Why? Because Yuki is mean…
WARNINGS: Angst. Unbetaed. Done at 1am. Sort of dark, and mentions of blood. AU
Disclaimer: If i owned Gravitation, it'd definitely not be Gravitation anymore.
/"Ne, Yuki… I love you, you know. Do you love me too?"/
/"Tch. Why in the world would I love an annoying idiot?"/
/Shuichi laughed, and stuck his tongue out./
Don't you know, Yuki? Every time you say that, my heart breaks. Because I know it's true. No one loves me. Because I am a lie.
/ "It hurts, Otou-sama. Please… let go"/
My carefully constructed self crumbles daily, and I can't do anything about it. I can't leave you, even if it means that all of these years of suppressed memory will be wasted. Because I love you… and perhaps, deep inside… I'm tired of lying. To myself. To everyone. To you.
/ "I can't… breathe… Otou… otou-sama…"/
I can't really say that you love 'me', and I both hope and dread that you do. If you say, Yuki, that you love 'me'… then I will continue lying tirelessly for you. But if not, then… there really is no point in keeping up with facades any longer, and perhaps… perhaps you can love the real me.
/ "Please…" A pained gasp./
Hiro says you love me. But he never really tells me which one.
/ 'Please.' Tears sprang from squinted eyes/
Nothing is as it seems.
/Suddenly, there was blood everywhere./
Did you know, Yuki, that you used to keep the dreams away? I hated sleeping. I hated dreaming. But after I met you… I dreamt only of you.
/The bloody weight of his father fell on the little boy, and he felt the breath and warmth leave the man who was both his chief tormentor and most respected./
Dreams were where reality hounded me, and now that is where truth returns with vengeance. I still dream of you, but the fantasies have given way to truth. Memories are no longer shadowed by my vision of your love.
/And, wide-eyed, he watched helplessly as the blood of his beautiful, quiet mother bathed his face in an infinite red./
I can't hide anymore, Yuki. And I don't know what to do anymore.
/ "O…kaa… okaasan…" A raspy voice called out, and tainted lips brought the metallic taste of life./
I am hateful. Otou-sama always said so. And Okaa-san barely spoke to me. Father was always angry, and mother was always crying. I hold their blood in my hands. My hair is a constant reminder of my sins and cowardice. Pink, because I can't bear to see the deep red that once bathed me. Pink, because it's what colour my skin, my hair, everything was, even after I scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed.
/ "Why?"/
Father wanted to kill me. Mother killed father and herself. Father wanted me to leave, and mother wanted to leave me behind. I am an abomination. A curse.
/ "Why don't you want me?"/
Nothing but a bane.
/ "Don't you love me, Otou-sama? Okaa-san?"/
A demon that not even his mother could ever love. A beast that hides behind a mask that gives smiles.
/A quiet sob./
/ 'Don't you love me?'/
Sorry. Was craving angst. :P I still say it's impossible to turn out as psycho as Shuichi without something traumatizing happening. So… there. . Sorry if it's a bit OOC.
BRIEF SUMMARY OF FLASHBACKS: Shuichi's dad is a drunk who hates himself for letting his life crash. So, he diverts that hatred to Shuichi. Shuichi thinks his father hates him because dad thinks it's Shu's fault… basically, Shu grew up thinking he was bad luck and all (pun semi-intended). Shu's mom loves Shu, but is afraid of dad. So… she never really protects Shu. She just hugs and cries after. But this time, when it looked like dad would really kill Shu, she couldn't take it and so stabbed dad with a kitchen knife. The guilt of killing dad piled on top of all the compiled guilt of just standing aside whenever dad hurt Shu; so she killed herself.
Please review:)