Trying To Be Human

Chapter 4: First Impressions

A/N: as always, sorry for the no-plausable-excuse delay... and, yes, the Sins will be making an appearance later... just not this chapter.
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The Mustangs had never had children. They had dogs, and they were happy that way. (As Riza had often lamented, it wasn't really legal to train a toddler at gunpoint.) So, in lieu of their own offspring to coddle, they coddled Elly. To her, they were family, and that was why, when she announced her engagement for the first time, it was as so important that Roy and Riza be there.

Which was perfectly fine, Reg told himself, and actually very sweet, and OH SWEET CHEESE! They're HERE! I'm going to die! Lust was wrong, they're going to kill me...

Elly swept past him to get the door, but not without stopping to straighten out his (clean) shirt collar and kiss him lightly on the cheek. "They're going to love you," she told him confidently.

"Shh! You'll jinx it."

"There's nothing to jinx," Elly assured her nervous fiancé, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, and,

DING-DONG, rang the doorbell impatiently.
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Outside, Roy leaned on the doorbell and tried to peer through the curtains as Riza lectured him on proper boyfriend-meeting etiquette.

"Gracia says that he's a nice boy, so none of that I-know-what-you-did type stuff. We aren't here to intimidate the poor kid."

"Yes we are," her husband interrupted. "That's the whole point! This boy needs to learn that we are not his friends. We are to be feared. And respected."

Riza shook her head, hiding her smile behind the cake she was carrying. (When the two families got together, the Mustangs traditionally brought dessert. Store bought, of course, Gracia having no illusions about either's ability to cook.) "Mustang..."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, tell me. What?"

It may be noted that Roy and Riza had a happy marriage. However, now one, including themselves, could find any substantial proof of this.

Elly threw open the door and hugged Roy joyously, calling, "Roy-san!"

Roy returned the hug, calling, "Elysia-chan!"

Gracia ran out of the kitchen, calling out greetings.

Reg fidgeted awkwardly in the background until Roy fixed him with the Military's patented cold, heartless, unfeeling look.

Elly came to her fiancé's rescue when she noticed he was about to start hyperventilating. "Roy, Riza, this is Reg."

Riza smiled. Roy did not. Riza glared at him (Roy, not Reg). Roy returned the glare with a silent "what?". Riza twitched. Roy pretended not to notice. Riza set the cake down and reached for her gun. Roy gulped and offered Reg his hand.

Reg gulped and shook it. "It's good to meet you, sir."

Roy made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat.

Reg guessed then and there that the night was not going to go well.
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Dinner was, indeed, unpleasant. Through some catastrophic accident in seating arrangements, Reg found himself across the table from Roy, and, he swore, that man didn't blink the entire evening!

"So, Ron," the hostile adult asked over his food.

"It's Reg, Roy," Reg corrected good-naturedly.

"It's Mr. Mustang, Reg," Roy agreed.

Reg lowered his eyes submissively. "Yes... sorry, sir."

"Anyway, 'Reg'", just what is it that you do for a living?"

"I... um.. Well, I ... um..." Reg's mind went blank in panic, and he ended up answering with the truth, "I bus tables at a local café."

"A noble profession," Roy remarked dryly.

"Reg is studying to become a doctor, aren't you, dear?" Elly interrupted, thank goodness.

"Oh, really?" Roy raised an eyebrow in such a way to suggest he had been more impressed with the table-busing gig. Reg gulped and when back to not speaking unless spoken to, which worked fairly well... until dessert.

Elly cleared her throat to get everyone's attention. "Reg and I have an announcement to make."

Reg, his nerves destroyed from sitting under Roy's death stare all evening, panicked. "We do?" Elly just winked and squeezed his hand, which was when Reg noticed that she had slipped her engagement ring back on. "Oh. Yeah. We do."

"Mommy, Roy, Riza... Reg and I are getting married."

"You are?" Gracia gasped, leaping out of her seat to hug her daughter and future son-in-law.

"You are?" gasped Roy, stunned.

Riza's expression didn't change. She took another bite of cake.
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Reg offered to clean up the dishes, and Roy jumped to help him, if that's what you want to call it. He really wasn't so much helping as he was taking advantage of an opportunity to speak to the young man alone.

"So, a doctor, huh?" Roy asked, leaning menacingly against the stove.

Reg gulped as he scrubbed another plate. "Yes, sir." He remembered Envy once told him that Colonel Mustang had shot a couple of doctors early on in his career. He hoped it was a one-time type of thing.

"And do your folks know that you're planning on getting married?"

Reg nodded. "I called them and told them." This seemed a little impersonal, so he added, "They live out in the country, so it's hard to get out there to see them." Roy didn't say anything, so Reg continued, "they were very happy about the whole thing. They think Elly's great."

"Oh, have they met her?"

Too late, Reg realized his mistake. "Um.. Yes, sir."

Fortunately, Roy didn't think anything of it. "So, tell me a little bit about your family. What does your father do?"

"Well, actually, I don't really have a father... I live with a... um... a distant cousin and her friends."

"I see," Roy said quietly, reminding Reg uncomfortably of a professor of his who would walk around with a clipboard during labs, and who always said "I see" when you messed up. "We'll have to meet them sometime... And you think you're in love with Elysia?"

Finally, a question Reg knew the answer to. "I know I am. She's the only person I could ever be happy with. Just thinking about her makes me feel better, and I love the way she laughs." He continued in this vein until Roy gagged a little, and Reg took this as a sign to wrap it up. "I want to spend the rest of my life with her... um, Mr. Mustang, sir."

Feeling a little warm under the older man's disapproving stare, Reg pulled off his sweater.

"What's that on your arm, Reg?" Roy scowled.

"Th-th-this?" stuttered Reg, clamping a hand over the odd mark on his upper right arm. "Just a scar... my neighbor's poodle, Reynard, attacked me on my way home from school when I was little. I hated that dog."

"You don't like dogs?" Roy asked menacingly.

"No sir! I love dogs! Really! I just... didn't care for that poodle very much! That's all!"

"I see."
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"I don't like him," Roy declared, as Riza drove them home. (Married how long, and he still didn't have that damn driver's license.) "He's hiding something."

"He's a college student, Mustang. What could he possibly have to hide?"

"Drugs, mafia ties, another wife,"

"He's in college."

"I don't trust a boy who doesn't like dogs."

Riza groaned. "For god's sake, he didn't say he doesn't like dogs, he said he had a bad run-in with a poodle!" She glanced accusingly at the man next to her. "If I recall, you don't like poodles much, either."

Roy turned to the window to hide from his wife's stare. "I'm always afraid they'll bite my ankles," he whispered. "All right, She-Who-Knows-All, what did you think of him?"

At once, Riza's face became completely unreadable, especially by streetlight. "I didn't get much of a chance to talk to him."

"Well, you'll have plenty of chance tomorrow," her husband remarked bitterly. "And that's another thing! Why didn't he tell us his "family" was in town?"

"They were here for an operation, Roy! The poor kid was probably worried to death, he didn't want to talk about it."

"I don't know about this "family". One kid and a bunch of completely unrelated adults? Something's up with that. It's not what I want Elysia marrying into."

The car screeched to a halt as Riza pulled into their driveway. "Listen to me, Colonel," (Roy had long since been promoted, but Riza still called him that, particularly when she was angry), "you are going to be nice to these people. Not just polite, nice. We are going to make friends with them, and we are not going to judge them just because they aren't a traditional family unit. This is the family our little girl's future husband is from, and you had better be on your best damn behavior, or else. Do you understand me?"

"But, Rizy,"

"This is serious! Do you understand me?"
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"Well, that went pretty well," Elly told Reg half-heartedly after the Mustangs left.

"It was a fiasco, wasn't it?" he asked glumly, sitting on the couch.

"Not a fiasco, per say... it could have gone a lot worse."

"I'm sorry, Elly. I really tried,"

"Oh, Reg!" the young woman exclaimed encouragingly, hugging him. "I know you did! I wasn't blaming you. Roy-san'll lighten up. He's just shocked, that's all."
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It was rather late when the Sins got a phone call to their hotel room.

"Hello," Sloth greeted. "Oh, Elly! Why are you calling?... Really? Of course! We'd love to!... oh, yeah, Greg'll be out by then, but he might not be able to eat much... where? Is that place still open?... Great!... Mustangs? Not Roy Mustang? ...I can't believe it. After all these years. I'd love to see them again... oh, well, I imagine you're tired... ok, 6:30, then. Goodnight, love." Sloth hung up, smiling at her companions. "Well, we have something to do tomorrow night!"
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Elly hung up, staring quizzically at the phone. "Hey, Reg?... Trisha just said she'd love to see Roy and Riza "after all these years"... what did she mean?"

Reg's whole body stiffened. "Oh no. How could I have forgotten?"

Elly caught onto the mood. "Forgot what?"

"Sloth... Trisha... used to be with the Military..."

"Oh God, Reg... what have we done?" Ok, Elly was beginning to understand why her sweetheart had been so stressed when they visited his folks. "What if they recognize each other?"

"It was a long time ago," Reg gulped. "They might not remember..."

"Might..." Elly echoed.