HELLO! I LIKE PINEAPPLES! Tongze likes pineapples too. I also like peaches. I had tinned peaches for breakfast today.

The Story is down there.

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'OW!' yelled Fenrir Greyback, stubbing his toe on a massive yellow thing.

'WTF!' Alecto yelled. 'Where'd that massive spiky yellow thing come from?'

'It's… it's… a Giant Pineapple!' said Caracatus Burke.

'What? You mean we're in Australia?' asked Harry. 'Again?'

'Nope. I think Hermione just conjured up the Pineapple.' said Ron.

'Why would she do that?'

'Meh. As a stand for Elf Rights?' Ron guessed.

'What the bloody hell does a Giant Pineapple have to do with Elf Rights?'

'You mean it has Elf Rights or it has something to do with Elf Rights?'

'Dunno.' said Dai Lleweyn. 'Maybe we should ask Hermione if the Pineapple's joined Spew?'

'IT'S NOT SPEW!' screamed Hermione.

'Yeah, it's SPUG!' yelled Some Guy.

'An evil spug?'

'No…' said Some Guy.

'What kind of a name is Some Guy, anyway?' a Veela put in. Some Guy ran off crying.

'Aww. Poor Some Guy.'

'Oooh! Oooh! I know!' said Dennis Creevey. 'Let's buy him a present to make him feel better?'

'Ok! What do we buy him?' Winky asked.

'Um… a spug?'

'What's with the spugs?'

'Ok, ok… How about a toaster, then?'

'Great idea! Let's go buy one right now!'

'Ok, where should we go?'

'Harvey Norman!' yelled Wormtail.

'Go, Harvey Norman Go!' sang Bella.

'But what about the Good Guys? They're much cooler!' pointed out Voldy.

'Come on in and see the Good, Good Guys, Big Brands, Low prices!' sang Rudolphus.

'Come on in and see the Weird, Weird, Weird Guys!' sang Trelawney, drowning out Rudolphus' words. 'We'll chop you up and eat you!'

'Err… whatever.' said Bagman.

'OHMIGOD! BAGMAN WE HATE YOU!' Fred and George ran into the room with chainsaws.

'What is this, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre?' asked the Fat Lady, shaking her head.

'Nope, the England Chainsaw Massacre.' said Sir Cadagon.

'Oh,'

'AHHHH! EVIL TWINS WITH CHAINSAWS! EVERY MAN… er, and woman… FOR HIMSELF! Or herself, I guess.'

'Okay. Should we scream as well?' asked Ginny

'Yeah, if you want.'

'Okay,' said Ginny, and began screaming loudly. 'AHHHHHHHH! EVIL CHAINSAWS WITH TWINS!'

'WTF!'

'I'm not quite sure.' shrugged Susan Bones. 'But I think that Fred and George, the evil twins, have evil chainsaws, named Tex and Kate, who have children chainsaws that are twins named Sam and Sandy.'

'No, I think it was just a pun on what was said earlier.' said Hermione, rolling her eyes.

'Heh. Right.' said Susan.

'I would be raising my eyebrow right now,' said Terry Boot. 'But I can't.'

'ME NEITHER!' yelled Tongze.

'Suckers.' Phawke laughed.

'I KNOW!' shouted Terry. 'LET'S WAGE A WAR AGAINST EVERYONE WHO CAN RAISE AN EYEBROW!'

'YEAH!' everyone else who suffered the disability of not being able to raise an eyebrow agreed.

Phawke sniggered at Tongze, who had just written the last part, and unfortunately couldn't raise her eyebrows.

'WE WILL FIGHT BACK!' yelled Bellatrix, who had appeared climbing out of a Giant Peach, and incidentally could do Mexican waves with her eyebrows.

'WTF! A Giant Peach!' shouted Harry. 'Isn't that from that random Muggle Movie?'

'Well… this chapter certainly has a lot of Giant Fruits in it. Peaches… pineapples…'

'WHERE'RE THE GIANT CRANBERRIES!' demanded Dobby.

'We already had Giant Cranberries, a few chapters back.' Hermione reminded him.

'DOBBY WANTS GIANT CRANBERRIES!' Dobby screamed.

'Calm down.' Dobby's counsellor reminded him.

'You have a counsellor, Dobby?' asked Madame Maxime.

'Dobby has a counsellor! Ever since he found that he didn't want to call Professor Dumbledore a barmy old codger.'

'What's wrong with that?' Hermione whispered to Ron.

'Who wouldn't want to call an old guy a barmy old codger?' Ron whispered back. 'Dobby really does have mental problems.'

'Who said he didn't?' asked Hagrid.

'Dobby is having mental problems!' said Dobby.

'Touché.' said Harry, scratching Crookshanks behind the ears. 'Now where did I put my £100 Grocery Store voucher?'

'I think I saw it in the Forbidden Forest last week.' said Ron's Dad's Ford Anglia.

'Car! You're back!' said Arthur joyfully.

'Talk to the rear-view mirror.' said the Ford Anglia.

'Er… Ok.' said Arthur. 'Well, nice to meet you rear-view mirror. I'm Arthur Weasley, I have seven kids named William, Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, Ronald and Ginevra. My wife's name is Molly Weasley, her maiden name is Prewett. And her two brothers died in the War. Very tragic, yes. So… I've never talked to a rear-view mirror before.'

'Um,' said Ginny. 'Is anyone else concerned that Dad's talking to a rear-view mirror?'

'Look, I'm only talking to it because it said I was fat!' cried Arthur, and sat down and began eating a whole bucket of ice-cream.

'Hey Arthur, how would you feel if I was eating you?'

'Um… like I was being eaten by a giant tub of ice-cream?'

'And how does that make you feel?'

'I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!' Lupin cried, pulling his pocket watch out of his pocket.

'You work for the Queen of Hearts?' asked Charlie.

'No… I work for Dumbledore. Or whoever the leader of the Order is now. What I meant was; I'm late for a date with Tonks.' said Lupin. 'Facepalm!'

'Hahaha! Lupin has a pocket-watch!' Ron laughed. 'Neeeeeeerrrd!'

'That wasn't very nice.' Hermione frowned disapprovingly.

''Mione, as a Quidditch player, it's my job to-' Ron stopped as Harry passed by. 'Hey, Harry! Did you get a load of that nerd?'

'Which nerd?' asked Harry. 'Me, or-?'

'Noo… Lupin!'

'Lupin's not a nerd!'

'He has a pocket watch.'

'A pocket watch? Ok, he's a nerd.'

'Yeah. Like that bunny in Alice in Wonderland who's obsessed with his pocketwatch.'

'Hey!' said the bunny.

'My dear bunny, shut up!' said the Mad Hatter. 'Would anyone like tea?'

'Hey, Ernie!' said Justin Finch-Fletchey to Ernie MacMillan. 'He's as mad as a hatter! Get it? Huh? Huh?'

'No…' said Ernie, looking confused.

'Oh, right. Muggle thing.'

'Baboon's backside!' gasped Luna.

'It wasn't that funny.' said Ron.

'…'

'So… guys… whadda ya wanna do?' Aberforth asked. 'Fart?' he suggested.

'Ewww…' said everyone present.

'No, seriously, guys.' said Aberforth. 'I just farted.'

'Ewww…' said everyone again.

'No, that was a joke!' said Aberforth. 'You know, seriously? And Sirius and serious sound the same! LOL!'

'Um… how do you know Sirius?' asked Harry.

'We were beer buddies.' said Aberforth.

'Oh… ok.'

'I can't think of an ending.' said Phawke, the current writer. 'Ooh, I know!'

Then everybody died, the end.

(Sob) THE GIANT SQUID KILLED JACK SPARROW!

Nooo! It was the Giant Squid's evil brother, the Kraken! Which is pronounced wrongly! And anyway, Jack is gunna be in the next movie… yeah. We saw Dead Man's Chest today… awesome, Jellyman.

Totaleh. But Jack's dead! And Will's, like, heartbroken. And Bootstrap Bill is really really ugly!

And I'd just like to point out on public internet that our friend has a thing for Orlando Bloom. MWEHEHEHEHE! She kept a GIANT cup just because it has his picture on it.

Yes and our other friend has a thing for Jack Sparrow. Oh and don't blame us if we spoiled PotC2 for you! Not our fault! It's yours for reading this crap!

Oh yeah… REVIEW! OR WE'LL SPOIL MORE MOVIES! LIKE…LIKE…

SNAKES ON A PLANE!

Haha… that movie is soooo gay… not so much as Brokeback Mountain. LOL!

And the Rowan of Rin movie! Directed by a bukshah! And written by us and Liz! SHEBA PLACED A CURSE ON ROWAN SO HE CAN'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND FOR MORE THAN A FEW DAYS! MUAHAHAHA!

Review to tell us if you want the scripts. So they'll be spoilt.