Disclaimer: I own none of Tolkien's creations and only lay claim to my own humble creatures.

Chapter Quote: "Do you not know me?"

Chapter Fifty-Six

Laughing Tears

I didn't cry for very long. My lips tasted salty and my cheeks were wet. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and I rose, sniffling, and walked stiffly to gaze at myself in my old, rusted mirror. The dress hung loosely from my sickly and starved form. I saw nothing beautiful in that mirror. But for an instant... for just one instant... I thought I caught a glimpse of the girl, who looked both younger and happier then me, gaze at me from a more blest, long past time. That girl was beautiful... that girl who used to be me.

I felt like an imposter- but the vision ended and I was alone again. Alone. I could remember how wonderful that dress had looked when I had first seen it. I could remember how the mystery of it had enthralled me. I could remember when excitement when I had learned Faerlain had sent it for me. Memories. Memories from much happier times. Times long past... moments I would never relive again. Life was too short for this. It wasn't fair... but it didn't matter. The present was here and now- nothing else mattered. Nothing.

I stepped away from the mirror- suddenly feeling quite chilled by the girl I saw in the reflection. A girl with sunken eyes and a drawn face. A girl who was supposed to be me. Legolas was waiting for me beyond that bedroom door- it was cold but I hardly felt it. I gathered up my things into a leather sack I found in the corner. I slid the veil inside the sack and then left it on the bed, I would have time to retrieve it later.

There was something I still needed to do.

Legolas hadn't known where the cemetery was- I led him to it. I told him to wait for me by the flets as I slid off his horse. He didn't like leaving me- that I could tell without him saying it. But this was not his decision, it was mine.

"I'll be fine... sometimes it feels like I've lived in these woods longer then you."

This brought a soft smile to his lips and he moved to turn away. Then he paused, regarded me with calm, grey eyes. "You look beautiful you know."

Looked- I wanted to say. I had once looked beautiful. But that was the thing about Legolas- he never lied. To him, in one way or another, he saw something beautiful even if I did not. I smiled for him... and then he rode away. It wasn't snowing... but there was the faintest of breezes that rustled my dress and lanky hair. It blew through the barren trees and the few remaining star-flowers that held tight to their branches. It was quiet. I wandered through the gravestones till I found Elenowen's, little Turwithiel's, and lastly, Ana's. I rested by Ana's marker for a moment and ran my fingers over the simple lettering which inscribed her name. I felt a chill as I thought of the Ana who had visited me... who had helped me to get even this far.

I wondered if she was at peace now. I glanced at the other markers. I recalled an image of Elenowen- helping her to care for her little girl. A little girl I helped to bring into this world. A little girl who had died before her life had even begun. I remembered holding that little girl, Turwithiel, in my arms.

And there were so many more markers... so many more were gone. I found Mirlaic's and, kneeling, I stooped to kiss her name. How I miss you. I thought wistfully- wishing she would appear to me as Ana had. Mirlaic would have known all the answers to ease my confusion. She would have helped me to understand. But she wasn't here... I was alone. And I had to figure it all out on my own.

It was cold.

I placed a stone on the marker as my way of letting her know that I was thinking of her. Talorta's ashes hung still on the string about my neck. I removed it. It pained me as I opened the sack to see the tiny black ashes which were all that remained of my friend besides the memories I held inside my heart. I scooped out a handful and I let them fly on the winter wind.

They swirled about the cemetery- carried on the breeze until they disappeared. Refastened the sack- now nearly empty- about my neck until it came to rest once more by Faerlain's medallion. A twist of fate perhaps? It was strange that this medallion would have belonged to both the men I had loved... did love. Coincidence? I think not. Then, with the sobriety and reverence of one who mourns for the dead, I began to dance.

The dance I had first danced when I'd discovered I loved Faerlain. It was a dance of mortality. The snow seeped into my boots- dampening the cloth- but I hardly felt it. I twirled and lept and I could hear the music in my head as if I had played it myself. As if it had always been there, locked for eternity. The wind blew and the trees shook- but I did not cry... this was no time for tears.

It was a solemn event. My farewell to them and to my past life. I didn't know how long I danced, but eventually the sky grew dark with the murmur of a storm and the snow began to lightly fall.

I saw the figure out of the corner of my eye. He was standing by a tree naught six feet away. I was so startled that I missed my footing and landed hard on the ground, twisting my still tender shoulder painfully. Had Legolas come looking for me? Could he have so quietly snuck up on me? But no- there was his horse by the flets. I could see it's tail. Besides, the figure had appeared from the south.

I heard the footsteps crunching the snow noisily, hurriedly, and purposefully before I had time to look into the face. I was winded and tingles of pain from my arm blurred my vision momentarily as my eyes watered. I felt a strong hand on my arm as the figure knelt beside me. He was murmuring in Quenya- I could tell that much because I couldn't understand it.

It was a man, his voice was deep and rough though partially frantic by his tone. He slipped back into the common tongue and I realized that he was helping me up. "So cold... but you are no ghost. Could fate... no... do the Valar play tricks on me again?" He was saying as I looked up into his face. He had dark brown hair- long and pulled away from his face and displaying prominent, pointed ears. He had a strong jaw and a long scar running from his forehead and down across his eyes- slightly discoloring one. His skin was pale but he was strong and tall.

I was so mesmerized by his face that I hardly noticed how my shoulder stung or how tightly this stranger was gripping my arm as we stood... or how his own hand trembled. I studied his face again, his eyes were a soft grey- except for the discolored one which was more white.

"It can't be..." He whispered and it wasn't until he reached to touch my face that I broke from my trance like state. I drew back, shaken.

"Can I help you sir?" My heart beat wildy and I felt suddenly ill with a sense of foreboding. Who was this stranger? Why did I feel as though I had seen him before? His face fell and he looked so familiar that it was maddening.

"Do you not know me?" He asked, his voice soft- broken. "Do you not know me my little scholar?"

I was going to be sick... who is he? He moved closer and I found I could not move... his face... his eyes...

"Do you not know me... Saronedhel?"

The name froze on his lips and he had a pleading look in his eyes. His eyes... depth-less eyes... I felt as if someone had kicked me in the stomach and my eyes watered with tears.

"Faerlain?" I whispered breathlessly, not believing my own eyes. But I knew even as I spoke the name that it was him, and that face and those eyes were his. That he was standing before me.

He lunged for me and my tears fell as he suddenly enveloped me in his arms, hugging me close as he buried his face in my hair and he shook with soft cries of his own. I didn't care if I was dead or dreaming just then. And I heard a sound... a strange sound. I was laughing and crying at once- I couldn't breathe.

I ran my hands through his hair, down his shoulders and back. It was unreal and at the same time the harshest reality I had ever perceived. It was Faerlain- a ghost or no I didn't care. It was Faerlain... he had come back to me.

A/N: I'm REALLY sorry about the delay in getting this chapter up! I had it all written out like... two weeks ago but some friends were visiting for the week and I had no time to type this chapter up- I'm REALLY sorry... truly:)

Now, to address this chapter. I don't know what any of you will be thinking when you read this. Sorry if I sort of shocked any of you- but I knew it was coming even if you didn't. :) And, of course, Faerlain's return means a BUTLOAD of angst coming to a computer screen near you... sorry mates. The next chapter will address some questions in need of answering, Legolas' reaction, and a newly developed love triangle. So sorry... we're still not quite at the 'happily ever after' part of this story. :)

Since I last updated I saw Superman Returns and PotC 2. AMAZING MOVIES! Superman left me in tears and PotC was a lot better then I expected it to be. I like the first one better... but ah well. For any readers of my PotC fics- I'm going to edit and repost the first one and then replot and redo the second. I've got my inspiration! Right now I'm also madly in love with Brandon Routh who played Superman so you all can expect a fanfic in one way or another about him. :)

I highly recommend BOTH movies and I WILL update soon! Toodles! And thanks so much to all of you who reviewed:)

TO BE CONTINUED...