Chapter Nineteen

Truth

"You have been avoiding me." He said.

I did not answer. My jaw had gone slack, my eyes glazed over. How had he found me?

"I told you, I have much to tell you."

I didn't know how exactly I had come to the glade. It was all so dreamlike, he had helped me to dismount, had led me and Talorta in the woods, had sat me down in front of him. He handed me a wooden cup that had something hot in it and told me to drink, so I did. I was shaking as I did so, a dull fear fogging my mind and making me unable to think clearly.

Caden sank down wearily across from me, his old features forming the slightest grimace as he did so. He was old, very old. His staff was laid out neatly next to him.

"How did you find me?" I asked, my words slurring a little as I did so.

He shrugged, "It was meant to be."

The tea-like drink was starting to clear my mind, my shaking ceased. "Why do you want me?"

"Want you?" He paused, looking up into my face. "I do not want you. Want is a term used when someone has an the urge to own something that is not vital. No, I do not want you. Shall we say, that you were given to me as a specific quest?"

"A quest?" I asked slowly.

"That's right."

"You speak in riddles." I said sharply... my head hurt. "Why did you look like my brother?"

"I look like your brother? He must be terribly old."

Why was he playing with me? Didn't he know it was hard enough to just sit and talk with him? I wanted to run from him screaming in terror. Talking was the only thing that was keeping me calm. And damn if I cared whether or not I was speaking politely to him.

"You're very..."

"Coy? Witty?"

"A smart mouth was more of what I was looking for." He sipped his tea though I did see a shadow of a smile pass over his weather-worn face. All right, this was good. I was driving back my fear. Actually, I wasn't. Caden was. It was like...I dunno...like he realized my fear of him and was trying to make me feel at ease. Which brought me back to my original question. "Why?"

Caden sipped his tea, did not look at me right away. "I did not look like him. You only saw what you wished to see."

"What?"

"It happens to many. It is just the way I am."

"What exactly are you though?"

He had met my gaze and I felt naked...alone...insignificant as I gazed back into his depth-less eyes. They were different from that of the Elves. Elves have ageless eyes but Caden's were like looking into the dawn of time and seeing both the past and future at once. It frightened me.

"I am...Caden. I tell what needs to be told. That is all you need know of."

"What do I need to be told then?" I snapped, he was wearing down my patience. "Why did I see my brother when I looked at you?"

Caden sipped from his cup once more and then set it down on the grassy earth beside him. He sighed, "It is a long tale, one that is not necessary for what I was told to tell you."

"I think it is necessary Caden. If someone in this place knows anything about me, and your suppose to tell me about it, then I would like to know a few things...and what I asked you before was one of them."

"Well...all right." He grunted, clearly displeased at having to obey my request. "I am one of five who were sent to this...world with a purpose. Each of us has a different task...each possessing a different authority over the other. I am the least of my fellows, Caden the Green is my full name. And the head of my order is Saruman the White."

"So what exactly are you...angels?"

"I the term we prefer is, 'counsler'. But I've also been known as a wizard many a time in my life."

By the looks of him, that time span must have been pretty long. "Wizard...so can you do magic?"

"By what do you mean magic? Can I make a person disappear, no. Can I make flame for a small fire, yes, but anyone could do that."

"So what do you do?"

"I deliver messages to those who are unable to do it themselves physically and occasionally I foretell a small part of the future. A future that can be and will be decided my preceding events and therefore is liable to change."

"Well, if the events can change thus editing the future you told...can that really be considered telling the future?" I asked in confusion...this conversation was getting verrrrry deep.

"In some ways you have a point, but I do not just tell the future. I can, at times, see fate. An occurrence that will happen because it was designed to by hands we shall never be able to fathom. Fate and future are two very different things."

I nodded, I was slowly starting to get a small grasp of what he was telling me. "So...why did you give me a message from...from–my brother." I said hesitantly.

"Ah, that is something I cannot explain for you if you do not already know. But I have a feeling he wished for you to know it for a reason."

He would never know the pain that I felt in his passing. He would never know, would never see the tears I had cried. I sighed, closely my eyes briefly and then opening them once more. A light mist had drifted in over the farm, me and Talorta had gotten up early to go for a ride. I stared out over the farm, glancing at the empty pastures and deserted barns. Where had he gone? Why was there nothing left of him here? What happened? Angel's question haunted me, Do you think he's happy?

Was he happy? I still did not know. I feared death, I realized, I feared it because of what Zach's had done to my family's...to me. What we had left was an empty shell...a broken existence. One that I didn't know how to fix. One that I doubted I could ever fix. Perhaps I would forgive him one day. Perhaps the anger and terror of his passing would leave my soul. But what if that never happened? Would these questions always torment me? Would they always haunt me?

Would I never be free? How could he leave me like this? Didn't he know he had wounded me deeply, a wound that I knew would never heal. So was he happy? Was there a true paradise behind that black curtain? Was there a place that he had escaped to? Was there a place where we would be together again? Would I ever forgive him? Would he forgive me?

I had lost hope for him. I had lost my faith in him. I had stumbled, failed to be there when he needed me the most. Was I only paying back a debt? Was I only returning the deeds he had done to me? Or was I striking back with petty vengeance? Striking back in the only way I knew. The back curtain of death was horrifying to me. Could I ever love him again? Where had he gone?

Why had he forgotten me?

Caden was watching me with a clear, all knowing gaze that sent cold shivers down my spine.

"Was there anything else my brother wanted me to know?" I asked hoarsely, fighting back tears as I spoke.

Caden nodded slowly. "He wants you to know that you also will be happy when the time is right."

I will be happy? Wasn't I already happy? No...I wasn't. Faerlain was out fighting a war and I was stuck here in an ancient village playing house. Damn. Until just about now I thought I was fine. "Thank you." I whispered, my tears starting to flow despite my attempts to quiet them.

Caden nodded, paused, then hesitated. As if he had just thought of something else to say and did not want to say it. "There is more." He said slowly.

"What more? Just throw it at me, this day couldn't get any worse anyway."

"Victoria?" I turned at the sound of my name from down the road. It was Mirlaic. I blinked in surprise, rising to my feet and greeting her with a wave. "Over here!" I shouted, good, someone stable. Someone who would make me sane once more. I turned back to introduce Caden to Mirlaic... but he was gone. Talorta was looking at me expectantly, but besides him, there was no evidence that anyone but me and Talorta had ever stepped foot in the forest glade.

"Why were you on the old highway?" Mirlaic asked me once we had reach home. The walk back had been mostly silent, I had no idea what to say, and she no idea as to what to ask.

I put Talorta in his stall and fed him supper, then I retreated into the house for my own meal. I was setting the table as Mirlaic asked me this, and I paused in my task to look up at her.

"I saw the old man again."

"Oh?"

"Yes...well...it is a very long story."

"One I should like to hear." She brought a pot of steaming soup to the table, setting it down gently and then turning to look at me. "I've been worried about you. You haven't been yourself since Faerlain and Araviniel left."

No kidding.

"Things have changed. This place...these people...everything is different."

Mirlaic frowned, an expression which rarely crossed her face. "You have changed." She said softly. "Who was this man?"

I blinked, sitting down opposite of her at the table. "His name was Caden."

Well. I'm sure some of you are scratching your head in raw wonder at this startling new development. :) Now, before anyone bites my head off, Tolkien does mention that there are five Istari in Middle Earth. However, he only mentions three, Saruman, Gandalf, and Radagast. So, I decided that we needed another one so Caden came into the story. I do not believe in fortune telling and if you picked it up, neither does Caden really. Because I believe we make certain choices which result in our futures, I believe we all have a purpose, but unless we take the right path towards that purpose, then it cannot be. :)

Anyway, there is a new mystery coming up so brace yourselves:)

TO BE CONTINUED...