"Harper!" Beka cried out, then spun to look at me, as if to make sure I hadn't added teleporter to my massive lists of talents. She turned to the rest of the crew. "Am I the only one here seeing double?"

She wasn't. I could see him just fine. And no doubt about it, it was me. The hair was different, tinged in red and blue and combed so the spikes were only in the back. The clothes were odd, a sort of variation of what the other people here were wearing, and for some reason he looked just a tiny bit younger. But everything else reminded me of the hot guy I saw in the mirror this morning in the freaky, Twilight Zone kinda way. He had my beautiful eyes, my handsome smile, even that confident stance that I had perfected to an art form years ago. Basically, me. With a bad hairstyle I had dropped ages ago.

"Seamus Zelazny Harper at your service," he gave a half-bow to Beka with my Harper patented smile # 14 (Hello-I'd-like-to-get-very-close-to-you) and gave her a once-over that made my skin crawl. "But you can call me Zelazny."

Now, I'll admit that Beka's a looker. Nearly as hot as me. But she upgraded from babe to family a long time ago. She was the sister who picked on you any chance she got, and who you'd protect with you life. And thusly, me being the great guy that I am, I didn't like the new punk getting fresh, and I figured I should kindly introduce him to my fist. I didn't like him. Me. Whatever. Total seconds to skull-splitting headache: three.

"Hey, now," I stepped forward and spread my hands. "I know imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and I like to be flattered as much as the next guy, but that doesn't even slightly give you the right to try and squirm your way up close to friends I've established as mine! Trance, who's this psycho impersonating me?"

"And why would they impersonate Harper, of all people?" Rhade decided to throw in. Love ya too, buddy. So much so that I'm not fixing the water to your quarters for the next year.

"I'm not impersonating you," said Zelazny. (Zelazny? I mean, I have no qualms with my middle name, but this guy went around announcing it like it was cooler than, well, Harper) "I am you. But not you. I'm from an alternate universe. One where people can clue in to things like that a lot faster than you just did."

Skull-splitting headache starting… now.

"Look buddy," I said, stepping up to him and folding my arms. "I've been insulted and shot down by a lot of people before. Ya can't be a kludge on Earth without growing up with it. But I'm not going to sit back and take it while some wanna-be tries to claim that he's a better me than me! And what's with the hair? I mean, what were you thinking?"

"I am better!" Zelazny shot back. "No one, not even and alternate version of me, could make something as great as the Game." He pulled a small blue disk out of his pocket and hefted it in front of my face. "I can create worlds with this thing. In VR, I can make it so that you're so convinced you're dead, you'll hold your own funeral when you come back out. With this, I don't just play God, I am God!"

I smiled Harper patented smile # 51 (Aww-that's-great.-Have-a-cookie-and-we'll-work-on-spelling-your-name.) "Whoo freakin' hoo, buddy, you made a video game. You make an escape 'cause you're so afraid to face the real world and all of a sudden you think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread. Well, I got someone to introduce you to." I looked behind me and held out my arm for Rommie to step forward. "This is Andromeda. She's a diplomat. She's a warship. She's a babe. It's an all-in-one package. Oh, and she also happens to be my brainchild and can hardwire circles around that puny little game any day."

"Great," I heard Beka mutter. "The only thing worse than Harper with an ego is two Harpers with an ego."

"End this now." Sigma Orion demanded in his big lispy in-charge voice. "Flux, lead them to the Gardens to discuss their positions. They have one human hour."

Flux nodded and beckoned for us to follow as he went out the giant doors of the giant room. Dylan, Beka and Rhade left with him, but me and Zelazny were in the middle of a staring contest and there was no way I was backing down first.

I felt Trance put a hand on my arm. "Come on, Harper, we need to go," She said softly.

"Heya Trance, long time no see!" Zelazny said cheerfully. "I see you're back to your purple state. I've always been fond of it, but let me tell ya, I saw how you looked before your change and you grew up very nicely." He gave her a lewd wink before turning to Rommie. "And you," He gave her a once-over nearly identical to the one he had given Beka. "You may be just an android, but hey, my counterpart made you well. I'd examine your circuits any day."

Rommie gave a tight smile. "Well, isn't that nice. I may be just an android, but I know I'd like to electrocute your circuits any day." She turned on her heel and followed Dylan out the door.

"Give up on her now," I said to my double. "If I can't score with her, fat chance you will."

"Harper, come on," Trance insisted, pulling on my arm. "Just ignore him. We need to catch up with Dylan and Beka."

I shrugged and without another word turned my back to Zelazny and walked with Trance out the door, ignoring the staring Rainbow People.