Kyle Katarn: The Rise & Fall

Book 1: Rise of a Hero

Part 2

Chapter 20: Kyle and Alessa?

A/N: Well, after a pleasant conversation with Alessa, Kyle gets to leave sickbay the next day (but for how long?). But no sooner is he out than Wexter begins laying on the pressure to take a look at the Crow. Obsessive much?

However, before he has to decide, Kyle is summoned to a briefing with Mon Mothma, courtesy of the intelligence provided by two certain lieutenants (you know who you are) and learns that letting Wexter work on the Crow is actually a good idea.

But in the midst of all this good feeling stuff, Alessa takes off, clearly upset. One has to wonder why. Well, come on in and let's find out what happens next.

How could she get this far ahead of me? Kyle thought.

He had been searching the corridors of the New Hope for nearly twenty minutes, but there was no sign of Alessa. He inquired of members of the crew he walked by if they had seen her. But so far, no one had.

This is hopeless, he thought, stopping to lean against a wall. Maybe I should wait for her to come back. She has to eventually.

It occurred to Kyle that he hadn't the corridors leading to the engineering section. It seemed like an unlikely place for Alessa to go. Still, he thought, I could at least check them.

Fifteen minutes later, with no sign of Alessa, and the roar of the New Hope's engines getting progressively louder, Kyle stopped to rest his aching feet. Feels like I've covered half the corridors in this blasted ship. Where could she be?

He peered around of the corner of the T-intersection he was in and noticed a large view port at one end.

Wow, he thought, never knew that was here. Wonder if the view is any good?

He stepped towards the view port, eager to find out what he'd be able to see. He was less than ten steps away when he heard something.

He stopped walking, listening intently. When the sound didn't repeat itself, Kyle shrugged. Must be hearing things. He had just reached the view port when he caught a flash of familiar blue material in the dimly lit corridor.

"Alessa?" he called.

Kneeling on the deck, face buried in her hands, Alessa didn't hear Kyle's approach until he was nearly on top of her.

Oh no, she thought, what is he doing here?

On the heels of that thought came, I've got be quiet. I can't let him see me like this. He's been through enough.

She saw his black boots first, then the gray trousers and the off white shirt. When his face became visible, Alessa saw the concern etched on Kyle's face.

What's wrong with him?

He glanced around.

He can't be… Is he looking for me?

"Alessa?"

She heard his voice, but forced herself not to respond. I'm in no fit state right now. I won't do this to him.

"Alessa, I know you're there. I can see your skirt."

She sucked in a breath. He knows I'm here. What am I going to do now?

"Alessa," he said gently, "please answer me."

"Go away."

It was her voice all right, but there was something wrong with it.

"Alessa, I…"

"I said go away, Kyle."

There's definitely something wrong with her. She sound like…she's been crying?"

"Look, Alessa," he tried again, "whatever's wrong, it's…"

"Go away!"

Kyle took a step back. Alessa was clearly upset, but his presence only seemed to be upsetting her further.

Great, he thought feeling angry and disgusted, just great. First Jan and now Alessa. I sure seem to have a knack for ticking women off. Ah, who needs this? I'm outta here.

"Fine," he said to Alessa, unable to control the anger in his voice, "pardon me for wanting to help."

He turned on his heel and began striding away even as he heard the rustle of clothes behind him.

No! Alessa thought as she saw Kyle turn away. This isn't what I wanted. I don't want to hurt him.

Putting aside her own situation, Alessa rose to her feet quickly, stepping out into the light. He was already several steps away.

"Kyle!" she called, "Wait!"

I don't know why I bother trying, he thought. I shoulda just headed for my quarters after meeting with Mon Mothma. Nothing is worth going through this again.

When Alessa's voice rang out, he almost kept walking. The last thing he wanted was to have another fight. Memories of his confrontation with Jan were still fresh in his mind.

I hope I'm not going to regret this.

Stopping, Kyle turned around. "Look, Alessa, I…"

The words died in his throat as he caught sight of her face.

When he turned round, Alessa saw his face morph from annoyance to surprise. He looked at her with such pity; she had to fight not to break down.

I must look horrible, she thought, knowing that her mascara had run and her hair was askew. Her lip began to quiver and she bit it to stop the trembling.

What do I say to him?
Kyle was the one to break the silence.

"Something is wrong, isn't it?"

She opened her mouth, tried to speak, but just as quickly closed it, settling for a nod.

His heart went out to her. He wanted nothing more than to help her, comfort her. But he had to know.

"Do you really want me to leave?"

Alessa heard him ask the question, but at first, she didn't know how to answer. The last thing she wanted to involve Kyle in her troubles, he had enough of his own. At the same time, she knew she didn't want to be alone at that moment.

It took a long moment, but the answer finally came to her.

When she didn't answer right away, Kyle's heart sank.

I should have kept walking, he thought, assuming the worst.

But rather than turn away, he continued to stare at her. Alessa couldn't keep her lip from trembling and with a fresh wave of tears; she shook her head.

His own heart beating in sympathy, Kyle stepped towards her.

Alessa felt her own heart leap as he came towards her. Despite the pain she felt at this moment, she wouldn't have to face it alone.

She took a shaky step towards him.

When he thought about it later, Kyle wasn't sure why he had done it. Maybe he did it just to be nice. Maybe he did it because he knew she needed a friend at the moment. But whatever the reason, Kyle opened his arms to her.

Alessa watched him, saw Kyle open his arms to her. She wanted nothing more to step into those arms, to seek the comfort she so sincerely desired.

But should I?

It was at that moment, he uttered, "C'mere."

Reading the hesitation on her face, Kyle spoke to Alessa, told her to come.

And she did. With two quick steps, she fell against him, burying her face against his chest. Kyle encircled her with his arms, gently holding her.

"It's okay," he soothed.

He looked down at the same time she looked up at him. Even tear filled and mascara-streaked, her eyes shone brightly.

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice thick.

"Sorry about what?"

"About this," she replied, "I didn't want you… you've got enough problems… it's just that…"

It came to him in an instant. All their conversations, everything he had told her about Sulon and what she had told him of Alderaan. And that on top of what had happened with Jan.

"You miss your home," he finished for her.

Her eyes going wide, Alessa stared up at him in stunned surprise.

How did he know? I didn't tell him.

The answer came as he said, "I still miss my Father and Mother."

He understands! Alessa thought.

She closed her eyes and buried her face into his chest again.

Feeling Alessa beginning to sob against him, Kyle tightened his grip on her slightly.

He felt the warmth on his skin as Alessa pressed her hands into his chest.

Feeling his strong grip on her body, Alessa poured out all the pain and grief she had buried inside.

"Here," Kyle said, indicating they should sit.

Guiding Alessa back towards the view port, Kyle slowly settled them both onto the deck. She leaned into him, her full weight against his chest. As her arms slid around him, Kyle felt a stab of guilt.

What am I doing? I mean, Jan and I are on the skids right now, but this doesn't seem right. Maybe I should go.

But as he gazed down at Alessa, her body lying against his, he knew he couldn't leave her right now, not like this.

And besides, he thought, what Jan doesn't know won't hurt her.

They sat there for nearly two hours, holding each other. When the last of her tears had tried, Alessa looked up at him again.

Kyle smiled down at her and for a moment, all she wanted to do was to put her head back down on his chest

That thought brought with realization of how tightly she was holding onto him and he onto her. Her eyes went wide in shock. What am I thinking? What am I doing?

Feeling her stiffen and quickly pull her arms from about him, Kyle wasn't sure what to do until Alessa said, "Please let me go."

He complied, allowing her to slide a short distance away from him.

Kyle waited for her to say something, but she wouldn't look at him.

"Alessa?"

She didn't respond.

"What's wrong now, Alessa?"

"Nothing," she said quickly.

"It's not nothing. Please tell me."

"I…" she stammered, "I just… you and I hardly know each other… I appreciate your being there…"

Kyle smiled at her, realizing she was embarrassed.

"It's okay. You were upset. I was here. You let me help you. It's nothing more than that, Alessa."

"But, I…"

"But nothing," Kyle said, interrupting, "Alessa, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Friends help each other. That's all it was."

She looked up at him, a mixture of surprise and happiness on her face.

"Are… you saying… we're friends?"

"I'd like us to be," Kyle replied.

Heart leaping in joy, Alessa smiled widely. Before either of them realized it was happening, she slid over and hugged him tightly.

She just as quickly let go and slid back, cheeks flaming red.

"Sorry, I just…" she stammered.

Kyle chuckled, "Don't stop on my account. I rather enjoyed it."

She laughed with him. "You're silly."

"Yep," he said, rising to his feet and extending a hand to her.

She took it, letting Kyle help her up.

"Are you still interested in dinner?" he asked.

"I would be," she replied, "except I think it's a bit late."

"Huh?"

"Look," she said, pointing at his wrist chrono.

Reading the display, Kyle saw she was right. It was three hours past normal dinner hours in the mess.

"Well," he said, "so much for that idea."

"How about tomorrow?" Alessa suggested.

"Sure," Kyle replied, a bit surprised but delighted that she had asked.

Present Day

And so it had begun, he mused as the hangar bays doors parted before them. He and Alessa had gone out to dinner every night that week. They quickly became the envy of most of the New Hope's male crewmembers.

He especially remembered one evening when Alessa had told him to go ahead and she'd be along shortly. Kyle had picked out a table and waited nearly ten minutes when the mess doors opened, revealing Alessa in a stunning black dress, with a split in the side that showed a tempting view of her legs. Her black hair was adorned with silver clasps that flashed in the light.

Nearly every head in the room, male and female alike, turned to watch her enter the room and move to where Kyle was sitting.

"Wow," he said, as she sat down opposite him, "you look… wow."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Alessa replied.

"Well, considering that every guy in this room is staring at you, I should think you would."

"Are they?" she queried, "well too bad for them. Because I came for looking for you, Kyle Katarn, and only you.

At that moment, Kyle knew that no matter what happened with Jan, right now he was happy.

Mon Mothma had called him later that week, ordering him to another briefing.

"Time to go?" Kyle had asked as soon as he sat down.

"I'm afraid not," she replied.

It was then Kyle noticed the look of frustration and anger on the Rebel leader's face.

Uh oh, he thought, this is not good.

"What's happened?"

"I can hardly believe it myself, but it seems that the we have lost the pirate freighter."

"Lost?" Kyle said incredulously.

"I'm no less mystified than you are, Kyle. We had tracked the pirate vessel to its pickup point. They took on the cargo of Dark Trooper weapons and had headed back towards their home base."

"What happened?"

"Lieutenants Aldarion and Undomiel report that the smuggler dropped from hyperspace just outside of Coruscant. At that point, the vessel vanished from their tracking screens."

"Another hyperspace jump?" Kyle suggested.

"We considered that, but given the amount of time between sweeps, the smuggler ship would not have had sufficient time to calculate another jump.

"Could another vessel have intercepted them?"

Mon Mothma shook her head, "

"Aldarion and Undomiel confirmed there were no other ships in the system. They're expanding their search area right now, but so far nothing."

Kyle said nothing, mulling over the information from the two Lieutenants.

Of course, he thought, that's it!

"Mon Mothma, have Undomiel and Aldarion scanned the area for traces of a hyperspace jump."

"No," she replied, "I saw no need. I told you the time between sweeps would not allow for another jump."

"It would if the jump were pre-programmed," Kyle countered, "Jan and I used to set them up before heading out on missions.

A look of total surprise appeared on Mon Mothma's face.

"Of course," she said, "it makes perfect sense. I don't know why I didn't think of it. I'll have the Lieutenants check the area immediately. Well done, Kyle. I'll let you know what we find. Dismissed."

He nodded, and with a smile, got up from his chair and exited the briefing room.

It turned Kyle was indeed right, the smuggler ship had used a preprogrammed jump, looping back on its original path to as Aldarion and Undomiel put it, "muddy the waters" and make it harder to locate and track the ship.

But find it they did, back on its original course. They estimated that the maneuver would cost the smuggler an additional four days in travel time.

Upon hearing this, Kyle immediately called Alessa informing her of his additional time off. They agreed to meet for dinner that very night. But when Kyle mentioned the mess, Alessa had said no.

"I was hoping you'd have dinner with me aboard the Aldera. You never really got to see my ship and I'd like to show it to you."

"Sure," Kyle replied, "I'll be there."

"Good," she said, a soft purr in her voice, "see you soon."

As her image winked out, Kyle pulled at the collar of his shirt. Although he and Alessa had been dating for less than a week, they were getting somewhat intimate, holding hands over dinner. He wondered what she had in mind tonight.

Republic Command Ship New Hope

The Brig

I hate this place. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

From the antiseptic smell of the room to the unbroken river of pale-colored walls and floor, it was hardly an interesting place. And, after a while, you were hoping for a change, any kind of change.

Okay Ors, Jan said to herself, relax. Consulting her mental calendar, Jan calculated that today marked the completion of her third week of detention.

Two more weeks, she thought, two more weeks. How am I gonna last two more weeks in here? In trying to pass the time, Jan had discovered that one could only sleep so much. But beyond sleep and eating, her cell provided very little in the way of activity.

She did a computer terminal on the wall opposite her bed, but it was fairly useless to her. She could access the New Hope's internal mail system and send messages.

But, she realized that first day, whom would I send a message to? Kyle certainly doesn't want to hear from me. And since Alessa and Wexter have sided with him, I don't want to talk to them.

She wished she could talk to Galder. Over and over, she had thought about the kiss, the touch of his lips on hers. She had been too surprised at the time to react coherently. But over the preceding two weeks, she had had plenty of time to think about it.

Why? That was the question that had rang in her head again and again. Why had he kissed her? As far as Jan was concerned, she and Galder weren't a couple anymore. So why had he done it?

Maybe he… she thought on the first day in the cell and just as quickly dismissed the notion. But now, after two weeks, the possibility that Galder wanted to get back together with her was becoming a stronger possibility.

And then there were the messages. Although she hadn't contacted him, not wanting to make things any worse, Kyle had emailed her. And each message increased her doubt in the relationship they had had.

She still didn't know how he had done it. Communications in and out of the brig were carefully monitored to prevent prisoners from sending anything they shouldn't be. So how was it Kyle had been able to this?

It was on her third day of incarceration when it happened. She had just finished her lunch, delivered as always by droid, when a strident "beep" issued from the terminal.

At first, she couldn't tell where the sound had come from. But when it repeated less than a minute later, she looked to the terminal. In the lower right corner of the display, the letters "MSG" were visible. The screen display read, "You have a message. Do you wish to accept?"

Not able to fathom who could be sending her a message, Jan responded affirmatively.

The "MSG" display vanished and words began to scroll across the screen.

Jan,

Heard you were in the brig.

Sorry.

Guess that's the way it is, though

Kyle

She read the message three more times, her anger increasing. Resisting the temptation to put her fist through the screen, she sat there and fumed.

As if isn't bad enough having to sit here without any contact, she thought, but he has to send this? Consider yourself lucky I'm in here, Katarn.

Jan knew he was mad at her, but to do something like this? It wasn't like Kyle to rub it in. And yet, the way he had spoken to her in sickbay, the look he had given her. Could he still be that mad?

Consider what you've done to him, yes, part of her mind, you nearly kill him and then told him that you chose Galder over him.

No! Jan thought back, angrily, that's not what happened. Kyle provoked me. What happened is as much his fault as mine. And I didn't tell him I chose Galder over him, but I do believe Galder.

If that's true, part of her mind said, then why are you here?

She didn't have an answer for that. But still, Kyle didn't have to do this. She could only hope that he'd calm down and not send another message like this.

But two days later, another message appeared.

Jan,

I just don't get it.

What can Galder give you that I can't?

I really thought we had something.

Kyle

She snarled at the computer to delete the message, then fired a punch into the wall. The material absorbed the blow easily, leaving Jan with a sore hand.

Blast it, Katarn! Why are you acting like this? I thought you were more understanding than this. Maybe I was wrong. At least Galder sympathizes with me.

When another message popped up the next day, she almost told the computer to delete it without reading it. She didn't know if she could take much more of Kyle's verbal barbs.

But when the message text appeared, her jaw dropped open in surprise.

Jan,

I was able to get Mon Mothma to allow me to send you mail. I miss seeing you. I've tried asking, but so far Plasdan will not allow me to visit you. I hope you are well and holding up.

By my calendar, you have two more weeks before your release. I will be waiting when they let you out. I hope that is okay with you.

Be strong, Jan, and know that no matter what, someone cares.

Galder

She stared in stunned disbelief for a long while, reading the message over and over again. For the first time since her incarceration, Jan found herself able to smile. Galder's message was exactly what she needed at the moment, encouragement and caring.

It reminds me of when we were first dating, she thought. He was so sweet back then, so caring. He made feel so special. Maybe, maybe it isn't too late for us.

How she wished she could reply to his message, to tell him how much his words had helped her. It gave her strength, strength enough that she knew she could last the remaining time.

Another message from Galder arrived midway into the fourth week.

Jan,

Hope you got my last message. I was digging through some stuff yesterday and found an old picture of you. As I write this, that picture is sitting next to my keyboard so I can look at you as I write.

You haven't changed that much from back then. The hair is longer, but I like it. And those eyes of yours, I look at them and feel that I could lose myself in them.

Oh, sorry Jan. I think I may have gone a bit too far with that remark. It's just that as I sit here, looking at your picture, I remember how pretty you are and what we once shared.

I know things can never be the same, Jan. But maybe we can try again. Please?

Galder

"Oh Galder," she said, reading his words, her cheeks reddening. He still knew how to make her feel special.

Could it be that he's really changed? If he has, maybe we could try again.

That night, as she slept, she dreamt of him.

Republic Command Ship New Hope

Hangar Bay

The Aldera

Standing outside the ship's hatch, Kyle wondered again if he should have agreed to this.

It's not that I don't like Alessa, he thought, I do. But something about this feels wrong. If Jan were here, she'd tell me to watch her back.

He snickered at that last thought. For if Jan had really been there, he'd more than likely be scurrying for cover. But the smile faded away as his brain reminded him of the last time they had been together.

Blast it, Jan Ors, why can't I get you out of my head? You made it very clear you're not interested in me any more, so why do I still care? Maybe, he thought, maybe I could tell Alessa I'm not feeling well, reschedule this.

But on the heels of that thought, Kyle's colossal stubbornness reared its head. If Jan had chosen Galder and not him, then why should he worry about what she thought?

No, he decided, I am going to have dinner with Alessa.

Reaching for an external panel next to the hatch, Kyle pressed a button.

"Yes?" came her voice from the small speaker.

"It's me, Alessa."

"Then do come in, Kyle," he heard her say, a smile in her voice, "I'm on the lower deck. Take a left as soon as you step in, then take the turbo shaft. I'll see you shortly."

"Okay," he said, as the hatch slid open.

Less than a minute later, the turbo shaft opened and Kyle stepped into an all too familiar room. However, the Aldera's small ballroom looked nothing like he had remembered. The floating chandeliers had been completely rearranged. Most were arranged in two concentric circles, creating small pools of light about the room.

The remaining four hovered a few meters over a table set to one side of the room. He could see the table was set with gleaming silverware, china and goblets of pure crystal/

Wow, he thought, surveying the room, she really went all out.

"Kyle?"

Alessa stood by the table, having just finished lighting two candles. The lights overhead dimmed, allowing the glow from the candles to become more visible.

"Hi," he called.

"Hi yourself," she called back, "you can come in, you know."

Realizing that he was still standing by the turbo shaft, he smiled sheepishly and started walking towards the table.

As he got closer, Alessa gestured at their surroundings. "What do you think?"

Blurting out the first thing that came to mind, he said, "It's really neat."

Oh good one, Katarn, he thought, cursing himself, why didn't you it was cool as well?"

Attempting to recover from his verbal faux pas, Kyle took a moment to think of something more appropriate.

"Sorry. I meant to say that it's beautiful."

"That's all right," Alessa replied, smiling at him, "I think it's pretty neat too."

Kyle rolled his eyes in mock frustration, prompting a small giggle from Alessa.

"Okay, then," he said, "I guess we agree it's neat then."

"Definitely," she replied, "come, sit down."

As he drew closer to the table, Kyle got his first good look at Alessa and fought to keep his eyes from bugging out of his head.

Alessa wore a black evening gown somewhat similar to the one she had worn to the dinner they had had in the mess hall. But this one had several sequins sewn into the fabric. They flashed in the light whenever she moved. The outfit was complimented with a pair of high-heeled open-toed shoes that added an inch or so to her height. A split in the side of the dress allowed him an enticing glimpse of one of her legs.

She's gorgeous, Kyle thought, even as his eyes continued to roam over her.

Alessa noticed his stare, but said nothing since she was staring at him as well. She knew he didn't have much, but he had obviously worked to assemble an attractive outfit. His black boots had been polished to a point that the light from the chandeliers was reflected in them. His trousers were a medium tan color leading up to a black shirt open at the throat. His face was freshly scrubbed and shaved and his hair combed.

Look at him, she thought, he's gorgeous. And he did this for me. I'll have to thank him, somehow.

"Well," she said, "shall we sit?"

"Sure," Kyle replied. As he sat, he noticed a covered dish upon his plate.

"Wow. You cooked?"

Oh boy, he thought, way to go, Katarn. Another masterful one. Keep this up and you'll be lucky if she doesn't kick you out.

"Is that so hard to believe?" Alessa asked, half seriously.

"No," Kyle said quickly, "not at all. I just… see, I didn't… I wasn't expecting… I mean I didn't think you'd go to all this trouble."

"Why would you say that?"

"Umm… well… I…"

Deciding that she had tortured him enough, Alessa let out a laugh. "I got you, didn't I?"

Realizing that she played him, Kyle looked down at his lap, feeling his cheeks redden.

"Well," he said, trying not to sound like he felt, "I guess I walked right into that one."

"You sure did," Alessa replied, "If you could have seen the look on your face…"

Yeah, I suppose. Real funny. Could I be doing anything else to ruin this evening?

Noticing that he wasn't looking at her, Alessa's smile faded. Maybe I went too far.

Leaning forward, she took his right hand in hers, running her thumb over the back of it.

Feeling the touch of her smooth, warm skin, Kyle looked up. Alessa was staring right at him, a concerned look on her face.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said, "just feeling a little stupid."

"You're not stupid," she said sincerely, "you said what was on your mind in your own way. There's nothing wrong with that."

"I suppose."

Letting go of his hand, Alessa rose from her chair, stepping over to stand next to him. She took his hand again, placing her free hand on his shoulder.

"Loosen up a little, Kyle. One of the reasons I like you is because you speak your mind, even when you're not exactly sure what to say."

He looked up at her. "Really?"

"Really. Just be honest with me, Kyle. That's all I ask."

"No," he said, a smile on his face, "I mean the part about liking me."

Removing the hand from his shoulder, she stroked the back of his head, his neck, the side of his face.

"What do you think?"

"I think I… no, I do like you, Alessa. I like you a lot."

"Good," she said, giving his hand a squeeze before letting go and sitting back down, "because the feeling is mutual."

Kyle smiled widely at her.

"Now, if you don't mind," she said, "let's talk while we eat. I'm starving."

"By all means," Kyle said, pulling the cover off his dish, recognizing the contents almost immediately.

"Is this..?"

"Courtesy of the mess hall. As you can see, I didn't cook."

They both laughed.

Unbeknownst to both of them however, there was a third guest, observing their ever move.