Disclaimer: Don't Own Star Wars but happily own a hairbrush!

Chapter 3- Grapes and Open Window Torture

"Guess What Sarah!" Nicole shouted.

"What!" Sarah said as she was flipping through a magazine that had Draco Malfoy on the cover.

"We finally can get rid some of those fruit baskets you have all over your living room!"

"YAY! Now I can finally have some room to do yoga!"

"okay…"

"A Fruit Basket Will be given to Dunno, Mysticofthepen, Little Author, and sarah+nicolecan'tguesswhoiam Thank You For Reviewing!" an announcer dude had said, which totally came out of nowhere. And this announcer dude was no where to be seen.

"What the heck was that?" Sarah asked.

"How am I supposed to know? I mean it's not like I know everything!"

"Well you're the one that can speak elephant and steal an Oscar Meyer Weiner van!"

"Hmmm I guess you do have a point!"

"You got that right!"

"I still don't know where that voice came from so you can so not blame me!"

"Fine! But Who can I blame then?"

"I say you blame that toaster oven over there. He is looking very suspicious."

"Yeah… a toaster oven." Sarah replied as she rolled her eyes.

Sarah continued to flip through her magazine while sitting on a big comfy red couch. At one point she stopped at a page that showed a picture of Draco Malfoy and she began to drool. Nicole sat in her bright purple chair that would rock back and forth. She was reading a book titled "Making friends with Socks and Sea Monkeys". Every time Sarah would look up she would just shake her head.

Soon there was a sudden noise. It sounded as if a glass cup had shattered. Nicole immediately looked up and saw something. "Hey Sarah! It's Draco Malfoy!"

"WHERE?" Sarah demanded to know.

"Outside! Riding the pinky pink rocking horse!"

Sarah rushed out the back door into the backyard towards the pinky pink rocking horse. Nicole followed.

"This is not Draco you idiot!" Sarah yelled at Nicole.

"It isn't?"

"Of course not! This is JarJar Binks!"

"It is?"

"HOW COULD YOU MIX UP DRACO AND JARJAR BINKS?"

"Well….ummmmmmmm…"

"Ok you know what let's just get on with our story"

"Okie dokie artichokie!" Nicole said to Sarah as if she was a cute little five year old.

"Don't you call me artichokie or I'll tell Yoda where you are!"

"OK! OK! SORRY!"

Ok everyone here is Chapter 3!

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Obi-Wan wandered around the ship. He was still looking for his giraffe socks. While looking under everything in sight, somehow he bumped into Luke.

"What the foshizzle did youizzle do thatizzle for?" Luke questioned full of anger.

"YES HE IS FINALLY BEGINNING HIS TRANSFORMATION TO THE DARK SIDE." Vader said. He actually came out of no where.

"OOO! The darkizzle sideizzle sounds so coolizzle!" Luke said.

"Umm Anakin…I MEAN YOUNG SKYWALKER! NO WAIT! Vader!"

"Darth Vader would be fine, though I prefer 'hippest singing sensation'"

Obi-Wan just shrugged it off. "Anyway, can I talk to you in private for just a miniscule amount of time?"

"Ummm…okay!" Vader and Obi-Wan went into a corner away from Luke.

"WHY THE HECK WOULD YOU WANT LUKE ON THE DARK SIDE? I MEAN HE THINKS HE'S A GANGSTER OR SNOOP DOG OR SOMETHING! HE SURE IS NOT SMART ENOUGH TO BE ON THE DARK SIDE!" Obi-Wan yelled at Darth.

"And you care why?"

"Well…because I have feelings for you!"

Vader made a quizzical expression under his mask. "You have….feelings for me?" Vader asked while nervous about what his answer would be.

"WHAT! OH MY GOD! I SO DID NOT MEAN IT IN THAT WAY!"

"Oh Thank God! You really had me nervous there for a second!"

"Well Jedi cannot love except you did you idiot! You fell in love and had a child that turned out to think he's a gangster! At least Leia is smart except for the fact she has an odd love for refrigerators! SEE HOW WACKO YOU CAN MAKE PEOPLE WHEN YOU LOVE!"

"We have totally gone off subject!" A random storm trooper named Bob had said. Somehow he just appeared standing next to Obi-Wan and Vader.

"WHAT THE HECK IS HE DOING ON THE SET? BOB GET OFF THE SET!" Sarah screamed as she chased him off.

"You know what! I have to go to the bathroom. Excuse me." Obi-Wan said and walked down the hallway to the bathroom.

"Ummmm…okay." Vader just said. He walked up behind Luke.

"I justizzle can'tizzle waitizzle for a new light saber yo!" Luke said oddly and giddily and it looked like he was talking to the wall.

"Luke, why are you talking to the wall?"

"I am notizzle talking toizzle the wallizzle yo! I am talking to my best friend!"

"Your best friend is a wall?" 'Okay Luke definitely can not turn to the dark side if he thinks the wall is his best friend' Vader thought to himself.

"NOIZZLE! Can't youizzle seeizzle my bestestest friendizzle?"

"UMMMM…"

"His nameizzle is Luke the II yo!" Luke told his father.

"Okay then… I think I'm going to go now. Just continue your conversation Luke with…Luke." Vader said and turned around walking down the hallway, his cape blowing in the wind. Apparently a window was open.

"OH MY GOD! OPEN WINDOW!" Han shouted waving his hands around in the air, rushing over to the window to close it. And in the process he accidentally sort of bumped into Vader. Vader got angry.

Han was just walking away from the now closed window when Vader raised his hand and used the force to…open the window!

"AHHHHH! OPEN WINDOW! AHHHHH!" Han went and closed it but Vader opened it again, Han closed it, Vader opened it, Han Closed it, Vader opened it, Han closed it, Vader opened it, Han closed it. This went on for about 45 minutes.

"DAD! STOP OPENING THE DARN WINDOW!" Leia soon joined the two and tried to stop the whole Vader torturing Han situation.

"BUT HE BUMPED INTO ME! WHAT HE DID COULD RUIN MY STARDOM!" Vader told Leia, thinking about how this could totally crush him as a celebrity. Now remember this is Vader thinking that he is a star…

"CALM DOWN!" Leia shouted at him. "NOW I DON'T WANT ANYORE OF THIS! IS THAT CLEAR?"

"Crystal." Han said.

"Yes Mother…I MEAN DAUGHTER!" Vader said.

A few hours later…

Everyone gathered into the entertainment room on the ship. This was a deluxe ship so of course there was an entertainment room in it. There was even a stage in it for people or droids or other weird creatures to perform on it. Tonight, performing, was none other than….DUH! DUH! DUH! DUH! Darth Vader.

Okay well not everyone was in the entertainment room. Just Obi-Wan wasn't there. Don't know why but we believe he was still in the bathroom… And we don't know who was driving the ship either. Maybe they put it in autopilot or something! Who knows!

Everyone was seated in there seats when Vader came onto the stage. "Hello fellow uhhhhhh THINGS! I have decided to give you a show because I have such a wonderful voice and I thought that MOST of you deserved to hear my soothing voice so-"

"BEEP! DING! BEEP! THE GRAPES NEED TO BE COOKED LONGER! DING!" C-3PO said, acting like a microwave as always.

"Why would you cook grapes in a microwave?" Leia asked
"HEY! I WANTEDIZZLE TO MAKEIZZLE GRAPE JUICE!" Luke simply stated. "AND LUKE II WANTED SOME TOO!"

"WHO'S LUKE II?" Han asked.

"LONG EXPLANATION!" Vader told him. "LOOK CAN WE GET BACK TO MY ACT?"

"We must" Yoda said.

"Good. I will now start off my singing an original song of mine."
(Please sing to the tune of Yankee Doodle)

Vader began to sing.

"Luke Skywalker went to town riding on a chicken,

Leia kissed a pic of a fridge,

And Han grew an afro!"

Everyone looked at him oddly.

"WE ARE GOINNGG GOOINNNG TOO SPACEE! WEE ARE GOINNG TOO SPACEEE AND MAY ALL THE CREW BE FANDY!"

"Is that even a word-"

-ANNOUNCEMENT!-

"Me, Sarah, has stopped this story momentarily to tell you good news." Sarah said looking up from the desk. "Nicole got a cookie."

Nicole waved a big cookie. "I named him Nicole II."

"That is all. Thank you and GOOD NIGHT NEW YORK!"

-End of Announcement!-

'Okay…' everyone thought.

"Back to the song!" Vader said.

"CHEWBACCA FOUND A BIG HAT THAT'S CALLED A SOMMBRARRROOOO, LEIA PLACED ON HER HEAD AND NOW WERE ALL WILL FERREL! WE ARE GOING TO SPACEEEE! WE ARE GOOINNG! WEE ARE GOINGG TOOO SPACCEEE! AND MAY THE CREW BE FANDY!"

As soon as Vader finished the song, Obi-Wan Kenobi came rushing in holding a piece of toilet paper, and a piece of toilet paper was stuck to his shoe but I don't believe he realized it.

"Vader you must see what I have found." Obi-Wan came up on the stage. "Here, look, there's a note on the toilet paper." He handed him the piece of toilet paper. It said:

Help! I'm trapped in a toilet roll paper company. Jock McNoodle, South Uist, Outer Wisconsin.

"LOOK ITS CRIMINAL THIS TOILET ROLL ROLL!" Luke shouted

"Toilet roll roll?" Vader asked.

"Yes yesizzle."

"Wait, wait!"

"Quite rightizzle."
"Look look!"

"Where whereizzle?"
"Here here."
"There thereizzle!"

''He he!"

"Ha haizzle!"

"STOP THAT!"

"Yes yesizzle."
"Concentrate, you're like a parrot Luke."
"Sorry sorryizzle."

"DING DING TURBULANCE!" C-3PO said.

"That's an interesting sounding food…" Darth Vader commented.

"Now I think we are landing-AHHHHH!" Leia said before being shaken.

"Oops!" Obi-Wan said.

"OBI WAN!" Leia exclaimed.

"I forgot to take the landing off auto pilot…." Obi commented laughing.

"We are on a strange planet.!" Han said.

"EARTH!... And Obi-Wan-toilet paper on your shoe there is."

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"THANK YOU AND NOW WE WILL CONTINUE TO OUR COMMERCIAL BREAK!"

"What commercial break?" Draco asks Sarah. We eventually found the real Draco.
"Oh you know the regular ones……wait a second aren't you in the wrong story? This isn't Matchmaker, Matchmaker!" Sarah screamed waving her arms, "Anyway on with the commercials."

Nicole comes out dancing wearing a popcorn suit.

"MMMM POPCORN IT'S BUTTERY AND SALTY TOO!"
"This is weird and awkward…" Draco comments.

"It's a commercial…SHUT UP!" Sarah says while dumping popcorn on Draco's head.
"Its dark all of a sudden……."