Disclaimer: I own none of Tolkien's creations and only lay claim to my own humble creatures.

Chapter Quote: "Why did Mirlaic not leave the village?"

Chapter Forty-Six

Understanding

Not only did I not like being woken from my dreamy slumber, but it also hurt just to open my eyes. I ached all over and my burns felt like they were on fire- no pun intended. I felt weak...pukey is was Zach used to call it; when you're hot and cold at the same time and you feel like at any moment you're about to see your half-digested breakfast on the floor-wait... Zach ...Zach?

Thinking of him woke me up...when was the last time I had thought of my brother? I couldn't remember. I didn't like to think about him...for then I would recall Caden's haunting message telling me that my brother wished to make amends. And I would remember that look of death that I had seen in both of their eyes...Caden's and Zach's. And I would feel cold. Pukey. Yeah.

I felt pukey.

Legolas was shaking me awake now...I was shivering...and it was snowing. "She is not doing well." I heard Legolas whisper urgently to someone else in Sindarin.

"We cannot stop...not now." I heard Ana reply.

I opened my eyes, found myself gazing blearily into Legolas' face...Ana was looking at me as well and I could see some strange emotion in her eyes...could it be fear?

"What are we hastening towards? We will never find tracks at this rate."

Snowing...it was snowing...was that why I was so cold?

"She needs warmth." Legolas persisted.

"Warm her with your body." Replied Ana tersely. "We no longer have any time...already the orcs have taken your friend and have had him for only the Valar knows how long. What are you waiting for? Both the captives' death?"

I felt Legolas stiffen, felt his arms tighten around my body. "I will not lose either of them." He growled to Ana through whirling snowflakes. I shivered.

"The snow will not slow us down." She replied, eyes flashing. "We continue, every moment is precious to us...I know where we are going."

"How do you know?" He shot back, Ana was silent for a moment.

"Hold her close to you...your body will warm her." She repeated.

This was ridiculous...I was freezing and now it was becoming too painful to move. "I'm awake." I croaked, tired of being talked about as if I wasn't here, fully roused from my dream-like stupor. Two pairs of elven eyes turned to me...where exactly were we? I could feel Talorta beneath me and I noticed that he was keeping his distance from Ana's ghostly mount who glared through dark eyes at us. "How much further do we have to go?" I asked, hating the two of them just then for not so much as even flinching as the snow whipped around us.

Ana didn't answer.

"We have to keep moving." I said, voicing her thoughts just as her lips moved to speak them. Ana nodded grimly, realizing I understood our need to move. She turned to Legolas,

"Keep her warm." She said once again, then whirled her grey mount to face ahead. Still seated upon Talorta and against Legolas, I realized that my butt was numb. An interesting sensation. Legolas was frowning at Ana as she stalked off, but I could sense his uneasiness as he nudged Talorta forward with a gentle squeeze.

"If we keep on at this rate you will not have the strength to stand when we reach our quarry." He muttered. Talorta knickered softly, as if to voice his agreement.

"She is right though." I said softly, biting my lip to drown out a groan as Talorta stumbled slightly and jarred my shoulders. "We won't be accomplishing anything for our friends if they're both already dead." I countered, trying to palliate his anger- though it's cause was a bit fuzzy in my mind.

Ana turned from the back of her hose, her eyes narrowed. "Be silent!" She hissed. "We ride ever nearer to danger...do not jeopardize this mission by foolish conversation." She turned away, leaving both Legolas and I stunned in her wake.

I could feel sleepiness settling in on me once more as both of us fell silent. And I noticed how comfortably my body rested against the elven prince...it made me shiver nervously. I had to think about something else...

"Do you suppose we can whisper?" I murmured softly. He didn't reply and I guessed that was my answer. We rode long through the forest and well into the evening before Ana slowed her horse and spoke to us once more.

"We shall stop here for a short while." she said to us, seemingly floating as she gracefully dismounted and landed soundlessly on the forest floor.

I didn't voice any of the questions swirling about in my head, nor did I speak to her as I slid shakily off Talorta's back and hit the ground, my weariness overtaking me. My headache was getting worse and the pain in my shoulder was flaring up again. As Legolas sat me down and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders, I remembered something.

"Legolas...do we have any star-flowers?" I asked.

He paused, watching me shiver before he reached into his pocket and presented me with two in the palm of his hand. I shook harder, the fever settling in on my body. "Crumble them up into dust...it shouldn't be too difficult...and squeeze the nectar out from the center. It'll make a paste."

I started as Ana approached, glancing at the flowers with a gleam in her eyes. "Those will help with the fever." She said eagerly...or rather what was eagerly for Ana. She looked up at Legolas, "They will give her strength for the coming dawn...but quickly now, we have only a few hours."

Legolas nodded wryly and I got the distinct feeling that he was just as uneasy around her as I was. He murmured something to her and she stalked off, paying me not another glance. Legolas was quick about the paste...obeying Ana's orders. And as I instructed him to smear it on my burns, he got a fire going to warm my nearly convulsing body as the snow continued to twirl around and about us...as it got colder and colder.

She looked small as he smeared the thick, blue paste across her scarred back. Small and defenseless. He wondered at her fear of her when they had first met. Maybe not fear...maybe dread. A dread of what he would learn from her. Now he saw only the broken shell of a woman haunted by a past he had unearthed. A past that was causing her pain. He felt guilty for causing her that discomfort just then, she shuddered violently as he began to smear the paste and he stopped.

"No..." She breathed. "I'm all right...stings a little...that's all."

She crossed her arms more tightly around her chest and buried her head in them. He smeared the paste on again...and this time she passed out.

Ana had startling eyes when you were fully aware and awake. There was this haunted quality about her...I think it was the only thing we had in common. But waking up to her face was something entirely different. She placed her hand over my mouth as I jerked awake, stifling my scream as I awoke to her hovering above me. She placed a finger on her lips, gesturing for my silence, and then pointed to Legolas. He was propped up against a tree a few feet away, his eyes open...but I knew enough about elves to tell that he was sleeping.

My fever had broken and my chills, subsided. I felt warm next to that fire...warm and safe. Ana sat back and I slowly pushed myself up into a sitting position, wincing as my tender flesh tugged at fresh bandages. Talorta was standing at attention at the edge of our camp, his ears flicking back and forth as he listened to the sounds of the forest. I smiled fondly at him...noting that the snow had stopped. The fire was dim now, more like smoldering ashes- which was good. I knew the fire had been for my sake alone and had put us all in danger. I didn't like the feeling that knowledge left me.

My gaze drifted to Ana, I watched as her pale face shimmered in the flames as she gazed up into the sky. I followed her eyes, realizing it was the stars she was gazing up at. Stars. They were rare to behold in the forest where the trees stretched on for miles on all sides and the leafy canopies stood towering above hundreds of feet above. And having lived nearly eight years in this forest, it as difficult for me to recall the last time I had gone star-gazing.

"They are beautiful...are they not?"

Ana didn't respond to my soft comment and I was left alone for a while with my own thoughts.

"May I ask you something?" She asked at last.

I glanced at her in surprise. "Sure."

"Why did Mirlaic remain in the village?" I blinked, cocking my head to look at her. "She believed...she believed she needed to stay with her people."

"What about you? Did she not care about what happened to you?" Ana countered, still staring up at the sky.

I winced, recollecting the things I had said to Mirlaic...the anger I had felt towards her...her voice on the wind as she tried to call me back as I rode away. I heard her voice often, whispering to me through the trees. I licked my lips, trying to figure out a way to put my thoughts into words. "I think she knew what would happen." I said slowly, "I think she didn't want me to die there." I smiled softly. "She said I had a whole life before me."

I felt the cold, winter wind...it chilled me to the bone. I shivered. The thought came to me then...ironic. It had a pungent taste to it. I laughed bitterly. "You know...since she died...I hadn't even wanted the life she gave to me. Every day I wished for death that refuses to come. And then I can hear her voice in my head, and I'll wonder what she wanted to say to me when she tried to call me back. I always wonder." I shook my head, tearing my gaze from the sky.

"You do not have to wonder though."

I blinked...the letter...I had forgotten it. It was probably still tucked away in my cloak. Unread. I glanced at Ana, watched as her mournful eyes turned to the fire. I watched the little flames dance in those eyes...eyes filled with pain...and a great emptiness. I understood.

"You don't remember...do you."

She met my gaze briefly, then hastily turned away. "I told you...I was knocked unconscious."

I shook my head. "But you really don't remember anything...anything at all. That's why you had to find me." My voice softened. "That's why you're still here now...isn't it?"

For s slimmer of a second, I saw Ana for who she really was...that little girl from Gilloth- playing beneath the branches of the forest. She blinked back tears.

"You left Victoria. But I stayed. I brought arrows to those who could use a bow. I ran to make sure Elenowen and Turwithiel were all right. Then I saw them." She shuddered at the memory, drew her knees to her chest. "Running towards us, black and murderous." She glanced hesitantly into my face, then dropped her gaze to the fire. "That was all. Why did no one come for me? Why was the village left alone?" She sighed. "I felt abandoned...like they had all left me to face the world on my own. It should not have had to be like that."

I reached out to touch her as she but her lip, but she shied away from my hand. I drew my finger back. "I'm sorry Ana."

She gave me a half-smile. "You are not at fault..." She answered softly. "...you never really were."

I heard a twig snap behind me and we both whirled, a dagger in my hand and a scimitar in Ana's. It was Legolas, his body rigid. "They are here." He hissed, his silver eyes darting from the shadows of the trees to my own, horrified gaze.

He pointed upward to the break in the trees...to the sky. There..just a short distance away...was a huge pillar of black smoke. Legolas was ready for anything...and just then I realized that smoke was near enough for the enemy to be anywhere...I felt the hair rise on the back of my neck. Talorta knickered softly to us...Legolas stomped on the fire, smothering the last of the flames. It would be dawn soon, already the sky was lightening. But it wasn't the black smoke itself that was so unnerving about the pillar.

What was unnerving were the screams that we could hear coming from it.

A/N: Told you I'd have another chapter up soon. Consider this a reward for the long wait in between updates...two chapters in two days...you should all consider yourselves lucky. :) The next chapter we'll be taking a plunge into darkness...so hold onto your butts and get ready for the ride! Just a little note, the original inhabitants of Middle-earth never used contractions so I'm trying to cut them out altogether for characters such as Aragorn, Legolas, and Ana. So if you see any in their conversations, drop me a line in your review:)

Thanks again for all the reviews, love you all:)

TO BE CONTINUED...