Title: Ma and Pa Cobb
Series: Heart of Gold: Rayne style
Author: Sevangel
Disclaimer: Not mine
Rating: R
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"Ma?" Jayne gasps.
"I asked ya a question, boy." Rita Cobb growls.
Jayne puts his hand over the screen and turns to look at the crew. "Preacher, did ya send my parents that copy?"
"No." Book replies. "Captain did."
"Mal." Jayne growls. "I'm gonna hurt ya."
"Robert Jayne Cobb, I'm talkin to ya." Rita yells. "Take your gorram hand off that screen and explain this."
"Robert?" Wash gasps.
Jayne removes his hand and turns back to his mother. "Ma, there ain't no call to be yellin." Jayne calmly says.
"No reason?" Rita repeats loudly. "I open a package from your captain, thinking it's gonna be bout ya gettin yourself dead, only to find out ya got hitched."
"At least I ain't dead." Jayne mutters.
"Don't try sweet talkin your way out of this." Rita sneers. "Ya wanna explain how ya got married when I didn't even know ya had a girl? Is she that mechanic ya wrote bout?"
"Kaylee?" Jayne gasps. "Hell, no. She's like my little sister."
"I am?" Kaylee questions.
"Well, who is she?" Rita questions.
"Woman, what the gorram hell are ya doin?" A male voice comes over the wave. "Ya're gonna get yourself arrested."
"I'm talkin to our boy." Rita replies.
"Ya can't go breakin into some poor bastard's ship." Robert Cobb replies. He moves next to his wife before addressing his son. "Boy, ya sure got your mama in a tiff."
"I know." Jayne replies. "Ya guys gonna get caught?"
"No, your mama is smarter than that." Robert answers. "She got your brothers to start a bar fight with the people who own this boat. They're distracted."
"That's good." Jayne replies.
"Now, we wanna met this bride of yours." Robert says. "Your mama ain't gonna let ya go till we do."
Jayne nods and spins the chair around. "C'mere, baby." Jayne says. River moves around Mal and walks over to sit on Jayne's lap.
"Ma, pa, this is River." Jayne says.
"She's pretty." Robert comments after a few moments. "And young. Respectable lookin too."
"Yeah." Jayne agrees.
"Why she with ya?" Robert asks with a grin.
"Bi zui." Jayne growls, ignoring the crew laughing behind him. "Baby, these are my folks, Rita and Robert."
"Hi." River says shyly, her face tucked against Jayne's neck.
"Sweetheart, let us see ya." Rita says quietly.
River moves her face out of Jayne's neck to look at them.
"Ya really are beautiful." Rita comments. "My boy treatin ya good?"
"Yes." River answers. "Jayne loves me. And I love him."
"That's good." Robert replies, pulling his crying wife against his side.
"Ma?" Jayne questions worriedly.
"I never thought ya'd get married." Rita says, wiping away a few tears. "I'm just so happy ya did."
"Yeah." Jayne mutters.
"Now, I want ya to bring your new bride out to see us." Rita orders.
"Ma." Jayne protests. "Ya know our work…."
"Boy, I brought ya into this verse." Rita growls. "I can take ya out of it just as easy."
"Baby, there ain't no need to threaten the boy." Robert says, trying to calm his irate wife. "Son, I think it would be best if did what your mama says."
"This ain't my boat, pa." Jayne replies. "I don't decide where we fly."
"Where's that captain of yours?" Rita asks. "He sent the certificate so he musta known we'd wanna meet River."
"Mal." Jayne growls. "My ma wants to talk to ya."
Mal moves over to stand beside Jayne. "Yeah?" Mal questions.
"I want ya to bring my new daughter out to meet me." Rita orders. "Now, I know ya guys got your crime to do but that don't mean ya can't stop by here for a few days. Where ya goin next?"
"Boros." Mal answers.
"That's bout a days ride from us." Rita says. "Ya can stop by then, dong ma?"
"Yes'um." Mal replies.
"Let me talk to that pilot of yours." Rita orders. "We gotta go and I wanna give him our coordinates since I know my boy's forgotten. River, darling, I'm lookin forward to meetin ya."
"Me too." River smiles.
"Son, ya keep your wife safe." Robert orders.
"I will." Jayne replies. "Wash, she's all yours."
"Howdy Jayne's mom." Wash says.
"Hello." Rita replies. She then gives Wash the coordinates of the moon Jayne was born and raised on. "We'll see ya in a bit."
"You too." Wash replies.
"And Wash, don't slouch." Rita orders. "It's not good for your back."
Wash sits up straight and ends the transmission. Once it's off, he spins around to look at Jayne. "Your mom is scary."
"I know." Jayne agrees. "Just wait till we get there and she gets mad."
"That wasn't her mad?" Mal questions.
"Not really." Jayne replies. "She was just a bit upset, not mad."
"And what's with Robert?" Wash questions with a grin.
"It's my first name." Jayne answers. "Don't like it though. Jayne's more intimidatin."
"How?" Simon questions.
"Just is." Jayne replies. "Mal, I was gonna hurt ya but I'm just gonna let my ma deal with ya. She's always gettin upset when I tell we ain't gonna be close enough to stop by. Ya can explain why we don't."
"Can't ya just hit me?" Mal asks. "That seems like it'll be less painful."
"Nope." Jayne smirks.
"Captain, what are we going to do about Early's boat?" Wash questions. "It's tagged on to us."
Mal starts to reply when River jumps up with a squeal.
"Baby?" Jayne questions
"I got a plan." River says. "Kaylee, need you to help me build a bomb. Jayne, you and the captain need to put on some suits. And bring Early's body down to the bay."
"Why?" Mal questions.
"Wash, stop the boat, just let us idle." River orders as she pulls Kaylee out of the bridge.
"Do it, Wash." Mal orders a few moments after the girls are gone. "Jayne, let's go suit up. Gotta say, I'm curious bout what your wife's plannin."
"Me too." Jayne replies.
"Ya don't think she's planning on blowin us up?" Mal questions.
"Not me." Jayne replies. "Don't know bout ya but I know she wouldn't blow me up."
"Not going to blow either one of you up." River replies, rolling her eyes. She walks over to where they are currently prepping some suits and grabs the smallest one.
"Little witch, whadda doin?" Mal questions.
"Getting a suit ready." River answers.
"Ya ain't goin out there baby." Jayne growls.
"Have to." River answers. "You two won't know what to do."
"Gimme the suit." Jayne growls. River hands it to him and he checks to make sure it's prepped correctly. "I'm tyin ya to me."
They finish getting their suits on and then wait for Kaylee. She comes running into the bay about ten minutes later, a large box in her hand.
"I got it, River." Kaylee says. "Ain't never built a bomb before. Was kinda fun."
"Just don't do it without me explaining first." River warns. "Captain would be mad if you accidentally blew up Serenity."
"Yes, he would." Mal agrees. "Ya wanna explain this plan?"
"You'll see." River replies. "I'll carry the bomb; you two carry Early."
They both glare at her as they pick up Early's body and follow her out of Serenity.
-
River finishes typing a message and then sends the wave to the Alliance notifying them that the fugitives Simon and River Tam were in custody and would be returned to the nearest Alliance headquarters. She then attaches the bomb under the console; setting it to go off once the ship was 50,000 miles away from Serenity, a few hours away from Ariel. She buckles Early in and then follows the two men out of Early's boat and back onto Serenity, Early's ship releasing and flying away.
"I gotta say ya really are a genius." Mal comments once they're back on Serenity.
"Simon will have to take somebody else's last name." River replies.
"What?" Simon questions, Kaylee helping him limp into the bay.
"Simon and River Tam are dead." River says.
"What?" Kaylee gasps.
"Not really, little Kaylee." Mal says with a smile. "But they government will think they are in a couple hours."
"Sir, you wanna explain?" Zoe questions.
"Basically, Early's boat told the Alliance that he was bringing in River and Simon." Mal explains. "He's going to blow up a before he reaches Ariel. They'll think River and Simon were with him."
"So they won't be looking for them no more?" Kaylee asks.
"I'm not positive." River replies. "The government will no longer look for us but the blue hands might not give up."
"And Simon needs a new last name because?" Inara asks.
"We can get him a fake ID." River replies. "He can't go by Simon Tam anymore, he's dead."
"Hell, ma's always wanted somebody with a respectable job in the family." Jayne drawls. "And it'll help keep her off my back."
"What are you saying?" Simon questions.
"If they're gonna make ya a fake ID, ya can use Cobb." Jayne answers. "Your sister's already one so ya might as well be too."
"That's so sweet." Kaylee gushes.
"Little Kaylee, I ain't sweet." Jayne replies.
"Yes, ya are." Kaylee says. "Ya ain't as mean as ya try to be. Look how ya treat River and ya called me your little sister and ya were just nice to Simon."
Jayne frowns at her, insulted by what she's saying.
"Come on, Jayne." River replies. "Let's go to bed."
Jayne follows her, his arm over her shoulder. "Baby, I ain't sweet, right?"
"No, Jayne." River replies, cuddling against his side. "You're a mean, dangerous merc."
"Damn straight." Jayne agrees, kissing her forehead.
-
"No, Jayne." River moans.
"Why not?" Jayne growls, his mouth sucking at River's throat.
"I am going to be meeting your parents in less than hour." River moans. "I will not meet them with a hickey on my neck. Find somewhere else."
"Now that sounds like a plan." Jayne drawls. He moves down her neck to suck at skin between her breasts. River moans and slides her hands through his hair.
"We have to hurry." River moans. "I have to get dressed soon."
Jayne nips at her breasts and then moves down her body to suck at her stomach, leaving marks. He slips two fingers into her open core, pumping them slowly. She moans and spreads her legs further, giving him complete access to her body.
"Faster." River moans, bucking into his hand.
Jayne pumps his hand faster and uses his thumb to rub at her clit. The small room is filled with River's moans and the sound Jayne's fingers make thrusting in and out of her wet core. He slips another finger inside of her and presses down hard with his thumb, pushing River over the edge.
"Jayne." River moans loudly, her walls squeezing around his fingers.
Jayne rides out her orgasm and pulls his fingers out once her body stops shaking with aftershocks. Sticking his fingers into his mouth, he licks her juices off and moves up her body to thrust deeply into her.
"Ohhh….more…." River moans, wrapping her legs around Jayne's back.
Jayne finds her mouth and starts thrusting into her receptive body faster and harder, his tongue mimicking the actions his cock is making.
River digs her nails into Jayne's back, her body on fire. When Jayne is inside her, she feels safer and more complete than she ever has in her entire life. She goes with his movements; basking in the sensations he makes her feel.
Jayne closes his eyes, pounding into the woman beneath him. 6 months ago, he would've never thought he'd be married much less completely in love with the crazy girl, but here he is. He slides one arm under her hips, tilting them so he can get deeper.
"Oh..Jaaayne…." River groans, her hips bucking under his.
Jayne moves his free hand between their bodies to find and twist her clit. She screams his name, her legs tightening around his body as she cums. Jayne pumps erratically into her, cumming after a few thrusts. He flips onto his back, pulling River on top of his chest.
"Jayne, don't go to sleep." River orders a few minutes later, looking up at him. "Jayne, wake up."
"I'm 'wake." Jayne mutters sleepily.
"Jayne." River growls. He doesn't respond. River bends down and bites his nipple.
"Gorramit." Jayne growls, sitting up. "What was that for?"
"You have to get up." River says. "I want you to braid my hair, please?"
"Alright, baby." Jayne agrees with a yawn. "Gimme the brush."
River jumps off the bed and grabs her brush. She hands it to him before plopping down onto the ground in front of the bed.
Jayne gathers sections of her hair and starts to brush it out, removing all the tangles. She closes her eyes, moaning lightly at the sensations.
"Baby, this turnin ya on?" Jayne smirks.
"Yes." River moans, shifting her naked ass on the ground. Jayne stops brushing her hair and reaches under the bed to grab her little wedding present.
"Here ya go, baby." Jayne drawls, handing her the vibrator.
River takes the vibrator out of his hand and turns it on. Bending her knees and spreading her legs, she places the vibrator between her folds, her body bucking.
"Gotta stay still." Jayne orders, his cock hardening instantly.
She continues to caress herself with the vibrator, her hand getting wet from her secretions.
Jayne braids her hair, his mind not focused on the task. Instead, he's staring down at his wife while she pleasures herself. She moves the vibrator slowly and he knows she's drawling it out. He finishes her hair and drops the brush to the ground. He slides her hands down her front, his hands pinching both nipples. She arches into him and moans heavily. Dropping a hand from her breast, he moves it between her legs to grab the vibrator.
"Jaaayne." River moans, her body on the edge.
"I wanna do it." Jayne growls.
"Yes." River moans. "Want you to, please."
Jayne stands up and moves her on the bed. Dropping to his knees, he moves the vibrator to it's highest setting and then places it back between her folds. Her body starts shaking and her hips are writhing so much that he has to use his free hand to hold her hips down. He places the tip of the vibrator against her clit and watches as she unfolds. She screams his name as her body arches off the bed, her legs tensing, and he can see her walls clenching.
Jayne pulls her down onto his lap, thrusting up into her. River arches against the bed before falling forward onto his chest, her mouth biting at his throat. He continues to pump into her, his body close to the edge. He grabs the hand she used to play with herself to his mouth and licks it clean, an action that she moans loudly at. He brings his other hand down to find her clit and throws her into another orgasm. She bites down onto his neck to smother her screams. Jayne thrusts into her once more before groaning her name as he cums.
"We weren't supposed to do that." River pants a few moments later. "We're supposed to be getting ready. You didn't mess up my hair, did you?"
"No, baby." Jayne chuckles, kissing her forehead. "Looks fine."
River moves off his lap and walks over to the trunk her clothes are stored in. She pulls out a few things and sets them on the bed before grabbing a towel yo clean herself off with. She then grabs her new panties and slips them on.
"Ya're wearin them?" Jayne questions.
"Yes." River replies, adjusting the back of her thong. "Why?"
"And I'm supposed to keep my hands off ya knowin those are under your clothes?" Jayne growls as she fastens a white-lace bra behind her back before slipping her arms through the straps. "Baby, what's the point of that? I can see right through it."
"Yes, you can." River replies, glancing down at her lace-clad breasts. She sits down on the bed to slip on some socks before putting her boots on. Grabbing the pretty, red dress she picked out earlier, she slips it on over her head before moving to stand in front of Jayne. "Close me, please."
Jayne moves the zipper up her back, dropping a kiss on her shoulder before it's covered. He spins her around and rakes his eyes up and down her body.
"Do I look okay?" River asks nervously.
"Beautiful." Jayne whispers. "And too gorram innocent to be with an old hundan like me."
"You're being silly." River replies, dropping a kiss on his nose. "You're perfect for me. I'm going to the bay."
"I'll be up in a second." Jayne says. She smiles back at him before climbing up the ladder and out of their bunk. Jayne grabs his pants and pulls them on, mentally preparing himself for the ass rippin his ma is gonna give him.
-
"Jayne, ya gonna open the door?" Mal asks. "We've been parked in your folk's back yard for 10 minutes; think it's time to go out."
"Just need a moment to get prepared." Jayne replies. "Alright, baby ya can hit the button."
River presses the button and the loading door slowly lowers. She moves back to Jayne and he wraps his arms around her, holding her against his chest.
Looking out, he's surprised to see only his parents and his little brother Roy standing there. His ma runs up the ramp and into Serenity. She stops in front of Jayne and reaches out to pull River into her arms.
"Aren't ya just the cutest little thing?" Rita gushes, hugging River tightly.
River hugs Jayne's mother back and for the first time in her life understands what 'a mother's embrace' means. Jayne's mother is so different from her own.
"Hello, son." Robert says, hugging his oldest child.
"Hey, pa." Jayne says. "How're things? And where's Matty? Thought she'd be the first one out here."
"She ain't feelin well." Rita replies, moving over to her son. She hugs him tightly, kisses his cheek, and then smacks him on the back of the head.
"Hey." Jayne growls.
"Don't take that tone with me." Rita growls back. "Ya deserved that and ya know it. Now, let's take this into the house. There's some rooms set aside for everybody, if they want em."
The crew follows the Cobbs into the house, Simon with his arm thrown over Kaylee's shoulder to help him limp.
"Doc, ya wanna explain why I'm carryin your medical bag?" Mal asks.
"Ask River." Simon replies. "She's the one who made me bring it."
"Is one of us gonna get shot?" Mal questions River.
"Not today." River replies.
"Good." Mal says.
Jayne's parents led them into the dining room and everyone takes a seat around the large, beat up table.
"Ma, what's wrong with Matty?" Jayne asks.
"Don't right know but I'm guessin it's still the damp lung." Rita replies. "She was doin a lot better for a while but this morning she said her stomach hurt and she's got a fever."
"Have you taken her to a doctor?" Simon questions.
"Doc round here ain't that trustworthy." Robert replies. "Ends up hurtin more than helpin. She's always been a sickly child; she's had the damp lung more times than the rest of us combined."
"Mal, hand me my bag." Simon orders as he stands up. "Where is she?"
"Why?" Robert growls, standing up to face Simon.
"Pa, he's a doctor." Jayne says. "Let'm check her out."
"She's down that hall, first door on the right." Rita replies. "Should I come with ya?"
"You don't have to." Simon replies. "Kaylee, do you want to help me down there?"
"Sure." Kaylee replies. She takes the bag out of his hand and helps support him as they walk down the hall.
"That's Kaylee?" Rita asks. "She looks a bit young to be a mechanic."
"Yeah." Mal agrees. "But she's the best one I've ever met."
"JAYNE!" Kaylee yells, cutting off Jayne's comment.
Jayne jumps up and runs towards Kaylee's voice, his parents right behind him.
"What's wrong?" Jayne questions.
"I need to get her to the infirmary." Simon says as he puts his stuff back in his bag. "Now."
Jayne doesn't question him; he just picks up Matty and runs out of the room with her.
"I need help getting there." Simon says as he limps slowly towards the door.
"Mr. Cobb, wanna grab a leg?" Mal questions as he moves over to Simon. Jayne's dad moves on the other side of the doctor and the two men carry him out of the house and into infirmary where Jayne is waiting.
"What's goin on, doc?" Jayne questions.
"I'm not completely sure." Simon replies. "But I know it's not the damp lung."
"Organ that serves no purpose." River whispers.
"Are you sure?" Simon questions. River nods.
Simon pushes a cart next to the sickbed Matty is lying on and starts to examine her. After a few minutes, he puts everything down and limps towards the door, indicating that everyone should follow.
"What's wrong with my baby?" Rita asks tearfully.
"Her appendix ruptured." Simon answers.
"What's that mean?" Robert questions.
Simon starts to explain, not noticing the confused glares he's getting.
"Simon." River says, cutting her brother off. "They don't need to know the medical terminology. The appendix is an organ that serves no purpose but if it ruptures, the toxins released are like poison."
"What's that mean?" Robert growls.
"It needs to be removed, now." Simon replies. "Normally I would wait until her fever went down, but there isn't time. But I need your permission before doing the surgery."
"And if ya don't do the surgery?" Robert questions.
Simon doesn't answer.
"She'll die." River whispers.
"That true?" Rita asks.
"Yes." Simon replies.
"Do it." Robert orders. Simon nods before limping back into the infirmary. River follows her brother, pulling on a pair of gloves as soon as she's in the room.
"Doc, whadda doin?" Jayne questions when he sees Simon bent over with a needle in his leg.
"Numbing my leg." Simon replies. "So that I can stand up long enough to perform the surgery." He disposes of the needle and walks over to the sickbed, gasping when he sees River putting an IV in Matty's arm. "Mei-mei, what are you doing?"
"Putting in an IV with a sedative in it." River answers. "She'll be asleep in a few moments. I'm going to assist."
"Fine." Simon agrees. He cuts open Matty's shirt and gets ready to open her stomach when he hears Jayne's parents gasp.
"Mal, I need them out of here." Simon orders. "I can't be distracted."
Mal and Jayne usher everyone out of the infirmary, closing the door firmly on their way out.
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