A/N: Well, with immense concentration and...err, willpower, we have decided to come up with a new storyline that follows Snowbound. So, it takes place on a ship...Botan, Hiei, Kurama, and of course Yusuke, are travelling together to... dun dun dun... can't say yet! But the real question is...why did they all agree to set sail in the first place? Mysteries and secret lay in wait in this new fanfiction. Please do read and review! And, on with the tale of woe!
Sailing for Dummies
Kurama POV:
Day…Whatever… I lost count. Yusuke, Botan, Hiei and I have been on this vessel for who knows how long. Why you ask? Well, after the whole ordeal with Makai, Yusuke had told everyone that he SOMEHOW got the money to treat everyone to a "cruise" of sorts. He probably resorted to a Youko state of mind to get it done but I won't press charges against him. I'm too lazy to do it anyway.
"And another one bites the DUST!" One of the less sane members screamed. Hiei. I winced. I knew that he had snapped. We HAD been deprived of meaningless slaughter…my best friend's FAVORITE pastime. "Get back here in my CLUTCHES!" I noticed that Hiei was trying to catch dinner for us yet again. The rest of us always suckered him into it because it was obvious that he needed at least SOME stimulation aboard this rather horrid excuse for a "ship." Well…Hiei never usually minds catching dinner if it means killing something.
Usually…Hiei gets rather hyper during this interesting spectacle. Then as soon as he gets it, his face is enveloped into the habitual morose expression that he wears on a daily basis. Now that is the Hiei that we know for sure. "Hn…baka…" He muttered as I exchanged a rueful glance with my fire demon friend.
I also noticed something. Yusuke was peering through an empty glass bottle. Alcohol I presume. He had downed at least four bottles and was obviously on the verge of becoming intoxicated sometime soon. That of course would be an iota worse than Hiei's sudden and random bursts of being hyper. "AHOY MATES!" He screamed in a grating voice all of a sudden. I plugged up my ears. I am doomed for sure.
Botan POV:
Thank Kami-sama that I got my own room. Power to being female!!!!! Ahem. Anyway. Not the point. What IS the point, you might ask?
"With Gilligan! The Skipper tooooo! The miiiiiiillionaaaaaiiire and his wiiiiiife! The movie STAR, the Professor aaaaand Mary Anne, HERE ON GILLIGAN'S IIIIIIIISLE!!!!!!"
...That, my friend, is the point.Yes, Yusuke is off-the-wall wasted and there is not a thing I can do about it except stay locked in my room. And yes, I am technically speaking to myself. But oh well. Insanity is relative, just like everything else.
Ah, I see you have noticed my lack of...um...bubblyness. That would be because I GET MOTION SICKNESS!!!!! Ironic, isn't it, considering I'm always flying around on an oar. But that's a SMOOTH ride. This...this is not smooth. This is wavy and rocky and unstable and...ug, I'm gonna be sick...
I buried my head in the pillow. So...seasick...need...land... Bleh.
"Vie va la BACON!!!!"
I raised my head up momentarily.
"SHUT THE HELL UP, YUSUKE-BAKA!!!!!!'"
There wasa period ofsilence, during whichI smashed my head back into the pillow and tried to hold my lunch down. Then the chaos began again.
"NO! You'll NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!!!" Yusuke.
"Quick, grab him before he gets away!" Kurama.
"Hn. Make me." Hiei.
"No, Yusuke, don't go that way--" The ship gave a particularly violent buck and I raced into the bathroom.
SPLOOSH
"...MAN OVERBOARD!!!!" cried Kurama reluctantly. For a moment I thought the someone was Yusuke, until I realized that I could hear him laughing insanely at the poor unfortunate in the water.
If I weren't feeling so completely crappy I'd almost feel sorry for Hiei.
Yusuke POV:
He looks like lassie! Swim doggy swim before the ol' prospector shoots you! Come on! I've got dog treats! Surprisingly enough, I do and I toss one overboard. It hits Hiei on the head.
"You're going to FUCKING pay!" He yells.
"I don't have any money," I shout back. I throw another dog treat at him. It lands in his mouth because he's busy screaming his ugly head off at me! Yay! Y'know, maybe we should be a team of performance circus people thingies… Yeah, that would really be cool and then I could drop school and make money and then Kurama can play the girl! "Hey Kurama! After we save lassie, ya wanna get to the uncharted island, skip the three hour tour, and play circus performers!?"
He gives me a really mean look for some reason. I just smile happily. "Yusuke, of all the crazy schemes…"
"WHAT!? WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO THE BAKA!?" Hiei! Yay! He's ALIVE!
Kurama smacked himself in the head and hoisted a rope out from his hair. I guess he forgot that Hiei was drowning! THAT'S FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!
Once Kurama gets Hiei back on board, he pulls out his katana. "I hope you're ready for the word: filet…" He seethed.
I shrug. "I'm not on iron chef, am I?"
Hiei POV:
I cannot express in words the anger that I feel right now. It CANNOT be expressed. All I really know right now is that I am extremely happy that Yusuke is now qualified as a hanyou rather than a ningen. For he is about to die. A slow, painful death to be sure.
...Or he would have, except that Kurama tied me up with his DAMNED WHIP and threw me in a closet while simultaneously knocking the soon-to-be deceased nutcase unconscious and dragging him away. He claimed this was for our own good. He will pay as well.
Once I get these knots undone, that is. And it doesn't look too good. DAMNIT!!!! I WILL get out! If I must bite these thorns and thus cause myself to bleed in about a thousand different ways, there will be nothing that can stop me from—
Oh wait. I'm a fire demon. ...Hn. I knew that.
I burned through the ropes, cursing the intelligence drop that this trip has inflicted on me, and finally got free.
There. Ha. Take that, Kurama.
I yanked open the door and high-tailed it in the direction of some very distinct youki. I busted into the room and--
"DON'T WAKE HIM UP!!!!" the kitsune whispered loudly, eyes widening in panic.
I folded my arms and leaned against the doorframe. Like I was going to. It's a lot easier to bring about someone's demise when they're unconscious.
"Hn. WHAT are you doing to him?" I asked, pointing the vast amount of plants surrounding both the youko and the hanyou.
Kurama sweatdropped. "Well...I know I have SOMETHING in here that cures intoxication, but I just couldn't remember which one... I'm so used to just using the fighting plants and all, you know? There's a lot of different species to remember!"
I rolled my eyes. "I think you're just getting forgetful in your old age," I mocked.
Emerald eyes narrowed. "Watch it, Hiei."
"Duly noted," I replied sarcastically, leaving the room. Oh well. They'll just have to die later. I can wait.
Yusuke POV:
ZZZ…
Kurama POV:
Now which one was it…? I know that it was around here somewhere… You see, I may be a whiz when I am Minamino Shuuichi but Youko Kurama has some kinks that he needs to work out. Like WHICH plant is WHICH and which ones can HEAL and which ones can KILL y'know… "I just may end up killing Yusuke," I note forlornly.
Hiei just gives me one of his looks. "Hn, fine with me. I told you that the Tantei would pay, didn't I? It looks like I am always right."
Well he was right SOME of the time. That was all I could give him. Now YOUKO…huh, well. I wouldn't trust him. Well, that and the fact that since he's usually sounds out for blood, his plants would prove to be more harmful than helpful. Yeah, that's key.
I hold up one in particular and ask for Hiei's approval. He shrugs me off and so I, (proceeding with caution) mix it into a solute while keeping a close eye on Yusuke. He seems to be sleeping off his drunken state but I wouldn't put it past him if he were to be drunk for…oh say, 12 hours. THAT was how much he drank. And he didn't hold his alcohol well either, I might add. Nevertheless, I am quite sure that my medicine will cure him…though there IS a sudden doubt growing in my mind. Oh well, here goes nothing…
Botan POV:
Sleep is good. Sleep is lovely. Sleep is the best thing for a person with motion sickness. So being shocked out of it is Hell on Earth, let me tell you.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hmm. One...no, two voices. One decidedly male...way too deep to be female. Hiei. The other, almost female, but not quite. Kurama. Wonder what THEIR problem is...
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HIM, KURAMA?!!!!!"
"I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!! I DON'T KNOW!!!!! KAMI-SAMA, I HAVE THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN SEEDS WITH ME RIGHT NOW ALONE, DO YOU THINK I CAN REMEMBER THEM ALL?!!!!!!!"
"WELL JUST FIX IT THEN!!!!!!"
"I CAN'T, YOU FOOL!!!!! DID YOU NOT HEAR ME JUST SAY THAT I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT THIS DOES?!!! IF I CAN'T REMEMBER THE INFLICTION HOW THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO REMEMBER THE ANTIDOTE?!!!!!"
"JUST FIND AN EFFING WAY, KITSUNE!!!!!!!!!!"
"I'M TRYING, FORBIDDEN BRAT!!!!!"
Silence.
"...That was low, Kurama..."
"Yes, I apologize..."
"Yeah...but that's still disturbing..."
"So what do you want me to do about it?"
"Fix it."
"I'm trying."
"Try faster."
"I can't."
I rolled my eyes to myself. I was not about to get up to find out what they were talking about. No WAY. No HOW. I was NOT moving with this ailment.
"Hmm, do you think Botan will know anything about this?"
"Hn. Doubt it. I'll get her anyway."
I'm going to kill them soon.
Hiei POV:
Wait, why would I want the Tantei to be saved anyway? He was the one who threw those god awful dog 'treats' in my mouth when I was overboard! Not to mention that he has a very bad habit of being horribly annoying! There, that makes me feel better at least. But still, if Yusuke doesn't survive, I'll bet the ferry girl'll pin his death on me and then I'll have to spend some more time in this god forsaken place that I'd like to burn to the ground with my Kokuryuuha (if possible anyway). But let's just call it Reikai for those of you who take this PG-13 rating seriously. Hn. Ningens…
"What happened Hiei?" Botan screeched…in my ear… ow.
"Ittai nani ga, onna? Do you HAVE to yell!?" I 'screech' back just as loud.
"Well excuse me! I was just rudely awakened from my beauty nap thing! And here you go, acting like you're superior--"
"That's because I am."
"ARE NOT!"
"Are too."
"ARE NOT!"
"ARE TOO, ONNA!"
"ARE--" Botan stopped once she caught sight of what Kurama did to Yusuke and I burst out laughing. Her expression is quite priceless. And well you know, I love it when ningens (or death) freak out as if the end of the world is nigh. Hn. Not a problem with me anyway. It would be a hell of a lot more exciting to endanger Earth actually. Err, not the point…right. Hn. Yusuke-baka always takes the fun out of my sadistic mind…
Kurama POV:I could tell what Hiei was thinking the moment he and Botan entered the room, and I had to agree with him: Botan's expression WAS priceless. But then again...we DID accidentally make Yusuke bright green... Oh well...good thing most of the effects of my plants only last a few hours at most. Er, except the fatal ones, of course. And the Tree of Hallucinations. And any involving brain damage.But that aside...
"Um. Botan? I apologize for interrupting your...rest..." Botan looked very ready to kill me.
"You...wouldn't happen to know anything how to fix this, would you?"
The normally chipper ferry girl just kind of blinked blankly. Poor Botan. I think she has motion sickness. If only I had known...I have the perfect plant...funny, you'd think she'd be fine, considering she's always riding that oar of hers.
"Nope. No clue. Now please excuse me while I barf up an organ or something..." That said, she spun around on her heel and made a break for the bathroom.
Hiei just rolled his eyes. "She's useless," he sneered, slinking off as well to do...something... Sometimes not even I know what's going on in that youkai's head.
Well. Now it's just me and unconscious, green Yusuke. Might as well keep trying things--after all, there's a good chance that this could do something harmful to him, and if the boy's going to rule a third of Makai we can't have him wandering around with half a brain... Hmm, well, since it's Yusuke it would be more like a QUARTER of a brain...
I randomly fish a few seeds from my hair and stare at them. Let's see. Well, that one's a rose, and that one's the death plant, this is some blood-sucking thing (I have a lot of those), this is good as a smoke screen--hey, what's this one?
I turn the seed over curiously. It was a dark shade of brown, and oddly square. Funny, I have no memory of this one--perhaps I'm more human and less Youko than I thought. I set it on the ground and force a bit of ki into it, forcing it to grow. And grow it did...into this ugly, fat little thing with a bulbous bud, spiky green-brown leaves, and a wrinkled looking stem. Um. Wow. Better not judge a book by its cover, though: take ME, for example. I prod the plant experimentally with a finger.
...Okay. Bad idea. My face is now covered with VERY foul-smelling orange sap. At least it doesn't seem to be doing anything...all right, file this thing over just plain annoying. I coax it back into its seed form and stuff it back in my hair.
Hmm, come to think of it, I AM feeling a little bit lightheaded...
Forty-Five Seconds Later...
WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO MANY BRIGHT COLORS!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMANYSOMANYSOMANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE DO THEY ALL COME FROM?!!!! HEY LOOK, THERE'S A GUY WALKING DOWN THE HALLWAY! WOW HIS HAIR IS POINTY!!!!
"WOW DUDE YOUR HAIR IS REALLY POINTY!!!!!!"
Who said that? Wait a minute... I DID! WOW! HEY! HE'S ANSWERING BACK! BUT I DON'T CARE WHAT HE SAYS CAUSE IT'S NOT IMPORTANT! YAY! LOOK! HE HAS A SHINY WEAPON!!!!! I WANT IT!!!!!
YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW WE'RE PLAYING TAG!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SOOOOO MUCH FUN!!! C'MON POINTY HAIREDGUY CAN'T YOU CATCH ME?!!!!!!!!!! WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOOKIE!!!!!! SHINY WEAPON GO FLY! FLY THROUGH AIR!!!! PLOOOOOOOOSH!!!! BYE BYE SHINY I'M SORRY I DROPPED YOU!!!! LOOK NOW POINTY HAIRED GUY IS GOING FOR A SWIM! SWIM POINTY HAIRED GUY, SWIM! HEY NOW HE'S PRETENDING HE'S DROWNING!!!! THAT GUY IS REALLY FUNNY!!! WOOHOO!!!!!
A/N: Yes, sadly we had to make Kurama drunk because...well, something on this boat was SURE to backfire... and backfire it did. Hope you enjoyed this first chapter! Feedback, as always, is appreciated! Ciao, minna!
The Jagans