Well, basically this is the product of going high off of too many cranberries. This and the chapters that follow were created using a very complicated method which is actually quite easy to understand and isn't complicated at all. Basically one of us (usually Phawke) writes a random starting few sentences on word. Then we make all of the text white but the last sentence and/or last few words.
Then the next person has to continue the story as best as they can having only seen that last part. And then they white out all the text but the last bit, and the story is continued. Etcetera, etcetera. And this is how it turns out.
'AHHHHHHHHHHH!' yelled Frank Woodley as he fell down a huge hole inconveniently placed in the middle of the pathway.
'What's his problem?' said Harry, scratching his head.
'He just fell down a huge hole inconveniently placed in the middle of the pathway,' said Hermione, matter-of-factly. 'Where did Ron go?'
'Dunno. Jamaica?'
'Jamaica?' asked Aunt Petunia. 'No way, Majorca is soooo much better. Where, by the way, Vernon, Dudley and I are going to. And YOU'RE not coming! Haha!'
Suddenly there was a loud booming noise. 'Remember my last, Petunia…'
'Déjà vu.' said Aunt Petunia.
'Déjà vu.' said Aunt Petunia.
'So, are you trying to say that you scratched my Wiggles CD?' thundered Voldemort murderously to a cowering Piers Polkiss.
'Um, the thing is…' Piers looked around the Death-Eaters secret hideout frantically and spotted something shiny sticking out of the wall. He ran up to it and poked the shiny silver thing. It fell out of the wall. It was a staple.
Narcissa walked into the room.
'Voldy! Naughty boy! Have you been stapling your bedroom walls again?'
'No, of COURSE not!' said Voldy, hiding his stapler behind his back.
'He has too!' yelled Arkie Phillpott.
'Have not!'
'Have too!'
'Have not!'
'Have too!'
'Have NOT!'
'Shut up!' yelled a migraine-affected Sirius.
'Sirius? You're alive?'
'Of course not,' said Sirius, his voice slurred. 'I just got reincarnated into a bunny rabbit…' he fell over with a thump.
Then, to Ginny's amazement, he melted into the solid stone floor.
'Uh oh, this can't be good,' said Professor McGonagall.
Then she also melted into the floor.
Ginny screamed and poked the floor with a stick.
It went straight through.
She gasped. 'GASP!'
Then Ginny did something extremely stupid and extremely brave. She took a great running leap and shoved her wand up the trolls nose. at this point the author wishes to intervene and say that this is NOT plagiarism. This isn't JKR's troll. He was called Andy. This one's called Donaldson.
"Me… stupid…" said the troll.
'Too right!' yelled Ernie MacMillan. Then the troll spotted Ron.
'You… look… funny…'
'I know you are, but what am I?' asked Ron.
Bellatrix Lestrange popped up from inside a trashcan. 'ELMO IN GROUCHLAND!' she shrieked.
'Uh… what?' said Ron, confused.
'KISS ME! I'M IRISH!' said Narcissa, popping up from the trashcan next to Bella's.
'TWIN FREDDOS FOR SALE! NOT SOLD SEPERATLEY!' shrieked Andromeda, from yet another trashcan.
'Not sold separately?' repeated Mark Evans incredulously. 'Why, that's an outrage! I'm suing Cadbury!'
'Wouldn't it be nice if the world was Cadbury…?' sang Aberforth.
'NO!' yelled PremzaWitchOfWeirdos and Dudette13.
'Really? Why?' asked Aberforth.
'Long story…' said PremzaWitchOfWeirdos and Dudette13, and returned to their large container of cranberries.
'Anyway… let's get straight to the point. What're we going to do about Percy?' asked George.
'What do you mean?' asked Hermione.
'His singing is terrible! And he has "Hung Up" stuck in his head! I'm gunna die!'
'Hey cool it!' said Ernie Prang. 'It's not his fault his voice is terrible!'
'Yes it is,' said Percy shamefully. 'When I was six, I fell over and landed on a chicken,'
'What's that got to do anything with it?' said Snape.
'I like KFC,'
'So?'
'I like KFC. I like chicken. I almost killed one!' wailed Percy.
'But if you liked Kentucky Fried chicken, you don't care about chickens unless their Kentucky Fried.'
Percy paused. 'I LOVE KFC!'
'What, K-Marts Finest Cranberries?' asked Snape.
'No, Kentucky Fried Chicken.' said Percy sardonically.
'Let's all eat cranberries!' said Dumbledore.
'Wait, isn't Dumbledore dead?' asked Cedric.
'Bit rich coming from you.' said Amos Diggory.
'Well, whatever. Let's just eat cake.' said Flitwick happily.
'Cake? Who said cake?' said Fred.
'Flitwick,' said George.
'You idiot! That was the cue to start singing the 'I want candy song!'
'Oh. Oops,' said George.
'Anyway, what type of cake is it?'
'Cranberry,'
'Yay!'
Like it? Didn't think so. Joking, joking. Who could not love this pile of crap and cranberries?
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