Chapter 10
Joey had been up half the night writing her speech for graduation. She had gone over what she wanted to say a thousand times in her head but she was having a hard time putting it to paper. Her mind kept wondering. It was a lot of things, but mostly it was about how she would have to say goodbye to her friends. Joey had already done it once and she wasn't sure if she had the courage to do it again. By far, Pacey would be the hardest person to say goodbye to. He was her rock; her shoulder to cry on when her life got out of control. He meant everything to her. It was nearly two in the morning, and still nothing. Frustrated, Joey sighed, as she got up to get another cup of coffee. She heard footsteps behind her. She spun around to find Bessie standing in front of her.
"Bessie," Joey said, a little startled.
"What are you doing up? You should be in bed," Bessie told Joey.
"I just can't sleep. Between having to say goodbye to Dawson and write my speech, my mind has been in overdrive lately," Joey told Bessie, taking her seat at the table. Bessie took a seat next to her sister.
"What's this?" Bessie asked, eyeing a notepad with chicken scratch on it.
"It's supposed to be my speech," Joey told her.
"Oh," Bessie said.
"My reaction exactly, I have nothing. I know what I want to say but I am having a hard time putting it down on paper," Joey explained.
"Maybe you should read the letter from Mom. It may inspire you," Bessie said, sliding the letter towards Joey.
"I found it on your night table when I came in to say goodnight." With that, Bessie left Joey alone.
Joey sat in silence for a few moments, contemplating whether she should read the letter. Even though Dawson had read it to her, the notion of reading it herself made her uneasy. However, she needed to face the music someday. She picked up the letter and unfolded it. She read it slowly:
My darling Joey,
If you're reading these words it means that you have been accepted into college. Congratulations sweetheart. You didn't have a lot growing up. You even have been shorthanded a mother. Still, I want you to remember your family even if they have caused you pain, because that pain can only make you stronger. I know that Bessie has done a great job taking care of you for she is strong. Of all of the things that my illness robbed me of, the most painful is not being able to watch you grow up. You are barley thirteen now, still a young girl, so I am left to only imagine the wonderful young women that you have become. Striking beautiful and unaware of it, I am sure. Smart and strong willed, letting nothing stand in your way. Possessing the deep, soulful eyes of a dreamer and a smile that makes your heart melt. If any of this sounds remarkably in sync, it's because it's the girl that you always were, Joey. And it's the women that you will always be. Whatever you have chosen to do with your life, I know your future will be bright. Always remember your days in Capeside fondly and remember those who shared your childhood. They will always love you in way that no one else can and they will always be with you, just like I love you and will always be with you.
Love,
Mom
After reading the letter, Joey sighed. Bessie was right; the letter had inspired her. The pen started flowing, as Joey started writing. The ideas just kept coming. She was going to say to those that she loved and would miss what she never was able to say and had always wanted to. At three in the morning, Joey was writing the final sentence of her speech. Joey smiled as she made her way to bed; tomorrow was a big day.
The next morning, Joey had just finished putting her gown on when Bessie came into her room.
"Joey you look amazing," Bessie told her.
"Thanks, but I really should get going." Joey said, grabbing her cap and racing out the door. Bessie chased after her.
"We're supposed to take pictures before the ceremony, and they said no later than 10 o'clock," Joey said, walking quickly towards the truck.
"You've still got time!" Bessie told her.
"Bessie, I don't want to be late," Joey told her, opening the door to the truck.
"You won't be late. Just hold on. Hold on," Bessie said, stopping her sister from getting in. She put lipstick on Joey.
"There you go," Bessie told her.
"I am so proud of you," Bessie said.
"Bessie, please you're going to make me cry," Joey said.
"Right," Bessie replied.
"Can I go now?" Joey asked.
"I love you," Bessie told Joey, pulling her into a tight hug.
"I love you," Joey said, as a tear ran down her cheek. With that, Joey drove away.
As Joey arrived at graduation, she looked for Bessie, Bodie and Alexander. They were in the front row. Pacey walked up behind her.
"Hey, how are you?" Pacey asked her, as he gave her a kiss.
"I'm okay. You?" Joey asked Pacey.
"Same here," Pacey said. Joey could tell that something wasn't right but she decided now wasn't the right time to confront Pacey.
"You're wearing your mother's necklace," Pacey said, running it between his fingers.
"Um, yeah," Joey told him, smiling.
"Well, it's time for you to go sit up on stage with the rest of the smart kids. You'll be great." Pacey told her.
"Wish me luck," Joey said.
"Good luck," Pacey said. With that, Pacey took his seat while Joey stepped up on stage and took a seat.
"I would like to introduce you to this year's senior valedictorian Miss Josephine Potter!" principle Peskin said. Joey took her place at the podium, placing her speech in front of her. She took a deep breath before beginning.
"Principal Peskin, our families, my fellow graduates," Joey said, looking out at the people sitting before her. "I stand here before you aware of the similarities that we share. I know that you're feeling, outside of my incredible stage fright, the same things that I'm feeling… pride and accomplishment, closure and regret, and a hopeful outlook on the future. But I don't think you need me to elaborate on those feelings. Instead I...I wanted to share something personal and tell you that... that people in my life who are gone now, people I miss very much and people who I am haunted by in different ways, but whether we're separated by death or merely distance, I know that they're still with me because I keep them in my heart. The truth is, in time, that's all that we're going to be to each other anyway, this population of memories, some wonderful and endearing, some less so. But taken together, those memories help make us who we are and who we will be. So whether you're here with each other now or you're merely in each other's thoughts, remember each other on that road ahead. And I hope that no matter where your travels lead you in this life... you'll always take Capeside with you. Congratulations," Joey continued. Everyone got up and cheered. Next, they lined up to get their diplomas.
"Amanda Larson, Sarah Ladson, Dawson Leery," principle Peskin said. At that moment, Dawson was on his way to L.A., instead of graduating with the rest of his friends.
"I present to you the graduating Class of 2001!" principle Peskin said, after everyone had received their diplomas. Everyone stood and threw their hats into the air; they had graduated. Even though they had finally graduated, the moment was bittersweet for Jen, Pacey, Andie, Jack and Joey. It was hard celebrating this joyous occasion without Dawson there to be a part of it and share it with them.