Title: Weapon
Series: Heart of Gold
Author: Sevangel
Disclaimer: Not mine
Rating: PG-13
FYI: Some of the info was taken out of the 'Serenity: the official visual companion' but I have no plans to include the movie in the story.
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The Cobb family and Serenity family surround the large dining table, the younger kids sitting at a smaller table a few feet away. Rita had prepared a very large platter of chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and gravy. Julie had made a few pans of biscuits and Andrea had brought over a couple dozen ears of corn. For dessert, there are a couple apple pies and a chocolate cake sitting on the counter. There's light conversation occurring amongst the Cobb family, most of the Serenity crew too distracted by the 'real' food, except for River, who is eating very slowly.
"River, honey, do ya not like it?" Rita questions, watching as her daughter-in-law takes very small bites with pauses between them.
"I'm comparing the difference in the molecular structure compared to the protein usually ingested by letting it absorb on my pallet." River answers, staring down at her food. She looks up to see everyone staring at her. "I'm enjoying the real food."
"Oh." Rita replies.
"What's wrong, baby?" Jayne questions, noticing how she's glancing around the table nervously.
"She's nervous." Simon answers. "When she gets nervous she talks in large sentences. It's something she's done since she was 3."
"Darlin' why ya nervous for?" Robert questions. "Ain't no one here to be nervous of."
"So many feelings." River answers. "So many people. She's..I'm scared you won't like her."
Jayne pushes his chair back a bit and pulls her onto his lap. "Ain't nobody not gonna like ya, baby." Jayne assures her.
"You didn't like her at first." River whispers.
"Yeah, well, I'm a dumbass." Jayne grunts.
"Sure are." Mal agrees.
Jayne glares at him.
"Sweetie, course we like ya." Rita says. "Look what ya done to our baby boy. Made him all domestic-like."
"Ain't domesticated, ma." Jayne mutters. "Right, baby?"
"Like a wild animal." River replies. "Let's me pet and stroke him but will still snap at others, specially to protect his girl. I like my Jayne all-growly."
"Damn straight." Jayne agrees with a smirk. "Still like a good fight, that ain't ever gonna change."
"Now, son, ya got a wife now." Robert lectures. "Don't ya think it's time ya cut back on those wild urges?"
Jayne opens his mouth to respond when River cuts him off.
"No." River protests. "I like his darkness, the killer inside. It soothes me, takes the edge off mine."
"Mei-mei, you're not a killer." Simon argues.
River just turns to look him dead in the eyes. "She is what they made her, Simon." River says. "You can't change that; there is no drug or treatment that will fix her to what she was. That girl is gone; she died along time ago."
"Whose they?" Robert questions, not liking the young girl talking about herself like that.
"Hand of blue." River whispers, snuggling into Jayne's chest with a whimper. "I was their star pupil. Nobody else could handle the training and the conditioning, not like me."
"I'm a bit confused." Sam comments, looking at his brother's wife. There's an edge to her, one that shouldn't be there. He glances at his own wife, only two years older than Jayne's wife, thinking how innocent she seems compared to River. "What kind of training?"
"I don't know." Simon answers, watching as Jayne holds his sister. He may not have approved of the relationship before, but he does not. It doesn't take a genius to see how much safer River feels with the large merc, how lucid she is when he's there. "She won't tell me; I'm not sure that she remembers."
"She remembers, Simon." River replies. "She remembers everything. Some of it's made up, some of it's not real, and some of it can't be quantified. But she remembers every part, every pain, every thought, every drop of blood."
Jayne grits his teeth and wraps his arms tighter around the small bundle on his lap.
"Son, I think it would be best if maybe you explained some of it." Book suggests. "It will help answer their questions; I'm sure all the confusion River's reading off everyone can't be good for her well being."
"You are a very smart, preacher man." River says, cocking her head to the side. "Though she doesn't understand how your brain can work with all that chaos going on above it."
Book laughs. "You're never going to be comfortable with my hair, are you?"
"No." River answers. "I'm afraid the roof will cave in and your brain will be smooched. You don't want a smooched brain; it's not fun."
"Mei-mei, do you want me to explain?" Simon questions quietly.
"Yes." River answers. "They want to know why I'm….different."
"Jayne?" Simon questions.
"Yeah, it's fine, doc." Jayne assures him. "Ain't nobody gonna take this further than this room, dong ma? Ya're my family and all, but I will kill to keep her safe and it don't right matter who I gotta kill to ensure that."
Robert hears the threat in his son's sentence and nods. "We ain't gonna say nothin." Robert assures him, speaking for his family. "She's a Cobb now, ya know we protect them with our lives."
"I know." Jayne replies. "I also wanted it known that somethin' leaks out and it leads back to somebody in this room, well, they're gonna meet a side of me ain't none of ya ever seen 'fore."
"Roy, take the little ones in with Matty." Robert orders. "Do Brit and Cass need to leave?"
"No." River answers. "I was their age when the story starts."
Roy obeys his father, a scowl on his face. River watches him leave with a small smile.
"Watcha smilin' bout, baby?" Jayne questions, watchin' as his little brother takes his niece and nephew in the room with Matty.
"Roy." River answers. "He's a little you. Did you scowl like that when your were a boy?"
"Yes." Rita replies with a smile. "Jayne had that scowl down by the time he was 5."
"Do you have pictures?" River asks. "I would like to see a little Jayne."
"Yeah." Rita answers. "We can look at em tonight while the men do their drinkin'."
"And you can see pictures of me when I was little." River replies. "Simon brought some."
"He did?" Jayne questions. "Why ain't I ever seen em?"
"You never asked." River replies. "I will show you later."
"A'right." Jayne agrees. "Bill, ya might wanna grab a bottle of that whiskey. I know I'm gonna need a glass, pa will too."
"That bad?" Robert questions, watching as Bill leaves. He returns a few moments later with a large jug of whiskey.
"Yes." River answers for her husband. "You won't be able to not think of Cassie and Britney, how it could be done to a girl that young."
Bill pours himself and his father a glass before passing the bottle to the quiet captain. Mal pours some and passes it around the table, everybody but River and Julie taking some.
Simon downs his drink, grateful for the burn, before starting the story.
"I don't know how much Jayne has told you." Simon says. "So, I'll just start from the beginning. I am very smart, gifted is the word. So when I say my little sister makes me look like an idiot child, I want you to understand my full meaning. River is more than gifted; she is a gift. There's nothing that doesn't come as naturally to her as breathing does to the rest of us."
"Not true." River interrupts. "Can't eat problematic food."
Jayne chuckles and kisses his wife's head. "You'll get it one day, baby."
"It's not supposed to work that way." River pouts. "I've never not been able to do something. It's frustrating."
"Okay, besides ice planets, there's nothing she can't do." Simon corrects with a small smile. "She only went to school with kids anywhere near her own age once; they didn't want her back. The teachers got upset because she kept correcting them."
"But it was wrong." River protests. "They were teaching wrong material."
"It was from a textbook, River." Simon replies.
"The books were wrong." River says.
"How old was she then?" Mal questions, speaking for the first time. He ain't sure bout them tellin' the story but knows Jayne wouldn't endanger his wife.
"7, I think." Simon replies, looking at his sister to verify. "Is that right, mei-mei?"
"Depends." River answers. "Are you speaking from when procreation occurred or birth?"
"Birth." Simon replies.
"7 years, 8 months, 2 weeks, 3 days, 14 hours, 47 minutes, and 29 seconds old when they asked mother and father not to bring her back." River answers.
"Ya know the seconds?" Tim questions.
"She could tell ya down to the second when her and Jayne started sexin'." Kaylee replies with a giggle.
"But she won't, right little witch?" Mal replies. "Cause I got enough visuals that I don't need the countdown, again."
River nods.
"Okay, so she was almost 8." Wash says. "How old were the other kids?"
"16 or 17." Simon answers.
"She went to school with kids twice her age?" Inara questions.
"Not for very long." Simon replies. "My parents took her out of that school when the school requested it and never enrolled her in another. She got to do some other activities: dance, art, piano lessons but those never lasted long either. After a few lessons, she would surpass the teachers. Most adults don't like seeing a child able to something better than them after a few hours. Mostly, River stayed at him with books and anything my parents could buy to keep her attention. I spent as much time with her as I could but I was in school myself. A few months before her 14th birthday, my parents started looking for schools that she could attend. She was getting bored and they…."
"Were tired of having her around." River finishes the statement her brother won't. "It's okay, Simon. I was a difficult child to have; I know that."
"No, mei-mei." Simon protests. "You were never a burden; don't ever think that."
River just smiles sadly at her brother. "Just finish it."
"My parents were contacted by a government sponsored academy." Simon says. "We had never heard of it, which should have been our first clue, but they had the most exciting program. And River wanted to go. She wanted to learn. She was 14."
Robert glances at his twin daughters, sees them listening intently.
"For the first year, everything was fine." Simon says. "She would write me letters, telling me how much she was learning, how much she enjoyed it. I thought she had finally found a place to call home. Then, suddenly the letters stopped. I didn't get anything for months, close to a year if I'm recalling correctly. It's actually kind of a blur. Then I suddenly got a letter that made no sense. She wrote about things that never happened, jokes we never told. It alarmed me somewhat, but what made me realize something was wrong was that some of the words were misspelled."
"How did her misspellin' words make ya think somethin' was wrong?" Mal questions.
"River started correcting my spelling when she was 3." Simon answers.
"Oh." Mal replies.
"It was a code, a rather easy one too." Simon says. "When I took the missing letters from the misspelled words, it spelled out, 'They're hurting us. Get me out.'. I tried, but I couldn't get anywhere near her."
"What bout you're parents?" Rita questions. "Didn't they help?"
"They signed her away." River whispers.
"What?" Jayne growls.
"They let her wave her father." River replies. "He just told her that everything was okay, that she was making a fuss over nothing. They later told her that her parents signed waivers for the doctors to do anything they 'deemed necessary for her development'."
"That son of a bitch." Simon growls. "He lied to me. He knew something was wrong and just told me I was overreacting."
"They knew what they was doin' to ya?" Jayne asks quietly.
"Did her parents know they were cutting her head open like a pumpkin and scooping out her insides?" River replies. "No, they didn't want to know. They were happy living with the idea of their burden being gone."
"They cut her head open?" Sam questions, holding his wife's hand tightly.
"They removed parts of her brain." Simon answers. "Do you know when you're scared or nervous but you don't want to be so you push it to the back of your mind?"
"Yeah." Sam replies.
"They removed that part of her brain." Simon explains. "She feels everything; she can't not."
"Not with Jayne." River whispers. "He makes her feel safe; keeps things at bay."
Jayne pulls her closer and kisses her forehead.
River snuggles her face in his neck.
"I was eventually contacted by some people who said that they were indeed hurting her." Simon finishes. "They were able to sneak me into the hospital…"
"Whoa, ya never said ya went in." Mal cuts in.
"I'd just met you." Simon replies. "Didn't know how you would react if I told you I broke into a secret government hospital."
"Ya just walked in and got her?" Robert questions.
"Played dress up." River replies. "Was an inspector, seeing how the research was going."
"I got a tour of the hospital and then they took me into to observe a student, River." Simon replies, only to be cut off by River.
"See, most of our best work is done when they're asleep." River says, in a mechanical voice that Simon recognizes to be the doctor that he talked to at the Academy. "It's a little startling to see, but the results are spectacular. Especially in this case. River Tam is our star student. She's a genius. Her mental capacity is extraordinary, even with the side-effects."
"You heard all that?" Simon questions.
"No." River replies. "It's in your mind, a memory; your little sister strapped to a chair, convulsing and gasping with a needle through her forehead. You have nightmares about it." River's hand floats up to touch to spot the needle entered through. "But there's no mark, it just faded away."
Jayne tilts her head to examine the spot she touched before placing an open-mouth kiss on it.
"I got her out and into a cyro box." Simon finishes, holding his glass out, which Mal obediently fills. "Boarded onto Serenity and the rest is history."
Everyone is quiet for a few minutes while they absorb the information.
"Why?" Robert questions, breaking the silence. "What was the point?"
"I'm not sure." Simon replies. "I guess the Alliance wanted a…."
"Weapon." River interrupts. "She's a multi-million credit weapon."
"No, mei-mei.."
"All of our subjects are conditioned for combat but River…she's a creature of extraordinary grace." River states. "You can pretend all you want, but when it comes down to it, you're sitting in a room with Alliance's shiniest, most deadly weapon."
"Baby, ya ain't a weapon." Jayne argues.
"She knows 23 ways to kill you with a pen." River replies. "She's done it before; was given a mission and she carried it out. Saw the blood of her doctor covering her hands. That's why they want her back; she's the perfect assassin."
"Ya've killed?" Mal questions quietly.
"Yes." River answers. "You saw before. Ask Kaylee."
"What's Kaylee got to do with it?" Jayne questions.
"She saw." River answers. "Scared her."
"Kaylee, what's she talkin' bout?" Mal questions.
Kaylee looks at River before looking over at Mal. "It happened back when Niska took ya and Wash."
"I don't understand what that has to do with anything." Simon replies. "River wasn't in that fight; she was hiding."
"No, she weren't." Jayne says. "I locked her in my gorram bunk."
"What?" Simon questions.
"After Nara took her client to her room, I went to my bunk." Jayne starts.
"We know." Book replies. "We saw you leave but now I'm guessing it wasn't because of Inara's client."
"Naw, that was just an excuse." Jayne says. "Knew ya'd all think I was down there but wouldn't realize River was with me. She fell asleep and I went back to lift weights when Zoe figured somethin' was wrong. When her and Wash got back and decided to do their suicide mission, I went back to my bunk. River was freakin' out, sayin' somethin' bout how 'captain daddy died' and she had to rescue him. Told her no, loaded up and locked her in there."
"You knew?" Mal questions River quietly.
"Whoa, she was right?" Jayne asks.
"Yeah." Mal replies. "It was only for a second or two."
"Ya died?" Kaylee questions, tears in her eyes.
"Why didn't you say something?" Zoe growls.
"Cause ya felt all guilty for leavin' me." Mal replies. "I didn't wanna make it worse. I don't get how ya knew, little witch."
"Felt it." River replies, touching her stomach exactly where Mal has a scar from Niska's torture device.
"Oh, mei-mei, I would never want ya to feel that." Mal says.
"I've felt worse." River replies. "You handle torture well. Wash too."
"Uh, thanks." Mal replies. "I think. Still wanna know what Kaylee's got to say."
"Like I said, it was when we went to rescue ya." Kaylee says. "We all went in, though I didn't make much account for myself."
"I got no problem with the idea of ya not killin' somebody, little Kaylee." Mal replies. "Ya holdin' a gun ain't right."
"I know." Kaylee replies. "Well, I got pinned down by three guys and I couldn't…"
"She couldn't kill them." River finishes. "Knew what they would do to her but she couldn't take a life. It's okay, Kaylee, you're too innocent for that."
"So are you, little witch." Mal replies.
"No, I'm not." River calmly states. "Haven't been innocent for a long gorram time."
"Ya are to me." Jayne says.
"I know." River replies. "Finish it, Kaylee."
"I ran back into Serenity and hid behind the door." Kaylee says. "Then River comes up and takes one look out. And they was spread out, had some cover. She only looked for a second. Then she took my gun, closed her eyes, spun out in the open doorway, and killed em all."
"She killed them?" Simon questions.
"Shoot em." Kaylee replies. "They was dead in an instant."
"Fay hwa." Sam says. "Ya saw it wrong."
"No, she didn't." Jayne replies. "Seen her do it myself. Held her arm behind her and shot someone between the gorram eyes without lookin'. I just thought it was the first time she did it. She never told me bout this."
"You would have been mad." River whispers, looking down at her hands. "Didn't want you to be mad at me for not listening. I couldn't let them hurt Kaylee. She's my friend."
"I know, baby." Jayne replies. "Just don't want ya round flyin' bullets. Don't want ya to be shot."
"Been shot before." River replies.
"When?" Jayne growls.
"Training." River answers. "Didn't move fast enough. Learned better though."
"They shot ya?" Jayne growls, squeezing her tight.
"Yes." River replies. "It's part of the conditioning; what good is a weapon if it can't focus past pain?"
"Ain't a weapon." Jayne states. "You're a girl."
"Jayne's girl." River replies. "They made her a weapon; you make me a girl."
"Yeah." Jayne agrees.
"It's why we fit so well." River says. "We're both killers. You became one over time and I was made into one."
"That may be, little witch." Mal replies. "But I only got the need for one killer; you just work on bein' a girl, dong ma? I don't want ya havin' to use a gun anymore than I want Kaylee to. And I know your husband and brother both agree with me."
"Yes." Simon replies.
"Mal's right." Jayne says. "I don't want ya killin'. Leave that to us."
"She will try." River replies. "But just like her Jayne, she will kill to protect her family."
"Ya gonna protect me, baby?" Jayne questions with a small smile.
"If needed." River replies. "I can't….without you, I'd just turn back into the weapon. Need my Jayne."
"And he needs his River." Jayne whispers, dropping a light kiss on her lips. River moans and rotates her body to straddle his body, her hands moving up his chest. Jayne slides one hand into her hair while the other caresses her back as he deepens the kiss. River whimpers against his mouth and rocks herself against him. Her hand shoots up to grab the biscuit flying at them and launches it back to hit Bill in the forehead.
Jayne laughs against River's lips before pulling away.
"She hit me." Bill says, rubbing his forehead.
"Yeah, she did it to me too." Mal replies. "Kinda freaks ya out how she don't even look, don't it?"
"Just a little." Bill replies.
"Robert Jayne Cobb, get your hands up where we can see them." Rita yells. "This is the dinner table; ain't no place for that."
Jayne ignores his mom and grasps River's ass as he stands up. River wraps her legs around his hips and runs her hand under his shirt.
"We'll be in our room." Jayne grunts before carrying River out of the room.
"Is that normal?" Andrea questions, having not been present for the other times.
"Yeah." Mal answers.
"Ya get used to it after a while." Kaylee answers.
Rita grabs the pies and dishes them out along with the ice cream she made earlier. They sit around and eat the dessert, talking about different things, nobody wanting to think about what the just learned.
"JAAAYNEE!" River screams, making everyone jump.
"JESUS BABY!" Jayne yells.
"Not again." Mal mutters, slamming his head against the table right as River screams again.
"What's wrong with River?" Roy questions, coming out into the room. He looks around the table and notices Jayne and River gone. "They havin' sex again?"
"Just go back with your sister, son." Robert orders, wincing when he hears his son bellow his wife's name.
"Guess Jayne forgot to use the pillow." Kaylee comments with a giggle.
Cassie and Britney look at each other and start giggling.
"Mal, make them stay in their bunk." Simon pleads. "I understand that my sister has a sex life but I'd rather not have a front row seat for it."
"Me either." Mal agrees.
"So, the sound proofing really works?" Sam questions with a smirk.
"Yep." Mal replies. "We don't hear em."
"Probably a good thing." Bill comments. "Cause I think that drive me nuts after a week."
"Yeah." Mal agrees.
"Yeah what?" Jayne questions, moving back into the room looking rather disheveled, River holding his hand.
"Son, ya do realize that your room ain't sound proofed, don't ya?" Robert questions.
"Didn't really think bout it." Jayne replies. "Why?"
Britney and Cassie start giggling again.
"Cause they're impressionable ears round and they just done heard ya sexin up your wife." Robert replies.
"Loudly." Tim adds.
"Oh." Jayne mutters. "Ain't really my fault. She ain't got a bit of control…."
"And you do?" River cuts in with a glare.
"Not when it come to you." Jayne replies with a leer.
"I know." River whispers, slinking up to wrap her arms around his neck.
"NO!" Mal yells. "Kaylee, take River over there by ya. Jayne, grab the booze; we're goin outside." Kaylee grabs River's hand and pulls her away from her husband.
"Oh, Mal." Jayne slightly whines, making his brothers laugh.
"Jayne, I think ya can go a couple hours without sexin' up your wife." Robert says.
"Don't count on it." Wash mutters. "Ask him the longest her 'look' lasted."
"Look?" Tim questions.
"The 'ya done screwed up and now ya ain't gettin' any' look." Bill replies.
"There's a look for that?" Tim questions.
"Yes." Most of the men answer.
"How long does it last for?" Tim asks.
"A week or so." Bill answers. "I think 2 weeks was the longest."
"Same here." Sam replies.
"Me too." Wash agrees. "Now, Jayne, why don't you answer?"
"20." Jayne grunts.
"Days?" Tim questions.
"Hours." Wash corrects. "20 hours and he was complaining about it."
"I can't help it if my wife don't have anymore self control than I do." Jayne defends against the glares he's receiving. "Ain't that right, baby?"
"Yes." River replies. "I like sex, a lot."
"Mei-mei, we know." Simon says with a groan, his hand covering his face. "Oh, Buddha do we know."
Jayne chuckles before grabbing a jug of whiskey. "Baby, I'm just outside if'n ya need me."
"I know." River replies.
The men start outside, hands full of booze, cigars, and a horseshoe game set.
"Zoe, are you going to join them?" Inara questions as she helps Jayne's mom clear the table.
"Naw." Zoe replies. "That much male hormones just remind me of the war."
"I kept most of the wine." Kaylee replies with a smile. "We can have a good time too."
"Except me." Julie replies, patting her stomach.
"And me." River adds. "I don't…I've never drank before and I'm not sure what the effects will be. It wouldn't be safe or smart without Jayne here."
"Well, let's get this mess cleared then we can look at them pictures." Rita replies, agreeing with River. She don't think it's safe for the girl to be drinkin'. "I know ya got a hankerin' to see your husband as a baby."
"Yes." River replies with a smile. "Was he always so big?"
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