shirt, finding the engagement ring he had feared lost all these years. "How? I searched for it, for days after you threw it at me. When I couldn't find it I took it as a sign that we weren't meant to be together."
"And you picked then, of all times, to start believing in signs?" she asked incredulously. They both grinned and started to laugh; she brought her hand up to his face to once more guide his lips to hers. Their lips brushed each other's as a loud crash sounded around them.
"BOOM!" Duke threw her the floor and covered her with his body as men and debris suddenly came crashing into the room, weapons blazing. Duke looked helplessly around the room; all the exits were blocked. "The hallway entrance!" he shouted to her as they jumped up and engaged in the fight. "It's the closest exit!"
Duke wrestled with a soldier for his gun but the man's partners joined the fight and Duke was soon dangerously outnumbered. Scarlett looked helplessly on as she fought her own battle with three more soldiers. The men were focusing on Duke; if she could only take out one of these men she would have an opening!
As if one of the enemy soldiers could read her mind, he leveled his gun at her and fired. She screamed and went down, not moving.
Duke turned in time to see her fall; "NO!" he had just found her again. Life could not be so cruel as to take her away! A desperate energy filled him as he took down two of the soldiers surrounding him. One of the soldiers Scarlett had been fighting picked her up, threw her over his shoulder and stepped through the window and onto the waiting chopper. The blood on the floor where her body had lain terrified him. She hadn't moved, not even when the man had tossed her over his shoulder. Duke had taken out all but one man; they circled each other, each searching for a weakness to exploit. Duke's temporary panic gave his opponent the opportunity he needed. The man reached for his sidearm, fired, and watched as Duke fell into the bookcase, bringing the structure down on top of him.
Duke's opponent signaled the others, "He's taken care of. Is the woman secured in the chopper?"
"Yes, sir!"
"Then lets get the hell back to base."
The enemy soldiers left as suddenly as they had arrived.
Duke woke to pain and darkness. He crawled from underneath the bookcase and looked at the destruction surrounding him, the house was still and silent. She was gone.
Disclaimer: We own nothing but our imaginations. This chapter is dedicated to Annie, for pulling out the cattle prod and threatening us on a daily basis for this next chapter!
Chapter 6: Confessions
Scarlett put the lid of the box carefully on the table before she looked inside, being almost afraid of what she would find. Gathering her courage around her, she looked and found two things stored in the box, and knew without looking any further that she had found the missing scrapbook her best friend, Lady Jaye, had given herself and Duke at their last engagement party. The engagement party where Flint had taken the candid shot she had found slipped under Duke's saddle. She picked up the small jewelry box and very slowly opened the lid to find what would have been their wedding bands. They were beautiful, two silver bands, twisted into Celtic knots, the intricate pattern intertwining within itself. Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes as she thought about the day one of those rings should have been lovingly placed upon her hand, a day that had never happened.
She placed the ring box to the side and opened the front cover of the scrapbook and read, "No two people could be more suited to each other, all my love, Allie."
The first page of the book was a photograph of the G.I. Joe team as it had first begun. She and Duke were standing side by side. She smiled at how young she looked compared to now, although hardly five years had passed since the photo had been taken. Shauna began turning the pages in the book. The pictures centered on her and Duke, with the first few pages containing mostly group shots of the team as a whole or the two of them with certain friends from the team. It seemed that even before they were a couple they were always together. Suddenly the theme of the pictures changed, now exclusively focusing on the two of them as a couple. There were movie stubs, programs from a few museums and plays they had seen in their many travels and photographs she hadn't even remembered having taken, being so wrapped up in the man around her. The last few pages of pictures and memorabilia dealt with their engagement, she was always in his arms, either laughing at some comment someone had made to them, kissing her fiancé, or more often than not, some combination. Tears were flowing rapidly now. Why had he kept all this? Why would he want to be reminded of their past? Of her? He hated her, or at least she had thought he had until last night. She was even more unsure of his feelings now. What if there was still some part of him that loved her? Would it be enough? They couldn't go back but could they go forward? Could they start over?
Duke wrestled Donas out of his stall; the damn horse was determined to give him a hard time, as if he knew his master had fought with the one person the horse was fond of. Duke started to brush Donas with firm, quick strokes. The horse turned to nip at Duke and he realized he had been taking his anger out on the horse. He sighed and leaned against the horse.
"I'm sorry, boy. I just don't understand her, I'm not sure I ever did or ever will." He laughed. "I used to think that was part of the fun, I don't think so any more."
Donas whinnied at him, as if to say he was an idiot, seemingly voicing Duke's own thoughts, 'You coward, if you love her, does it really matter that you won't always understand her? If you really loved her, you'd march back in there and fight for her, not stand out in the barn, talking to a damn horse as if he was going to give you the answers you're looking for. There's only one person who can give you those answers, and she's not here, so go find her.'
"You know, you're right." And giving Donas one last pat he put the brushes away and turned to go find her.
Duke walked into the kitchen and found no evidence that she was awake yet. He continued down the hall, found her door open but she wasn't there. He turned and went back up the hall, figuring she would be in the meeting room or had perhaps decided upon a morning workout. He stopped suddenly as he noticed that the door to his library was open a fraction. The library was his sacred place, his one and only retreat, and he would never forget to close the door. He clenched and unclenched his hands in anger. As Duke silently pushed the door open further and found her seated on the couch, his initial anger at having his private space violated disappeared as a single tear drop escaped from her eye to run down her face. He dropped the hat he had forgotten he was holding and she looked up to meet his shocked gaze with one of her own. He stepped forward instinctively to comfort her and then stopped; unsure if he had that right any more, and even if he did, if comfort from him would be welcome. He stepped back, leaning against the doorframe and watched her as an uncomfortable silence descended upon them, neither one of them knowing what to say.
She looked up; silent tears streaming freely down her face, "Why?" she whispered, her voice rough with emotion.
"It was all I had left." He whispered back softly, "It was all I had left of you and I couldn't let it go."
She shook her head back and forth, confused, "I thought you hated me?"
'Hate you Shauna?' he questioned himself silently as he stood up straight. "No, Shauna, I never hated you. I was angry with you ." he paused, finally ready to admit this out loud, ".and jealous, but I never hated you, I couldn't, I loved you too much."
His eyes were filled with emotion but she couldn't decide if the emotion was hope or despair. "You loved me, or are you still in love with me?"
He took a deep breath and held it for a long moment, "Yes." he finally answered, "I am still in love with you. That's not something that ever changed, it's not something that ever could change."
She shook her head, "Why, Conrad, why? Why didn't you ever tell me?"
He turned to her, "You hated me; you made that abundantly clear, and I couldn't stand causing you pain any longer."
She looked up at him, saw tears now glinting in his eyes, and felt something shift and give way inside her, "I never hated you. I hated what we had become; I hated the way we couldn't agree on anything! We worked when we were with Joe but I was afraid, Conrad. I didn't know if we could work outside of Joe. But we never had the chance to find out, did we? We let our fear and our pride tear us apart."
He looked at her, desperately needing to know, not daring to hope yet, "Shauna, are you still in love with me?"
She sat there, taking the question in, and swallowing her pride, she ripped down the last barriers between them, met his eyes and answered, "Yes, I'm still in love with you. For the last five years I tried to convince myself that I wasn't in love with you any more, but I couldn't do it. I loved you too much, and deep down, I knew I'd always love you."
He blinked back the tears in his eyes, and went to her, dropping to his knees before her, putting his hands on her arms, "Shauna, we've wasted five damn years of our life on fear and pride. I don't want to waste another second, if you'll have me back, please tell me, tell me the walls are gone for good, please." his voice broke and one solitary tear streamed down his face.
She reached for him then, sliding down to the floor in front of him, running her trembling hands over his face before throwing her arms around him and bringing his face to meet hers for a kiss, soft and sweet, tender and mild. She pulled away and looked him straight in the eyes, "Yes, Conrad, I want you back. I want you back now, I don't want to waste any more time either. The last five years away from you have been hell; they've been more painful for me than anything I've ever been through." They reached for each other and in that embrace, all their emotions found an outlet in each other, in the passion that had always been between them, even if they had only simmered beneath the surface.
He pulled her tight against him and felt something hard and round press against his chest. He pulled back, questions again in his eyes, as his gaze followed his hand as he slipped one finger under the chain at the side of her neck and pulled her necklace out of her shirt, finding the engagement ring he had feared lost all these years. "How? I searched for it, for days after you threw it at me. When I couldn't find it I took it as a sign that we weren't meant to be together."
"And you picked then, of all times, to start believing in signs?" she asked incredulously. They both grinned and started to laugh; she brought her hand up to his face to once more guide his lips to hers. Their lips brushed each other's as a loud crash sounded around them.
"BOOM!" Duke threw her the floor and covered her with his body as men and debris suddenly came crashing into the room, weapons blazing. Duke looked helplessly around the room; all the exits were blocked. "The hallway entrance!" he shouted to her as they jumped up and engaged in the fight. "It's the closest exit!"
Duke wrestled with a soldier for his gun but the man's partners joined the fight and Duke was soon dangerously outnumbered. Scarlett looked helplessly on as she fought her own battle with three more soldiers. The men were focusing on Duke; if she could only take out one of these men she would have an opening!
As if one of the enemy soldiers could read her mind, he leveled his gun at her and fired. She screamed and went down, not moving.
Duke turned in time to see her fall; "NO!" he had just found her again. Life could not be so cruel as to take her away! A desperate energy filled him as he took down two of the soldiers surrounding him. One of the soldiers Scarlett had been fighting picked her up, threw her over his shoulder and stepped through the window and onto the waiting chopper. The blood on the floor where her body had lain terrified him. She hadn't moved, not even when the man had tossed her over his shoulder. Duke had taken out all but one man; they circled each other, each searching for a weakness to exploit. Duke's temporary panic gave his opponent the opportunity he needed. The man reached for his sidearm, fired, and watched as Duke fell into the bookcase, bringing the structure down on top of him.
Duke's opponent signaled the others, "He's taken care of. Is the woman secured in the chopper?"
"Yes, sir!"
"Then lets get the hell back to base."
The enemy soldiers left as suddenly as they had arrived.
Duke woke to pain and darkness. He crawled from underneath the bookcase and looked at the destruction surrounding him, the house was still and silent. She was gone.