Sorry for such an ungodly wait... >
Yusuke POV:
Snort Err, where am I? Hmm, something's rocking back and forth… huh, what luck… it seems like I'm on a boat or something. So I open my eyes and sit up. And well, the silence lasts for about oh, say, two and a half seconds. I'm feeling generous so I exaggerated that time just now. Yippidee freakin' doo dah for me. So yeah, I start screaming like a lunatic 'cause well, y'know…
I DON'T KNOW HOW THE $&$!)! I GOT ON THIS BOAT!
…Or at least I don't remember…
Well anyways, freaky things like this have always happened to me at least once a week so I figure I may as well walk around a bit, catch the sights. "Yo, anyone on here?" I call out, standing up and looking overboard. Nothing but sea. Hmm… sea… and… waitaminnit… what the…. HELL?
"HIEI?"
Yeah, ladies and germs. Told ya. I'm a freak magnet… "TANTEI! WHAT IN ALL THE HELLS ARE YOU DOING! GET HELP!" Hiei sputters.
"First answer a couple questions! I'm sure you can hold on for at least five minutes right!"
Blub, gurgle.
"Err… HIEI! HOLD ON!"
He suddenly manages to resurface. "MAYBE YOU NEED HELP! LOOK AT YOURSELF!"
What the hell? Hiei doesn't have to diss my natural good looks or anything! What the hell is his problem? I swear, if he were a girl I'd think he'd be PMSing right now! But since he's not, I'll just assume that he's just jealous! I mean, who the hell could resist this dude! Haha! Look at me! I'm just about perfect! And!
…
I've got green skin…
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME, YOU IDIOT? YOU! OR KURAMA! WHERE THE FUCK IS KURAMA! I SWEAR HE WON'T LEAVE THIS BOAT UNSCATHED! DO YOU HEAR ME YOU GODFORSAKEN DROWNING RAT!" I yell at Hiei, shaking and waving fists in the air. Man, I'm ALMOST tempted to use my Rei Gun on him! "Y'know what? Screw you! I'm not helping you now that I look like the freaking hulk! This is what I like to call payback! It's a real bitch!"
"WHERE'S THE DOG? SOMEONE SAID BITCH! TEE HEE HEE!" Kurama suddenly came out of nowhere… and yes I mean nowhere… "YOU-SUCK-EE! HEY! WHOA I SAID IT! NOW I KNOW WHY HIEI WAS CALLING YOU THAT PRETTY NAME BEFORE! AND WOW! YOU'RE AS GREEN AS CHLORPHORYLIELLL! TEE HEE HEE! WOW THAT WAS FUN! HEY, YOU-SUCK-EE, WANNA PLAY TAG?" …wow…
Our sanest person has gone off the deep end! And THAT'S supposed to be MY job! God, this is SO not our finest hour… A little help would REALLY be appreciated…
Botan POV:
I'm capable of murder. No, really. I AM. JUST because I'm Death doesn't mean I can't actually be the cause of their...passing on. Sure, you may THINK I've never done it before--wait a minute, that's true, I haven't. Oh well. First time for everything. BWAHAHAHAHAHA--uh, right.
I stalk out of the bathroom, hands clenched into fists. I should be safe now...I think I'm done vomiting the contents of my stomach, anyway. Okay, the first person I come across is SO GOING TO PAY. The FIRST person--
"I SEE SPARKLES EVERYWHERE!" Kurama screams, running past me and straight into the wall. He stumbles back a few steps, blinking disorientedly at the wall. "Hello, Mister Wall," he says, holding a hand out to it. "Will you be my neighbor?"He then 'shakes hands' with the wall and wanders away.
O...kay...maybe not the FIRST person... Well, whoever's next is SO GOING TO GET IT. Really. SERIOUSLY. No mercy whatsoever. The SECOND person--
"KURAMA! DAMMIT, KURAMA, GET BACK HERE! C'mon, man, I'm the guy with the problems! What happened to your sanity? What happened to your BRAIN? AT LEAST TELL ME HOW TO UNGREENIFY MYSELF, MAN! C'mon, MY BOYISH GOOD LOOKS WILL SUFFER!" Yusuke ran by. Still green. Still completely out of his mind.
Well. There's still Hiei. Where IS he, anyway? Is he--oh, wait. Hmm. He's drowning. I SHOULD leave him there. I REALLY should. Am I that cruel? Oh, I guess not...
I chuck a lifesaver in the general direction of his head and haul him up...somehow...actually, I'm not sure how...after all, I was weak at the moment and he's rather heavy for such a little guy. He keels over on the deck and lies there for a moment, coughing up water.
"You look...exactly like a waterlogged rat," I inform him in a deadpan.
He stares up at me, wringing out his clothes. "SOMEONE seems in an uncharacteristically bad mood." He closes his eyes momentarily. "You...aren't PARTICULARLY attached to Reikai, are you?"
"Right now, I'm not particularly attached to anything. Including my lunch...which I would LIKE TO BE."
"Hn."
There was a few moments of silence. Then...
"Hey, when you torch Reikai, could you at least save my beanie baby collection for me? I'm rather fond of it..."
Hiei POV:
"Will do," I mutter, a resounding 'hn' following suit. I believe that it is the least I could do for the ferry girl. After all, she didn't happen to be the one to chuck me OR my katana overboard... Well then I'd consider Yusuke and my ever-wasted kitsune in crime... DEAD MEN. And so I involuntarily wrap a hand around my katana hilt and walk down the hallway, scouting out either Kurama or Yusuke. Kami-sama... I'd save time if I found both of them together.
...Hmm, what luck... they seem to be near the stern of the boat...
"BACK AWAY, SPIDER MAN!" Kurama cries, holding out a plushie and spastically shaking it at the Tantei. "I HAVE SOFT GOODS AND I KNOW HOW TO USE THEM! NOW DON'T YELL AT ME! LET'S PLAY TAG INSTEAD! AND--" Oh, no... He looked my way... "POINTY HAIRED GUY! HOW'D YOU COME BACK FROM THE DEAD! I WAS SURE THAT I DROPPED YOUR PRETTY SHINY TOY! IN THE WAA WA!" ...It was a sad, sad day that Kurama was behaving like this. Someone who I had respected for his power... well, any ningen with a short attention span can see that he's... not with us. Baka plants. I ought to take them from him one day... but right now, that's not my greatest concern.
"Kitsune, I don't care if you are off the wall, revenge will be mine!"
"REVENGE! TEE HEE!"
Yusuke's eyes flickered down to half-mast. "Kurama, my god, you're even worse offthan I am..." I believe that the Tantei had momentarily forgotten about having green skin.
Kurama POV:
THE BRIGHT COLORS ARE GETTING BRIGHTER! I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I DON'T CARE EITHER! HAHAHAHAHAHA! YAAAAAY! I THINK THE YOU-SUCK-EE AND POINTY HAIRED GUY ARE GOING TO PLAY WITH ME NOW! HURRAH! MAYBE THEY'LL PLAY DOLLIES WITH MEEEEE!
NO IT'S EVEN BETTER! WE'RE PLAYING TAG AGAIN! I'M SOOOO HAPPY! TAG IS SO MUCH FUN! OH LOOK, THERE'S A GUY IN A BLUE WIG!
"HI GUY IN BLUE WIG!"
YAAAAAY! NOW GUY IN BLUE WIG IS PLAYING TOOOOO! THE YOU-SUCK-EE AND POINTY HAIRED GUY ARE HAVING SO MUCH FUN THEY'RE LAUGHING! THIS IS GREAT! LALALALALA! MR. WALL IS EVEN PLAYING! HE'S RUNNING EVEN FASTER THAN MEEEEEE! I'M SO GLAD HE'S MY NEIGHBOR NOW! AND NOW MS. FLOOR SAYS SHE'S GOING TO WORK AT STARBUCKS AND MARRY MR. WALL! I WANNA GO TO THE WEDDING!
WHEEEEEE! THIS REMINDS ME OF A REALLY FUNNY JOKE! I REMEMBER HOW IT GOES TOO!
"A FOX WALKED INTO A BAR AND…"
Ten Minutes Later…
Ugh…what just happened? I feel like someone just dropped an anvil on my head. Hey…wait a minute... Where am I, anyway? What am I doing here? Where did I just come from? Why was I knocked out?
...Who am I?
I HAVE NO FREAKING CLUE WHO I AM!
"Holy FUCK, I have amnesia!" I scream, bolting up and immediately regretting it, as it both gives me vertigo and sends my head smashing into some random person who was apparently invading my personal space. White lights dance in front of my eyes...surely a bad sign, considering I HAVEN'T EVEN OPENED THEM YET... The aforementioned random person falls back with a thump (or at least that's what it sounded like) and curses in more languages and variety than I've ever heard before in my life. Keeping in mind, that is, that I only currently remember about thirty seconds of my life.
...Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is a bad thing.
Yusuke POV:
"Yo, Kurama…what are you doing all sober?" I'm pretty sure he was going to go to some wedding ten minutes ago… and if he was, more importantly, why the hell wasn't I invited? Er...yeah, not the point right now.
"Yo, slick, I've never met you before in my life!" Kurama screams.
Hmm…one too many designer drugs, maybe? Naw, can't be it. And what the fuck is SLICK! "Um, Kurama, haha… funny…not really. Stop kidding around."
"Why are YOU telling ME to kid around? You've got green skin, my friend! What the hell am I doing here! Oh I get what's going on… I'm on one of those candid camera shows, aren't I? Huh, huh? Well, HI MOM! WHOEVER YOU ARE! HI RANDOM FANS--"
Hiei walks in…
"AND HELLOOOOO FLAME BOY!"
Aw HELL no. Kurama did not JUST steal Youko's awesome dis. Hiei's eye twitched ever sooo slightly. I'm sure he hated Youko…though I don't know why…well, I'm sure he's going to pounce on Kurama now or something. Heh. snort Flame boy…
"Has your intelligence dropped 50 points, fox? Or are you just resorting to an idiot's state of mind?"
"Um…yeah, hello to you too. Um… cow…"
What the fuck was that, Kurama? You really did get dumber in the past 10 minutes. Cow? What the—oh… heh. Fox…cow…animals. Hmm… that still really sucked…My god! We're doomed! Unbelievably and undeniably doomed! Our smartest guy is now a lame stand-up actor! I really knew someone up there hated me… "So are you gonna tell us what the hell happened to you? Surely you don't expect me to believe you forgot about your precious wasted moment…"
"Or my blue wig!" Botan chided from out of nowhere. Kurama's eyes widened.
"Holy crap! Artificial hair dye!" …and then he squeaked. Squeaked. Pretty uncharacteristic of a fox to do. "Can someone PLEASE explain to me why I'm here?" He 'squeaked' again. Y'know, now would be a good time as any to pull a Hiei and jump overboard…
Botan POV:
Holy crap. He. Did NOT. Just say that. Did he? Hmm...yes, actually he did. I'm sorry Kurama, but amnesia or no, insanity or no, I'm going to hurt you now.
...ARTIFICIAL HAIR DYE! Geez, the guy in a wig was bad enough, but at least then he was completely out of it! GET IT THROUGH YOUR BIG THICK HEADS, MORONS! MY! HAIR! IS! COMPLETELY NATURAL!
I felt compelled to say this out loud. So I did. And now, I think I've finally earned some respect.
"Yeah, Botan, suuuuuure it is."
...Or not. Die, Yusuke. Die a slow, painful, HORRIBLE death.
Hmm... MaybeI shouldjust chain him to a drunk Hiei for a few months. I'd love to see him keep his sanity under THAT situation.
Wait. Yusuke's already insane. Well, scratch THAT plan. Anyways, how do you unamnesia a person?
Fortunately, Hiei decided to take care that himself, and promptly knocked Kurama over the head with his sword, shocking the hell out of me and Yusuke.
"What the hell!" yelped Yusuke. "I thought you guys were friends or something! Not only does he have amnesia, but you could have given him a percussion!"
"Concussion, Yusuke, CONcussion," I hiss through gritted teeth, still angry about the hair dye comment.
Hiei just gives an indifferent shrug. "I've heard a second knock on the head can cure amnesia."
We both stared at him. ...What? Hiei? SENSIBLE? WHO IS THIS GUY AND WHAT HAS HE DONE WITH OUR PSYCHOPATH!
"...Plus, I needed to pay him back for throwing my katana into the ocean. Damn it, it's starting to rust already!"
Ah. THAT sounds more like Hiei. Good. I thought we'd lost a second guy for a moment there. Not that a normal Hiei is much more stable than a crazy one. If anything, he's less.
WHAT unholy forces got me ON to this stupid ship in the first place!
Hiei POV:
I'm REALLY getting tempted to strangle someone…I really am. And no, I'm not just threatening this time, either. My best friend…doesn't remember a thing. Botan is going insane…wait, she's BEEN insane. And Yusuke…is Yusuke. No doubt about that. How does that make me feel, you ask? Well, a little uncomfortable. …Scratch that, that's an understatement. But it still sucks. I blame the toddler for everything.
I really wouldn't have noticed it, (since I was so preoccupied in talking to you people) but the ship gave a particularly violent buck and the next thing I knew, I was lying head first in some disgusting vat of…fish. I could tell, seeing how a little scrap of something got shoved up my nose. Life really sucks…
Wait, what happened to everyone else?
Well, I heard Botan start wailing and Yusuke was just swearing uncontrollably. I assume at this point, it was involuntary, seeing how our adventures must have really taken its toll on the poor delinquent. And what about Kurama? Hn…I'm sure he's lying under the mast pole or something. ANYTHING to make his amnesia go away.
"SHIT! LAND! FUCKING LAND!" Yusuke starts screaming like a blundering fool.
LAND!
"It's really land! No more throwing up! No more…EVERYTHING that happened on this pathetic excuse for a boat!" Botan added. I nodded and soon enough, the three of us had leapt off the vessel.
"Waaaaaait, for meeeeeeeeeee!" Kurama exclaimed. "I feel like I got hit by a truck! Or Youmi or something! Anyway! Did you say we're on land? YEEEEEEEESSS--"
"Yo, Yusuke! It's been a while!" came a voice I knew I hated. It was a voice so sinister…so grating, so…disgusting. It was him, I knew it! Curse it all!
"WOOOO! NOW IT'S A PARTY! WHAT'S UP YOUKO? AND HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE ANYWAY?"
"Err…. surfboard mishap.. I've been here for the past ten minutes, praying to Buddha that someone I knew would show up… and lo and behold, HERE you are! It's like…some unearthly wish has come true! This is great! Now we can relive the mall moments! I can't wait! And look at what I have!"
Holy…crap… not THAT…
A/N: Aaaaah! Cliffhangers are such wonderful things, ne? And again, the Youko used over and over again is Tasekano Youko (an original character...). Not to be confused with te infamous Youko Kurama