This was deleted by Fanfiction because they decided it was too offensive… screw them! I know there were some rated M parts though… so I got rid of some swearing and whatnot… some chapters are lost forever though… also know that these are making fun of advertisements that don't come on anymore… so BLEH!

ADVERTIZEMENTS SSBM STYLE!

PART 1:

Disclaimer: If I own anything in this fan fiction I don't know about it yet

WOOT WOOT! I liked this one… it came to me In a moment of uninspired stupidity… (if someone else did this than I'm sorry cause I never remember reading one of these)

ICP!

PART 1! SPRITE!

Mario and Luigi were sitting on the roof of a very very very tall building.

"Ya know" Mario says. "I could go for a refreshing Sprite"

Luigi agreed and went inside to get the Sprite… little did he know… there was only ONE SPRITE LEFT!

Luigi got back holding one Sprite.

"Mario! This is the last one!" Luigi yelled and then started to drink it. Mario jumped up and charged at Luigi, but it was too late, Luigi had already started drinking it.

"NOOOOOOO!" Mario screamed and then started attacking. A battle had started on the roof between these two Sprite fanatics.

As they fought over the sprite, that Afro Sprite Doll thing from the advertisements jumped up and yelled. "GIMME MY FRESH CRISP LEMON LIME SPRITE BABY!… SHOW EM MY MOTTO!"

Sadly, as the Sprite Logo was talking, Mario launched a fireball at him, melting him to the floor.

"AHHH! I REALLY NEED THAT SPRITE NOW! I'M BURNING!" the logo screamed.

As the Sprite guy was dieing, Luigi grabbed Mario and flung him over the edge of the very very very tall building. Mario slapped into the ground in pain, but wasn't dead. Then an ambulance went to get him, but ran him over instead. Mario died.

"HAHAHA BROTHER! I WIN! YOU AREN'T THE BEST ONE AFTER ALL NOW ARE YOU!" Luigi screamed and started to take another drink.

Just before Luigi had taken a drink, Peach waked up to him and winked. Before he knew it, Luigi had given his Sprite to Peach. Realizing what he had done he pulled out a baseball bat and started beating Peach with it. Zelda had then walked by to witness the horrid scene. She gasped in horror.

"THAT'S MY SPRITE!" she yelled and turned into Sheik. She then flung ten needles expertly at Luigi, hitting only his hands and not the Sprite. Luigi dropped the Sprite and dueled Sheik. Sadly, Luigi could never hope to stand up to Sheik in a match, so he just pulled a gun and mowed her down instead. Amazingly, he did this while he still had ten needles stuck in his hands (he did it all for the Sprite).

It seemed that Luigi was going to be getting his Sprite now. But just as he was about to drink it, the melted logo jumped up onto his face and bit his eyes out. "HAHAHAHAHA! DIE!" the Sprite Logo screamed whilst chewing on the eyeballs of Luigi. Luigi died of an ear infection.

The Sprite Logo dude was the only one left now, and he was all alone with his sprite.

"YECH! THOSE EYES TASTED NASTY! SO I'LL JUST WASH IT DOWN WITH THAT FRESH CRISP LEMON LIME FLAVOR OF SPRITE!" the Logo said triumphantly. But there was a problem. The Sprite was larger than the logo, so the logo couldn't drink it. He sure tried though.

The Sprite Afro Logo thing sat and melted on to the floor… again… when Link walked in.

"Cool! A Sprite!" Link said and picked it up. Then Link left.

"NOOO! Don't leave me! All I wanted was the FRESH CRISP LEMON LIME FLAVOR OF A SPRITE!" cried the Sprite Afro Logo thing as the scene slowly faded away. Suddenly a hawk swooped down and carried the logo away to be fed to its young.

The camera went higher and higher to show just how much blood was shed in that building on that fateful day… barely any.

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PART 2! COKE! (not the drugs you stupid person!)

Fox and Falco were hanging out in an alleyway being the cool people they were.

"BE REAL! OH YEAH BE YOURSELF!" they started singing some cheesy song that you never really cared about and then pulled out some Cokes.

The song was saying something about expressing yourself as Pikachu was frying Ash with his electric attack, he then stole Ash's Coke. The song then started to talk about freedom as Dr. Mario got jumped by Gannondorf outside of an alleyway and got his Coke stolen. Dr. Mario tried to fight back, but got punched and flew back into the building across the street.

Back to Fox and Falco. They were still hangin in the alleyway when Marth and Roy came up and joined in. They all sang along to the song.

"BE REAL! OH YEAH BE YOURSELF!"

It was talking about peace and love as Mr. G&W was break dancing on the sidewalk. Sadly, he fell through a crack in the ground and was never seen again. It started to talk about friendship as Jigglypuff and Kirby danced through a fountain of water. They were then launched up due to how light they were and how much pressure the water was giving. They were never seen again.

The whole SSBM crew was now here (with the obvious exceptions of Dr. Mario, Mr. G&W, Jigglypuff, and Kirby) and they were singing.

"BE REAL! OH YEAH BE YOURSELF!"

They were on the roof now, dancing and singing whilst drinking their Cokes. The roof couldn't hold their weight though, and so it collapsed, killing them all.

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PART 3! SSBM ACTION FIGURES!

Ness, Popo, and Nana were all sitting by the table playing with their new SSBM ACTION FIGURES!

"I PULL OUT NESS WITH THE ABILITY TO SHOOT OUT PK CRAP FROM HIS BUTT!" Ness said as he bent the action figure over, pressed a button, and caused a little brown piece of plastic to hit the Ice Climbers' action figures.

"OH NO!" screamed the Ice Climbers in unison, then they moved THEIR action figures around.

"WE USE OUR TEAM ATTACK!" they screamed. As they said this they pressed buttons on the Eskimo figures and beat the Ness figure until it turned red.

"YAY!" everyone said.

Narrator: ARE YOU BORED! ARE YOU TOO STUPID TO JUST PLAY THE ACTUAL GAME! WELL THEN THE SSBM ACTION FIGURES ARE FOR YOU!

Gannondorf and Mewtwo were playing with their figures too.

"I USE MY DARK BLAST THINGYMABOB!" Mewtwo yelled in a creepy kids voice and pressed a button. A purple ball that was attached to the action figures hand launched about five inches.

"I DODGE AND USE MY DARK PUNCH THINGYMABOB!" Gannondorf yelled and pressed his own button. The figure's fist flew into Mewtwo's figure's face knocking it clean off.

"OH WOW!" they both screamed.

Narrator: THAT'S RIGHT! YOUR ACTION FIGURES CAN USE ALL THE MOVES THE GAME'S CHARACTERS CAN USE! AND MUCH MORE! PLUS YOUR FIGURES CAN GET BLOODY AND DECAPITATED!

"I USE MY SUCK ABILITY!" Kirby screamed pressing a button on his figure. Its mouth was already open, but a sucking noise came out.

"OH NO!" Captain Falcon screamed and threw his character into Kirby's figure's mouth. Its head was sucked off.

"IT'S FUN!" they both yelled.

Narrator: If you're a dip! And you want to play with these instead of the actual video game! Then call our number at 1-900-haha-dip!

All the characters were then holding their figures in this big crowded room. They raised their figures above their head.

"YES!" they screamed.

Then Kirby died because I said so.

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PART 4! Something Mobile! (I know it was a phone commercial… but that's all)

Roy and Marth were just sitting there, minding their own business, when a flood of fan girls all came charging at them and started to tear Marth and Roy apart in their fan girl glory.

"Ah! Call Link! Get him to bring the little one and our swords so we can cut our way out of this!" Roy screamed dramatically, this caused some of the fan girls to faint and get crushed by the rest of the mob.

"I'm not calling! I'm roaming!" Marth replied with a muffled voice as girls were surrounding him.

Then Kirby popped up from out of the girls.

"Help us Kirby! Call for help!" Roy and Marth cried.

"I would! But it's daytime hours!" Kirby said and then tried to help his friends by eating all the fan girls he could.

Marth and Roy were getting carried away in a sea of fan girls… and four fan boys (EWW!) when DK appeared and started pounding away at the crowed, killing faceless nobodies.

"Please DK! Call for help!" the two screamed.

"Sorry! But calling now would cost a fortune!" DK screamed.

Some fan girls had turned on Kirby now, as his sucking power couldn't get them all.

"OH HE'S SOOOO CUTE!" they shrieked and ran towards him as he screamed in horror. Kirby thought about calling, but decided he would rather die then pay extra charges. Kirby was then popped by the crowed of fan girls. He died.

Young Link came into the room shooting his arrows, but the fan girls just turned on him too.

"WE NEED TO GET MASTER HAND! OR GANNONDORF! HE'S SO UGLY THE CROWD WOULD RUN!" Y. Link said.

Then the weird girl in the all white room was sitting there with Marth and Roy.

"Call anytime, anywhere, with no overages and no roaming charges" she said.

"Anytime?" Roy and Marth both asked, shocked.

"Anytime" she said grinning.

Then a fan girl came running at Marth, but he sliced her head off.

YAY!

Well everybody… I'm tired and I'm out of ideas for now… but I will update when I see an advertisement that's worth dissing…

And don't worry if I make fun of something you like, I make fun of things I like too. But insults are always fun!

Oh… and tell me if you see an advertisement you want here!

R&R! even if you don't know how to type… somehow figure out a way to review!

So there you go… limited changes… only where the story REALLY needed it and stuff… I don't think it's something that should be banned… but knowing Fanfiction, I'm screwed.