All right, here's another stupid chappy in my stupid fic...Okay, I'm in a bad mood today, so what? Is that a problem?

Disclaimer Do you see Ed turning into Pride and making out with Envy in the anime or the manga? No? Then you definitely know that I do not own FMA.

"Okay, so my mother died when I was little and I tried to bring her back, but it failed, almost killing me and my brother. I joined the military to return my brother and me back to normal and that's when I met you guys. The military forced me to hunt you because they thought you were bad, but I found out you were good and tried to convince them of that and I was charged for treason. My younger brother testified against me only because the military promised him a bright future and I was shot to death only for my ex girlfriend to try and bring me back?" Pride said trying to see if he got everything that Envy told him. When the elder nodded, the boy continued. "So, knowing that I had no where else to go and that no one would accept me, you brought me here and cared for me until I got better. I've been living here for the past year, but my powers haven't surfaced yet. Is that right?"

"Yup, you got it all registered in that tiny head of yours, chibi!" Envy cooed poking the boy's head. Then Pride blushed as he remembered something else that Envy told him.

"And also…we're…"

"Lovers, chibi. Or do you feel embarrassed about that." Envy turned away and made sure his eyes showed a (false) trace of hurt. Okay, he may be taking this a little too far, but Dante did say Pride was his toy now and Envy did get –ahem- 'frustrated' often.

"No! Not at all. I'm not embarrassed! I'm sorry if I made you think that, I just don't remember anything and I know I'm going to have to get used to it and I don't know what to do or if anything I do would make you angry. I'm sorry, I'm being annoying, aren't I? Please, I…" Pride was cut off from his meaningless babbling by a pressure on his lips. If Envy was going to convince him that the lover part was true, he might as well start now. Besides, it's not like he'd regret it in the future. For homunculi, sex had absolutely no emotional or physical consequences, and Pride was willing to accept this false idea. So who was he to deny this chance of a cute little boy toy…okay, CUTE! Envy really needed to get a thesaurus one of these days…

Pride was startled by Envy's sudden move, but his eyes slowly closed and he submitted into the kiss. It felt very strange, but that didn't mean it was bad. If anything, it felt extremely good. He let his arms crawl around Envy's neck and deepened the kiss. The elder was the one who pulled away first and he looked into Pride's pleasure-filled eyes.

"Rule number one: Learn when to shut up unless you like this method of keeping you quiet." He smirked. Pride's eyes focused once more and he pulled back blushing.

"I'm-I'm sorry." He stuttered shyly. Envy grinned and lifted the other to his feet.

"Come on, we've got to get you out of here!" Pride let himself get taken out of the room and were met by three people waiting outside.

"Envy…" Lust trailed off looking between him and Pride.

"I trust all of you heard what I told little chibi here." Envy shot them a glare telling them they better always back up what he said.

"You're taking this too far." Lust whispered into Envy's ear. That just made Envy smirk.

"Dante did say he was my toy, she didn't specify what kind." Lust glared at him, then Pride spoke up.

"Envy…can I ask something else?" he said hesitantly. Envy turned to him before nodding. "We don't…kill do we?" That left Envy in a predicament. Luckily, Envy's experienced in being a quick thinker.

"Only when we have to. We do reek havoc to piss the military off, and we have to steal to survive because no one gives homunculi decent jobs." Pride pondered this lie for a moment, before nodding and accepting the answer. Envy actually didn't lie at all in his explanation. They didn't kill unless they had to, whenever they wanted to kill, they had to kill. They do reek havoc to piss off the military and they have to steal red stones to survive, plus everyone knows that no one would give a homunculus a job, let alone a decent one.

"Where are we going?" Pride asked as he and Envy left the manor and walked into the streets. They were attracting a little attention, mainly because of their clothes. Pride was wearing the exact same clothes as Envy, showing off his well toned body and the tattoo on his stomach.

"We're going to cause some mayhem. You see, one of our comrades was unfairly accused of murders and the police are planning on brining him to Central for execution. We've got to stop them before an innocent man is killed." Envy lied, but Pride believed him nonetheless.

"Why do they think he's guilty? It sounds a little unjust." he muttered confused.

"Because that's the way the military is! The first person they suspect is automatically guilty, they just have to pay a few people, plant a couple of evidence, and they save face! It's sad, really, but that's how they are." Envy told him. He noticed how the blond looked very angry now.

"That's cruel! How could they do that when their job is to protect the helpless! If they keep this up, there won't be anymore to protect!" he said with his fists clenched. Envy smirked at the boy's anger.

"Perfect, if he keeps this fury up, his power will surface soon enough. All we need is to get him angrier." He thought then peered into the large prison. This man was an alchemist, and an asset to the homunculi because he could use connections to the military to give information to them. Until now, however. Envy wouldn't mind letting him die, but Dante wanted the man alive. He just couldn't understand what went through that woman's head.

"Is that him?" Pride asked pointing to a greasy haired man who was being taken out of the prison by a couple of large guards.

"Yeah, okay, here's what we got to do." Envy started whispering the plan into Pride's ear. He tried to keep it for being too violent, otherwise Pride would figure that Envy wasn't as trustworthy as he tried to make himself out to be. Which he wasn't, but that was beside the point! When the armored truck pulled out of the prison, they waited until it was almost out to the main road before Pride ran out in front of the truck, causing it to brake and almost hit the blond homunculus.

"Stupid kid! Get out of the way!" one of the men inside snarled.

"Please, help me! Some man came out and stabbed my sister! He's right there! Please get him!" Pride shouted with a pleading voice and he pointed to a shadow that was flitting through the streets.

"We can't deal with that right now, we have our own murderer that needs to be taken to Central and executed!" This comment was actually a plus in Envy's plan, because that only further convinced his partner that the military really was just trying to save face.

"My sister's dying! And her murderer is right there! You have to help her!" Pride shouted.

"We're the military, not the boy scouts!" That comment just got Pride pissed. Fortunately for the drivers, he was distracted. Unfortunately for the guards in the back, it was them flying out of the truck that got Pride distracted.

"Come on, chibi! I got him, let's go!" Envy called. Pride nodded and ran after his elder and the man Envy had slung over his shoulder.

"Stop them!" someone shouted. Ed felt a bullet in his back and he gasped. Only a moment later did the pain disappear and he was able to run off once again.

"Damn it! The Furher is not going to like this."

Very...very...very short, I know, but I was desperate to update and that's what happens. I'll make sure the next chapter is much longer. Reviews, advice, and constructive critisim are welcome. Flames are welcome too! I need fire to roast marshmellows!