How to Write:
"The Ultimate Explosion Final Battle Life or Death Amazing Astounding Epic Fatal Grand Super Smash Brothers Tournament!"
at school.

By tikitikirevenge (or is it? Tense staccato string interlude.)

The Arrival

(--There are three main ways you can write this chapter: a one liner, a whitespacelessparagraphwhichreallycouldusesomeformatting, or the widely criticised "chapter with actual content". I personally prefer to write chapters that I can't read in half a minute, but I can understand the need to update frequently, so that you don't disappoint your non-existent readers. To make as many people as possible as happy as possible, I present the three typical versions of this typical chapter.--)

A: The one liner

All the Smash Brothers arrived and met each other. Please read and review!

B: The unformatted rundown

(--I couldn't be bothered writing a proper, old-fashioned illegible chapter, so here's Microsoft Word's take on version C.--)

Everyone turned around. Behind them had appeared – Master Hand! (Wow. The giant floating hand approached the Smash Brothers. 1111111111 MISTR HNAD!" said Sonic. "Maybe," said Sonic. "It was Sonic," said Bowser.

"Oh," said Falco. Master Hand approached them, causing the Smash Brothers to back away uneasily. "Welcome, all of you!" said Master Hand. "We're living in a hypothetical house?" said Mewtwo. "NERD!" shouted Captain Falcon, trying to hit Ness with a hammer. At the last moment Ness dived out of the way, resulting in the hammer hitting Captain Falcon. Everyone stopped to admire the expression on Captain Falcon's face. Spare part?" Master Hand continued. I mean, I will personally fight them! Next chapter… the fights!

C: The decent version (which everyone refuses to read)

All of the Smashers arrived at the meeting spot proclaimed in the letter. They turned and saw a large hotel-like structure.

"What is this?" said Roy, confused. "Is this one of those high-class broth-censored censored?"

"No," said a voice.

Everyone turned around. Behind them had appeared – Master Hand! (Wow. Even I didn't expect that one. Really.) The giant floating hand approached the Smash Brothers. "It looks as if some of us meet again."

"OH NOES!1111111111 MISTR HNAD!" said Sonic.

"What are you doing here?" said Bowser. "You're no Nintendo character!"

"Maybe," said Sonic. "But I have an awesome speed attack and can beat everyone!"

In her confusion, Peach dropped a paper clip, KO'ing Sonic.

"Did you just kill someone with a paper clip?" said Falco.

"It was Sonic," said Bowser.

"Oh," said Falco. "Fair enough."

Master Hand approached them, causing the Smash Brothers to back away uneasily.

"Welcome, all of you!" said Master Hand. "Okay; now that you're here I'll lay down the ground rules. Firstly, this place, the 'smash mansion', is the usual explanation of where you all live when not fighting. It's purely hypothetical, but I assure you it is very comfortable."

"We're living in a hypothetical house?" said Mewtwo. "But-"

"It's quite plausible," said Ness. "I know that you don't believe in ZZZ theory, but it has been proven that with the necessary willpower, you can reali-"

"NERD!" shouted Captain Falcon, trying to hit Ness with a hammer. At the last moment Ness dived out of the way, resulting in the hammer hitting Captain Falcon. Fortunately, it missed both of his legs and hit the vague area in between instead.

Everyone stopped to admire the expression on Captain Falcon's face.

"Well," said Zelda, suppressing a giggle, "it looks as if the driver will be needing a – what's the idiom? Spare part?"

"It's not funny!" said Captain Falcon, stepping on the edge of a rake, and sending the handle flying into his face. "Not funny at all!" He fell into a hole.
Master Hand continued. "It hasn't yet been decided who will be fighting who tomorrow, but whoever comes out on top will personally defeat me! I mean, I will personally fight them! I mean, you weren't supposed to find this out! I mean, look! Is it a bird?"

Everyone turned to the side, allowing for Master Hand to make his diabolical getaway.

"He got away-a!" exclaimed Mario, who was-a shocked-a.

The really extraordinary thing was that everyone had instantly made friends. Which was a good thing. Of course, I'll need dramatic tension, so some people made enemies. Which from the author's point of view is a good thing.

But the most exciting thing was yet to come. That's right! Next chapter… the fights!

So read it!

Oh, and review this chapter. Because I will… hm… a threat… take off my shirt if you don't.