Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter names, places, settings, etc. or the plotline of the Swan Princess. (If I did, my computer wouldn't be a hunk-o-junk ;) )
A/N: Hello, everyone, anyone, and all you fan's of mine out there. Cross-country for me has ended (seeing as I stink, and only made second last place on the j.v. team) and my homework/tests are done for now, so I'm updating. I also have a plot bunnie bothering me, so keep a lookout; there may just be another story out there for you guys!
Chapter Four: Tree Houses and Tempers
Hermione had it all figured out. She had been brooding all month in her villa's library, surrounded by books with titles such as: Paranormal Pranks to Pull on Prats, Trixie's Trickiest Tricks, and Hilarious Hoax's. She was still having trouble getting the tomato seeds out of her bushy mane of brown hair a week after the terrible event took place.
Stacks of notes and lists in the neat scrawl of a child who perfected the skill of writing, Hermione had been brainstorming since she'd gotten there. It seemed pulling a prank on Harry was going to be difficult. Should she give up? 'Of course not! I can't let a little slime ball like him outdo me!'
"BOO!!!"
Hermione yelped at the loud scream, and jumped fifty feet out of her chair. The person had scared her senseless. Holding a hand to her fast-beating heart, she whirled around to take a glance at the interloper. He had red hair, freckles, and was nursing a sore ear.
"Ronald Weasley. If you ever do that to me again while I'm studying, I swear I'll put you in the stocks!" The irritated Princess growled out to him. Taking it as a joke, Ron dropped into a chair next to her, leaned back in it, and started to leaf through one of her books.
"This one hasn't got any pictures!"
"Of course it doesn't. Books are to read. Something you'd be able to do if you paid any attention in Lessons with Governess Francesca and Tudor Benjamin, Ronald." She said smirking.
"Know-it-all!"
"Dung for brains!"
"Beaver!"
"Hot-head!"
"Er...."
"Well?"
"Y-you....overly smart...person!"
Snorting at the last one, Hermione snatched up one of her lists and continued to scrawl out ideas. 'Pickle juice in goblet?' 'Whoopee cushion on thrown?' It would have to be brilliant; something the court would be talking about for the rest of the year.
"Ha' you go' any id'as y't?" Ron asked, stuffing some of her cauldron cakes into his mouth and spraying out crumbs across her desk. Disgusted, she brushed them away from the area where she wrote with her feathered quill.
"Mmm-hmm." The preoccupied royal muttered. "I'm just not sure if they're good enough yet."
"For all your books and brains, you'd think you'd have picked a good prank already!" Ron said, sounding amused and shocked at the same time.
"No, no. These things take time. We need to plan it out precisely, and perfectly."
It was then that Hermione Elizabeth Liana of the House of Granger, Ravenclaw Princess, got a genius idea. She smirked mischievously, an unfamiliar expression placed on her delicate features. 'We'll see whose Mistress Marauder, Harry James Potter!'
Rolling his eyes at his mother's standard 'It's wrong to disrespect visiting royals' speech; Harry attempted to hide a large yawn. It wasn't his fault the tomato happened to break free from its vine and just happened to catch a good drift of wind and just happened to slam into the Prissy Princess' face and just happened to splatter onto her dress too close to dinner for her to change clothes last month.
Running a hand through his black, scruffy hair- a habit he had apparently picked up from his father- he finally tuned into his mother's speech to hear the ending. The auburn-haired woman was red in the face, and pacing in her long gown of indigo.
"And so, to avoid going to war, creating poverty and death, next time, don't throw vegetables at another future monarch."
"Oh, err, yeah Mom, I promise." He muttered the same response he gave every time. It just so happened, he was the reining champ of all the kingdoms combined, and he wasn't going to let an angry, bushy haired beaver get in the way of remaining so.
After being dismissed, he headed towards the front yards, where Seamus was waiting to start a game of Knights and Ogres. They had built a tree house, all on their own, save for a few carpenters here and there, and the castle architect, and the occasional lumberjack.....In any case, it was boys only, a sign painted in red letters hung out from the window.
Climbing up, the boys sat down and started to look around for possible toy-weapons, a large bin full of all types of fun things for a growing set of boys to amuse themselves with. As Harry had just decided to use a sword instead of a bow-and-arrow, the loud, bossy voice of his least favorite Princess rang through the wooden boards.
"Hey, I want to play too! Let down the ladder, and I'll climb up....Just let me get my dolls..."
"Can't you read?" An exasperated Seamus called down. "It says 'Boys only'." His Irish friend added, as if he himself could decipher the backwards and messily scribbled words.
Hermione looked up at them, visible through the window in the afternoon sun. She had a cart with a mixture of books, dolls, and frilly laced dresses with her, and was wearing a sun bonnet to match her blue dress.
"Yes I can! And no, it doesn't. It says 'Boise onlie', daft little thing!"
Harry stood and yanked the rope up. There was no way he'd ever let a girl up into his tree house! He pulled the shutter down, and made sure to stick out his tongue first.
Down on the ground, Hermione let out an angry shriek. She hated that boy. At least she was making an effort to be nice, to have fun, and to make something of her summer. It wasn't her fault that boy was so stubborn.
That stunt with the tongue was the straw that broke the camel's back. Dishing out a kick like a horse's, she thrust her foot into a tall beam, getting the desired effect as it shook and wobbled under the new pressure.
Hermione ran, pushing her cart and its contents away from the unstable structure, and finally stopped when she'd reached a point far enough that it was safe to enjoy the spoils of her victory.
Just as expected, the pole crashed to the floor, sending down the whole building to the ground in a large heap of wood. When the dust settled, and two young boys crawled out coughing, scratched, dirty, but safe.
Hermione smirked. Her plan had gone through perfectly, without a hitch, and in front of most of the summer courts while they dined. Ladies hid giggles in fans, and Knights turned chortles into coughs.
"You just wait until next summer, Ravenclaw!" Harry called out, wiping his dirtied face with his sweaty hand. "You thought the tomato was bad? Ha! Just think. That one only took three weeks. How about a full YEAR of planning, eh?!?"
He would have something plotted out so wonderful...so-so magnificently masterful, that little....little...girl would never want to show her face in the courts of Gryffindor ever again!
The last two months of the summer went on with out event. Both parties were busily discussing events of the courts, the young children each plotting for revenge on the other as minimal pranks were pulled. Finally, as the Ravenclaw courts loaded their belongings into carriages and tugged the hands of younglings into them, Princess Hermione let out the last prank of the summer, ending it Hermione: 1 and Harry: 0 for the rest of the summer.
As she stepped into the open-roofed carriage, she sent out waves and smiles, along with a present for the prince. Where Prince Harry stood, joyous to be rid of the 'Pesky Princess' a ripened tomato was launched, splattering him and Seamus in the mug.
The boys stood there, shocked, for several minutes starring at the girl, who was able to pull that off while looking completely innocent, waving, smile still in place. The carriage was long gone before Harry, with wide-eyed surprise in his features, retreated back to his palace. She was going to get it good next year, he swore to that!
A/N: Continue? No? Should I cancel my account and never write ever ever again?!? Goodness, give me some feed back here! Okay, alright. I'm adding a hopeful review number here: At least five before I update. Maybe too ambitious, but it'll get you your update faster!
Reviewers:
the-power-of-love: Well, this was as fast as I could, just for you and all my reviewers :).
Chikara-Yuy: Here it is! I hope you weren't disappointed, and that it was amusing enough for ya!
Aradia-Rose88: Good enough? Let me know in another great review! I'm so glad you find it so funny.
lexa: ASAP just for you guys, lexa ;). I'm so excited you're reviewing regularly, and loving it!
Angel of Ravenclaw: Oooh! I'll be sure to read yours, as I'm positive it must be great (even better than mine :P). Here's more for you.