Awaken before the Emerald Dawn

By: trappedineternity

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it. The characters belong to J.K Rowling. The plot bunny belongs to Black Ice. I am the owner of the fleshy part in the middle. This does contain spoilers. So if you have no read the 5th book, time to turn away. That and I am horrible at accents, so bare with me.

Warning: This story will contain yaoi. If you don't like it, I suggest you leave now. It might contain a few lemons and limes, but there will be warning at the beginning of the chapter and before the lime or lemon begins for those who don't wish to read them, they may skip over it ahead. Furthermore, this fic is dark and thus contains thought and possible acts of suicide and depression. Not your type of thing, I suggest you find something else… I'll accept comments and criticism but nothing about what I've just warned about.

Summary: check first chapter.

Side note: I do have a habit of changing views, which I also mark with stars, I will warn you before any yaoi or shounen-ai content. Sorry for the mix-up. And also there is a slight shounen-ai part in this chapter, about time right?

Chapter 6

T'was the week before Christmas...

The next day brought on the start of the Christmas Holidays. All the students were rushing about, trying to get everything ready for when they would meet their families at the London Station. The Marauders were appalled by this change of events that Harry was now living with Severus for the remainder of the year. Their plans for the Christmas holiday were well laid out. James would return to his family; Sirius and Remus would both go to the Lupin house, Sirius would firmly avoid going anywhere near Grimauld Place, avoiding all members of the Black family. Harry smiled as he looked to them all. "I trust you all will have a great holiday.", he said, smiling softly; a forced smile, Remus noted, though kept his opinions to himself.

Severus, on the other hand, laid on his bed, his head in Lucius' lap, closing his eyes as Lucius lazily pet him, running his fingers through his black hair. Severus sighed softly. "Well, I suppose the Malfoy Mansion will be nicely decked out for Christmas." Lucius sighed dramatically. "Oh, yes, it will be nice of course... it always is during the holidays. You know, my invitation to join me for the holidays still stands, Severus." The dark haired boy sighed as he curled up slightly. "I don't think I could stand being around all those people, Lucius. Seeing your family... no offence... but it would just remind me of my father and how..." his voice trailed off. Lucius continued petting him and nodded slowly. "Well, I want you to owl me every chance you get, understood? If this Harry person does anything wrong, I'll jump the first Portkey here and I'll come for you... and if you ever change your mind about this whole not going out of the castle for Christmas, you can always visit me at the Malfoy Mansion, alright?" Severus smiled as he nodded slowly. "Of course Lucius, I will let you know." He hugged him softly. "I am lucky to have a friend like you. You'll make someone very happy one day..."

Lucius' smile seemed to droop a little. "I'll write you a letter when I reach the mansion... For now, I have to catch the train or I'll be late." Severus nodded as he let him up. "I'll walk you to the station. Merlin knows you need help with all your luggage." Severus grabbed a few of his bags and started on his way towards the Hogsmeade station with Lucius, who beamed the entire way. "Happy Christmas Severus." Severus grinned and nods. "Happy Christmas Lucius." And with that, the blond was gone. Severus sighed as he pulled his cloak around him as he walked towards the castle; the winter wind was horribly cold this morning. Severus didn't much like the winter. It was always so cold and dead and white and pure... the sleep before the rebirth, even as things die they will one again come back, because we all know spring follows the winter.

Nonetheless, Severus made his way back, deciding to head down to his dungeons, to the room he shared with Harry. He knew that Harry wouldn't be back yet, considering he was with his Gryffindor friends... He had mentioned something about that over breakfast that morning. Severus said the password and opened the door. He laid down on his bed, opening a book from the library, a wonderful potions' diary, flipping through the pages curiously. He got up and slowly walked towards the lab next to his room. He was so glad Dumbledore remembered he had always wanted his own private lab to make his potions. He grinned to himself as he sat the book down and started to work on his potion.

Harry waved to the Marauders on the train until it disappeared from sight. He turned around, pulling his black robes around his shoulders, holding himself close, trying to warm up from the winter chill. He didn't know what to do with himself now.. He supposed he could go to the library and work on some of his homework... He nodded to himself as he went to his room and got his work before heading off. He sat down by himself in the cold library and started on his transfiguration essay. He started scribbling notes as he went and sighed.

The young Gryffindor couldn't help but feel depressed. He was alone again... His friends, well supposed friends, had left for their holidays with their family, leaving him to spend his holiday with Severus... not that there was something wrong with that... He groaned, that was a lie... there was something very wrong with that... it being Severus Snape in all... Severus Snape who was so much like him in some ways... where he was depressed, a certain jumble of feelings that Harry recognized and had within himself... buried deep.

Harry closed his eyes and hid his face in his hands. He felt so pathetic... So alone, left again like he was before. Instead of the Dursley house... it was Hogwarts.. None the less it was a prison... Slowly, numbly, he rose up, packed his bag and walked back to his room. He fell onto his bed and looked to the ceiling. Why was everything so complicated...? And then, things went to home... alright not home... the present... his present. He missed Hermione and Ron... of course, what good did they do for him... They left him afterwards, to be with each other, putting the same awful trust in him as everyone else did... Making him out to be the savior of the wizarding world... Hero... He was no hero... why was he a hero?

Sobs wracked his body as he clutched onto a pillow. He faced Voldemort again... and he would have failed if it wasn't for the person who sent him to the past. Or maybe it was Voldemort who sent him away? That could be possible... he could stay here and be tormented by flashes of his past... his parents and friends future... The people who would die... those who were dying now because he wasn't there... he was trapped here while the present... the future... might be going on without him. He had been here for a month, a whole month! And he was just sitting here feeling sorry for himself. He couldn't breathe!

Harry laid there on the bed, curled up so tightly, he couldn't move. He trembled, his sobs becoming worse and worse as the feelings of helplessness and feelings of being so pathetic... He wrapped himself up tightly in his blankets, crying into his pillow. Was there nothing he could do? Nothing would change in the future... nothing at all! He would always be like this, people will always die, no matter what time he was in... Sirius would die, his parents would die, Cedric would die, and everyone would die! He could do nothing to help them, they would all die thinking he was some greatness, some hero to save the world! "I'm not a hero...! Please... stop idolizing me... I'm no hero! I'm a coward! I'm pathetic!", he whispered.

Severus sighed as he came out of the lab, untying his hair, letting it tumble down his back. He ran his fingers through it, letting it loose and free. He blinked as he looked at Harry crying. "I'm not a hero... I'm not... stop idolizing me... please... leave me alone... I'm not a hero... I'm not!" he whispered. Severus laid his hand on his shoulder and squeezed softly. "Shh Harry... No one is asking you to be..." Harry looked up confused and then anger flashed over his features. "What? Of course they are! That's all they ask of me! They want me to save them all, want me to be their hero! Don't say it's not asked of me... it's expected!" Severus pulled Harry close to him, into a loose hug. "I don't. You don't have to save me Harry... You don't have to be my hero... I could be yours if you want..." He blinked a moment, why had he said that? What the hell was he going on about? He couldn't believe these things were pouring out of his lips like wine... but why?

Harry looked up at Severus, tears still staining his cheeks. Snape didn't want him to be a hero? Snape wanted to be his hero? A strange feeling rushed through him when he thought that Severus actually cared... actually wanted to help him. Harry searched Severus' dark onyx eyes, trying to find the answer to his questions, but, as always, that one gateway in his soul, to his thoughts, was guarded; not that Harry was surprised. He expected the shields would be up... just because Harry was unguarded and vulnerable, didn't mean that Severus would be.

The dark haired boy lightly rubbed his back . Harry sighed as he held Severus close to him. There was something about his embrace that made him warm and comfortable, as if he could actually trust Snape... But could he? Snape was a git in the future... Maybe this is why he'll hate Harry so much... Or perhaps, in the end, it was all because of his father... Harry closed his eyes and laid his head against Severus' chest. Even if this meant he was ruining the future, he was sure he would make it worse if he pushed him away, but then, thinking about it, Harry really didn't want to turn him away... didn't want to be alone. He felt strangely attached to him... Wait? Attached... Maybe attached was the wrong word... Maybe he was just similar to Severus, a weird kind of companionship... Yes, companionship, that's a better choice of words.

They stayed together like that for quite some time, just holding each other, Severus' absently started to rub his back, holding him close to him. He looked down at Harry curiously and smiled softly as he saw that the brunette had fallen asleep in his arms. Severus laid Harry down and was going to get up himself when he felt a tug. Harry had a grip on his hair, and didn't seem like he wanted to let go... Severus smirked a bit. He had three choices... He could wake Harry up... or pull his hair out... He couldn't wake him up... he looked so adorable... and he knew that Harry hadn't slept well that night either, and Severus would never pull his hair out... And so the third choice was to get into the bed with him and wait till he woke up... The Slytherin sighed and laid down with him. He was exhausted after his potion making, and after comforting the distraught Gryffindor. He supposed he needed the sleep as well. He relaxed in front of Harry and closed his eyes as he started to fall asleep.

Morning soon came, and Harry slowly began to wake up, only to feel another body pressed against him. He slowly opened his eyes to see Severus curled up against him, holding him close. He couldn't help but blush when he saw him. He really was beautiful when he slept, rather angelic... more of a fallen angel than anything. He ran his fingers through his hair and found that he already had a good grip on one lock of it. He slowly let go and nodded. So that's why Severus had stayed, Harry had subconsciously made him... But then, he had never slept so peacefully in his life than in that moment, being held... Hell... it wasn't often he had been held so intimately either... He normally was alone... But Severus had cared for him... about him... and then spent the night as his side, and Harry could delude himself into thinking that he had done it to make him feel better, but that might not be true.

And then the thought came to him, reminding him that he was, in fact, thinking about Snape here... Snape who had tormented him for five years, Snape who had saved his life on numerous occasions, Snape who had insulted him and found reasons to punish him every chance he got... The greasy git who didn't think him capable than anything other than screwing up things and playing the hero... The greasy git who was now holding him... who was now taking care of him, shown an interest in his safety and mental health... Needless to say, all these things had left the young Gryffindor very confused.

Feeling him watching him, Severus slowly and groggily began to wake. He looked around curiously and saw Harry watching him, his bright emerald eyes searching his. He blushed at the closeness of the two of them. "Morning..." he whispered. Harry smirked and bowed his head. "Morning Sev...erus.." The Slytherin smirked a bit and relaxed. They slowly untangled themselves from each other and sat on opposite sides of the bed. "Well... um.. Thank you for helping me last night, Severus... It was appreciated." Severus nodded slowly. "Um... it was alright. Returning the favour... besides, you looked like you could really use my help." Harry smiles as he relaxed. "Thank you... thank you so much... Severus..."

Author's note: Oh look, a happy ending... for this chapter... The next chapter will have some more action I think. The eye of the storm and all.. Thank you to all those who reviewed, who have been reviewing since the beginning. And thanks BlackIce for this brilliant idea, and thank you to Tonks for making sure everything make sense. See you all next chapter.

Severus: Yay! We're finialy entering the shounen-ai section.

Harry: Cuddling and sleeping. Who knew you were so sensitive?

Severus: OO What! No! Is that how she's portraying me! I AM NOT SENSITIVE! I AM THE GREASY, HEARTLESS GIT!

Harry: ruffles severus' hair my greasy heartless git.

Severus: grumbles and fumes