Chance is a word void of sense. Nothing can exist without a cause.
-Voltaire
"We've got to work between the lines," hissed Naruto.
Shikamaru simply blinked at him.
"There's someone," and here he waved vaguely, "messing with us and twisting our world,"
"Sakana?"
"Who knows? But we don't have much time. We-"
---
There was no way he could climb out of the tunnel without chakra, Sasuke thought glancing at the gleaming metal spikes lining all up and down the dirt walls, and tunneling was out of the question, as he could feel the rigidity of a steel plate under his feet. Damn Tsunade and—wait! That was it!
Sasuke's mind raced. Chakra, or life force, couldn't really be blocked, so Tsunade's seal was less a hermetic seal as it was a chakra nullifier. Chakra (and here he couldn't help but hear Sakura's voice in his head) resonated at a specific frequency, so in order to block it, a seal would have to resonate at an equal and opposite frequency. If he could get his chakra to vibrate at a different frequency, the nullifier would be useless, but if he could get it to resonate at the same frequency as the seal at a great enough amplitude...Sasuke thought back to his childhood, when Itachi had shown him how, if you play the right note on a flute, you can shatter a thin glass cup. He had said that amplifying its natural resonant frequency was what had torn the glass apart. Sasuke would do the same to the seal stopping his chakra flow.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. One of Orochimaru's first lessons had been to attune Sasuke to his own chakra flow, thus allowing him to amplify and direct it. He'd memorized it as thoroughly as he'd memorized the night his brother took away his life. He made the opposite signs now, within him. Ram, monkey, boar, horse, ram, horse, ox...
---
"The whatever-it-is is manipulating everything going on," said Naruto with more of the arm-waving, "time, space, our minds,"
"So what do we do?" asked Shikamaru, feeling hairs stand up on the back of his neck.
"What I've been doing for some time. Sneak between everything. Add a word here, take a few out there. I need your help though. I've converted Ino and all the rest of the girls, but Sasuke's the one at the most risk."
Shikamaru leaned forward to listen to Naruto's urgent whispers, nodding every now and then.
---
Sakana wiggled free of her bonds at last. She didn't have a shinobi's training, but loosening the knot had been a cinch, and she only had to wiggle ineffectively until her captors left. She rubbed her wrist and stated for the door. Now would be the time to escape, while they were busy with a distraction.
She slipped out the door just in time to see Sasuke, enveloped in crackling, blue-white light, burst out of a hole at the Syndicate members.
"Chidori Nagashi!" he yelled as the four because multi-colored blurs.
"Aoi unagi no jutsu!"
"Akai masago no jutsu!"
Sakana ducked behind a rock in a confusion of light, heaving objects and noise.
"Hayazushi no jutsu!"
"Heaving roll no jutsu!"
Suddenly, there was a cry of "Sayonara no jutsu!" and everything went silent.
---
"There'll be last scene," said Shikamaru, "and it'll be soon."
Naruto nodded, adjusting his hitai-ate nervously.
"I think he knows more than you think he does," Shikamaru continued, "We just need to get him to see the light."
Naruto nodded fiercely.
---
Three figures stood in the clearing dust, silent and immobile. Sakana coughed, and could barely make out Sasuke and two others, holding up a third. All were covered in such a thick layer of grime that identity would have been impossible had it not been for Sasuke's smooth and lofty brows of finest ivory, his fine and proportionately aquiline nose, his firm Gregorian mouth and oh! those noble, jetty orbs that could send a million fangirls to their crusading death.
Suddenly, the Syndicate seemed to snap back to life.
"We'll be back!" they screeched in unison, heaved their companion between them and disappeared.
"Sasuke!" Sakana cried, running lightly towards her lover, "Are you hurt? Are you-?"
"Sakana," Sasuke managed, ducking as she grabbed for him. Then he straightened and received her as any well-mannered lover should.
"Sakana!" he exclaimed, a note of panic in his voice as he cradled her head between his hands and lifted it to where he could study her face, "Are you hurt? Are you-?"
"Silly," she sniffed, wiping at her silver eyes, tears glistening like jewels upon her long, silken lashes, "I was worried about you! Thank goodness you're all right,"
"Sakana," he said urgently, "I've been thinking all night, and I...I..."
"Yes, dear?" she said, orbs glowing like the moon and lips soft and luscious. Now! screamed twin voices in his head, voices that sounded really, really familiar.
"Ai-shi-te-ru," he gasped, digging his metaphorical heels as Shikamaru and Naruto suddenly burst out of thin air and rescued him, Sakana's wail of frustration echoed further and further away.
"We did it!" shouted Naruto, pumping his fist in the air, "We-!"
THE END
I think we can leave the jutsu be, as they get more nonsensical as you go along. The only real jutsu is chidori nagashi anyway, and I'm not sure how badly I'll spoil people by explaining. (I have a big mouth. Stuff gets out that shouldn't)
Aishiteru is Japanese for "I love you". Typical ending for a fangirl romance. Didn't think Sasuke should miss out. 8D