Ron was painting his bedroom roof bright pink, for reasons best known to himself. Unfortunately, that moment Ron chose to knock the paint bucket off the ladder and towards to doorway, which Fleur had just opened, carrying her pure white no-more wedding dress.
'J'ACCUSE! YOU IMBEZILE! ZE WEDDING CANNOT TAKE PLACE ZIS SUMMER! EET IS YOUR FAULT!'
'Hey, chill.' said Mr. Lovegood soothingly.
'CHILL? HOW CAN WE CHILL?' yelled Hermione hysterically.
'OK, breathe.' said Frank Longbottom.
'I can't! I'm choking!' coughed Hermione.
'Wait… Dad, aren't you insane?' asked Neville, looking at his father with a confused expression.
'Of course I am, Neville!' said Frank, conjuring a large round piece of cheese and sticking his head in one of the holes.
Voldemort popped up from behind a dustbin.
'GIANT CANS OF AREOSOL DEODERANT ARE TAKING OVER THE EARTH! EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!'
'Oh no!' said Winky, teetering on the edge of her seat.
'What?' asked Goyle.
'Didn't you hear about the evil cans of deodorant?' asked Dobby.
'EVIL CANS OF DEODERANT?' asked Goyle and wet his pants.
'Eww… someone clean his pee up, please.'
'How about Gilderoy Lockhart?' said Harry with an icepack on his forehead.
'Hehe! I like cranberries!' said Lockhart, who was floating around the office in a large pink bubble, littered with cranberries.
'Hey! Where did everybody go?' said Malfoy.
'Uhhh… we're still here,' said Goyle, indicating him and Crabbe.
'And meeeeee! I like cranberries!' yelled Lockhart and floated out to window.
'I'm still here,' said Harry, looking confused. 'Am I the only sane one at Disneyland?'
'No, Harry, you're just as sane as I am!' said Luna, riding her thestral down from a beech tree.
'LUNA? YOU HAVE A THESTRAL?'
'Yep, his name's Benjamin.'
'Benjamin? What kind of a dumb name is that?' asked Justin Finch-Fletchey. Luna looked highly offended.
'Hey, my middle name's Benjamin!' she retorted, losing her dreamy aurora.
'Your- your middle name?' said Susan Bones weakly.
'THAT'S RIGHT!' Yelled Fenrir Greyback. He grabbed Susan by the arm and disappeared. They reappeared in dank, dark dungeon. She was surrounded by masked Death Eaters. Susan shuddered at their pink Death Eater robes. 'You know, you guys should really get tailored suits. Or how about a designer brand? Like- DKNY?'
'DKNY?' asked Bellatrix, who, as a pureblood had no idea what it was.
'It's the equivalent of Twilfitt and Tattings.' explained Hermione.
'Pfft, I don't need advice on designer brands from a filthy little mudblood.' She sneered.
'On the contrary, I believe you do.' said Rudolphus, eyeing Bella's outfit.
'ARE YOU INSULTING MY FASHION SENSE?' Bellatrix thundered.
'O-of course not, my darling evil wife.' cowered Rudolphus. 'I-I thought you were, er, Narcissa.'
'Hey!' said Narcissa indignantly. 'I resent that! I'm not evil! Oh wait, I am.' She looked around at the other Death Eaters.
'DEATH EATER BARBEQUE AT MY HOUSE!' Yelled Bellatrix.
'You don't have a house. You've been sleeping on my couch since you broke out of Azkaban.' said Narcissa, impatiently.
'Well, Death Eater Barbeque at your mansion then. And how come I have to sleep on your couch if you have three hundred and ninety four guest rooms?'
'Um… well… you see, Bella, they're used for storing all my cranberries.'
'Cranberries? Where?' yelled Voldy eagerly.
'Nooooo! They're mutants, they'll eat you alive!' cried Greyback in warning.
'Ahhhhh' said Voldy, as he was eaten alive.
'Told you so.' said Greyback smugly.
'Well, that takes care of that problem.' said Harry.
'But what about the horcruxes?' asked Hermione
'They were eaten by the mutant cranberries!' said Lupin simply.
'Yet another reason to love cranberries.' agreed Tonks.
'Chocolate's better!' argued Lupin.
'Nuh – uh! Cranberries!' said Tonks.
'Chocolate!'
'Cranberries!'
'Chocolate!'
'Cranberries!'
'CHOCOLATE!'
'CRANBERRIES!'
'CHOCOLATE TIMES INFINITY!'
'CRANBERRIES TIMES-'
'What about chocolate covered cranberries?' suggested Wilkie Twycross.
'Mmmm… chocolate covered cranberries…' said Lupin and Tonks in unison.
'What about Catwoman?' said Moody.
Tonks started. 'What the bloody hell has that got to do with rocking-horse shit?'
'Nothing.'
'…' said Lupin.
'When has any line in this story got anything to do with the line before it?'
'Good point.'
'I LIKE CHEESE!'
'See?'
'Oh holy crap-'
'What?'
'Grawp's eating my shoe!'
'BAD GRAWPY!' said Hagrid.
'Sorry,' said Grawp, looking ashamed as he spat the old sneaker out.
'How did it taste, Grawp?' asked Hepzibah.
'Like shoe…' said Grawp.
'Your English is improved, Grawp.' commented Stubby Boardman.
'Yeah, but that's only coz I'm being possessed by Colin Creevey.'
'Who shot who in the what now?' said Uncle Vernon.
'Shut up! I'm trying to watch the Great Humberto!' yelled Dudley from the bathroom's living room.
'They bathroom's living room?' screamed Aunt Petunia to the authors. 'WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON AROUND HERE? HOW COME I'M NEVER IN ANY STORIES THAT MAKE SENSE?'
'Because you're a stupid jerk and everyone hates you.' said Malfoy, sending her running off crying.
'That was horrible!' yelled Hermione.
'Do you think I care what you think is horrible?' asked Malfoy.
'Well, obviously not, by the look of your outfit.' said Hermione, gesturing at his awful bright green robes.
'Is it just me, or is Hermione the fashion queen in this story?' asked Yvonne, Aunt Petunia's friend. 'That's so out of character.'
'Ohhh… right.' Said Hermione, disappearing behind a massive book.
'AHHH! HERMIONE'S DISSAPEARED! WE HAVE TO GO SAVE HER!' yelled Ron.
'Nah, don't bother.' said Ginny.
'Why not!' said Harry indignantly.
'Because, she's going to be completely fine in the next insane story.' said Ginny.
'Yeah,' said Harry. 'I mean, who reads this crap anyway?'
Do you read this crap? Of course you do, because you're reading it right now. Now review, or Tongze and I will become emos and kill ourselves, which will result in no new stories or updates.
re·view
verb (past and past participle re·viewed, present participle re·view·ing, 3rd person present singular re·views)
survey of past: a report or survey of past actions, performance, or events
a review of stock market performance during the past five years
look at something critically: to examine something to make sure that it is adequate, accurate, or correct
They need to review their sales strategy.
give opinion on something: to write a journalistic report on the quality of a new play, book, movie, concert, or other public performance
He reviews movies for a newspaper.
give opinion on something: to write a journalistic report on the quality of a new play, book, movie, concert, or other public performance
He reviews movies for a newspaper.
education study for test: to study for a test by looking over notes and course materials
look back on something: to discuss or examine something again
She's writing an article reviewing the company's history.
noun (plural re·views)
article giving opinion: a journalistic article giving an assessment of a book, play, movie, concert, or other public performance
The book got unexpectedly bad reviews.
publication featuring reviews: a magazine or journal that publishes reviews
the Literary Review
re-examination of something: another look at or consideration of something
education discussion of material already learned: a brief discussion of subject matter already learned, in preparation for a test
This professor always has a review before a big test.
15th century. obsolete French reveue "inspection," revoir "inspect" Latin revidere "see again" videre "see"
-re·view·a·ble, adjective
-re·view·er, noun review or revue?
Review is the only spelling for the verb (meaning "to examine for accuracy or completeness," "to examine again," "to write a critique of," etc.) and for most noun senses: The novel had both good and bad reviews in the popular press. Revue is only used as a noun denoting a form of theatrical entertainment, and is the usual form in this meaning.
Microsoft® Encarta® 2006. © 1993-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.
Now that you know what a review is, REVIEW!
Tongze & Phawke