First of all, I have some things to say. I want to extend the biggest thanks of my life to those of you who still have some faith in me and will continue to read and review my story. It means so much to me that you'll all stick with me. No seriously. You have no idea. This is one of my favorite stories I've written—hands down. This is the story of mine that I want edited and published someday. But, to those who reviewed negatively and said you would not be reading and reviewing from now on, I have to say I am deeply saddened.
Since you won't be here to read this, as you say, I'll say some things about you people. And I'll have you know, I hate the phrase "you people", but look, I just used it. Surprising, isn't it? Well I can be surprising sometimes. Like with this story, for example. I do have to say, though, you all should have seen it coming. Like I've said before, read the long summary in the first chapter. It says, and I quote: "But one night Leo came home and Piper didn't. Everyone knew what happened and everyone knew who did it. Everyone. Leo was out for blood."
Now for a couple of personal responses…
To OTHCharmedHPFreak, you have no idea how much I wanted to cuss you out as you did me, however short and bittersweet the review was. But no, I was the better person, and I think you got (and probably read then saved and printed off to show your friends) the personal message I sent you. I'll publicize the review you sent me. Fuck u. I'm done with this story. That's copied right off the review page. First of all, "u" does not make "you". I suggest that if you would like to pursue your career of negative reviewing and sudden loss-of-faith in authors, you spell each word out. If there's one thing that I hate, it's people who cuss out and criticize others in writing and abbreviate every other word and accomplish nothing but make themselves look bad and give the writer a good laugh with their friends—and believe me, I had a great laugh with a good deal of my friends. I'm really upset that you lost faith in me so quickly when I clearly stated that Piper would not be gone, that the story wasn't over, and that these were my intentions from the beginning.
That's true, people, when I started this story (which, might I add, was my very first on my first laptop) in Tennessee on vacation two summers ago, I had every intention of killing Piper in the 20th chapter, which was going to be called "That Fateful Night" until I came up with "Up in Flames".
Also, to Pissed Off!, you really hurt me. I'm sorry that I ruined your day, and that your day revolved around nothing but reading my chapter of Payback, as it seems. I don't think the entire thing was sick, per se, in fact I like to refer to it as a plot twist. I'm equally shocked as I am hurt that you would think I would continue this allegedly sick pattern in my other stories. Even my finished ones? Wowie. I'm sorry that you're disgruntled. I'm also sorry that you would lose faith in me so quickly, if, as you stated, you "used to" love all my other stories. I'm sorry that this one little chapter, plot twist, sick thing—call it as you will—ruined your faith in all of my stories. I hope you'll come around someday and step outside of the box, I really do. Also, thank you for the kudos on Leo's handling of things. I thought I did a nice job, too.
And again, thank you to you great people who decided to stick with me! Thank you so much! I know nobody likes harsh reviews, and actually these were the first really mean things I've received. At first I was hurt. Then I laughed. Then I got a little upset. When I was finished, I sat down and wrote these author notes, then finished the chapter, and posted it all for you guys. Thank you and please R&R.
Chapter 22 - Rainin' On Me
Adam tried to convince Leo to take a few days off of work. Maybe a couple of week. Leo refused each time, saying he had a job to do, he had to find Dan.
But Dan was harder to find that anyone thought. Everyone knew it was him, though no one knew how he had gotten so close to plant the bomb. Ron and his partner Jenny went by the apartment building Dan was to stay at to raid it for evidence. They found nothing…but a cell phone.
"Okay, so we checked the records on this phone with Piper's cell records, just on a hunch…" Ron was explaining to Leo and Adam. He tried to sound as professional as possible, because he didn't want to take his time in speaking and make it harder for Leo. They were in Leo's office at the station with the door wide open, allowing everyone to hear.
"And?" Adam urged.
Ron sighed. "He'd been calling her."
Leo looked up. "He what?"
Ron nodded. "He was calling her for about two weeks before…Um…"
"Before he killed her," Leo finished.
Ron stood still, shocked. He didn't expect Leo to be so forward. "Well…It seemed he had a recording setting on his cell, and he actually recorded a conversation with Piper. We don't know why yet, maybe it was just his fixation with her that made him—"
"Can we hear it?"
"Leo, I don't think—"
"Ron. I want to hear it."
Ron looked at his younger brother. After a second, he nodded, pulled the cell phone out, and found the recorded conversation. He pressed Play, and after a second of static, they heard Piper's voice.
"Hello?"
Leo caught his breath. He half-expected to look up and see her in the doorway. He hadn't heard her voice in two days. He expected it would be the last time he'd ever hear it. He sighed quietly, laid his head on his desk in his arms. This was too much to take already, and he'd barely even heard a two-syllable word from her. It was like he was going to implode.
"Miss Halliwell…"
"Please, no. I'm not ready. I don't have anything to give you…" Piper immediately said.
There was a soft chuckle on the other line. "Quite the contrary, Miss Halliwell."
"Stop calling me that." Her voice was strong and hard.
"You haven't told your husband about our little chats, have you?" No answer. Have you? Answer me."
"…No."
Dan sighed. "It's really too bad, you know. I told you to tell them about me. I told you everything; where to find me, how to contact me. Why didn't you go to your husband with the information?" He spoke slowly, sure of every word.
"Be—Because, you'll hurt him."
"I like the way you think. You're right, I will. But would you rather I hurt you? I know neither of us want that to happen." Again, no response. "Okay, I'll make you a deal…Are you listening?"
"…Yes." Her once strong voice was trembling now. Leo could envision her shaking. Her voice showed her fear.
"Good…Okay, here are your choices…"
"Please…" They could barely heard the word.
"First, you could tell your husband about our…chats. You could give him and his friends the information I gave you, and have them come find me. You know I'll be ready for them. Maybe something bad could happen to them…Is it worth the risk?"
Piper said some words that were incoherent. They could almost hear her crying in the background.
"Or second…You could give me your life…in trade for your husband's." Dan paused to hear Piper's sharp intake of breath. He had to be enjoying himself. "Those are your two choices. Take one. Make a choice. Do you tell your husband what I've told you? Do you go to him and let him come after me? Do you risk his life? Or do you give your own?"
"He could bring backup." She was trying to sound strong, fighting to stay sane. Leo could hear it. It tore him apart.
"Do you honestly think that will make a difference? I have plans either way. You have to make a choice. You have one week."
From there, the line went dead. Leo couldn't breathe.
"She sacrificed herself…so that I could live?" he asked in disbelief. "Why did she…How—"
Ron touched his brother's arm. He could feel his muscles flickering. "Leo, I know this is a lot to take in right now, but—"
Leo ripped away and pushed out from the desk he was sitting at. "No!" he yelled. "This isn't right! It isn't fair! Why didn't she tell me? Why didn't she tell me—Why the fuck didn't you tell me?" He yelled the last sentence right at the ceiling, directing them to his wife. "She should have told me…She—I can't believe this. How could she—She should have told me." He crumpled back down into his desk. This was too much to handle.
That was enough for the day.
The funeral.
He hadn't thought about it at all. Luckily Piper's sisters had taken care of the arrangements. They told him where to be and when. He didn't want to go. He couldn't bring himself to do it.
So his brothers brought him. They put him in the back of Jake's truck and drove him to the cemetery. There was a considerable number of people there: his parents, her father and sisters, friends and family, their old mutual friend Kyle. A few workers from Piper's nightclub P3 showed up, as well as some of Leo's closer friends from work (Adam, Cortez, Jenny, Jaime, Amy).
There hadn't been a visitation, because there hadn't been much of a body to visit. The coffin was empty and the day was rainy, not just with tears. Leo barely heard the priest speaking his empty words. He stared at the ground and listened to everyone around him.
Prue and Phoebe were crying quietly a few feet away across from him. He glanced up to see Victor holding his daughters. He hadn't talked to Victor since he'd come by to apologize for starting a fight with him. Behind him, Leo even heard his mother crying. His father's hand was on his arm, almost holding him up. He watched the priest finish more than he heard. He was concentrating on not crying. He'd cried enough in the past few days, and this was Day Four since…
The priest stepped back and the coffin was lowered into the deep hole in the ground. Leo saw Prue sob and clutch her sister's arm, he felt Victor's glare on him. He watched everyone go up one by one and say their very last goodbyes. Prue and Phoebe lingered longer than anyone, crying and repeating the phrase "I love you" more times than either could count.
And then everyone was gone. Except for Victor, Prue, Phoebe, Jake, and Leo. Jake was taking Leo home and Prue, Phoebe, and Victor had all come together. None of them wanted to leave. Not just yet.
Leo hadn't gone up. He'd been the only one not to say goodbye. He wasn't ready to, not just yet. He was too scared to do it. Prue and Phoebe were about to leave with Victor and had come up to say goodbye. The sky hadn't dropped any rain yet and they wanted to leave before it did. Well, that and they didn't want to stay. It was too hard.
Phoebe was the first to give Leo a hug. "I love you," she told him sincerely. "And you're still our brother, so come by sometime. I want you to keep us up on the investigation, okay? You find Dan and kill him for what he's done."
Leo nodded. Phoebe calling him her brother brought tears to his eyes. She backed out and made her way to the car as Prue approached him. They exchanged the "I love you's" with little effort, and after a long embrace and a few tears, Prue joined her sister by the car.
Leo looked up to see Victor staring him down. The look in the broken father's face must have matched his own. Neither moved. "I'm sorry," Leo said.
"You should be."
Leo's eyes glinted with anger. He couldn't believe this. Piper was dead and buried just a few feet away, and Victor wanted to go pointing the blame now? "Listen, I don't want to get into this…" he tried to get out of the pending fight easily, for everyone's sakes.
"I bet. I can't believe you'd let this happen."
Okay. That was it. There was no getting out of it now. How dare he say something like that. "What are you saying? Do you think I wanted this?" he asked roughly, staring the older man down.
"Well you sure didn't do a damn thing about it!"
That set Leo off, and he stepped forward. "I did everything I could! I tried to get her into Witness Protection—She refused. I sent officers with her everywhere she went—He shot Cortez! I'm not a mind reader, I didn't know that he was contacting her! How was I supposed to know?"
"You were supposed to protect her, that was your job! You couldn't protect her from him once and now look where she is! My daughter! My baby girl!"
Leo gave a half-assed gesture in the air toward each person he spoke about. "Your daughter, their sister—my wife! Everything to everybody, and now she's dead and I can't help you with that, Victor! You want to tell me that I failed? Don't waste your breath, because I garun-fuckin'-tee you that I'm already killing myself about it more than you want to kill me right now! I already know I failed, I was right there on the fucking scene of the crime! I watched her car burn! And she's dead—She's dead and I failed! Are you happy now?"
Jake had been desperately trying to pry Leo away from Victor's face., for fear of a physical fight breaking out. Prue and Phoebe were doing the same with their father. They managed to get the two apart as they yelled back and forth at each other. It was crystal clear that Leo blamed himself, and that Victor blamed him as well.
Jake managed to fight Leo into his truck, and all but threw him into the passenger seat. He nodded to Prue and Phoebe that he would take care of Leo, and drove him away from the cemetery. He needed to get away, that was for sure.
"What the hell was that?" he scolded his older brother, who stared out the front window almost religiously. He had no intentions of moving his eyes, or any muscle in his body, for that matter. When a sigh came from the other side of the car and Jake glanced over to see his older brother fighting tears, he closed his eyes briefly. "You don't need anymore enemies, Leo."
Jake left it at that.
Two days. Two, empty, horrifyingly hollow, nothingness days. Leo was not allowed to work on the case, which was officially being called a murder. His brother Ron and Ron's partner Jenny took the case as investigators, and Leo had practically begged for them to let him help. But Ron had turned him down, told him to go home, get some sleep. He promised to keep Leo updated and, if they did find Dan—when, when they found Dan…—Leo would be able to have the honors of the arrest.
So Leo went home.
And he drank.
He passed out from drinking so much, and when he woke on the couch in his living room—his, not theirs anymore—he was in such an uncomfortable position that when he tried to adjust, he fell off the couch and landed on Yukon. He stared at the ceiling. He forced back tears and lost.
At some point, he made it back onto the couch and fell asleep. When he finally woke hours later, he groaned. His head hurt. He rubbed his sore eyes and barely opened them. Somebody was in his house, he could sense it. He opened his eyes and looked up, then stopped breathing.
Piper. Piper?
But yes, there she was, standing right before him! He reached out, and she stepped back. There she was, in all her beauty and glory, smiling down at him. He could almost—almost—touch her hair…
"Piper…" he muttered.
She knelt down beside the couch, dark hair falling over her shoulder. "Leo…" she sighed, reaching up to run the back of her hand down his face.
He wanted to die. He wanted to cry. He wanted to hold her. He couldn't. "I'm sorry," he was saying. "I'm sorry—I'm so sorry…"
She shook her head. Worry clouded her features and she helped him to sit upright on the couch. "No…No, don't be sorry…"
As soon as she had touched his arm, he knew she was real. She had to be real. It didn't matter than they had buried her earlier that day, she was standing real and true before him. He pulled her down beside him and held her. "How could you leave me?" he whispered.
She kissed him once, held him to her. "I'm sorry," she whispered back. "I'm sorry I had to leave…It was just…It was time."
He shook his head. "No, not time…"
She nodded and kissed him again. "You have a job to do, okay? You have to go find Dan. Okay? This is your job now."
He shook his head again. "I can't."
"Yes you can. You have to." Another kiss. "I have to go. I can't stay. I'll watch over you, I promise." She started to move away.
He grappled for her, but she was already fading in his arms. Where was she going, how could she leave now? "No! No, please don't go—Please—Not again, I can't lose you again."
"You won't. I promise, I'll be right here, okay? Right here. I'll always be watching over you, I swear." She kissed him once, twice. "I love you."
He could feel tears, hot behind his eyes. He couldn't handle losing her again. "I love you. Oh, God, I love you, I love you so much…" He kissed her one last time, deeply, desperate, and felt her fade away.
She was gone. She was gone, and he was alone again. Forever.
Thunder boomed outside and rain started. Seconds later it picked up, and soon it was raining hard. He stood on shaky legs and walked to the front door. He opened the door and stepped outside into the rain. Instantly, he was soaking wet, but he didn't mind. Maybe the rain could wash away his tears.
Adam hadn't let Leo into the station. He didn't want Leo to know all the details about the case, which was getting colder by the day. Dan was gone and left only a few short leads that ended in nothing. The evidence that they did have was enough to convict, if only they had someone to convict.
Leo drank a lot. He spent his nights at Hell's Haven, which had become his have. He couldn't get a handle on anything. If he drank, then he didn't cry. If he drank, he would pass out eventually and not have to think about Piper. Drinking helped. It helped a lot.
His brothers usually got him to come home. He didn't like it at home. Home was where he was reminded of Piper. Everywhere was where he was reminded of Piper. He would stare at the ceiling, because nothing about a ceiling made him think of Piper. He couldn't bear it anymore. He'd felt pain before, but this was unbelievable. He couldn't breathe.
Unless he drank.
So he drank.
And Ron and Jake came by Hell's Haven and tried to take him home. It became something of a nightly activity. A week after Piper's death, they found Leo at the bar again. They made a beeline for their brother, who was in a drunken stupor.
"Come on…Let's get you outta here." Ron pulled Leo up from the stool he'd been sitting at and nearly falling out of.
Leo pushed his brother away and sat back down. "I'm not going anywhere."
"The hell you aren't," Jake argued. "You're coming with us. Let's go."
"No." Leo stood on shaky legs that were bound to give out any second.
"Damn it, Leo, do you think Piper would let you do this to yourself?" Jake snapped.
Leo's eyes flashed with anger. "I wouldn't have a reason to be here if Piper were here!"
"Then stop taking it out on yourself!"
"Jake…" Ron warned.
"No. No, I won't let him do this." Jacob turned to his brother. "If you want to sit around and feel sorry for yourself, save it for a time when you actually do something wrong. 'Til then, you've got a job to do."
"Just leave," Leo said, shrugging his brother's hand off of his shoulder.
"Not without you."
"Come on, you can stay at my place tonight," Ron said.
Leo shook his head. "I need to go somewhere."
"Yeah—Home," Jake said.
"No." Leo shook his head again. "Where're my keys?" He glanced around the bar counter, turning in a circle. Jake spotted the keys to Leo's truck on the counter and grabbed them. Leo turned around. "Gimme 'em."
"No. You're not driving anywhere. You're drunk."
Leo knew that full well. "Gimme 'em," he repeated.
Jake put the keys in his pocket so Leo couldn't get them. "You're not getting them from me, Leo. You can't drive."
"Then take me somewhere."
"Where?"
"The cemetery. I want to go to the cemetery." He nodded.
Ron and Jake exchanged a glance. They both nodded solemnly.
Leo got out of the car and looked around. He sighed deeply. He'd ridden with the window down and his head out the entire way there, and the fresh air had sobered him up.
That was the problem, though…That wasn't what he wanted.
The cemetery wasn't locked. Leo's brothers trailed behind him. They walked up the path in the dark; Leo knew exactly where he was going.
At the spot where the path turned off toward her grave, Leo stopped. He turned around to face Jacob and Ron. "You can go now."
"Are you sure?" Ron asked.
Leo nodded a little. "I'll be fine. I can walk to Mom and Dad's place from here. It's just three blocks."
"I'll call them and tell them you'll be down there in a little while, then."
"…Thanks…"
"Call us if you need something. I'll leave my cell on."
"Okay."
Leo was quiet for a few seconds, staring at Jake and Ron. Jake stepped forward and hugged Leo, patting his back. "Love you, Man."
"Love you, too."
Jake stepped back and Ron hugged Leo. "Don't do anything stupid. Stay with Mom and Dad tonight."
"I will."
Jake and Ron left their brother in the cemetery. Leo looked up when he heard a bell tower on the top of a nearby church strike one. One o'clock in the morning, and he was alone at a cemetery. Ha.
He didn't need to think about where to go; his feet guided him effortlessly. He stood in front of her grave for a few silent minutes…
It felt like hours.
He found himself whispering things. Talking to the stone. Talking to her. He found himself confessing everything.
"I'm so sorry…" he whispered. "It was my fault. I should have made sure he stayed away. I should have watched you better…You were right. You said he'd come…I didn't want to listen to you. I didn't want to believe it. But you were right…" He shook his head.
"I should have just killed him when I first had the chance…" He shook his head again. "I should have…I'm sorry…Just know this: I'll avenge you. He won't live this time, I swear…"
He sighed.
"I'm afraid, Piper…" he said quietly, a tear sliding down his cheek. "I'm afraid…I've never known a good moment without you, and now I have a lifetime alone…I thought I could keep you forever…I'm afraid of being alone. Of being without you. I'm afraid I'll forget you. I'll forget memories that you bring out, the lifestyle that you created, the things you said, what you did, how you looked. I'm terrified. I don't want to forget."
More tears were coming now. He couldn't fight them. There was no use. It was pointless. He had the right to cry; they'd been married for nearly two decades, friends since age seven.
"But I don't want to remember, either…But I'd rather be haunted with your memory every moment of every day than forget you…But I don't think I can handle it, Piper…It's too much. It hurts…Everything…Everything hurts. Everything I see, everything I do…It reminds me of you. Little things, big things…Your black bag in the back of the car…Some sort of food you kept in the freezer as leftovers…Everything.
"I'm scared, Piper…I need you. I can't live without you, I don't know how…I've never tried, I've never needed to. I've always had you…I thought I always would.
"I love you. That's all I can promise, is my love. I'll never stop loving you. I swear."
At 2:30AM, Leo showed up at his parents' door. He knocked on it a few times and waited on the front porch. Emily opened the door. Her face immediately softened. She wrapped her arms around her son and pulled him inside the house.
He'd run out of tears for the night and was empty inside. Cold. His head hurt. His stomach hurt. His heart hurt. He was nauseas and queasy and felt like throwing up. Most of all, he felt like dying.
Emily took him to the couch, then brought him a glass of water. He sipped it absentmindedly, just staring at the wall.
"You want a bed or do you just want to sleep on the couch?" Emily asked her son. Leo was still staring at the wall. His head shook slightly but he didn't give a clear answer. "Well…I guess it doesn't matter…You can choose whichever you want…" Emily sighed, not sure of what to say next. "Do you want to be alone, or do you want me to stay?"
Leo shook his head again.
"I'll go, then?" Emily stood up and started to walk away.
"Thanks for letting me stay."
Emily turned and put her hand on Leo's shoulder. She moved to face him. "Anytime, Son. You know you're always welcome here." With that, she left him alone with his thoughts.
Not really sure of what to do next, Leo glanced around the room. He spotted a radio beside him and shrugged. He turned it on, keeping the volume low. The voice of a radio announcer sounded. "Okay, this is a fairly new one from Alan Jackson. Here it is—Monday Morning Church."
You left your Bible on the dresser
So I put it in the drawer
'Cause I can't seem to talk to God without yelling anymore
And when I sit at your piano
I can almost hear those hymns
The keys are just collecting dust
But I can't close the lid
You left my heart as empty
As a Monday morning church
It used to be so full of faith and now it only hurts
And I can hear the devil whisper
"Things are only getting worse"
You left my heart as empty
As a Monday morning church
The preacher came by Sunday
Said he missed me at the service
He told me Jesus loves me
But I'm not sure I deserve it
'Cause the faithful man that you loved
Is nowhere to be found
Since they took all that he believed
And laid it in the ground
You left my heart as empty
As a Monday morning church
It used to be so full of faith and now it only hurts
And I can hear the devil whisper
"Things are only getting worse"
You left my heart as empty
As a Monday morning church
I still believe in Heaven
And I'm sure you've made it there
But as for me without your love, girl
I don't have a prayer
You left my heart as empty
As a Monday morning church
It used to be so full of faith and now it only hurts
And I can heart the devil whisper
"Things are only getting worse"
You left my heart as empty
As a Monday morning church
You left your Bible on the dresser
So I put it in the drawer
The song was Monday Morning Church by Alan Jackson. A really great song, with a beautiful video that made me cry. Very emotional. He's so great. I am such a country girl...lol
These chapters are emotional and sad, I know...I hope nobody cried...I'm trying to write at my best for this story, I want to be very proud of it when I'm finished. I know I will be, as long as you guys are all proud to have read it! (tell your friends - lol!)
Also, one last thing...Okay two things:
a) I'm sorry I ranted so long at the top of the page...I was really upset. Sometimes I have upset moments.
b) Payback and Love is a Myth are both currently under a revise! Yay! Don't worry about Payback, the plot won't change, just a few smaller things that no one really notices, just things that make the story flow a little smoother. When I'm finished it will be a better story, and I'll post the new chapters over the old ones. Don't worry, though, it won't be major changes, honest. As for Myth, it will be changed almost completely...I probably won't repost it on Fanfiction, but I won't take down what I have now. If I do repost it sometime, it will be on my Fictonpress account, the url to which is on my profile page. Thanks much!
Hope you liked. :-)