How to Write:
"The Ultimate Explosion Final Battle Life or Death Amazing Astounding Epic Fatal Grand Super Smash Brothers Tournament!"
at school.

By tikitikirevenge (in case you couldn't tell from my name up there).

The Invitations Come In (Part 1)

The Mario brothers were sitting in Peach's castle, talking about plumbing, saving the world, cheesy spin-offs, and the quality of the food there.

"This food is-a excellent," said Mario. (--Oh, the mocking Italian accent isn't necessary, but it makes you look quite clever.--)

"I know," said Peach, smiling vacantly. (Peach is so easy to kidnap because she is both light and light-headed.)

"I completely agree," said Luigi.

"I know," said Peach, smiling vacantly once again.

"Are you-a okay?" wondered Mario.

Before Peach could give him the same irrelevant response, the evil king of the Koopas burst through the wall! (I'm referring to Bowser
here)

"Hello, you little runts!" he cackled maniacally. "I'm here to kidnap Princess Peach!"

"I'm a kidnapped party!" said Peach vacantly.

Bowser sighed. "Whatever happened to the captives who put up a struggle?"

Peach squeezed herself into Bowser's suitcase and somehow locked it from the inside.

"Ah, well. You Mario brothers, having bad reaction times, won't be able to chase me until I'm well clear of the castle! Oh, incidentally,
how are you going to try to catch me this week?" Luigi said, "We were originally going to suggest-a golf, but we did that last week."

"How about a darts tournament to reclaim your princess?" said Bowser.

The Mario brothers nodded agreement.

"I'll be going, then," Bowser concluded, picking up his suitcase.

"Yay!" said Peach. "I mean, pleh! Uh? I mean, help!"

A Koopa ran up to Bowser. "Sir, you have a letter here."

"Mail? Me?" said Bowser. "I have friends?" He started to cry in joy. Realising that several people were watching, he added, "That was
me mocking you. Mocking. I'm not emotionally weak." "I have two letters for you," said the Koopa, handing identical envelopes to the Mario brothers.

Opening it, Mario frowned. "Isn't this the same-a… Master Hand is still at it?"

"It seems so," said Luigi.

Bowser was reading his letter. "Let me guess," he said. "You also got invited to a 'Smash Brothers' tournament."

"We've been to this before," said Mario.

"So that's where you went last year while I was in bed with Fleur- I mean, the flu."

"Well, we're going," said Luigi. "It was fun, wasn't it?"

(--I'm breaking convention here by explaining why the Smash Brothers want to return to the tournament which nearly killed them last time.--)

"I might as well go," said Bowser. "Here, you can have your damsel back." He opened the suitcase and threw Peach at the Mario brothers, who ducked.

Peach hit the wall head first. Amazingly, this didn't affect her capacity to think at all.

"Hi, you old turnips!" she said.

Okay, it's not that amazing.

"Hey!" said Peach, racing to the Koopa before hopping on the spot. "Is that letter for me?"

"Actually, it's addressed to 'Occupant'-"

Peach snatched the envelope and opened it. "Ooh!" she said. "A fighting competition! With me invited!"

"Is she going?" said Bowser. "I'm not going if she's going."

"I'm afraid you have to come," said Mario.

Bowser then noticed the line on the letter saying, 'You have to come.'

"Well, if I have to come, I'd better come, then," he said.

(--Everyone here has agreed; so we don't care if the Mushroom Kingdom burns down. On to the next few people.--)

Somewhere very different, a Pikachu and a Pichu were exploring the newly built stadium at Kanto. (--Never commit. I can copy or make up their backgrounds later.--)

"Pichu chipu pu-chi-pu-chi-pu, chi?" said Pichu. Translated: "Does it strike you as odd that a barrel containing two letters addressed to us exploded right before us?"

"Pikachu, chu pichuka kapi kachipa chika chikapi pi pich pichka chu chupi kapi chu paka chu pachu chu." "Yes."

The two Pokemon examined the letters. "Pichu chu?" "What does it say?"

"Pikachu; chu." "It says that we are invited to a fighting tournament somewhere far away from here where we will compete to become champion – hey! This is exactly like the one I went to last year - how on earth did that happen? I thought we killed the organiser during a food fight that got slightly out of hand!"

"Pichu." "I'm Pichu."

Pikachu threw Pichu into a wall.

Moving right along:

Captain Falcon was simultaneously winning the F-Zero final for the third year in a row, punching his nemesis Blood Falcon in the nose and killing several highly dangerous criminals, when his phone rang.

"Drat," he said, trying to pick the phone up with his shoes so that he could keep on steering and elbowing Blood Falcon's gut. It didn't work.

"Could we hold it for a moment?" he said to Blood Falcon.

Blood Falcon shrugged, giving C. Falcon an opportunity to push his nemesis off the hovercar.

Captain Falcon picked up the phone, steering around a giant pile-up floating in the air. (I do not endorse using a phone while driving, especially while reverse-parking. And, of course, using a mobile phone while drag racing isn't one of my life priorities either. So don't sue me for damages.)

"Hello?" he said.

"This is… hm… call me 'Mister H.'," said the voice on the other end.

"What do you want with me, Mister H? I don't like your attitude!"

"I only just gave you my name-"

"For the last time, I'm straight! I don't do guys! And if you call me back I'll r-"

"I'd like you to come to a fighting competition," said the voice.

"Oh." Captain Falcon mentally slapped himself. "Ouch!" he said (it was a highly lucid slap). "Hey… are you the same guy who invited me to one of those last year?"

"Uh, noo… of course not… I'm not Master Hand…"

"How did you know it was Master Hand?" said C. Falcon suspiciously.

'Mister H' suddenly sounded like a dial tone.

Captain Falcon shrugged. There was no reason not to go; so as soon as he rammed the enemy cars into the innocent civilians and crossed the finish line, he resolved to pack his bags. Well, bag. Same thing.

Marth and Roy were sitting at a censored to watch some dancing censored censored censored, one of whom Marth was married to when he had censored censored censored censored censored censored. After the censored, they had wild hot censored censored censored censored until Roy accidentally was mistaken as a female llama and subsequently censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored. As a matter of fact, the censored was really a censored, so Marth "just had to censored it with him", censored-ing the censored censored and of course, the censored.

"Open the letter," urged Roy, tightening the straps on the censored.

"Dear Marth and Roy," read Marth. "You are invited to a Smash Brothers tournament, where you will fight to become the ultimate champion. I know you won't want to come, but if you do, I promise you that you-know-who as well as a few new girls censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored but strangely familiar method of communication: perhaps if the alpha particles censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored triple topless bi's all night censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored, and of course some money to spend on such things as censored censored censored censored censored."

"Sounds good," said Roy. "Let's go!"

"Is that dirt on your censored?" said Marth.

A random Pokemon trainer was trying to capture Mewtwo, with limited success.

"Really, human," said Mewtwo. "Do you think you can defeat me?" He hurled a ball of psychic energy (how is psychic energy physical?) at the trainer.

"Agh!" said the person (if you've any ideas for names, shut up). "I'm down to my last Pokemon!" Dramatic music began to play.

"Show me your worst," said Mewtwo. Using his psychic powers to read minds, he said, "Wow, that is bad."

"Jigglypuff! I choose you!"

The Jigglypuff stumbled out of the Pokeball, grabbed Mewtwo drunkenly, and latched onto his face.

"Get off!" thought Mewtwo, trying to telekinetically pry the puffball from his face.

"?jig jiggly Puffji jiggypuffypiggle jjjjjjjjjjjjpuff!" said Jigglypuff.

Some mailman arrived and gave invitations to Jigglypuff and Mewtwo. "You two have been invited to a fighting competition!"

"Jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig jig!" said Jigglypuff. "Irish dance Irish dance Irish dance Irish dance Irish dance Irish dance Irish dance Irish dance Irish dance!"

"What about me?" said the trainer. "Don't I deserve-"

A truck full of irony ran over the trainer.

"Ah, irony," said Mewtwo. "It's funny to read about." He was hit by an IFO (ironic flying object).

Next chapter: More of this pointless junk! Until then, please review. And no flames, because I'm wearing a fireproof suit! Take that, flamers! Flame this! What? No, you're not allowed to take off the suit. No! No, I'm sorry! Uh oh.