Redemption

Chapter 8

Rebecca's note had stated that she would call in the morning. So when Jonathan went to answer his door at 10am the next morning he hadn't expected to see Rebecca standing on the other side.

"Jon, you're so thin! Don't they feed you on that starship of yours?" she asked as she gave him a bear hug.

"Hi Rebecca. I thought you were gonna call."

"I know," she replied as she walked in, "but I didn't want to take the risk of you saying you didn't want to meet up."

"I wouldn't have said that."

"Perhaps not…but you might not have wanted to see me today. And I have so much to tell you!"

"Oh."

"What's wrong? You seem out of sorts." She looked around the room and noticed her flowers. "Ah, I see you got the lillies — good."

"Yeah thanks, they're lovely. You want a drink or something?"

"No, I'm fine. Had breakfast just before I came over. Still adjusting to the time change, so I've been up before the crack of dawn. You know Europe's 9 hours ahead of us."

"Right."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Which one was that?"

"I asked you what was wrong. And why did you lose so much weight? You must be around 20lbs lighter than when I saw you last year."

"You look great, " he stated, hoping to divert her attention away from the question about his weight loss. Besides she really did look great, it wasn't one of those polite compliments. She must have retouched the blonde highlights in her hair; they looked new and very becoming. Her skin was glowing and her bright blue eyes glistened with health. She looked as beautiful as the first day he'd met her.

"Thanks, Jon."They made their way into the living room and sat down together.

"I tried to get back a few days earlier so I could make the welcome home ceremony but my damn editor really screwed things up for me. I was covering some political nonsense in Spain and then there was a problem with getting a shuttle flight in time to be back here. So it didn't work out in the end. Sorry. I'd have loved to see you being hailed as the planet's hero," she explained.

"Don't worry, you didn't miss much."

"What's with the sour expression?"

"I'm just saying not is all as it seems."

"Well that's a cryptic comment liable to get my reporter's juices going. Actually, I do have a slightly ulterior motive in seeing you — but I don't think you'll mind."

She was as bubbly and happy as ever. She hadn't changed at all. Her life was all about the story, whatever was the latest scoop — anything she could get her hands on and she never seemed to run out of energy.

"Let me guess, you want an interview with me?"

"Not just an interview…but an exclusive interview. I want to hear the real story…not what you've told anyone else."

"I haven't spoken to any other reporters and I'm not authorized to tell you anything either."

"Since when?"

"Apart from what's been broadcast on the news and printed in the papers, what went on in the Expanse is classified — Starfleet orders." He'd guessed Starfleet thought the public couldn't stomach the idea of their "hero" committing piracy to save their planet.

"Well my editor's gonna be so disappointed, he thought this was gonna be the biggest interview of the year."

"Sorry, no can do."

"Oh well, I'll live," she smiled. "But you can tell me right, I mean off the record?"

"I could hardly share any details with you before I left, what makes you think I can tell you anything now, Rebecca?"

"Oh I don't know…we've kept plenty of secrets for each other. Besides, it's me. You know you can trust me."

"I do trust you, but I can't break the rules. Besides, believe me it isn't something you want to know about."

"Jon, I'm a reporter. There isn't anything I don't want to know about."

"You're only saying that because you don't have details. Just trust me on this one. You're better off not knowing."

"Something bad happened out there didn't it? That's why you lost so much weight — from the stress."
"I'm not answering any of your questions. You can hypothesize to your heart's content. My lips are sealed." Maybe he should attempt to put on a bit of a show — acting all miserable and moody would only encourage her to question him further and she'd try and needle something out of him. "Okay, I get the message loud and clear," she answered, giving up, but only for the time being. She continued, "But you can still take me up on my second offer."

"And what would that be?" he asked, pretending to sound intrigued.

"Well how do you like the idea of a two week all expense paid trip to the South Pacific? I bet you could do with a vacation."

"What's the catch?"

"No catch…unless you consider going with me a catch. And before you think this is my idea of a romantic tryst, we'd be staying in a two bedroom villa along a private beach in Fiji. You can rest, relax, unwind and there'd be no one to bother you…well except me," she smiled.

"Who's paying for this trip?"

"Oh my editor. It's our reward for the exclusive. But no need to tell my boss about Starfleet's rules of secrecy until we get back, right?"

"Rebecca…" He gave her a slight look of disapproval.

"Oh come on, I think we both deserve it. My schedule has been non-stop over the last year. I need to catch my breath. The sound of a tropical beach, a little snorkelling, reading a good novel, and sipping mimosas doesn't sound half bad to me. And of course having a good friend along for the ride would make things perfect. What'd ya say?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno."

"Jon, it's not like you to pass up a free vacation."

He stood up and walked over to the bar and poured himself a drink. He offered her one, but she refused. "Little early in the morning to be drinking, isn't it?" she asked.

She was right, and he was supposed to be putting on an act so she wouldn't catch on. Boy, he was doing a great job! If he carried on at this rate she'd be nagging him about getting help from a therapist with whatever he was having trouble with…just like T'Pol.

He'd already poured the drink and wasn't gonna waste it so swallowed in one gulp. "I'm off duty, it's not a big deal," he explained.

"Never seen you drink in the morning, even when you were off-duty."

"Rebecca, don't analyse — I know it's an inherent quality for you and it comes naturally as a reporter…but there's nothing to analyse, here, okay?" He put on his best fake smile.

"If you say so," she answered, but remained unconvinced. "Anyway, you coming to Fiji then? I could cook my famous linguini…maybe even get you to put on a few pounds."

Perhaps he should go — he had mixed feelings about it, but a change of scenery might do him some good, and after all he'd be following Forrest's orders. "Can I think about it?" he asked.

"The shuttle flight to Fiji leaves at 1200 hours tomorrow. The tickets are non-refundable. What's holding you back?"

"I'm not as impulsive as you."

"Carpe diem."

Hmm…seize the day and what not. She had a point. It wasn't as if he had any other plans, and sulking around his apartment was getting tiresome.

"Okay, you've made your point. I'll go."

"Great!" She got up off the couch and hugged him excitedly. "We'll have a fantastic time! You won't regret it, I promise."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Anyway I better be on my way…I have loads of packing to do."

The door buzzed just as Rebecca was about to open it. "Expecting anyone?"

"No," he replied and went to answer. Standing on the other side of his threshold was T'Pol.

"I came to return the jacket," she explained.

He invited her in. "I didn't realize you had guests." She noticed an attractive tall blonde lady standing in the living room. Had to be Rebecca.

"It's okay, and I told you last night there was no rush."

The blonde lady approached them. "I'm Rebecca," she said outstretching her hand to T'Pol. T'Pol awkwardly shook her hand, not wishing to be rude.

"This is T'Pol, Enterprise's first officer," Jonathan explained to Rebecca. T'Pol noted how he'd called her the ship's first officer, not his first officer as he normally did.

"I've heard such wonderful things about you…I bet Jon would have never made it back to Earth without your skills." Rebecca was doing her best to be friendly, but sensed animosity in the air: Jon and the Vulcan seemed uncomfortable in each other's presence.

"I'm returning this jacket which I believe is yours," T'Pol told Rebecca, and handed her the black jacket.

"Oh my gosh, this old thing? Jon, I must have left this here years ago."

"Yup. I only came across it last night," Jonathan replied.

"Well I have to dash. It was nice meeting you, T'Pol."

"Likewise," returned T'Pol.

"Jon, I'll call you this evening with all the details and arrange to meet up at the shuttleport tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah that will be fine."

Rebecca left leaving the captain and Vulcan on their own. Jonathan could see the wheels turning in her head, trying to piece together what was going on from the snippets of information she'd gathered.

"I'm flying to Fiji tomorrow." Best to get to the point and come out with it he thought.

"I gathered you were travelling somewhere. How long will you be gone?"

"Two weeks."

"I see. I wish you and Rebecca a pleasant trip."

"Thanks. What are you gonna do, T'Pol?"

"No need to concern yourself, Captain."

She was back to using his formal title. "I'm asking as a friend."

"And I'm replying as one."

"Okay, don't tell me then. By the way you left your ingredients here last night."

"Yes, I forgot them."

Jonathan had a sudden brainwave. "T'Pol, would you do me a favour?" He probably shouldn't be asking her any favours after he'd been such a cad with her, but this was really more to her advantage. If she agreed it would ease his conscience a little knowing she had somewhere a little more spacious than her hotel room to stay at, and of course she could cook as much Vulcan food as she wanted in his kitchen.

"This favour being?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I need someone to look after Porthos while I'm gone. You said that you'd come to like him more when you took care of him in the Expanse. He isn't too much trouble, just take him out for a walk once a day and feed him. And I'd like you stay here and make yourself at home.""I told my mother I'd be on Vulcan within 10 days…who would look after Porthos when I left?"

"Could you postpone the trip by a few days? I know it's asking a lot but you'd really be helping me out."

"Very well, I agree." She didn't think her mother would mind a further delay of a few days, and it would be nice to have accommodations larger than her hotel room. Plus the use of the kitchen would be convenient.

"I'll be leaving tomorrow morning. If that's okay with you, you could move in then."

"Yes, that's agreeable."

"Are you alright, T'Pol?" She seemed more stoic than usual.

"I'm fine. If there's nothing else, I'll be on my way."

"Okay. And thanks again for agreeing to do this."

She left and he went to make a late breakfast.

Jonathan spent most of the day getting ready for his trip to Fuji. This time he couldn't avoid going to the store — there were purchases to be made and if people were gonna stop him for autographs etc well he'd just have to politely tell them he was busy.

He went to a nearby mall buying all the vacation essentials such as sunscreen, toiletries, insect repellent and so forth. He then thought a few new outfits wouldn't hurt — he hadn't been on vacation since Enterprise's shore leave on Risa. He bought two new pairs of pants and a couple casual tops. Nothing outlandish though, mostly conservative. He wasn't like Trip, and he felt too old to be wearing loud Hawaiian shirts.

Since he'd braved the mall he decided he might as well do a few groceries and bought himself some supplies for dinner tonight. When he noticed the melons on special he thought of T'Pol and placed several in his shopping trolley. He selected an assortment of other fruit he thought she'd enjoy which included kiwi, bananas, apricots, peaches, apples and grapes.

He was grateful she'd be staying with Porthos. Not being able to read her reaction earlier, he hoped she was okay. He shrugged his shoulders — of course she'd be okay. She was a strong unemotional Vulcan.

When he arrived home he unpacked his groceries and made some dinner. Then he got busy packing. Rebecca called around 9pm to make sure everything was on schedule. She offered to pick him up around 9:30am and they could travel to the shuttleport together. He thanked her and agreed that it was a good idea.

He needed to let T'Pol know that he'd be leaving at that time, he hadn't told her what time to come around. He didn't have the number to her hotel so checked his computer screen to see if the information was in the local San Francisco Hotel Database. Within a few minutes he located it and called them, asking to be transferred to T'Pol's room.

He waited while the operator had him on hold, trying to connect him. Less than a minute later T'Pol's face appeared on screen.

"T'Pol."

"Captain."

"I wanted to let you know that I'll be leaving around 9:30am tomorrow, so think you could drop by half an hour before then so I can give you the keys and so forth?"

"Yes, that's not a problem." Her tone was dry.

He remained on the line but didn't say anything.

"Was there something else?" she asked.

"Er…no…that's all. Well apart from me being grateful for you looking after Porthos."

There was no response to this comment. "Goodnight T'Pol." She bid him goodnight and he turned off the viewscreen, sitting down at his desk.

In having rejected her, had he destroyed any hope of them being friends again? He hoped on his return from Fiji things might be different, that she'd have forgiven him. But he doubted he'd be seeing much of her upon his return — she said she was going to Vulcan, and she'd probably stay there until Enterprise was put back into service.

Well he'd made his bed…now he had to lay in it so to speak. How different it could have been if T'Pol had been the one accompanying him to Fiji. He closed his eyes and imagined her standing alone on a white sandy beach at the edge of the shore in an off-the-shoulder flowing white beach dress with the wind kicking up her skirt and the tide lapping at her bare feet. He envisioned himself approaching her, taking her in his arms, pressing his lips to hers and then caressing her olive neck and bronze naked shoulders.

The vision made him catch his breath.

He felt his heart ache at the thought of her. He loved her and he was missing her. He'd missed her the entire time he'd been in the Expanse…even though her quarters were only a few doors away from his. Assured that her feelings lay with his chief engineer he'd kept himself to himself, respecting their privacy and wishing them happiness, despite the pain their supposed relationship was causing him.

And now all that had pain had been for nothing! She hadn't even been with Trip. He'd been so gullible. In hindsight he'd wished he'd asked Trip if the rumours had been true but hadn't wanted to put the commander on the spot. Asking T'Pol or just dropping hints had been an option too, but he hadn't pursued either.

Well what was the point of mulling over all this now? He couldn't cry over spilt milk. What was done was done. But a voice inside his head kept telling him what a fool he was to reject the only woman he loved, the only one he'd really ever loved since Margaret.

Another voice replied that he'd done the right thing — T'Pol might be hurt now but she'd get over it. And being Vulcan he thought she could probably meditate the feelings away and just get on with life. T'Pol didn't need to be burdened with his mixed up emotional state, fluctuating moods and unstable psyche.

He loved her but maybe that wasn't enough. He was so wrapped up in his guilt and anger over the events in the Expanse he felt as if there wasn't enough of him to actually give to T'Pol. She deserved more. She deserved his undivided attention, not a man who was obsessed with the past and wallowing in guilt.

So that was how he justified his actions to himself. He didn't like it…but lately he hadn't been keen on many of his decisions.

As for Fiji and Rebecca, well it could be a good opportunity to rest up and relax. Hopefully Rebecca would keep him occupied with excursions, tours, and talking about her job which she loved to do. She had many a tale to tell from her numerous adventures circling the globe on her different assignments. Hopefully he wouldn't have to think too much.

He'd met her not long after A.G. and he had been suspended for taking out the NX-Beta and breaking the warp 2 barrier. She'd heard about their suspensions and smelled a story in the works. She'd tracked him down to his apartment and set up an appointment for an interview. He'd told it from his vantage point, not painting the Vulcans in a very flattering light, and getting a chance to tell the world more about his father and his father's dream.

The article had been a success and had landed Rebecca a promotion. To thank him she'd invited him for dinner. They'd discovered that they both enjoyed each other's company and agreed to meet up again when she was next in town. Soon they'd begun dating and it lasted several years.

While it was a serious relationship neither one ever spoke of marriage or children, almost as if it was taboo. It could have been because of their schedules — she was regularly out of town on assignment, and he would often stay up till the early hours of the morning working on the NX-Project.

So at the time, the relationship had suited both of them to a T. But there had come a point where Rebecca had wanted more, but she'd acknowledged that Jonathan just wasn't the man who could give it to her. They'd gone out to dinner once and she'd explained most of this to him. She doubted he'd ever marry or settle down. In her eyes, he'd always be married to Starfleet. He'd smiled sadly at her comment, but didn't attempt to deny it.

She'd told him she was leaving for Australia, she'd accepted a long term assignment in Sydney and she was going to be gone for at least six months. After that she'd told him she'd continue roving the globe. This dinner had been a kind of goodbye. Her parting words had been that she hoped they could remain friends.

That much had happened. She'd often fly into San Francisco for some important event in his life, or sometimes just to say hi. Her work also brought her back to the city every couple months so it wasn't as if they ever lost touch. She was there when he'd officially been promoted to Captain and had attended the ceremony when he received the four bars on his uniform.

She'd watched from the audience balcony as Forrest had given Enterprise her send-off speech, and she'd been one of his first visitors when he'd returned to Earth after the Xindi attack. She was a good friend and he appreciated that.

However, he was curious as to why she hadn't met someone else yet and married. She was an attractive woman…why was she still single?

Noticing the time, he desisted from mulling over stuff and got up to finish his packing.

TBC