A/N: I'm back. I haven't updated in like seven days and I feel rotten for it. Anyway, this is a damn long chapter- apart from the usual six or seven pages; it's a whole fifteen pages. And for that I am immensely proud of myself. Reviews!

Review Responses

Magoleth: Well, that's good- realistic is what I'm aiming for, honey. And thank you for the compliments! I feel so loved. Anyway, I'm going to update soon- actually, I just did! (Reeeeaaaalllllyyyy corny)

SakuraEvil twin of Sango: Yayness. Thanks for the kind word. Smile.

Pointy-Eared Archer: Really! Shit, I'm gonna go watch it! I love Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha. They're mighty, mighty fine. Anyway, yeah, Miroku's hot- disturbingly so. He's so cute. He's my second-favorite, after Jakotsu. Getting cured is good, too- at least it's a start to no disease in the world. Love & Hugs.

Dragon Pearl1: Yah! Jakotsu's the best. He's my favorite character, I think I might've said that before- and if I did, too bad. Aside from my vulgarity…little Jakotsus. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. Oh, how I love tormenting Inuyasha!

>>>>>>>

Chapter Eleven

Gym time. Oh happy daises and rainbows of physical education.

I would like to tell you that our P.E. coach is the most lumbering, idiotic person in the world (because it just makes for a better reading experience- who doesn't expect gym teachers to be loud, plodding, obnoxious beasts?). I would like to tell you how much I hate him because he's a stupid, lumbering asshole.

But I can't. First off, it's not a he, it's a she. Miss Nazuna Okuda- the most temperamental, vain bitch I know. Second, she is quiet, doesn't lumber, and is pretty smart. I'd never say that out loud.

Oh, but, like all the female teachers between the ages of twenty to sixty-seven, she takes a liking to my best friend Miroku. So we get off the hook whenever we want- we've become quite the envy of the whole boy's class.

Miroku stood propped up against the brick outer wall along the track field, taking the first drag of a long-desired cigarette, and it was all I could do to hold back from wringing his neck and show him what those cigarettes really did to a person. He smiled. Blew smoke in my face.

I waved it away. "Knock it off, pothead," I said threateningly.

He smiled again, more broadly this time, and closed his eyes, inhaling once more. He began to sing, "Stacy can I come over after school/ We can hang around, by the pool/ Did your mom get back, from her business trip/ Is she here, or is she tryin' to give me the slip?…"

"Shut the fuck up," I mumbled.

He raised his eyebrows. "Well, well, Mr. Attitude."

"I have every right to be Mr.-Fuckin'-Attitude today!" I exploded. I watched his reaction- a pleasantly surprised smile. I growled, menacingly, and then threw my hands up in all hopelessness. I started to rub my temples. "Imagine, Miroku."

"And what would I be imagining, Mr. Attitude?" he asked. Miroku was obviously enjoying this.

I sighed and looked at him, in the eye. "Remember Jakotsu. That message you heard from him at my house. Imagine the people that spawned that fiend- who the hell would be enough of a crazy, spiteful bitch as to raise a kid like that?"

"Perhaps he wasn't born, per se," he replied. He chuckled. "Perhaps he was created by a mad scientist­-"

"OH SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I yelled. "You don't help, Miroku." I rolled my eyes. "It's amazing the people I consider friends."

"It's amazing that you've got the mind to consider considering something," he retorted.

I snorted. "You're lucky I stick around to take your bullshit. I should just skip gym with Kags- but, no, I'm here with you."

"And how lucky you are," he finished.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and heaved a heavy sigh. I scowled. I didn't want to go to dinner today- just please, please let something happen to Jakotsu. Maybe a non-fatal car accident. Anything. Anything to get him and his crazy family off my back. I scowled deeper as I watched the cigarette smoke spiral past the red-and-gold trees, shooting up to the sun as if it would reach heaven, the wind allowing it to pass as if it were something holy. As if it wasn't killing someone at the very same second- the son of a preacher, or his best friend with a lot on his shoulders; or, maybe, a black-haired nuisance who was somehow connected to all of this.

>>>>>>>

I walked onto the steps of Shikon Public High School, stopping and looking around. I sighed. No sign of Jakotsu- let's hope it stayed that way.

Feeling insistent tapping on my shoulder. "What?" I asked irritably, whirling around.

Wham. A small, delicate fist planted itself straight hard on my cheek. My vision blurred for a minute- I blinked, shaking my head off and hearing a slight, droning buzz in my ear, and said, "What the hell was thatfor!" before I could really see who it was.

My vision came back- in front of me was a very pretty, and very angry, Kagome. I scowled. "Mind telling me why the hell you just assaulted me!" I asked.

"Oh, don't be such a drama king!" she yelled. Sango was standing next to her, and a kid with blonde hair stopped to look. "You know why I just did that!"

"No! I don't! Otherwise I woulda been on the lookout for PMS-ing, moody weirdos!" I snapped. I looked her up and down, partially because I was trying to fathom why she was so pissed- but partially to fathom how I could get her out of that short, denim skirt and yellow polo shirt as quick as humanly possible. Nice- I was thinking about her legs while there was another, more important problem at hand. Just peachy.

She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. "You- jerk."

"Please tell me what's wrong?" I asked, rolling my eyes. Why'd she have to be such a moody, stupid woman, anyhow?

"We were supposed to go out on Sunday!" she exploded. When Kagome yells, it's bad- and now a whole crowd was gathering some feet away, watching her yell. She attracted quitea crowd. I'd kill her. "And you knew it! You're the moron who invited me! Or did you magically forget!"

"Well, I forgot! It's not like my life revolves around you, anyhow!" I cried out, out of frustration.

Wrong thing to say, apparently. Another hit to the face, this time a slap, came along with the words, "Forget you! You know how many hours I was waiting at the restaurant before Kouga came to pick me up? Do you know how many?"

I winced- Kouga. That bastard. She grimaced. "You're an insensitive jerk, Inuyasha Miyazaki. I thought you'd apologize- but you're too selfish and infantile! You know, my therapist said-" oh Gawd, the therapist- "that people as selfish and babyish as you have ego problems! You're as egoistic as they come! I hope you realize that!"

Off she and Sango strutted, scowls on their faces. I stood glued to the cement, biting down my tongue. Damnit- I shouldn't open my big fucking mouth… "Kagome! Look, it was a mistake! I'm sorry, Kag! Come on- aw, forget you!"

I looked around at the people watching. "Oh, so now I've reached the status of total jerk?" I asked them. "Wouldya fuck off before I make you fuck off!"

I sat down on the steps, frustrated. Stupid Kagome…no, stupid me…where was I on Sunday that I forgot?

Oh, yeah. I was giving a fag who I hardly knew a ride to Douglaston.

So great. Just great. I blew my girlfriend off for a homo- a homo that I was seeing again today. The shit Miroku talked me into…I should've just gotten up, run to Kagome, kissed her on the mouth and told her how sorry and fucked-up I was. But. No. I was waiting for someone I hated to show up.

At the very instant that my potentially homicidal thoughts started to occur, a familiar figure graced the street. I sighed heavily and bit the inside of my cheek down.

Today he was dressed in light blue jeans with marks all over them- paint stains, crayon pictures, and marker-written signatures, with the light blue Jetsons hoodie. His hair was up- what else was new. I watched him from across the street. In his odd little way, he looked both ways- fairly kindergartener-ish- and ran across the street. A chestnut-haired girl bumped into him. I could hear him screaming curses about stupid women-filth and retarded, stupid clumsy idiots before he came running again.

He waved. "Yaaaaassshhha!"

I ducked my head. Good, Jakotsu- let everyone know you know me. Let the fucking world know. I pretended not to notice him.

He ran up to me and sat down. "Jeez, Yasha- you look mad. What about?" he cooed.

I rolled my eyes. "Nothing. Everything's perfectly fine. I. Uhmm."

"Are you sure?" he asked, leaning closer towards me to inspect my face. I pushed his own face away, muttering the words, "Positively."

"Okay!" he chimed, happily. He grabbed me by the wrist, and I could swear he was cutting off my circulation as he pulled me up forcefully. "Let's go, then!"

I pulled my wrist away. "Don't grab my hand like that! And calm the fuck down."

That smile came across his mouth again- that suggestive, insane-o smile. He blinked rapidly, in some vague and failed attempt to bat his eyelashes. "You're kinda cute when you're angry. And if your angry face is that cute, I wonder what you'd look like all bloodied up and stuff." His smile grew. "We could test that at my house-"

My hand brushed against the pocket of my jeans, through which I could feel a small, tube-like can. Good- my mace was still there. Hey, it may be much, but it's precautionary. "You're sick, you know that?"

He smiled and giggled gleefully. "Yeah, sick in love with you," he sang happily, twirling around in a 360 degree circle, starting to walk in front of me.

"Yeah yeah. Just shut up and lead the way, Captain," I muttered, slinging my backpack over my left shoulder.

Jakotsu looked back at me and winked. "Does that mean I get to shout out the orders?" he asked, suggestive and seductive- almost.

I rolled my eyes. "Forget that," I corrected myself, walking after him across the street. The air was a bitch and still he had no jacket.

>>>>>>>

We approached a nice, suburban area- small houses and big lawns, but nice all the same. He led me across the greener-than-green, perfect-cut grass of the front lawn of a nice, suburban house- a house I was sure as Hell wasn't his.

It was a small, square house with white wood paneling on the exterior. The door was dark wood, with an oval-shaped stained glass window on the front, the windows perfectly square with, my God, shutters. Dark-blue, homely-looking window shutters. The whole house seemed nice, cozy, good. Next to it stood a disheveled, yellow house- the one I thought belonged to the Himekawas.

But, no, he was moving toward the front door of the white house- I sighed. At least it wasn't a circus-tent… "Here it is!" he called, as if I didn't know already. He took a set of jingly keys out. Attached to it was a key chain of a black butterfly, with metallic-looking sky blue wings. I rocked back and forth on my heels and I waited for him to finally open the door.

I must've waited for two whole minutes before my fuse started to light. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" I exploded, throwing his hands away and snatching the keys.

"Jeez Yasha- you're so eager," he said, in a teasing voice. I ignored the tone of his high, feminine voice and picked out a gold key, inserting it into the brass doorknob and twisting it correctly. Lo and behold, the door swung open. What a pathetic idiot- an almost total stranger could open his door better than him.

Realizing the inside of the house was fully visible, I held my breath, frozen to the stoop, closing my eyes tighter than needed. A poke on my shoulder, then a sharp tug into the house, were the only things that could've gotten me into that sullen wreck. The acute scent of, surprisingly, Febreeze struck me as the door slammed from behind.

Oh, well, it was now or never. I opened my eyes, which made me even more freaked out than I had initially intended to be. I blinked for a second, looking around, confused- was this really his house?

The floor was hardwood and plain, the polished, dark oak etched into a square-upon-square across the span of the entering room. From where I stood, I could see a hall leading into what looked like a kitchen (and might actually be a scientific research lab on giant tortoises, for all I knew)- a few doors on the sides. To the left of me was a small living room area, carpeted with beige, Berber carpet. The two plain-looking couches were white polyester, sitting across from each other and on either side of a small glass top coffee table on which sat potted violets. There was a fireplace directly in front of the coffee table. There were pictures on it and behind the couches, though I couldn't make out what they were. A stereo was behind the couch farthest from me. A coat hanger was placed firmly beside me.

For a second, I was confused. I thought, no, I was certain I'd find something weird. Maybe a skin of a slaughtered animal, cheetah-print couches, a lava lamp, something to find fault with. But there was nothing. Not a fragment of Jakotsu's weirdness. Just polished hardwood floors and white couches and potted flowers, for God's sake. All neat and clean and orderly. Was this really Jakotsu Himekawa's house?

Firmly confident that there was something weird in the rooms to come, I exhaled steadily. The house even smelled nice. Like tangy, subtle vanilla and Febreeze. Maybe I'm the only guy in the world who thinks that smells nice. So sue me.

"Wait a sec here," Jakotsu said, breaking the silence and smiling like he couldn't believe I was here. He dashed down the hall and disappeared into some room. I stood and looked around. Wondering if he'd ever had someone over his house, and if his parents were home, I kicked off my shoes and sat down on the couch.

A stout, short Spanish-looking woman with dark-tanned, sun-spotted skin came into the room, holding a feather duster. Her copper-colored, frizzy hair was tied up into a high ponytail, and she was staring at me with these huge, yellow-white eyes, puckering her big lips like it was everybody's business. Her nose was pushed up a little bit, too. She was dressed in a light blue maid's uniform, blinking at me.

"Hi," I said.

She stared at me for sometime longer and then dashed off into the hall, muttering something in Spanish under her breath. I blinked, totally freaked out by that woman.

Jakotsu walked back to the living room with a pout on. "What happened to you?" I asked, not out of concern, but for the sake of saying something witty and sarcastic.

"I hate my stupid Nana," he blurted shortly, and sat next to me.

"Your stupid what?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"My Nana," he replied, as if I knew what the Hell his "Nana" was. It could've been a sad-eyed Saint Bernard, like in Peter Pan. Or my imagination might just be overactive. I don't know. "She lives here. She whines and bitches about God and Jesus like the stupid woman thinks it's her house. The nerve of some people."

I blinked for a minute. Well, there was some tension amongst his family, I could tell. And this "Nana" person must be his grandma… "What'd she say to you?" I asked, now a little bit curious.

"I told her that we had someone over," Jakotsu said, still in sulk-mode. "And she goes,-" at which point the switched to a croaking, sharp voice I suspected was his imitation of his grandmother- "'Is he at least a good Christian boy?' And I said that like Hell I would know. She started ranting about how much noise I make and none of it's ever with a good Catholic boy, and how I was going to hell 'cause I was gay. I told her you were different and that she wouldn't know 'cause she's old and ugly but she bitched and moaned about somethin' else. She's such a poop-face. You wanna go up to my room now?"

I shrugged. Noise? What noise was he talking about? A shudder ran through me as the sickest of thoughts ran through my now polluted imagination. We went up a set of light-colored wooden stairs, him running at a fast pace, whisking his smell of peaches and dog at me. I winced.

Upstairs, again, looked normal. I wondered what kind of conspiracy this was as he opened the door to the room closest to the staircase.

His room was pretty normal, too- neat considering what a scatterbrained fool he came across as. Too neat. Like it hadn't ever been touched. It was carpeted in beige as well, the walls white and untouched. There was a bed against the wall straight across from the door, with- just guess the color- white sheets. Two bedside tables, a dresser, a desk- all in matching colors. On the desk there was a cheap computer. It was all very plain and calm, like any normal teenage girl's room would be. This whole fucking house looked like an Ikea display- so calm and arranged and neat that it was scary.

The Almighty Fag spun around, arms outstretched, and landed himself on the bed, making a loud thunk noise when he did. "Soooo, Yasha, whaddya wanna do first?"

I looked around the room again- there weren't really any personal "touches," save some pictures and a big Fight Club poster hanging above the plain bed. I shrugged and situated myself at the foot of the bed.

A moment of calm followed. Well, this wasn't very fun. I wondered frantically what the hell I was doing here, before Jakotsu decided that he would state the obvious, head propped up in his hands, saying:

"Eh. I'm bored."

I rolled my eyes. "Really? I woulda never thought." I wasn't sure if he hadn't caught the sarcasm or was just ignoring me. He got up and started to look for something on a shelf.

I raised an eyebrow- what the hell was he doing now? He rummaged through the shelf opposite his bed, throwing stuff all over the place,- books, a Magic 8 Ball, a couple of bracelets- some (by which I mean most) of it hit me. I ducked as a book came flying at me. "Oi, whaddya tryin' to do! Kill me!"

He ignored me again, as if it was his place to. Jerk. Suddenly he whooshed around, apparently finding what he was risking my life to look for. "Ah! Heeerree it is!" he chimed, happily, throwing himself onto the bed again.

I looked down at his hand, to see a crumpled piece of paper. He unfolded the crinkly material, looking down at it almost quizzically. "M'kay! Okey dokey…now, if I remember this right…hmm, no, that's not right…oh! Oh, okay!" His eyes fixated on me; he smiled warmly. I frowned, a little confused. "Okay. I'm going to tell you…" His voice dropped to a low, mysterious intrigue-and-murder-story tone, tilting his head down as to look even more secretive (which, by the way, I wasn't buying). "A murder story."

I snorted. "Tell away, fruitcake," I scoffed, with a dismissive wave of my hand.

He pouted. "Aww, fine. I won't tell it to you, then!"

"Okay," I agreed.

Silence. "Well, you're missing out," he said, in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Sure am."

"It's a really fun game."

"Yup. Oh boy."

"Too bad you'll be missing out," he sighed, smiling. As if I cared- did he really think I'd concede to his ideas?

A while passed before he finally caved in. "Well, I'm gonna tell it to you anyway, 'cause I feel like it," he announced, getting up and shutting off the lights. He came back, but this time he didn't include that mysterious tone in his voice. "Okay, Yashie! Okay…hmm. If I remember it right, there's a river…with a bridge over it! A WIFE and a HUSBAND live in a house on one side of the river thing. And the LOVER of the WIFE lives on the other side, and you can only go from one side to another by going across the bridge or asking this dude called the BOATMAN to take you across in his boat.

"So the HUSBAND goes on some kind of thing to do with business…he tells his WIFE he'll be gone all night. She wants to go with him because she knows that if he goes she'll go screw the LOVER for the night but the HUSBAND tells her she can't go 'cause she'll get in the way. Of something. Anyway, when the HUSBAND goes, the WIFE spends the night with her LOVER. And when dawn breaks, she has to go back home before the HUSBAND comes home, but she can't go across the bridge because there's an ASSASSIN that'll kill her or something if she goes across that way. So she goes to the BOATMAN, but she can't go across because she can't pay the boat fee. Then she goes to her LOVER and asks for the money to go across the bridge, but he refuses and says it's her fault for getting herself into the situation…or something like that. As the sun rises the WIFE is desperate so she goes across the bridge back to her house where the ASSASSIN is waiting for her and he stabs her to death until she finally dies the end."

I blinked for a minute, trying to comprehend what the hell he just said to me. "I don't talk Chinese," I reminded him, bluntly.

"It's supposed to tell you what kind of person you are," he said. "I think. You're supposed to list the order that you find them guilty in."

"Well. How can I know who's guilty if I don't even know the story!" I exclaimed.

"You shoulda been paying attention," he said with a teasing grin.

I frowned. "Don't you even start with me."

He sighed and told it over again. When I finally got it (the objective is to list the characters you find guilty of the wife's death in order), and when we finally got a hold of pens and paper, I listed them in this order:

1. HUSBAND

2. ASSASSIN

3. BOATMAN

4. WIFE

5. LOVER

And Jakotsu in this order:

1. WIFE

2. LOVER

3. BOATMAN

4. HUSBAND

5. ASSASSIN

I looked at our papers. We thought almost exactly opposite, and this only further proved it. "So," I began, putting down my pen, "lemme get this straight. This is supposed to tell me about myself."

"Each one symbolizes something, Yashie," he replied, squinting at both the papers. "The husband symbolizes love, I think. The wife symbolizes fun. The assassin is money and the boatman is magic, and I think the lover is sex." I sat quiet as he looked at me for some sign that I agreed. He sighed. "So! What's most important in your life is Love, and then Money. After that is Magic, then Fun, and last is Sex…how can that be?"

"How can what be?" I asked him.

"How can you think sex is the least important?" he asked, puzzled. He let out a hysterical, insane burst of laughter, and after I made a comment about what a messed-up fag he was, he proceeded to list his values, which went as: Fun, Sex, Magic, Love, and Money. "That's exactly right!"

I raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure it is…where the Hell did you learn that?"

He smiled. "From a book I read. Called The Pigman."

"Oh," I grunted. Jakotsu read books- another astonishing fact of life I'd found out in the astonishingly plain household of Jakotsu Himekawa.

>>>>>>>

Boredom. The thing had followed me ever since the end of school.

"Where're your parents?" I asked, watching him fling yogurt out his window. He'd started this out of boredom; we had gone down to the kitchen and gotten food. As soon as we got upstairs, he got bored again, and he made up a game: every time someone passed by the house, we'd fling yogurt at them, and points were counted at how many times you got people. Whoever had the most points, obviously, won. I'd given up a long time ago, but he was still going strong. I was just surprised we hadn't been arrested.

He looked at me, with an oddly baffled expression on his face. "My parents?" he repeated. "I dunno. Probably at work. Y'know, they dropped a meeting to have dinner with you."

I paused. A meeting- what kind of meeting? My imagination went to work again, the thought that maybe they were in the Ku Klux Klan seething itself into my brain. "Why'd they do that?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Dunno. I just talked about you and they said they'd 'love to meet you.' And then they went on about how nice it was that I was making friends and blah blah blah."

"Hmph," I grunted. Someone passed by the house- a youngish woman with a mauve business suit on and blonde hair twisted into a bun.

"RAZOR!" Jakotsu shrieked, taking a huge scoop of the lavender-ish goop and hurling it out the window. Now, I wasn't expecting it to go where it did- but it did.

It landed on the woman, splattering all over her neat hair. My eyes widened and I froze. She looked up at the window, to see no other than Inuyasha Miyazaki and Jakotsu Himekawa, armed with spoons and yogurt. Her jaw dropped; she took off her sunglasses. "What the fuck!" she yelled.

"Duck!" I hissed, pulling him down under the desk. Jesus- could that file as harassment? Oh God…the last thing I needed was to be arrested for flinging yogurt at some woman…

We waited under the desk for a while, listening to the high pitch of her incoherent, profane rants and raves about "juvenile delinquents" and "fucking low-fat yogurt" on a "new bitching suit!" After a few minutes, the screaming stopped; the clicking of heels told me she was gone.

I heaved my weight up to get out from under the desk, but was tugged back by an iron grip on my shoulder. My head hit the top of the desk. "Ouch! What the Hell're you hangin' onto me for, moron!"

His grip on my shoulder tightened. I looked at him- he was smiling.

He threw his head back and started to laugh, clutching his sides and burying his head into my shoulder. The laughter seemed to be too much for him; his pale face was turning immensely red, and his whole frame shook with each hysteric cackle he let out. I just looked at him, didn't tug away. I blinked in confusion- it wasn't that funny. His face was now dangerously close to my neck. I pushed him off and got out from under the desk.

"What's got you so worked up?" I asked, taking a cautious look out the window. What if she was still there? I'd be in trouble then…

I didn't see the girl; instead, a black Toyota pulled up in front of the house, full in view and illuminated in the six-'o'-clock purplish darkness of the world around. I bit my bottom lip; parents. That had to be them.

He got up from under the desk. "Yup, that's my folks," he said. "Too bad…I was thinking we could have some fun on our own," he added, deliciously slow as if trying to be somewhat seductive. Did this guy not get that I was straight?

"C'mon, we better go down," he said, pulling me by the arm.

Aw Holy Hell.

His parents.

I'd feared them more than the mini-Jakotsus; they were, as I've said before, the parents of Satan hisself.

I swallowed. "Do you have any siblings, Jakotsu?"

"No. I hate little kids. Why?"

>>>>>>>

"Mom, Dad, this is Inuyasha. Inuyasha, this is my Mom and Dad."

Jakotsu sounded more than bored, standing next to me, folding his arms and tapping his foot impatiently as I shook hands with his father.

"Pleasure to meet you, Inuyasha," he said. His grip was firm and his shake authoritative. I winced. Jesus Holy Christ, this guy's grip was tight. "I'm Takeda."

"Uhmm hi," I said. Smooth. Real smooth, Inuyasha Miyazaki.

"I'm Jeanne," his mother piped up. Her voice was high-pitched and actually rather irritating, like a small bird's or a rodent's. "It's very nice to meet you, Inuyasha!"

"Save it," Jakotsu interrupted, pulling me away. Someone didn't like their parents.

Again I was surprised by their appearances- normal. Absolutely normal. Too normal, too suburbia-perfect to be real. I thought that maybe these people were hired, and his real parents were off experimenting with tortoises or some other endangered animal in the Fiji Islands.

His father- well, he was a typical Japanese man. His head was almost completely round, his figure a little stout and chubby. He had small, pitch-black eyes behind square glasses and a flat nose with wide nostrils. His hair was balding at the top. He wore a business suit.

When looking at his mom, I could tell where he got his looks from. His mother was, to put it plainly, gorgeous as all get-out; her large gray eyes were fringed with thick, soft lashes and her hair was wavy and dark, dark brown. She was petite and small, and she looked some twenty years Takeda's junior.

"What's for dinner?" Jakotsu asked.

"Did you ask Soledad?" Jeanne asked. The way his parents talked to him- you could see something in their eyes, hear the shaking in their voice; the whole reaction to him was something akin to fear. Hell, I'd be afraid if Jakotsu was my kid, too.

>>>>>>>

Dinner was…weird.

I talked to his parents, while he sat there like a baby, pushing his peas around the blue china plate like a three-year-old. The food was good enough- the woman Jakotsu kept calling Soledad made meatloaf, peas, and yellow rice. Yeah, dinner itself was great- but the atmosphere was weird. It was quiet, like we were all aliens speaking different languages to each other. Jakotsu didn't talk to his parents, and his parents didn't talk to him. The only conversation struck up was for me, and it was so formal and polite it made me throw up.

I wasn't used to this. Even if me and my brother were always arguing, and my Mom was always cooking, and my Dad was always smoking, at least we fucking knew each other. I mean, these people…they acted so weird.

His mother, Jeanne, was all too nice. "So, Inuyasha," she started, cutting her meat neatly, "do you go to St. Midroko's with Jakotsu?"

I swallowed my rice, scowling. I hated this stupid small-talk. It was so pointless. His mother, however, seemed to love it. "Uhmm. No. I go to Shikon High. The public high school."

"Ah. I see," she replied. "Isn't it nice to see someone else's ways of doing things? Jakotsu?"

"No," he said bluntly. "I don't like school."

Jeanne faked a smile and a laugh and we continued to eat in silence, the crashing of metal against china the only sound constituting as conversation. The silence was choking, like it was pressuring me to just blurt something out. And I would've- except that I'm not a total idiot.

I looked at Jakotsu compared to his parents. Yeah, him and his mom look almost exactly alike- but his parents were plain and ordinary, while he was…not. I tried to figure out his mom's nationality; I knew Takeda was Japanese- most businessmen around Bayside are- but Jeanne looked European. Maybe English or French or something like that…

"Where did you and Jakotsu meet?" Takeda asked. I raised an eyebrow- boy, these people were desperate.

"At the therapist," I spat, shoveling more peas onto my plate. I saw their faces fall like the Spanish armada and couldn't help but smile.

"The…therapist," Jeanne breathed. I could just tell what she was thinking- her son had made nice with yet another crazy. Stupid as the assumption was, at least her brain was functioning right.

"My girlfriend goes there," I added. I could see the stress lift from off their shoulders as Jeanne let out a heavy sigh and Takeda continued eating. "I had to pick her up. I met Jakotsu there."

"Well that's lovely," Jeanne replied. She eyed Jakotsu, sitting with his knee up on the table, staring, disgusted, at the green circles he continuously pushed around his plate. He couldn't have looked more like an immature brat if he wanted to. "Eat your peas, Jakotsu…"

He looked up, tossing his hair aside and pushing the china away from him, nonchalantly. "I don't wanna. They look icky," he said, poking at them with his fork. I rolled my eyes. If you are any stupider than Jakotsu Himekawa, I feel bad for you.

Jeanne's mouth twitched in annoyance, but she just heaved in a sigh and continued eating. If my parents saw me misbehaving like that, they would've yelled the crap outta me. It was either that his parents loved him very, very much, or they were flat-out scared of him. I was guessing the latter as I shoved some more meatloaf into my mouth. I only had the meatloaf and the rice left on my plate because I'd sorely avoided having to deal with the consequences of bad taste by eating the weird-tasting peas before anything else. I'd taken the practical way around it, as I saw it.

Jakotsu scoffed at his greens. "I mean, who made these? That filth Soledad? They're gross!" he exclaimed. He smiled cutely like it was nothing. "We should fire her," he said, with a smirk.

"Jakotsu, we are not going to fire Soledad," Takeda replied. "She's a very good nanny, for what little we're paying her."

"She's a bee-yatch," his son replied. "She curses at me in Spanish."

Jeanne busied herself by pouring everyone more water. Their water pitcher was blue glass, and it had some lemon slices floating around in it. Takeda gladly accepted the water, downing it with a stressed gulp. "Well, Jakotsu, it's called 'compromise,'" he said softly. They way he talked to him was just a kick and a half- he talked slowly and gently, like he was walking on eggshells around him. Like he didn't want to get him in a tantrum. "If you want her to stop, you have to compromise and stop to think about what's making her react the way she does. Humans require some sort of cooperation in order to function correctly in their environment."

"Would you like some more water, Inuyasha?" Jeanne asked, oblivious. I shrugged and she tipped the pitcher. I muttered a "thank you" and stared at glared at the glass.

"But what if there's levels," Jakotsu replied. "What if there's ranks. I mean. If someone is higher above someone else, there's re-spect. Ranks are based on power, and people with more power over others deserve deference."

"Everyone is equal, Jakotsu," Jeanne said with a frown. "All men were created equal. Don't they teach you that in religion?" She shook her head disapprovingly.

"All men," he said. "Men is the key-word. Women-filth don't deserve shit. But. Not everyone is equal. Some people rise above others."

"Why don't we get off this topic," Jeanne suggested. "So! Inuyasha- I hear you're a big fan of music."

I glared at Jakotsu, who waved limply, with a grin. I kicked him under the table. "Uhmm. Yep."

"That's good," Takeda said. "What kind of music?"

"I dunno," I said, glaring at Jakotsu, who was now mouthing profanities and doing something sick with his fork. I rolled my eyes and replied, "Contemporary." Hey, it's not lying- it's expanded vocabulary.

Jeanne "hmmm"-ed and Takeda nodded. "Contemporary? As in…hmm. Rock music?"

I shrugged. "Yeah I guess."

"Well, I'm not too much a fan," he said, "but I do like some classic rock. Are you into jazz?"

"Uhh sure," I said, drinking my water. Jakotsu mouthed, "Liar!" with a big smile. Hiding my face from his parents, I mouthed back, "Shut up!" He said something- I wasn't sure what it was, because as soon as he opened his mouth to say it, I kicked him hard in the shin.

He quirked his eyebrow, suggestively. "Wow, you like playing footsy, huh?" he said out loud. He shrugged and reclined, balancing the chair on the two back legs. "Whatever floats your boat, cutie." He winked. I'd kill him.

"Jakotsu? Are you finished?" I asked through clenched teeth. "I think you should finish your food."

Jeanne nodded. "Yes, that's a good idea. Eat your food, Jakotsu." I smirked at him; he stuck out his tongue at me.

"I don't feel like it," he replied.

"Jakotsu," Jeanne started, "Please."

"But it's so gross!" he protested. "And I'm tall enough as it is. And healthy, too."

Jeanne sighed. "Jakotsu, svp ne me embarrassent pas devant votre ami." Yup- French. I only remember what she was saying because I remember the expression on her face- worn, tired. Beaten by the fact that her son was an idiot.

"I'm not!" he cried. "What, you think I'm embarrassing? This is the way I always act- if you stupid-asses were here half the time you woulda known that by now." He folded his arms triumphantly.

"Vous ne devriez pas parler au sujet des problèmes de la famille devant d'autres, Jakotsu," Jeanne replied. Even though I didn't know why she was saying, but I could tell she was annoyed (because of this I credited her with being sane).

"The you shouldn't make the problems," he spat, venomously.

Jeanne looked helplessly at her husband. "Takeda? Tell him to stop this. He's your son."

"Jakotsu, remember what I said about compromise," he said.

"And you should remember what I said about I-don't-give-a-damn," he retorted.

Takeda sighed in defeat, pushing his square-framed glasses higher up on his nose. "Look- if you listen to your mother, you can leave the table without eating your peas."

"Yay!" he exclaimed, getting up and pulling me with him by the shoulder. He dragged me out and against that Spanish woman as I cried out:

"Thankyoufordinner."

>>>>>>>

"You didn't say you were rich," I huffed, sitting down on the office chair.

"Huh? That's 'cause I'm not," he answered, throwing more of the stuff he'd so graciously thrown at me earlier to the side of the room.

I got up, sighing at his lack of cleaning skills, and started to neatly arrange things on the shelf. Idiot. "Then why, may I ask, do you have a fucking nanny?"

"'Cause my parents don't wanna deal with me," he said simply, fixing his hair in the long mirror next to the white dresser.

I didn't say anything. Here I was, thinking his family was going to be the fucking Ringling Brothers, while all the while, they were normal. Too normal, and they weren't home half the time, either, according to the previous argument at the dinner table. So it kinda made you question why he turned out the way he turned out. And now he was telling me that they basically hated him- and I couldn't respond. I didn't know how to respond.

"My parents are supposed to be calling soon," I blurted out. Thank the Gods for my parents.

"Are you sleeping over?" he questioned, just as randomly as my last comment. I rolled my eyes. Didn't I just make that clear?

"No. It'd give you more chances to do more things to me than I like," I replied. He raised his eyebrows, as if questioning me. "And you didn't have any chances in the first place, so don't even think about it."

"Aww, Yasha-"

His speech was interrupted by my cell phone ringing. I reached into my back pocket and clicked the ON button. "Mom?"

"Hi, honey," she said softly. Compared to Jeanne, she sounded gentle. "Listen, we're having some car trouble-"

"Car trouble?" I interjected, skeptically. No way in Hell was I staying the night here.

"Yes. I'm afraid we're not going to be able to pick you up," she replied. "You see, your father's gotten us into an accident on the L.I.E.- and Sesshoumaru has the other car, he's spending the night at Rin's house."

"I'll just walk then," I blurted out. "It's a few blocks away-"

"No, I'm not going to let you do that, Inuyasha," Mom said sternly. "Remember that pedophile who was going around Bayside? I love you too much to do that." Suspicion intoned her voice, and she added, "Besides, from Kagome's house? Are you aware that Kagome lives in Flushing?"

Shit. I forgot- that had been my excuse. I sighed. "I can just walk. It's fine."

"No, you may not," she replied. My mother, while not a normally stubborn person, fiercely protects her little darling angel- me, if you didn't already guess- from any harm whatsoever. "Can you get Kagome to drive you?"

"No," I spat. "Kagome doesn't have a driver's license."

"I mean her parents," she answered weakly. "Can they give you a ride, sweetie?"

I sighed, remembering how Jakotsu's parents had left right after dinner, and how I don't have a key. Just dandy for me, the human trampoline. "No. Whatever. I'll just…stay over." At this, Jakotsu let out one of his annoying fan girl squeals. I dragged my finger across my neck and paid attention to my mother again.

"…such a good boy. Behave at Kagome's, alright?" she asked.

"Yeah. Sure."

"Alright. Goodbye. Goodnight."

"Yeah," I grumbled, and turned off the phone.

By then, Jakotsu was already setting everything up, getting out a toothbrush and a t-shirt. He knew he was getting what he wanted- that was what annoyed me the most about him.

>>>>>>>

A/N: Well…actually I feel kinda bad because it might've not lived up to everyone's expectations, because I was leading everyone on to think that Jakotsu's family was just as fucked-up as Jakotsu…Well, review if you feel so obliged! Sorry for the crappy middle and the spelling errors too- I don't feel like checking it. But I think it's acceptable.

Happy April.