Title: Redemption
Series: Slayers in Space
Author: Sevangel
Disclaimer: Not mine
Rating: PG-13
FYI: This part explains why River and Faith are so alike.
-
"I still can't believe she kissed you." Wash comments with wide eyes.
"Husband, it was almost an hour ago, time to move on." Zoe says, smiling at her husband.
"Was she a good kisser?" Wash asks.
"Girl's got some skills." Zoe answers.
"Huh." Wash comments. His mind starts forming pictures of Zoe and Faith doing more than kissing. "So, Mal, was Kaylee a good kisser?"
"Hey." Simon protests.
"Don't really remember." Mal answers. "I was still too focused on Zoe's kiss to really absorb my own. She's got a strong tongue though, forced my mouth right open."
"That true, doc?" Jayne asks with a smirk.
"I'm not answering that." Simon replies with a glare.
"What bout River?" Zoe asks Jayne with a knowing look. "She a good kisser?"
"Don't you dare answer that!" Simon yells at Jayne.
Jayne smirks at Simon. "Ain't been kissed in years but I gotta say, she knows what she's doin."
"Wonder how that is?" Mal ponders out loud.
"What?" Simon questions, still upset at seeing his little sister kiss Jayne.
"Just wonderin how she got skilled in kissin." Mal answers. "Ya said she was 14 when she went to the academy, too young then to do much kissin."
"She would have never had the opportunity." Simon cuts in. "She was kept at home most of the time and when she did leave, it was for classes or outings with our parents. She was never alone with people her own age except at school."
"That sounds so wrong to me." Wash mutters. "She didn't ever get to be a kid?"
"No." Simon answers. "A lot of that had to do with how smart she is. By the time she was 3, she was already correcting my spelling. By 7, she was correcting texts books. She could never connect with kids her own age. She was always so much smarter and my parents didn't like her standing out."
"Huh." Mal comments. "Must have been hard having your little sister correctin ya all the time."
"It was annoying, at times." Simon replies with a fond smile. "But she was so special. She didn't rub it in that she was smarter; it was just a part of who she was. She could be a brat sometimes but she was a child, so it was expected. Sometimes I think she wasn't comfortable knowing so much without having to work at it."
"So, like I was saying." Mal starts. "She didn't do no kissin before she went into the academy and I don't think she's done any since bein on this boat, so where did she learn it? Even if Jayne don't kiss now, I'm guessin he's done some in his time and knows a good kiss from a bad one."
"Yeah." Jayne agrees. He may not kiss whores now but he did in the past.
"They didn't do those types of things to her in the academy, did they?" Mal questions Simon.
"I'm not sure." Simon answers. "Her hymen is no longer in place but that could be from a number of reasons. I asked her many times but she would avoid the question."
"Maybe you should ask Faith to talk to her." Zoe suggests a few moments later. "They seem to have a bond; River may feel more comfortable talking to another girl about it."
"You may be right." Simon agrees. He doesn't like to think there's something that River won't talk to him about, but she may feel more comfortable with another female. "Can we please change the subject? And can I have that bottle Jayne?"
Jayne glances at Simon and then looks down at the bottle clenched tightly in his fist. "Sure." Jayne grunts as he slides the bottle to him. He never really though bout where she learned to kiss but now that Mal's made him, he's startin to wonder. And where that wonderin leads to, pisses him off. He was already wantin to kill the bastards that fucked with her brain, but if'n he finds out they raped her, well there ain't gonna be much that'll stop him from doin it.
"I just thought of something." Wash says, interrupting Jayne's train of thought. "Didn't they say they were going to go play strip poker?"
"Yes, I do believe they did." Zoe agrees.
"They wouldn't really do that, right?" Wash questions. "3 girls playing strip poker? Where's the fun it that?"
"The fun would be the watchin." Jayne comments.
"Jayne." Zoe scolds jokingly. "You're making the doctor all upset. Though I have to wonder which would bother him more, you seeing his girlfriend naked or his sister."
"Kaylee." Simon answers.
"Really?" Mal questions, shocked. "As overprotective as you are, I would think it'd bother you more for him too see River naked."
"He's already seen her naked." Simon replies. "You all have, remember?"
"Yeah, but that wasn't the same." Wash argues. "She was all screamin and stuff, he couldn't of…."
"You weren't being held against his front." Simon mutters, wincing at the memory. "He was…affected."
"Really." Zoe comments with a grin. Jayne glares at her and then yanks the bottle out of Simon's hand.
"Moving back to our earlier discussion, they wouldn't really play strip poker, would they?" Wash questions.
"They just came out here and kissed us." Mal comments. "Don't think there's much they won't do. Though Kaylee knows better than to run round the boat naked, so as long they stay in their room, there won't be no trouble."
"Yeah, they wouldn't want the punishment." Wash mutters.
"Punishment?" Simon questions. "Punishment for what?"
"Runnin round the ship nekkid." Jayne answers. "Mal didn't tell ya?"
"No." Simon replies. "There's a punishment?"
"Wait a second." Wash yells. "Simon never got the 'ya get caught runnin round the ship nekkid and I'm gonna make ya clean out the septic tank with a toothbrush' talk?"
"Didn't see it as necessary." Mal answers. "Look at him. He's so gorram proper I don't see him walkin out of his room with his shoe untied, let alone naked."
"Hey." Simon protests.
"It's the truth and ya know it." Mal retorts. "Ya ain't ever left your room, the engine room, or Kaylee's without a shirt on, let alone naked."
"You'd be wrong there." Simon replies.
"When?" Mal questions.
"Early." Simon answers. "I left my room without a shirt, though he let me grab one before we left the area."
"Oh." Mal mutters, still upset about the whole Early incident. "Okay, besides being held at gunpoint, you'd never leave your room naked." Mal corrects himself.
"I still don't get it." Wash mutters. "That was one of the first rules I got when I signed on."
"Me too." Jayne agrees.
"I knew Jayne need it within a few minutes of meetin him." Mal defends. "I saw the way Wash was looking at Zoe, so I knew he'd needed it. Doc just don't put off a 'runnin round naked' vibe."
"Thanks." Simon says sarcastically. "So has anybody broken it?"
"Wash." Mal answers. "I did, but it don't count. My clothes were stolen, I couldn't help it."
"Still should have been punished." Wash complains. "Wifey, why didn't you make him clean the septic tank?"
"He didn't voluntarily take of his clothes, husband, he was forced at gunpoint." Zoe explains. "You, on the other hand, got caught buck naked on the bridge."
"You were too." Wash protests.
"I heard him comin and got dressed." Zoe replies. "I told you to get dressed but you didn't listen to me. It was your own fault."
Wash opens his mouth to say something when they hear the girls coming back to the mess.
"I didn't cheat." River growls as they move into the mess. "I didn't read your minds and I didn't count cards."
"Then you wanna explain how we both ended up naked 3 times while you only lost your dress once." Faith replies as they move to sit down.
"I didn't cheat." River restates. "I can't help it if I know every hand you can get in a game of 5 card draw. I don't do it on purpose; when I get dealt a hand of cards, my brain automatically starts calculating the possible combinations I can get. It's not something I knowingly do."
"Oh." Kaylee mutters. "Don't it get confusin havin all those numbers floatin through your head?"
"No." River answers. "You get used to it."
"I'm outa games then." Faith replies. "Mal won't let us play Dawnie's version of dare."
"I won't?" Mal asks.
"I doubt it." Faith replies.
"What's Dawnie's version of dare?" Wash asks. "And who's Dawnie?"
"Dawnie is B's little sister." Faith answers. "And her version of dare is a bit extreme; body piercing, tattoos, runnin naked through public areas, that kinda thing."
"Running naked?" Zoe asks. "You didn't really do that, did you?"
"I didn't." Faith answers. "Giles made us stop playing after Spike ran through a police station naked."
"Who's Spike?" Kaylee asks.
"Another vamp, one of Angel's childes." Faith answers. "Or grandchilde, never really got the whole vamp family thing."
"Grandchilde." River replies. "Angel made Drusilla who made Spike."
"Oh." Faith mutters. "Anyways, we were all trashed and Dawnie said he wouldn't do it. He said he would. So, bout 10 of us walked down to the local police station where Spike preceded to strip down to nothing but his Dockers and his 'special duster'…"
"Special duster?" Mal questions. "What's that?"
"Long, black coat that he took off the body of a slayer he killed." Faith answers.
"He killed a slayer?" Kaylee gasps. "Like what you and River are?"
"Yep." Faith answers. "Actually two. But he's got a soul now, so it's all okay. But as I was saying, he walked into the police station, pretended like he was gonna make a complaint, and once they took him to the back part of the station, he took off the coat and started jumping around the room."
"Did he get arrested?" Zoe asks.
"Nope, they tried to catch him, but they couldn't." Faith answers and then starts laughing. "We were all waiting outside the station when he comes running out with like 15 police officers on his heels. All I remember seeing was his white ass, and I mean white; he'd make doc seem tan, running down the street. It was on the news and everything. Man, were Angel and Giles pissed. I thought Angel was gonna beat him to death."
"You're right." Mal replies. "You guys aren't playing that game."
"You didn't have to do anything?" Wash questions.
"She got a piercing." Kaylee answers for Faith.
"She did?" Mal questions. "Where?"
"Her right nipple." River answers. "We saw it when we were playing poker."
"Huh." Mal mutters. "Didn't it hurt?"
"Nope." Faith answers. "Kinda enjoyable."
"Oh." Mal mutters again.
"Yeah, that's bout all we did." Faith replies. "Oh, we did have a drinking game but nobody could play but me and R."
"Drinkin game?" Jayne questions. "Why can't we play?"
"You can't jump high enough." Faith answers.
"Ya played a jumpin drinkin game?" Kaylee asks.
"Yep." Faith replies. "One of us would get blindfolded and then spin around until we got really dizzy and then try to jump up to the second floor of the hotel. If you made it, you didn't have to take a drink. If you missed, you had to take a shot."
"You've got to be kiddin?" Mal mutters. "Ya didn't really do that."
"Yeah, we did." Faith replies. "Hellova time too. But Angel made us stop after Conner jumped through a wall."
"Did you guys have nothing to do?" Wash questions.
"Not really." Faith answers. "We patrolled, trained, patrolled, ate, patrolled, and slept. Had to get some fun in somewhere."
"Patrolled?" Simon questions.
"For vamps or demons." Faith replies. "Pretty much from sunset to sunrise."
"What, you just walked around looking for vampires and demons?" Mal asks sarcastically.
"Yeah." Faith replies. "That about covers it. Unless Cordy had a vision or there was an apocalypse coming."
"Apocalypse!" Wash yells. "You mean, like end of the world, apocalypse?"
"Is there any other kind?" Faith replies. "Happened a couple times a year; hell we just stopped one a couple days before I came here."
"Like real end of the world?" Wash asks.
"Yes, pilot-man." Faith answers. "World ending, everyone dying, life is over, apocalypse. Really not that big of a deal. Hell, it got to the point when we all just rolled our eyes when we heard one was coming."
Everyone but River stares at her.
"You guys are starting to give me a complex with all the staring." Faith mutters. "I'm gonna go to bed; see you in the morning." She stands up and leaves the mess, waving to Kaylee and River on her way out.
"I'm still stuck on the end of the world thing." Wash comments. "How is that possible?"
"Various demons felt that the world would be better without humans and the only way that can happen is if you end the world." River states. "Some just wanted hell on Earth and some were part of religious sects who's sole purpose was to bring about the end of the world."
"But…" Wash stutters, still shocked at the possibility of an apocalypse.
"Not important now." River interrupts. "Almost all demons have died out. All that remains are some weaker vampires and demons that managed to escape Earth-that-was. There's only a 1.385 percent chance of them attempting to end the universe." With that said, River stands up and leaves the mess.
"That was comforting." Wash mutters. "Now I'm going to have nightmares about the world ending."
"Come on, husband." Zoe says soothingly. "Let's go to bed. I'll protect you."
"That's what I love about you." Wash replies as he stands up and follows his wife out of the mess. "You take care of me."
"Simon, ya wanna go to bed or do ya got more tests to run?" Kaylee asks.
"No, let's go to bed." Simon stands up, pulls her chair out, and leads her out of the mess.
"I'm going to my bunk." Mal tells Jayne. "See ya in the mornin."
"Yeah, me too." Jayne agrees. He follows Mal out of the mess, flipping the light off as he goes.
-
"Something wrong, lamby toes?" Wash questions as they're slipping into bed.
"I was just about to ask you the same thing." Zoe answers. "You've seemed different since Miranda."
"Huh, I didn't think you really noticed." Wash replies. "I thought I hid it well."
"No, I was just giving you space." Zoe says as she moves her head to lie on his chest.
"Oh." Wash replies as he runs his hand up and down Zoe's back. "Faith had a different approach."
"Faith?" Zoe questions, tilting her head up to look at him.
"Yeah." Wash answers. "She asked me why I was brooding and then told me it made me look constipated."
Zoe smiles at that. "She's right." Zoe agrees. "You don't have the face for it." Wash attempts to glare at her; it only makes her laugh. "That it? She just asked why you were brooding?"
"She played my therapist." Wash replies.
"You talked to her?" Zoe asks, feeling a little upset that he talked to Faith but not to her.
"Yeah." Wash answers. "She was right. It was easier to talk to somebody who doesn't know me or the situation very well. Her opinions and advice were completely unbiased."
"Advise?"
"Life in the black is dangerous, we all know that." Wash replies. "We've all almost died before but nothing like what happened on the bridge. I should be dead; I know it, you know it. I just made me think about death, a lot. But she made me realize, we're all gonna die and there ain't a gorram thing we can do to stop it. Pretty much said I either had to accept that it's there and go after what I want or be all paranoid about it."
"Which are you gonna do?" Zoe questions, agreeing with Faith's advise. It was something she's tried to tell Wash, though she wasn't as blunt about it.
"I want to have a baby." Wash replies.
Zoe's jaw drops and her eyes go wide. "You what?"
"I want to have a baby, well actually I want you to have the baby." Wash answers.
"Are you sure?" Zoe questions. "What about all those worries you got, they gone?"
"No, they'll always be there." Wash replies. "Something else Faith made me realize; we could have a baby and it could die the next day or ten years down the road."
"That made you want to have a baby?" Zoe asks in shock.
"Yeah." Wash answers. "Because even if it happens, we'll of least had some time with it, loved it. I want to meet our child."
"So do I." Zoe agrees as she rolls on top of her husband. "So do I."
-
"What are they doin?" Mal questions Zoe as he and Jayne walk onto the catwalks over bay.
"Not sure." Zoe answers. "Kaylee said they been at it for bout an hour though."
"They're meditating." Simon answers. "Breathing exercises to clear the mind."
"Seems boring." Wash comments.
Faith and River are sitting on the bay floor, facing each other with they're legs crossed and they're eyes closed.
"You guys can come on down." Faith hollers up, her eyes still closed. "We're almost done."
Kaylee skips down the stairs and plops down on the ground next to them, the rest of the crew following at a more sedate pace.
"Why ya guys meditatin for?" Kaylee asks once they both open their eyes.
"Clear our minds." River answers.
"Yeah, R needs her mind completely cleared before she goes tryin to read mine." Faith agrees.
"Tries to what?" Mal questions.
"Read her mind." River answers. "We're going to work on being able to control the mind reading; getting in and out of memories and stuff on my own."
"How?" Simon questions.
"Don't really know." Faith answers. "We're pretty much going with the whole 'trial and error' method."
"That don't sound safe." Mal comments.
"What's the worse that could happen?" Faith questions. "It's not like she's gonna kill me with her brain."
Jayne's eyes go wide and River starts to giggle.
"What's so funny, R?" Faith questions.
"You can't kill someone with your brain." River replies. "Though it would be a good threat."
Jayne glares at her and she just smiles.
"Yeah, you should use it sometime." Faith agrees. "Alright, R, I'm gonna think of a memory, something of mine and you try to find it."
River nods and stares Faith in the eyes for the next few minutes.
"Don't think it's workin." Kaylee comments. "She ain't doin that weird channelin….."
"Cause I could do anything I want and instead I just pout and whine and feel the burden of slayerness." River says, mocking a voice they don't recognize.
"Guess ya're wrong." Jayne comments.
"I mean, I could be rich, I could be famous." River continues in the same voice. "I could have anything. Anyone. Even you, Spike. I could ride you at a slow gallop till your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up. I've got muscles you've never even dreamed up; I could squeeze you till you popped like warm champagne and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more. And you know why I won't? Because it's wrong."
River closes her eyes and shakes her head. "You've got a dirty mind." River tells Faith.
"I know." Faith agrees.
Jayne stares at River, his mouth hanging open, his eyes glazed over with lust.
"Jayne." Zoe whispers out the corner of her mouth. "Ya got a bit of drool."
Jayne closes his mouth and glances around the room to see if anybody else noticed. Luckily, everyone was too focused on River and Faith.
"What was that?" Mal questions.
"Faith's memory." River answers.
"Didn't sound like her." Kaylee comments.
"That's cause I was in someone else's body at the time." Faith replies.
"WHAT?" Simon squeaks. "That's not possible."
"A magical orb that switches souls." River states as she stands up. "When one person's hand touches another person's hand, with the orb between, their souls switch."
"Who's body was ya in?" Kaylee questions.
"B's." Faith answers. "Stole her body, slept with her boyfriend, and then Red figured it out and found a way to switch us back. I took off, got hired as an assassin, and then turned myself into the cops."
"Who'd ya kill?" Mal asks through clenched teeth.
"I was hired to kill Angel." Faith answers. "Didn't work out that way." Faith hates remembering that part of her life, when she wanted nothing but to die. She starts to stand up when she's lifted off the ground and thrown across the bay.
"RIVER!" Mal yells when he sees River toss Faith across the bay like a rag doll.
"You hear me?" River yells, her voice taking on Faith's accent. "You don't know what evil is!"
Faith flips up and looks at River pleadingly. "Don't R. Any memory but that."
River doesn't pay attention to her; just launches a roundhouse at Faith's head.
"I'm bad." River yells as she punches wildly at Faith. "Fight back!" River orders.
Faith blocks the next punch and backhands River across the face.
"What's goin on?" Kaylee whispers, watching them fight.
"Don't know." Zoe answers. "But I think River's seein another memory."
"I'm evil." River yells as she kicks at Faith's stomach. "I'm bad. I'm evil."
"R, stop." Faith orders as she blocks River's next punch.
"Do you hear me?" River yells, kicking at Faith again. "I'm bad, Angel. I'm bad."
"No, I won't do this." Faith yells back.
"I'm bad!" River yells as she hits Faith again. "You hear me? I'm bad. I'm bad."
Faith blocks the light punch aimed at her face and punches River again.
"Please. Angel, please, just do it." River yells as her fists harmlessly hit Faith's chest. "Angel, just do it. Please, just do it."
Faith pulls River to her and the smaller girl sobs against her chest. "Just kill me. Please, just kill me." River's fists drop to her sides as she sobs.
Simon starts to move towards them when Zoe grabs his arm. "Don't Simon." Zoe orders. "I think it's over."
River cries for a few more moments and then she suddenly stops. Pulling back, she looks up at Faith. "I'm sorry." River whispers. "I tried to get out but I couldn't. The memory was too strong."
"What was that?" Mal questions as he starts towards them.
"My memory." Faith answers. She pushes away from River and runs out of the bay.
"Mei-mei, are you okay?" Simon question worriedly.
"I'm fine." River whispers. "It's not me we should be worried about." She runs out of the bay, the rest of the crew behind her.
-
"It's so black." Faith comments when she hears River move behind her on the bridge. "That's how I feel; that's what I am."
River hears the rest of the crew move up behind her and walks over to sit down in the pilot's chair. Looking down at her hands, she whispers, "I was 16 the first time I killed somebody."
"What?" Simon and Mal yell.
"What are you talking about, R?" Faith questions as she turns to look at River.
"They started training us for combat once we reached 15." River starts. "The academy had an arena, it was underground and had seats surrounding, almost like a theater. They would monitor every function; heartbeat, pulse, blood flow, even our level of arousal. At first we would just fight each other but once they felt we reached a certain level, they would bring in operatives for us to fight."
"Operatives?" Mal manages to question.
"Yes, like the man you fought." River answers. "It was a month after my 16th birthday, a day after I sent my parents the first coded letter. I was fighting 3 of them; one had a sword, one had a staff, and one had an electric stick."
"What'd ya have?" Jayne growls.
"Nothing." River answers. "We didn't get weapons. The fight had been going on for 12 minutes and 34 seconds. I was starting to tire out and I guess my control was slipping. I didn't even realized I did it until the other two operatives stopped fighting."
"Did what?" Mal questions.
"I ran one operative through with his own sword, right through the chest." River answers. "They sent in some guards to carry the body out and then another operative came in and the fight began again."
"Ya kept fightin?" Kaylee gasps.
"I guess so." River replies. "I don't really remember. I only remember being told that I passed to the next level. The rest is blurry."
"You didn't do it on purpose." Faith comments.
"You didn't the first time either." River retorts.
"The next person I killed wasn't an accident." River continues. "He was one of my doctors, Dr. Price. He was the one who was performed all my brain surgeries. He was getting ready to run some tests and the guards didn't strap me down tight enough. I killed him with his own pen; ran it through his throat. Then I just sat back down and waited for them to start the tests. I didn't feel anything about killing him; not guilt, not pleasure, not anything."
"Mei-mei." Simon whispers.
"Don't blame ya." Jayne mutters. "I'd killed him too."
"Jayne's right." Mal agrees.
"When I shot the three men while you were rescuing the captain, that was just instinct." River states. "They were a danger and I eliminated them. Then came the bar fight."
"Yeah, I remember that one well." Jayne mutters.
"I know." River replies. "But it wasn't me. It was the slayer; it had complete control. That's what the message did; it released the slayer and pushed me back completely. I only had control at two different times and it was only for about a second."
"When?" Mal asks.
"The first time was when the decision came to either kill Jayne or knock him out." River answers. "The slayer wanted to…"
"Kill him?" Faith offers.
"Kill everyone." River corrects. "I got control back long enough to knock him out. Once he was no longer a threat, the slayer moved on."
"Why are you talking bout the slayer like it's separate?" Zoe questions. "I thought it was a part of you."
"The slayer is inside of us." Faith answers. "It's a part of who we are but it is separate."
"So it can be removed?" Simon questions hopefully.
"Sure." Faith answers. Simon's eyes go wide with excitement. "When we die. Then it moves on the next slayer."
"Oh." Simon mutters.
"Think of it almost like being a demon with a soul." Faith answers. "The slayer gives us the abilities, the strength but we control it. But if they found a way to let the slayer have control, all it would want to do is fight and kill."
"Yeah." River agrees.
"When was the second time?" Mal questions.
"When I didn't pull the trigger." River answers. "The slit second I hesitated before shooting you, giving Simon enough time to stop me."
"Oh." Mal mutters.
"Why are you telling us this now?" Simon questions. "I've tried to get you to talk about the academy since we got on Serenity but you never would."
"It wasn't relevant then." River answers. "It is now."
"Why?" Mal questions.
River doesn't answer him; instead she stands up to move in front of Faith. "If your past makes you nothing but a murderer then so does mine."
"It ain't that simple." Faith argues.
"Yes, it is." River retorts. "We've both betrayed our calling by killing humans. But I refuse to let it end there. I am more than that and so are you. I won't be known as only a failed government experiment. You can't let yourself be known only as the 'rogue slayer'."
Faith stares at River before nodding heavily. "The road to redemption is a rocky path." Faith murmurs with a slight smirk.
"Think we'll make it?" River questions.
"Think we might."
-