By UltimatePalmTree
Chapter IV
Misadventures in Traverse Town
After Demyx had successfully levered the offending piece of gum off his shoe and cast the stick off to the side, the two of them sat down on the steps and the musician was squinting down at the piece of paper while humming Want. Axel was only being quiet because Demyx had somehow managed to buy some bacon for him. After a few minutes of silence, he folded the note again and said, "I'm supposed to perform in the Second District. Where would that be?"
Axel shrugged and wolfed—no pun intended—down more bacon from the package. "Maybe there's a map?" Demyx suggested. Axel was going to respond with some snide comment about grabbing a map before they left, but then remembered that Demyx had the munny, and it would be odd to have a wolf go up to someone in a store and ask where the bacon was. So, he kept his head down and mouth (technically) shut.
At this, Demyx rose in a slight daze, and started wandering around the so-called 'First District' of Traverse Town, looking at any possible surface for a map. Finally, there was a yell of "YES! YES!" from near the massive door. When Axel managed to look up from his now empty package of bacon, Demyx was doing a dumb little happy dance. "I found a map! I found a freaking map!" he was yelling.
Stupid Demyx… Axel thought, languidly getting up and leaving Demyx's satchel and sitar by the stairs. When he joined the musician, Demyx was still doing the happy dance. "Demyx, would you be so kind so as to calm down and READ IT!" Axel roared. At this, Demyx stopped and turned to face the map, still bouncing on the balls of his feet.
After a few minutes, Demyx said, "Ya know what? This map doesn't help at all. Look at it. It just shows the three little district signs, and three little dotted lines connecting them. Sure, there are some pretty stars, but that doesn't do anything to help you find your way…"
Axel sighed, walked behind him and pushed Demyx towards the sign, using the hunched-over Organization member as a foot stool so he could see it himself. Now, if you remember correctly, Axel is illiterate as a wolf. Even if he could read the cryptic symbols on the little icons (which were really just the numbers '1', '2', and '3'), he wouldn't be able to figure out which way was right and which way was left using this map.
"Screw it, Demyx. It doesn't mean anything… We'd get better results from a tarot card deck," Axel grunted as he got off Demyx.
"We could ask Luxord!" Demyx exclaimed as he got up.
"That would require us being in the close vicinity of Luxord to begin with! And, since they are on an apparent vacation, Luxord is nowhere in sight!"
Demyx wagged a finger at Axel and said, "They never said where they were going, now did they? So, they could be here!"
Axel cocked both his head and a disbelieving eyebrow. Why anyone would want to stay more than three hours in this place was beyond him. "So, why don't we start looking for them right now?" he suggested.
Demyx shrugged. "After my concert," was his response. He turned on his heel and started back towards the sitar and satchel by the stairs.
"What?" Axel asked. "You have done nothing but put your freaking concerts before me every single place we went! If you were actually tryingto help me, you would actually help try and get my regular body back! But noooo," This last word accidentally turned into a howl, of which Axel corrected immediately. "You have to go around and play your sitar while I sit here miserable!"
Demyx had paused in walking, and turned around slowly. His eyes were merely slits now, and his mouth was set into a slight snarl that would've looked perfect on Axel's lupine façade. Demyx only said one thing.
"Bite me,"
And Axel did.
Well, the wolf tried, at least. Give him some credit. All that ensued next was a chase between the enraged wolf and the sitar player, which proved rather interesting to outside viewers. Had there been any outside viewers in the pavilion of the First District, they would have thought so, too.
Well, maybe there was one.
What appeared to be a lithe shadow in corporeal form came from the darkened alleyway of Traverse Town's First District. It was obviously human… or was obviously human, with 'was' as the operative word. The creature was crawling around on all fours and the previously human hands and feet were now talons made out of pure darkness. A pair of antennae came from the creature's head, and they twitched slightly every so often. A pair of golden eyes peered out from behind shaggy black hair, watching as Axel chased Demyx.
It twitched in an almost instinctive way as it slowly made its way towards the pavilion, never taking its eyes off the two running around. Finally, it reached the edge of the stairs, where it promptly sat down and cocked its head at them like a confused dog. It watched as Demyx yelled as Axel came closer to his rear end, and then looked down at the stairs in front of him. A bag and an instrument of some sort were lying there, doing nothing.
The creature got up and started down the steps towards the bag and the instrument. Carefully and with deliberate slowness, it eased one clawed hand into the bag and felt around for anything valuable. Pieces of paper… An earring… A blanket… Nothing new.
Then the greedy little beast found Demyx's stash of munny.
It grinned a demented little grin. Munny…
"…And I'm sorry about the time I grabbed the wrong pants after…" Demyx abruptly stopped running.
So did Axel. The red wolf stopped in his tracks, panted for a few seconds before falling over on his side and doing a credible impression of a dead wolf. He was counting on a little rest before going on to bite Demyx's head off, but what happened next was totally uncalled for.
"AXEL!" Demyx was yelling at the top of his lungs. "Something's stealing our munny! Attack!"
Axel, being startled by Demyx's abrupt yell, was now standing on all fours and panting. He whipped his head around to face the stairs so fast, he felt and heard his neck crack. Demyx, for once, was entirely correct. Some freaky shadow thing was sitting on the stairs, clutching the small burgundy leather satchel in between its thumb and index finger, head cocked and blinking dumbly at them.
"What are you waiting for? Attack, Axel! Attack!" Demyx yelled.
At this, the creature abruptly turned tail on the confused pair and retreated towards the dark alley near the Accessory Shop.
There was a moment of silence, unless you happen to count the wind rushing through the streets of Traverse Town. Then Demyx said, "He stole my munny…"
"Brilliant deduction…" Axel growled.
"He stole my freaking munny…"
"You're just grasping that concept?"
"Whatever that thing was, it stole my munny…"
Axel sighed. If he wasn't gonna get it, it wasn't gonna get it.
Suddenly, the wolf fell to the ground, limbs splayed apart in a most undignified manner. "Run, Axel!" Demyx yelled, digging his black gloved hands into Axel's fur and flesh around his neck. "Hunt that thing down and rip it to shreds!"
"Off me now, Demyx!" Axel rasped. "You're crushing… my lungs…"
Demyx, instead of obliging like any sensible person would, instead kicked Axel in the side with the heel of his boot. As if I'm a horse… Axel thought. "Mush!"
Axel brought all four limbs under him and managed to contort himself into something resembling a standing position. At this, Demyx abruptly fell forwards onto Axel's back, almost crushing him again. "Run, Axel!" This time, Demyx was uncomfortably close to his ear. There goes the other ear… "C'mon! I'm supposed to ride you! It's like in those fantasy books where the hero has a faithful wolf sidekick…"
"Well, news flash, Demyx. You're not in a fantasy book. You're not a fantasy hero, in any sense of the word. And I'm furthermore not your faithful sidekick!"
There was a pause in which Axel was pretty positive Demyx was glaring at him. "Alright… Fine… I'll track whatever it is down…"
Demyx punched the air triumphantly and yelled, "Ookla! Ariel! We ride!"
A pause. "Think you can yell that a tad louder? Don't think the people in Destiny Islands heard you…"
A deep breath on Demyx's part.
"Don't even think about it…"
Axel inwardly wondered if Demyx had packed bricks in his satchel and eaten a pound of wet cement for breakfast as he carried the hyperactive Organization member through Traverse Town. How else would he weigh so damn much! "Axel! Hurry it up!" Demyx kicked Axel's side again. "I wanna get to the hotel before the concert!"
"Do you want to have your arm torn off before the concert?"
"No… Then I wouldn't be able to play the sitar,"
"Then I suggest you stop annoying me,"
There was silence as Axel attempted to press onwards with Cement Butt on his back, and finally reached some stairs. He paused at the top, unsure of whether or not to continue. He cocked a nonexistent (or at least, well-hidden) eyebrow at the task at hand and then grinned evilly. "Hey, Demyx…"
"Yah?"
"Did you know you can lead a cow up a staircase, but not down a staircase?"
Demyx paused, obviously thinking. "Yeah. I did know that. Remember when Vexen decided to test that out a few years ago?"
"AXEL! DEMYX! Get the hell out of the way!"
"Why?" Demyx challenged. "Why do little Demyx and Axel have to make way for big Vexen? I'm staying here!"
"MOOOOOOOO!"
THUD.
A pause. "Well… now that I want to move and I can't…"
Axel shuddered. "Yes, I do. But that's beyond the point. You remember that fact, right?"
Demyx's hand involuntarily went to his ribcage. "Well… It's kind of hard to forget when two tons of bovine crashes down the stairs and pins you to the wall for fifteen hours straight…"
"Did you ever think that the same principle might apply to wolves?"
A pause. "No. Wolves are basically dogs. D'you remember Frou-Frou, Larxene's Pomeranian?"
"Yes, that thing was a nightmare…"
"Well, Frou-Frou went up and down stairs all the time. Mostly upstairs to take a piss in Saïx's room…"
"I remember that's how the stupid thing met its demise…"
"Yup," Demyx nodded. "Frou-Frou, thou art missed,"
"Not," Axel growled. "Anyway, did you ever think that wolves just don't want to go down stairs?"
"No…"
"Ever wonder what happens to those macho fantasy heroes when their loyal wolf sidekick decided not to go down stairs?"
"Not really, no. Why?"
At that instant, Axel bucked forward, intending on letting Demyx fly off his back and fall to the cobblestones below them. Now, I must explain something to you, dear readers. Have you ever tried to put shampoo and conditioner in a wolf's fur and then try to get it out without being mauled? Well, let me tell you. This is a hard task. An extremely hard task. In fact, in some worlds there's Extreme Wolf Washing. Yeah. So, given the difficulty of this increasingly rare sport, Demyx never really had time to groom his 'trusty steed'. Given this little factor, Axel's red fur was beginning to get gnarled and ridden with tangles, and thus had given Demyx's grip some help.
So, let us just say that Axel was more than slightly surprised when he felt his paws lift off the ground as Demyx flew forwards down the stairs.
Axel had never really fallen down the stairs.
Sure, he had his moments. Ones that were embarrassing and those he preferred not to go into. He had gotten himself into this freaking mess, so that was one tally against him. But the affair of being turned into a wolf wasn't quite as embarrassing as this new obstacle brought before him.
He was lying on top of a very disoriented Demyx, both of whom probably had a splitting headache, and both were getting stares from a pair of people on a bench who had—until their fall—been making out. The wolf shook his head to clear his thoughts before attempting to roll over onto his feet, and then focused on getting the basics back in his head.
It would've been something rather like this:
My name is Axel… I think it's a Tuesday… I haven't been in this much pain since Larxene's 'joyous time of the month'… And… uhhh… I'm still a doggie, aren't I?
Demyx's sorting-out thoughts don't need to be transcribed; I'm sure you can figure them out on your own.
Well, alright, maybe one thought.
Issa bunny rabbit!
"That didn't turn out too good…" Axel muttered and shook himself as if he had been wet.
"It was better than the incident with the cow…" Demyx answered, pulling himself up into a kneeling position. He placed a hand on Axel's back and—using Axel as a balance—pulled himself up into a standing position. "Is that really what happens when wolf riders' wolves don't want to go down the stairs, Axel?"
"I… have no clue… I don't read fantasy much…" the wolf answered truthfully.
"You don't read at all, Axel,"
The wolf shot him a glare and started on its disoriented trek away from Demyx. "Hey, where are you going?"
"Far away from you," Axel growled. "You are psychopathic!"
"I am not psychopathic!"
"Why'd you jump on me when you had the chance, then?" Demyx paused uncomfortably. Before Demyx could say anything, he yelled, "You have no honor!" He started backing away, a snarl on his face. "You're a disgusting freak! I howl in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!"
Demyx watched as Axel continued to foam at the mouth before muttering, "I knew those Monty Python DVDs were a bad idea for Axel's Christmas present…" He reached into his satchel, took out a dog treat, and approached Axel apprehensively. The red wolf whirled around, wild-eyed and spouting random Monty Python references that he was attempting to pass off as insults. Sad thing was they seemed to be working…
"Hey! What the heck are you doing!" Axel finally figured out that Demyx was coming closer to him with something in his hand. "Don't do anything or I'll rip your face off and—"
Shove.
Pause.
"Yay! It's lamb and rice! My favorite!"
From that moment on, no one else in Castle Oblivion (except, of course, Demyx) could figure out why Axel ate lamb and rice dog treats once and a while.
The wolf, now about seventy-five percent happier than he was before, complacently sat next to Demyx, who was trying to figure out where a… whatever the heck that thing was… would be hiding. Well… One would naturally assume it'd be hiding in the shadows somewhere… he thought. So, without a second thought as to what else could be hiding in the shadows somewhere with it, Demyx started off.
"Soooooo… how goes the expedition?"
Demyx blinked and said, "Well… good news is… I don't think that raccoon was rabid…"
"If you start foaming at the mouth, I want to hold the gun and pull the trigger,"
"You kind of can't… No opposable thumbs…"
Axel sighed. "Is there a single solitary activity I can do without opposable thumbs!"
Pause. "Well… uhhh… there's… uh… well… no, not really… no…"
"Demyx?"
"Yeah?"
"Do us all a really, really big favor and shut up,"
Demyx pouted, to which Axel responded with a snarl. That dissolved into a skeptical look (or as skeptical as a wolf's face can get) before Axel started sniffing around the pavilion. Mixed in with the metallic smell of the lights surrounding the district and the musty stench of rain was the unmistakable scent of leather. The wolf put his nose to the ground and started sniffing fervently, tail wagging slowly as he started on the trail.
Finally, the wolf found what he was looking for: a small, limp sac made out of cow hide. With traces of Demyx's scent on it. So, being the noble wolf he was, he did what any wolf in his situation would have done.
He picked it up in his mouth and started chewing.
This lasted about fifteen seconds, possibly twenty. It lasted until Demyx decided to whap Axel on the head with a rolled-up newspaper. "Bad Axel! Bad! You don't eat things you find on the street! Spit it out now, Axel!"
Another whap on the head with that newspaper and Axel spat it out. Demyx wasted no time in picking it up and examining it. Faded, but still there, was a blue biohazard symbol. Obviously one of Demyx's tokens from a concert he attended back when Axel was still human. "It stole my freaking munny! Every single orb!" he finally shrieked upon examining the inside of the sac.
"Does that mean no more bacon?"
Demyx nodded solemnly.
Axel decided to take a page out of Luke Skywalker's book.
Author's Notes
Graah! I said I would be faster in updates but… eh… I've failed you all… I am sorry, first of all, for the delay. Inspiration and Donovan decided to take a vacation in Tahiti and weren't answering their phones. In translation: I had a very bad case of writer's block.
After watching one Family Guy DVD about eighty or ninety times, I decided to get up off my rear and write. After I finished the last chapter, I started this one and it just… kinda sat there. I poked it with a stick, but it didn't quite respond. So… I decided to take some time off…
Anyway, enough with excuses. I don't own KH or Monty Python or Star Wars or whatever. Anything you don't recognize is probably mine. Anything referenced here doesn't belong to me unless stated otherwise… The song Demy was humming is from Disturbed, so it's not mine either. Yup. I couldn't fit in the song lyrics to Want in here, so I had Demy hum them instead…
Maybe I'll have Demy sing Eye of the Tiger next… XD
To the last chapter's supposed Ghost in the Shell reference, I'm not angry. As I said, it was obscure, so… I shouldn't have asked anyone about it… It's the name of the train they rode on: T9. My favorite character from that series is Togusa, and he works for Section 9. Hence, T9.
Review response time! Thanks to all who reviewed and all who even read this fic. Like I said, you guys are the main reasons why I haven't taken this story down.
Neassa: I know! I didn't like fighting Demy that much… Although, his appearance in the game—however short-lived—made my day!
2a2n: Thanks! And yesh… Axel does kick ass. In more ways than one…
Kingdom Alchemist: Yup… Axel is having a miserable time… It's fun though. Probably for Demyx more than Axel, 'cause Axel can't hurt him via fire or chakrams. That is a good point though; Axel probably wouldn't hurt Demy with fire anyway. Chakrams, however, are a different story, ne?
Not aGeisha Gurl: Thanks! XD Yup. No fire… Maybe if Axel can borrow a magnifying glass or matches from someone, there might be fire… (shrugs)
Miss Zen: Yes, Demy is poetic… You're just jealous, aren't ya, Axel? (Axel: growls)
Sahxyel: XD Maybe I'll have that in a later chapter. "No, Demy, I don't wanna play fetch! Ooh, shiny chakram!" (runs after chakram)
MaraudersForPresident: OO; The MaraudersForPresident? Wow. I'm very honored. XD You can squish Wolf!Axel anytime you want!
Lazy Ass Bastard: I just realized that's grammatically incorrect… Ah, well… If you laughed, I s'ppose that's better!
koiree: XD I wish they had plushies of various Organization members as animals… I'd so buy them, even if Axel wasn't a wolf.
Joseph-ChesCa-the-Damned: Thanks! Basically, a crackfic is a fiction that you wrote under one of two circumstances: you're entirely bored or acting like your on crack.
I think that's it… If I missed anyone, I'm sorry!
So… until chapter five, I guess. If any of you have any ideas for songs for Demy to sing, please let me know! I was thinking of having Demy sing Don't Stand So close to Me by the Police or Janie's Got a Gun by Aerosmith. Or Take on Me by A-ha. Yeah… I dunno.
Also, the little shadow creature is anyone you want him to be: Sora, Riku, some random OC you came up with that turned into an anti-version of themselves… whoever and whatever. No one specific. Don't know who I think he/she is yet.
Thank you to Kuro, once again, for being my beta! And writing some pretty funny fics. Go read them; you won't be disappointed.