Disclaimer: I own none of Tolkien's creations and only lay claim to my own humble creatures.

Chapter Quote: "I was looking for you... everywhere."

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Searching

Legolas heard her cries before he saw her face. He'd waited for hours by the flets- saw her dancing before he had turned away- knowing she'd asked him to leave because she needed to be alone. Nothing could go wrong... I am right here. His blood had gone cold and he'd whirled his horse around in a sudden panic. Fear gripped his heart as he thought of all that could have happened to her.

It was hard to see through the snow- even for his elven eyes. And he pushed his horse hard as they darted through the grave markers. He saw her and he reined his horse in so fast that the beast reared in fright. His breath was coming in harsh breaths and his blood was coursing hotly through his veins. She was crying... crying and laughing. Her arms and caresses all for a stranger who held her tightly to his chest.

Legolas dismounted subconsciously, warily reaching for his bow. But then the stranger and Victoria broke apart, and she looked to him... she was smiling. Her face brightened as she saw him and the worries of half a decade seemed to melt momentarily from her face as she laughed.

"Legolas! Legolas look! It's Faerlain... Faerlain has come back to us!" He face was alive- enlightened and Legolas found he had nothing to say as he shut his gaping mouth and turned to face the stranger. He had Faerlain's dark hair, Faerlain's height and build. Faerlain's eyes... except of course for the unfamiliar scar which had discolored one slightly. But this Faerlain's face had a look similar to that of Victoria's. Starved... haunted. Eyes sunken into his head. Yes... by appearances alone it was Faerlain. The Faerlain who had saved his life. The Faerlain who had been like a brother to him. The Faerlain who had loved Victoria.

Legolas found his smile at last though his insides felt hard and frozen. He concentrated on the measure of joy he felt at his friend's return... however small that measure might be. He embraced him- the younger elf stood slightly taller then himself. Faerlain lingered as they hugged and when they released each other Legolas still had that frozen smile plastered on his face. Faerlain was beaming.

"It is good to see you, brother." Legolas said softly to him.

Victoria was laughing. "This is wonderful!" She said happily, giddy in her excitement. She took both of their hands, seemingly oblivious to Legolas' strange behavior or the doubt in Faerlain's eyes as the two elves regarded each other with unbridled indifference. Victoria had been speaking and Legolas turned to her now to give her his full attention.

"We must make camp!" She was saying excitedly- speaking so fast that she seemed almost like a school girl and more then a decade younger. "Fires... tents! Everything!"

Legolas assumed his role as host and gestured for a few of the on-looking warriors to come over. "Prepare a camp- we have a guest worth celebrating."

It was easy- the initial shock had passed. He had been trained since birth to entertain guests- he was a prince after all. He knew how to play act the part, knew how to play act pleasantries with all sorts of people. He just never thought he'd have to play it with Faerlain. But no matter how much he tried- the coldness in his stomach wouldn't go away when he saw Victoria and him together.

She didn't seem to notice anything she was so happy. They sat together by the fire- Victoria had insisted. She said something about sitting 'Indian Style'... and neither elf had any idea what she meant. They just followed her example and sat cross-legged by the fire, the warriors guarding the perimeter. Cudir and Faerlain had had a warm reunion, but Cudir refused an invitation to join them at the fire.

"I am still on duty." He said apologetically thought Legolas noted his eyes never lost their stern, war-weary look, though he'd wiped away tears when he'd embraced his old friend again. Cudir disappeared into the night, moving soundlessly between the outposts. Legolas didn't know what to think, feel, or what to say. And he could tell easily that Faerlain felt just as awkward. But still Victoria remained oblivious and blissfully happy.

"Where have you been?" Victoria asked at length, her face beaming.

Faerlain cleared his throat, smiling at her. "I was on the borders..." He began, pausing as if not knowing what he could say. Victoria saved him the trouble.

"I thought you were dead." She said bluntly, awe struck- as if remembering something from a dream. Faerlain shrugged.

"I wasn't." Faerlain told how he had been grievously wounded in the orc attack- receiving his scar. "I can still see with it." He said. "The colors are sometimes strange though... like viewing the world through a fog... or a dream."

Legolas saw the medallion around Victoria's neck and he felt the pit in his stomach again. Faerlain seemed to have caught a glimpse of it too, because he glanced at Legolas who had turned his gaze once more in Victoria in evident concern. She paused in her chattering and Faerlain glanced curiously at her. Legolas frowned and the movement to brush cautionary hand against her forehead was so natural that he never even recalled that it might cause Faerlain some embarrassment.

"You are feverish." He murmured, noticing then how alarmed Faerlain looked as he stared long and hard at Victoria.

"You are ill?" He asked in concern.

"Arrow wound... poison... nothing serious." She slurred dreamily, smiling as her eyes drooped slightly and she swayed, looking intoxicated. Legolas wasn't listening. He urged Victoria to say good-night and then brought her to her tent without a word, leaving a confused and startled Faerlain in his wake.

Faerlain had risen to his feet by the time Legolas came back from settling Victoria down for the night. She had fallen asleep even before her head touched the pillow. The tall, grey-eyed elf stood staring into the flames- a frown on his face and his features twisted into an expression of puzzlement.

It was difficult... after Faerlain had rescued him the two had been close for a long time before Faerlain had returned home. Faerlain knew something was wrong now... and Legolas also knew that his friend... former friend... had changed. Had changed very much.

"Thinking?" Legolas asked casually as he approached the fire.

Faerlain turned his gaze to him. He almost seemed surprised to see Legolas there. No more surprised then I am to find you alive, my old friend. He mused silently.

"Is she asleep?" Faerlain asked softly.

It had snowed earlier but Legolas didn't feel it. He inclined his head. "She was exhausted... she had a long day."

Faerlain nodded- pursed his lips. "What happened... Legolas?" He asked quietly.

And again, Legolas was speechless. When at last he found his voice his words were slow and careful. "Where have you been?"

Faerlain looked down. "I was on the borders after the massacre..." He paused, choosing the right words for what he wanted to say. "I came back here to find her... and I did."

Empty answers- but Legolas wasn't one to pry. If Faerlain wished to hide something from him... fine. They weren't exactly close anymore anyway. But there was no pretending now- Legolas could admit to himself that he was starting to regret Faerlain's resurrection... no matter how much joy it brought to Victoria.

"She was in the graveyard today... saying good-bye."

Faerlain looked at him curiously. "To whom?"

"This place... the people she loved... you."

Faerlain winced and turned away. Legolas sighed.

"You've been gone for a long time, Faerlain. I am not the one who should answer your questions." It hurt him to speak, hurt him to think that he might lose her... after everything that she might slip through his fingers once more. That everything that had happened, she would be gone. But it was the right thing to do- it was what she would have wanted of him.

"You should talk to her." He continued. "She has been hurt too many times." He turned without a word for the tents. "Good night."

But Faerlain didn't respond- his gaze remained transfixed in the flames.

It was a dark and misty night- the kind dreams come from. And I felt half of my mind lulling me back to sleep as I awoke. But I was awake now- which meant telling myself to go back to sleep was pointless since half of me was already awake. I sat up, blinking the remains of sleep from my eyes and glancing around.

I was in a tent and I could vaguely remember Legolas tucking me in. He had been talking to me but I'd been too giddy with fever and happiness to listen. My mind was still now and the camp was quiet. I was still wearing my presentation gown. I pushed the covers from my body and I wondered if it had all been a dream... a wonderful dream. But it hadn't been- I knew that.

I stood and, peering out of my tent flaps, I saw no one. I knew subconsciously that the warriors would be keeping guard around the borders of the village. There were a few other tents set up and if I had known which one was Legolas' I would have gone to him... I felt... confused. But I didn't know.

There had been no conflict in my heart up until this point- only ecstasy. Now here it was- the throbbing beginnings that I knew would soon burn with an intensity I might never satisfy. And yet I knew no way to stop it. I didn't have long to ponder on my conflicting feelings however- for I thought I heard someone walking out on the snow. My eyes strained in the darkness to find the perpetrator. Elves move soundlessly- but I was the only non-immortal currently in the village. Something must be wrong.

I slipped out of my tent, spying the dark figure who had come to a halt on the edge of the village square and was now staring down the street to the forest. The fire was dying but by its weakly flickering flames I could see the tall figure with long, dark hair that I had come to recognize as Faerlain. My mouth twitched in a soft smile but I couldn't find the right words to use. I moved silently to his side and placed a hand on his broad shoulder.

He winced slightly- he felt cold. But when he looked over his shoulder at me his eyes warmed and he placed his own hand over mine, dwarfing its size. "Have trouble sleeping?" I asked as I moved in front of him and for a moment, Faerlain's eyes were all that spoke. They were full of warmth... tenderness.

"I don't sleep often anymore." He said at last.

That wasn't healthy, even for an elf. But I decided not to say anything about it as I slipped my hand into his own and squeezed it. Faerlain looked at me once over and an unbidden smile formed on his lips. "You found it?"

I glanced down at my faded dress. "Yes." I said simply, not knowing where to begin or how to explain all that had been left previously unsaid. He understood.

"And you are feeling better?"

I nodded, flushing slightly in embarrassment. "I was a little... excited."

Faerlain nodded- still smiling. "It was amusing- I don't usually have that affect on people." I wondered if he was talking about Legolas. His words were soft- but they were full of a deeper meaning, one I hoped I didn't understand. But for me, taken as they were, they were a renewal of that dry humor of his I used to love. I chuckled. There was an awkward silence for a moment and then questions began to whirl around in my head so fast that I thought I might burst.

My smile faded and I realized that I was clutching his hand so tightly that my knuckles were whitening. I looked up at him and with my free hand I turned his gaze to mine so that I could look into his eyes. "Where have you been?" I asked huskily, not daring to speak above a whisper for fear that my voice might break. Faerlain's eyes closed and I felt him start to tremble in my grasp.

Concern flooded my mind and I caressed his cheek. "Hey... hey..." I cooed, unnerved to see him so shaken. He seemed unable to speak for a moment and I tugged at his hand. "Come on." I said gently. "I want to show you something."

I led him to the edge of the village and the snow covered the trees. The warriors let us pass though I had a feeling they wouldn't be far. Faerlain had to duck under a few, low hanging branches but I could see by the expression on his face that he had no idea where we were going. A smile twitched at the corners of my mouth as I pulled him faster along a path I would remember until the day I died.

"Here we are." I said to him and last and I stopped as we reached a clearing by a frozen stream. I was breathless as I turned back to face him and Faerlain's brows were creased.

"Where are we?" He asked.

The stream had frozen over, and I could still see by the glow of the star-trees that a few flowers remained still on their branches. A warm light danced over us in the darkness.

"Don't you remember?" I asked in Sindarin. "This is where we used to have our lessons."

Faerlain's eyes widened as he released my hand, gazing around in wonder. "I remember now." He said, brushing his hand over the rough bark of the old willow tree. He turned round to look at me, eyes shining.

"I still have it you know." I said, pulling out the medallion from under my tunic.

His eyes rested upon it and a pained look appeared on his face. My smile faded and the tormented question I'd wondered for so long sprang unbidden to my lips once more. "Where have you been?" Could he even begin to understand what I had suffered because of him? For him? He was trembling again, but I didn't move to comfort him. This was our barrier. This was what was keeping us apart.

He looked at me, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "Victoria... I was-" He faltered but he didn't finish for a long moment. I stared at him, frozen. My hands clenched into fists at my sides. He looked at me again and I felt his sorrow and his tears in all of a moment and I wished I could take him into my arms and tell him everything was all right- but it wasn't.

"I was looking for you." He said brokenly.

My heart stopped beating.

He shook his head, bit his lip. "I was looking for you... everywhere."

A/N: Yes... I am sorry medears. There is angst yet to come. Now I have to thank everyone for their support- I am only a few reviews away from 700! That's AMAZING! Thank you all so much:) I will not reveal anything about what is to come. Only that I promise this story won't fall into the plot as most Legomances w/ a love triangle. :)

In the mean time, I hope you are all thankful for this rather quick update. I'm so close to the end of the story that, while I'll be sad when this is all over, I'm actually rather anxious to finish it. :) Also, I NEED to finish it before my semester starts (8/28) because I'm enrolled full time this year and I will have NO life for a while. :) Thanks to everyone for their good luck wishes! I'm taking 5 classes... mostly core classes I need for my degree which won't really be all that interesting. Ah well. What really sucks is that my first class, a 4 hour bio class, stars on my b-day. (8/28) So from 5:30 to 9:30 PM I'll be doing biology. How sucky is that:P Well... not to have a pity party here. I won't bore you any longer.

Thanks for all your reviews and support! I am astounded by all the reviews I've been getting for these chapters, thank you all so much! And thanks, of course, to my beta Kiann. :) Toodles all:)

TO BE CONTINUED...