Title: Are We There Yet?
Author: LiLAqUaMaRiE
Rating: PG/K+
Words: 1,156
Warnings/Notes: Some quotes used are from BtVS/Angel.
Summary: It was just suppose to be a quick drive to Stargate Command.

"Are we there yet?"

Rodney McKay closed his eyes in clear irritation as he listened to the man behind him without turning around he spoke. "Does it look like we are?" Beautiful silence was his reply, blessed silence - he could finally relax before...

"Are we there yet?"

"Of all the-" McKay groaned, Teyla besides him tried to hide an amused smile that crept up on her lips He glared at her for a moment before turning to look at the existence of his irritation through the rearview mirror.

John Sheppard.

"No colonel, for the millionth time today, we're not there yet." He tried to keep his composure in check since he was the chosen one picked to drive to the Cheyenne Mountain's base where Stargate Command was located. "So can you please-" he paused, "-for all that's holy keep quiet?"

Sheppard just gave him a blank look from where he sat in one end of the back seat along with two other people - Elizabeth Weir and Carson Beckett- and shrugged his shoulders.

Satisfied Rodney turned his attention back to thehighway before him. It was a nice sunny afternoon and the lanes weren't so bad to drive at that time of day. He was considering turning on some music when he felt something poke him in the back ofhis right shoulder. Rodney sighed to himself - that man never learns.

"What do you want now Colonel?" He all but growled out.

"It has come to my attention..." He paused for a long moment; Elizabeth rolled her eyes at the two and continued to read the book she had brought with her on the ride, while Carson listened to some Celtic music through his ipod. Teyla was just enjoying watching the sight before her through the windows; it was all different and wonderful to her. Rodney on the other hand groaned again, "What Sheppard? What came to your attention?"

"...that I'm bored."

Gripping the steering wheel a bit too tightly, Rodney bit his inner cheek so he didn't give in to the urge of screaming out in frustration. "Really?" He chuckled out sarcastically. "I would have never noticed, thanks for letting me know."

John just gave him a thumb up which he saw through the rearview mirror, "No problemo."

Rolling his eyes Rodney gave his attention back to the lanes. It was quiet for some time till the point it got down right disturbing. Sheppard couldn't be that quiet for so long. As he continued to drive he spoke out, "What's going on back there?"

"Nothing."

Rodney sighed, "What do you mean by 'nothing'?"

"Beer."

Rodney was surprised, he didn't remember bringing any beer onboard the trip, but knowing John he must have smuggled it in. "I see."

"John, would you please refrain from poking my sides?" Elizabeth voice could be heard.

"But I wanna know whatcha reading?" He gave her a small pathetic pout, though she just rolled her eyes at the display. "Ancient text."

"You know what would be cool?"

Elizabeth placed her book onto her lap before turning towards John, "What?" she asked tiredly.

"If the Ancients made tarot cards."

Rodney was so tempted to bang his head against the steering wheel at hearing what the Colonel just said. John must be definitely be drunk to be sprouting out stupidity - well more so than usual. Elizabeth though, confused spoke out, "What?"

"Ya know...to figure out your future and stuff..." Elizabeth just stared at him before shaking her head and grabbing her book again to read. As she glanced back to the words in the book she spoke to John. "Don't even bother asking if this book can tell you your future. This is an ancient sacred text, not a magic eight ball."

John gave her a wide eyed stare before his mouth turned into a small lopsided grin. "How'd ya...ya know I was go-gonna ask that?" His voice started to slur a bit before a hiccup broke through.

Elizabeth answered deadpan, "A mystery." It seemed to satisfy John because he nodded and went back into drinking some more beer.

It wasn't even five minutes later when John spoke again. "Are we there yet?"

Annoyed Rodney turned the car around to park it off on the side of the lane. Once that was done, he turned back around in his seat to look at the others.

He turned to face Elizabeth, "Remember when I said that I loved driving but I never, never, never wanted him" he pointed a thumb toward a now drunk Sheppard, "in the same car as me?" Elizabeth sighed once more, putting her book once again onto her lap to nod at Rodney. "Yes."

"Well, exactly which "never" did you not understand?"

"I'm pregnant by my second in command who'd rather be with a botanist and who's left me with no good bye card, no money to support my child, nothing except for this pack of beer, which I drank all up."

Elizabeth, Rodney and even Teyla stared at John blankly for a few moments. John gave them a toothy grin, "This is me being tanked and bored for ya."

Rodney snorted before shaking his head, "Okay that's it no more beer for you, not now, not ever." John pouted at him, "But beer is your friend, beer is good. Me likes beer. Want beer."

Rodney gave him a disgusted frown, "Oh hell no. Beer is bad. Got it? Beer bad."

"Beer good." Rodney glared at Sheppard, giving him his best 'I'm dealing with idiots' look, "Bad, repeat after me- beer bad, beer bad. Wait. What on earth am I doing?"

"Are we there yet?"

"I'm not even driving you drunken moron!"

Teyla glanced at Rodney, "Pardon me Doctor McKay, the Colonel has expressed in many ways to me in the past, the value of beer." She tilted her head, "Is this information incorrect?" Rodney glared at John before replying. "You've been hanging around him too. Just stay away. You won't regret it." Noticing her confused look, he said "Trust me."

Finally noticing everyone looking at each other, Carson turned off his ipod and took off his headphones. "Did I miss something?"

Elizabeth sighed for the millionth time in a row - the things she has to go through to talk to Stargate Command, to do her duty - "John decided he likes beer, Rodney decided he hates driving with John along, Teyla decided that John's opinion of beer is wrong, I decided I'm never going again in a car with John or Rodney. What about you? You decided on anything?"

"Ah, no." Elizabeth nodded about to go back to her reading, Teyla was contemplating what Rodney had just told her moments before, John was smiling a bit insanely at anything he could stare at while Rodney rolled his eyes about to turn back around to drive again. "But, aye, I do have a question though."

Silence took over the car for a few moments before Carson spoke out his question.

"Are we there yet?"

Fin.