Azadeh was sitting at the table on the bedroom balcony and drawing, it made her feel better to concentrate on something else besides this thing that was hurting her. Right now she was drawing the Harry that was eighteen, the Harry that she loved, but on the same page, she drew the Harry that was now a Death Eater, a more handsome and strong Harry, but a Harry that was also darker...it was like a before and after picture.
Suddenly, Azadeh heard a small pop and looked to find Dobby by her side, "miss, dinner is ready."
"I'm sorry, Dobby, but I'm not very hungry. Thank you, though."
"But miss, Master Harry insists you come down, he told Dobby so," the house elf looked worried for her.
"Just tell him that I'm not feeling very well...he won't hit you or anything like that?"
"Oh no, miss. He treats Dobby well, miss." Dobby sighed, "very well, miss. I'll tell Master Harry you're not feeling well." With another small pop, he was gone.
After Dobby left, Azadeh stood up and looked out over the lands. She remembered her father, she met him a second time and gave him more money. They had discussed her wedding, he said that he was there and saw the whole thing, but of course, in his mastery of 'hiding in plain sight', he was not seen...even by her. She told him how Lucius beat her and her father nearly flew into a rage, he had vowed that one way or another, he would kill Lucius Malfoy. But he had told her some good news, that they may have found a way to release the bracelets, it was still experimental, but it was possible. Once they made sure, he'd come back for her and take it off...
Azadeh didn't know how she felt about that. She loved Harry, could she leave him behind, could she lose him again? What if she could convince him to come with her, leave all of this ugliness behind, would he do it? OR would he betray them and have most of the rebellion killed? But inside, she knew she couldn't stay. This wasn't who she was, and even though the idea of living with Harry in a beautiful home and having wealth was appealing, it was obtained at such a high cost...and she was meant for something else, so was Harry, but he was in a dark place, a place that blinded him to the light. Maybe, some day, she could come back for him.
She put her hands over her face and started to sob.
Harry stabbed at his food, she wasn't coming down, and when Dobby told him that she wasn't feeling well and wasn't GOING to come down, he suddenly grew very angry. He never got this angry with her, but for some reason today, Harry was flying off the handle. Maybe it was because she wanted him to remember something he couldn't or wouldn't because he was afraid of the past, maybe it was because she didn't except him the way he was, or maybe it was because she was constantly disobediant, always getting herself into trouble, always men paying too much attention to her, which he ALWAYS hated, or maybe it was because she let off this light and it made him feel ashamed of what he truly was...a killer. Yes. But it wasn't just one thing, it was all of those things.
Unlike Lucius, he didn't want to break her, he just wanted Azadeh to behave herself enough so it wouldn't draw the Dark Lord's attention anymore. Harry kept looking at the stairs, hoping she would change her mind, but it wasn't happening. So finally, he went upstairs to have a little chat.
Azadeh turned her head slightly as she heard the bedroom door open, it was Harry. She knew he would come up, but she sensed he was upset still. "Why didn't you come down for dinner?" he asked.
"I'm not that hungry and I don't feel very well anyway."
"Really?" Harry looked down at her sketchbook, she quickly closed it, but he took it away from her and looked through it. Pictures of their past, of his past, and the one with the picture of him before and after Voldemort. What really set him off was the one picture, very detailed, of him fighting Voldmort, with a dead Ginny at his feet...
Harry scowled and threw the sketchbook across the room, "why do you DRAW these things!"
"Because they are my visions and I can't help what I see..."
"But DO YOU HAVE TO DRAW THEM!"
"Why, does it finally HIT A NERVE AT WHAT YOU'VE BECOME!" Azadeh snapped, she finally snapped. She was so angry with him for not truly remembering, for betraying the ideals and the fight that he set in motion. It was because of him that she faught all those days, freeing prisoners, creating chaos for Voldemort. Azadeh did it all in his name, for him, in Harry's memory...a memory she loved so much, and now, he was this THING.
Harry looked livid, "you've betrayed me!"
"HOW! It's you who have betrayed ME! YOU LET LUCIUS TAKE ME TO DRILL FOR QUESTIONS!"
"I DiDN'T KNOW THEY WERE GOING TO DO THAT!" but Azadeh wouldn't let Harry finish.
"ALL THIS TIME, BEFORE I WAS CAUGHT, I FAUGHT IN YOUR NAME, WE ALL DID...," she was breaking down now. "I faught in your loving memory...to free those that were oppressed, putting myself at death's door, each and EVERY TIME, so that someday, when I died, I could look at you on the otherside and tell you that we did it. I even cut my hair short after you died, that's what some tribal women do, did you know that!" Harry shook his head. "When they mourn the ones they love, they cut their hair...because their hair is important to them! ... And now look at you!"
"Look at WHAT, DON'T YOU LOVE ME!" Harry screamed, he couldn't take this. The woman he loved was telling him that she practically despised him, was ashamed of him...
Azadeh's tears flowed silently, "of course I love you! But it is because I love you so much, that I hate you too...I hate that you've become this killer. You think I don't know what you do, you think I don't see with my mind's eye the horrible things?" She couldn't take it, it hurt too much to talk about it...and it wouldn't do any good right now anyway. Azadeh walked away, but Harry was on top of her before she knew it.
"HORRIBLE THINGS? You have NO IDEA!" he hissed. "NO IDEA the things I've done!" Harry dragged her to the bed and threw her on it, pinning her. Azadeh tried to say something, but he placed his hand over her mouth, "DOES MY LITTLE ANGEL WANT TO SEE HER DEVIL!"
Azadeh shook her head, hot tears running down the sides of her temples, touching Harry's hand.
"NO?" Harry's temper was provoked, why did she have to do this? "ARE YOU SURE...?" He pushed open her legs, placing his thighs underneath hers and pressing his hard length against her. "...HE CAN BE FUN." Azadeh screamed in his hand...why was he doing this to her? She tried to pull his hand off, but she couldn't and it didn't suprise her at all.
Her eyes pleaded with him to stop, Azadeh had large and expressive eyes...Harry noticed this and started to calm down, though he was still turned on. The Death Eater in him wanted to continue, to dominate her and make her understand who she belonged to, that she was not to question him or talk in a disrespectful manner in him...even though it was a major turn on when she did.
Harry removed his hand finally, watching coldly as she gasped for air. Then, he started to feel remorse, guilt, and overall wretchedness for what he had just done as he watched Azadeh cover her face and sob. Harry sat up and pounded his fists into the bed, Azadeh's head turned, afraid he was going to hit her.
"WHY! Why do you this to me?" he hissed. "I KNEW WHO I WAS BEFORE I MET YOU! I WAS DISCAPLINED BEFORE I MET YOU! Now look at me..." She tried to reach up and touch his face, but he only grabbed her wrists, nearly crushing them as he pulled her up to face him. Harry then put his hand roughly through her hair, "YOU do things to ME...WHY!" Azadeh did not have an answer for him, her tears only continued.
Harry pulled her down back to the bed, she didn't fight as he laid on top of her. Azadeh held him tightly, loving him, and squealed in pain a little when he bit down on her neck again. Afterwards he whispered in her ear, "I'm really, really horny, Azadeh...PLEASE."
"Since when did you ever need permission?" she whispered back. He groaned and literally ripped off her clothing, especially her underwear. He nearly did the same to his and plunged into her unceremoniously, groaning loudly again as he did. Azadeh's body jerked every time he thrusted, she hung onto him, kissing him as he kissed her. "I love you so much," he said. Harry's heart felt like it would explode...he didn't mean to hurt her, he didn't want to hurt her. Azadeh's body writhed in pleasure until they finally climaxed.
Harry was hot and sweaty, but he held her to his body, wrapping himself around her, "please don't ever stop loving me."
Azadeh looked into his eyes, "I never have...and never will." She meant it, never being able to stay mad at him, even now over what he just did. Azadeh had to save him...some how.
"Did you mean it, you cut your hair?" Harry looked at her as though he didn't understand.
"Yes. The day I thought you died, when they brought out your wand, I ran home and was hysterical. I took our scissors, locked myself in the bathroom and just started cutting, and I cut until it was so short, I could honestly pass for a boy, not even having to wear a hat. When my grandmother came home and found me on the bathroom floor with all my hair around me, she said, 'my beautiful Azadeh, what have you done to yourself!'...but when she heard the news, she understood and trimmed my hair to where it was even and looked nice. Our hair is our pride, it is our mane, and when you lose someone you love...it's like losing your pride...but after it grows back to where it was before, you are done mourning."
"How long?" Harry was just curious.
"One year...it took a year to grow all my hair back. My father wouldn't let me mourn anymore than that, said it wasn't healthy and he was right. So, I would put myself in danger all the time.."
"What..why? Why would you do something like..," he stopped himself, realizing why, she wanted to die...wanting to be with him because she thought he was dead too.
"Figured it out? I told you, I felt like you took a piece with you and I meant it. I felt like the walking dead, even though I helped others, even when other boys paid attention to me...it wasn't the same as having you with me..."
"Azadeh," Harry whispered and held her. Here he had someone who was willing to die for him, put herself in danger for him...how selfish could he be?
She kissed him again, and again he wanted her and this time she was on top, letting her do things to him that he never felt before.
Afterwards Harry was grinning from ear to ear, Azadeh laughed at him. He then rolled on his side to face her and looked at her suspiciously, "WHERE did you learn to do those things, Lucius didn't teach you, did he?"
Azadeh had a disgusted look on her face, "ECK! AS IF he was that experimental...he'd never let me do..er, nevermind, you don't need to know that."
"Oh PLEASE, enlighten me," Harry was interested in anything that would give a blow to Lucius's ego.
"Let's just say he ALWAYS liked to dominate...and it could get a little boring," she smiled as Harry tried to supress a grin. "I mean, it was fascinating at first because, well, I didn't know any better...I was..well, you know..."
"Yes, I know," Harry said bitterly. HE had wanted to be her first...
"But, ANYWAY...You forget I work in a bookstore and certain books come in that look interesting," Azadeh leaned over and pulled out from a lower drawer a few books on sex. "Here."
Harry took them from her and looked through the pages, "AHA! So that's what you did?... But you didn't do that.."
She shook her head, "I can't do them ALL in one night, you know..."
"Why not?" he smiled and hugged her. 'This will be so much fun to torment Lucius with,' Harry thought. Then he turned serious for a moment, "I don't know what to do about...me, I guess. I don't know how to change all of the things that have happened."
Azadeh put her fingers to his lips, "I know...but we'll figure it out...we will"
Some of the Death Eater's sat together at lunch, Harry and Draco were laughing but Lucius sat off to the side with some others. The subject turned to sex for some reason, and of course lude comments were made, and then someone was brave enough to ask Harry how Azadeh was in bed. Lucius shot the man a look.
Draco narrowed his eyes, "awefully brave asking, aren't we?"
This was Harry's chance to really jab Lucius for all the thing he'd done to Azadeh, to humiliate him, "it's alright Draco." Draco raised his eyebrows, a little annoyed Harry would even say anything. "Actually, she's fantastic in bed." Some of them 'oohed' a bit and whistled.
Lucius shot his head up but then grinned, "I wonder where she got it from?" The rest of the Death Eaters suddenly got quiet, Draco put his hand over his eyes and shook his head...his father was too stubborn for his own good.
Harry leaned back chewing his food and then slowly swallowed, "Actually, she said you were rather BORING." Draco nearly spit out his soup and started to cough. "She even had to buy books to learn how to do things right and try something different." The other Death Eaters winced a little, some clearing their throat, trying to not laugh.
"You're LYING little boy!" Lucius narrowed his eyes.
"Really? I'll even let you ask her some time. There wewere, lying there afterwards and I was rather bitter over the fact that I wasn't her first... However, she comforted me by doing some techniques that YOU never taught her because according to her...you always dominated too much, wouldn't let her experiment and it got a little BORING."
Draco's eyes widened a bit, that was a little too detailed, but he finally got what Harry was doing... Humilating his father because of what he'd done.
It was working.
Lucius's temper was running through him, "HOW DARE YOU! You would let intimate details of your love life with your wife through JUST to get at ME! How tacky can you get!"
Harry stood up, "NOT AS TACKY AS YOU USING YOUR JEALOUSY TO NEARLY KILL MY WIFE!"
"Ah, I see then," Lucius smirked, then left the lunch room.
Draco was quiet when they were patrolling until Harry asked, "mad at me?"
"For what?" he snipped out that question.
"You know what."
Draco sighed, "I'll be honest, it was sort of...uncooth to bring up Azadeh in that way, and a little disrespectful and if she ever finds out, she won't be too happy with you. However, my father deserved that little jab...and it was rather funny."
Harry smirked.