Iron Chef: Amestris
Secret Ingredient
Hughes pulled, over dramatically, the white sheet, revealing a large mound of pink shellfish. "Is shrimp!"
"What?" Ed immediately turned to Hughes, "Who are you calling a shrimp?"
Al sighed and tried as best he could to hold back his brother. Before Ed could do anything, a flying wrench met its mark, the back of his head.
"Ow, Winry, what was that for?" Ed whined, rubbing his head. Al sighed again.
"We're not here to fight over your height. We're here to win on the show and take home that prize money, so I can buy my new parts!" Winry said, another wrench in hand already, "You'll just have to deal with that weirdo over there."
"Hey, I'm not a weirdo!" Envy interjected.
"I don't care! Shut up and work together!" Winry commanded.
"You know, somehow, her sense of ruthless command remind me of you, Hawkeye." Roy commented on the other side of the set. And immediately he was staring down the barrel of two pistols.
"What was that colonel?" Riza asked, voice deadly.
"Eh, hehe…Nothing first lieutenant." Roy replied, backing away slowly.
Fuery sighed as he watched from the control room, behind the multiple TV monitors. Running television shows were extremely difficult. He turned to Falman, "I told you it was a bad idea having the colonel and Ed on the show, together."
"At least the viewer ratings will go up. The girls, and maybe the guys, all love the colonel, and Ed, together." Falman said, crossing his arms, eyes analytically staring at the scene unfolding on stage. Fuery sighed again, no one seemed to be sharing his concerns.
"Hey, anyone seen those sandwiches?" Breda asked, stuffing the remains of his fourth sandwich into his mouth. Both Falman and Feury pointed towards the back.
"Uh, okay, anyways!" The camera zoomed in on Hughes, his face filling up the screen. "Who wants to see another picture-" Winry raised her wrench and Riza her pistol, Hughes stopped immediately.
"Right, right, right." Hughes strode across the stage, "Let the competition begin!"
And with those words, everyone snapped into action.
"Each team is now hard at work." Hughes noted, suddenly serious, "They each have only one hour to prepare a meal! We'll have to wait and see what these two mismatched teams will churn up! In the meanwhile, let's meet today's panel!"
Sitting in a balcony above the two kitchens were four people. Hughes climbed up the spiral staircase and stood next to the four seated judges.
"First up, we have no other than Fuhrer King Bradley!" The spotlight fell on the square faced man with the eye patch.
"Say what?" Roy asked, looking up from his stir fry upon hearing the name.
"Next, we have Hohenhiem of Light!" The spotlight moved on to the next seat.
"What?" A shout was heard from below, "Hohenhiem! Let me at him!"
"Brother! Watch the food! Brother!"
"Ed! Stop! You're going to knock over the pot!"
"Eh, alright, next we have…Black Hayate?" The spotlight fell on the small puppy, sitting in the chair, tongue hanging, tail waving. He barked. "Uh, well, that's unexpected…" More looks of confusion in the audience.
"Okay, and lastly we have Gluttony…" Hughes said, "A good food related Full Metal Alchemist show isn't complete without this homunculi! After all, he is the overall Major League Eating champion…of the world."
"Now that we've introduced the panel, let me show you another picture of my daughter! Look, she's with mommy in this one! They are so cute!" Hughes begins to ramble on. The camera slowly moves away from him and lands on the two teams cooking below.
"This is the Armstrong family's secret technique! Strong arm shrimp!" With a few flashy flexes of his huge muscles, pink sparkles flying everywhere, Armstrong tossed a plate of shrimp in the air and began punching them. They landed in the same fashion back on the plate, peeled and in a circular pattern.
"Armstrong family's secret shrimp cocktail sauce!" More ingredients thrown into the air and met the fists of the bulky Major.
Snap! "Darn it! Burned another one!" Roy Mustang was frustrated. His alchemy was of no use in cooking. All he did was burn excessively every dish he tried to make. His stir fry was fine until he raised the flames too high and it ended being a black block of inedible ashes. His multiple attempts at cooking shrimp kebabs were not better. In the end, he was completely useless. All he could do was light the stove, and he did.
Jean Havoc glared at the shrimp, he will win the staring contest. He will not loose! Jean Havoc is not a looser! He is a winner! "Hey, where did the shrimp, uh, go?" Suddenly, from out under his noise, the plate of shrimp was gone. He looked left, he looked right and found his arch nemesis in the hands of the first lieutenant.
"Uh," He raised a hand to protest, he was not going to let the first lieutenant take credit for killing his enemy! He was a brave man capable of defeating shrimp. "Aw, what the hell." He said with a shrug, fetched a cigarette and struck the flint wheeling, lighting the tobacco. He'll just deal with the cucumbers.
Riza poured the shrimp into the saucepan over the red gumbo sauce. Humming a tune to herself, she began stirring it. After four minutes she divided the rice into four plates and poured shrimp gumbo on the rice.
On the other side of the set, Ed, Al, Winry and Envy were having slight problems.
"No! Ed! You're burning it!" Al shrieked and rushed over to the plate pot of food.
"Uh! Damn carrots! Why does part 11B not fit into 11B-3?" Winry asked hovering over a plate of carrots trying to assemble the pieces into a flower to adorn a plate of shrimp.
"Bam! Kick it up a notch!" Emeril was throwing a dash of random spices into a pan. "Yeah! Bam!"
"Envy! That isn't helping!" Al ran past him a pot of hot boiling shrimp in his hands.
"Ugh! Forget this!" A clap and the crackle of transmutation later, Ed transformed what used to be the ingredients of shrimp spring rolls into a spear. "Oh damnit! That wasn't right!"
"Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried." A strange slow, southern drawl came from where Emeril, rather Envy was standing. The cameras all swung in the direction of the voice. Everyone on the set stopped and looked over. Standing there, instead of Emeril or Envy was a black man in green fatigues circa the Vietnam War era.
"There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it." The man finished and looked around blankly at the audience. Then, a familiar grin known to be Envy's crossed his face.
And another wrench was set flying. "What the hell do you think you're doing!" Winry screamed.
"Thirty minutes remaining." A voice broadcasted over loudspeakers.
"WHAT?"
"Ah, the competitors only have thirty minutes left!" Hughes announced. "Let's talk to the panel on what they think of the dishes so far!"
"Interesting." King Bradley said, one tentative eyebrow raised, eyeing the dishes Armstrong was preparing.
"I've never cooked, Trisha always did the cooking. I'm not really sure how my kids, Envy included, are going to pull through this. At least they got Winry." Hohenhiem said with a shrug.
"Bark! Bark! Bark!"
"Gluttooooooonyyyy! Foood! Food! Where is Lust? I want Lust!"
"We've only got thirty minutes left and we haven't made one dish! The rate we're going, we're gonna loose!" Winry screamed and pointed at Armstrong who was performing another secret technique.
"Eh, Winry calm down." Ed said, scratching his head. "We're going to be alright."
"Yeah." Winry said in a lower voice.
"Aw, that's so cute!" Envy said.
"Shuddap!" Ed and Winry shouted in unison.
"Colonel!" Riza shouted, "What did you do with the rice?" She asked.
Roy pointed a black mountain of ashes. Riza sighed and shook her head. So much for the sushi idea.
"It's okay, sir." Riza said, nodding sympathetically.
"I'm not much of a cook, lieutenant." Roy replied. He glanced at Armstrong who had a seemingly endless supply of secret techniques.
"What if we sabotage them?" Envy asked, picking at his nails.