A/N: Thanks for the reviews!

Disclaimer: I do not own The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.

Catch me as I fall
Say you're here and it's all over now
Speaking to the atmosphere
No one's here and I fall into myself
This truth drives me
Into madness
I know I can stop the pain
If I will it all away

-Evanescence;"Whisper"

Carey heard him crying when she walked into the suite. She rested the bag of groceries on the kitchen counter and stood outside the bedroom door. Her hand hovered above the doorknob and she closed her eyes briefly before turning it.

Cautiously peering inside she saw him lying face down on his bed; sobbing into a pillow and hands gripping the comforter in a white-knuckled hold. Sighing she sunk down onto the bed and gently stroked his hair.

"Cody?" she said softly and he gave a great sniff, the cries halting instantly. "You okay, baby?"
He shook his head in the pillow, not saying anything.

Carey massaged her temple before replying, feeling a faint headache creeping in. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Another shake of his head.

"Is it about Zack?" Carey asked carefully.

Cody tensed. "It's about everything!" he shouted, springing up from the bed and pushing away from her. His nose was red, and dry blood caked his skin. His blue eyes were shadowed and baggy, his lip was slightly swollen, and his face was pale.

"Cody-," Carey gaped at him, heart sinking at the sight of her son. "What happened?"

Cody glared at her, but she sensed that he was not angry with her, but more angry at the world in general, which was really nothing all that new.

"Everything!" he burst out. "It's about stupid Zack liking dad better than us and these frickin' classes I don't have time to think about because Patrick is too busy being a dick and Tapeworm and I have to go all the way around the school 'cuz if we don't he'll find us and beat us up like he did after school today and-and-," he couldn't seem to think of more things to say, so he folded his arms and sighed shortly in frustration, folding his arms and narrowing his eyes at the carpet.

Carey was left speechless. "Patrick?" she repeated breathlessly. "He's been beating you up?" Cody nodded numbly. "Why?"

"Because he's mad at Zack," said Cody bitterly. "Because of the d-," he stopped, suddenly remembering that his mom didn't know anything about Patrick's involvement in Zack's brief spell with drugs and, still harboring a little loyalty left towards his brother, he didn't want to be the one to tell her. "Just because."

"And he's…Taking it out on you?"

Cody laughed angrily. "Yeah, hilarious, isn't it? Just peachy." He kicked at the ground. "I mean, hey, I look like Zack, and I sound like Zack so I'm close enough, right?" Tears spilled down his cheeks again and he wiped them away furiously.

Carey closed her eyes for a moment. "This is just—just so wrong," she said softly. "What is wrong with schools these days? Drugs and bullies and kids killing themselves…None of this ever happened when I was in high school."

Cody chose not to answer.

"Well, I'm," Carey sniffed and cleared her throat, trying to sound strong. Cody didn't buy it, but he was sensitive so he pretended to. "I'm going to get this straightened out, Cody, don't worry."

Cody looked at her alarm. "No!" he cried. "No, mom, you can't do that!" she looked at him in bewilderment.

"Why ever not, Cody? This doesn't have to happen—this shouldn't happen!"

"Just…Mom, please," Cody's tone turned to a begging. "I can-I can deal with this, okay, I was being over dramatic and I wasn't thinking…I can handle it."

But Carey's mind was set. "No," she said firmly. "I almost lost Zack, and I'm not going to lose you, too," she sighed and held out her arms. "Come here," she said softly and he accepted her hug, gently returning it.

"Can you make it an anonymous complaint?"

Kurt looked over the table at his son. Their dinner consisted of ham sandwiches and microwavable rice, tall glasses filled with ice water and chocolate chip cookies waiting for dessert.

"So," Kurt said, chewing thoughtfully on the bread. "Cody wants you to go back to Boston, but you don't think you're ready?"
Zack gulped down more water than was intelligent and had to wait a moment before answering. "No," he said. "He doesn't want me to come back. Well," Zack looked at his fork and considered the matter. "He kinda does. It's sorta hard to tell."

"Meaning…?" Kurt looked at his son for an explanation.

Zack shrugged. "It's like, he kind of hints at it without meaning to. Like, his email last night said that if I wasn't gonna come back, that I should take my old basketball trophies," he left out the part about being dubbed a liar.

"So, you think he's too…I don't know, too proud to ask you to come back?"

Again, Zack shrugged. "Yeah, but, see, being proud and all that; that's not Cody. He's not like that. If he wanted me to come back to Boston he'd just tell me. In that geeky-Cody kind of way," Zack smiled a little.

Kurt returned the expression before swallowing another bite of the sandwich. "And have you thought that maybe he's changed since you saw him last?" He swallowed. "It's been nine months, after all."

Zack stared at his food solemnly. "Changed?" he echoed quietly. "I don't—do you think he has? Changed, or whatever?"

Kurt shrugged. "I don't know what to think, Zack, I haven't talked to him at all, and from what I could gather from the conversation with Carey this morning, neither have you."

Zack looked up. "You talked to mom?"

Kurt raised a brow. "Yeah, Zack, parents do that sometimes. Talk to each other." He chewed the statement over with his rice. "And," he began, mouth full. "We talked about stuff."

"What stuff?" Zack wanted to know, suddenly not interested in dinner.

Kurt hesitated. "Me defending myself, stuff. But hey, that's nothing new." He sounded bitter and Zack chose to ignore the friction between his mother and father.

"What does-does mom think you're kidnapping me, or something?"
Kurt laughed shortly. "Something like that."

Zack sighed and pushed his plate forward. "I don't know," he said, looking out the little window. "But I'm not ready to go back."

Kurt looked at his son closely. "Not ready?" he said slowly, placing the fork down on the plastic plate. "Or not willing?"
Zack groaned. "Same thing," he protested, looking desperately at his father suddenly. "Wait, you're-you're not gonna make me leave, are you?"

"Of course not, Zack, I'm not 'making' you do anything. Like in our talk, that doesn't work for you."

"Right," Zack agreed, nodding. "Right, yeah, no, it doesn't. So I'll choose when I'm ready. It's my call when I go back to Boston."

"You're call," Kurt assured him calmly.

Zack nodded again, firmly. "Okay." He stood from the table. "I'm gonna go do my homework." And he started for the stairs.

"And hey, Zack!"

Zack stopped and turned to look at his father.

Kurt waved an arm, motioning around the kitchen. "As long as you need to be here, you're welcome here. Okay? My home will always be your home, too." Zack grinned sincerely and Kurt smiled. "But if you're using Connecticut and me as some sort of-I don't know, like some sort of hideout, I just want you to know that you're going to hurt your brother, and you may already have. And if you hurt Cody, Zack, you're hurting yourself as well. And I sure didn't bring you here to hurt yourself any more."

Zack stared at his father for a long time. "I know," he said. "I just…I'm not sure I'm ready. And I want to be the one who decides when I am. I'm sixteen; I'm not a little kid anymore."

Kurt nodded. "I know you're not."

"Okay," said Zack. "Then let me make my own choice."

That night Cody lay in bed, in a room where he was alone. Always alone. Nine months and counting. Counting the days until Zack came back. Zack: his big brother, his protector, and in more ways than one his hero.

But Zack wasn't here.

Zack didn't want to be here.

Zack had found a new life. And as happy Cody was for his brother, as glad as he was that Zack had overcome his failures, he wasn't the same without him.

He wasn't Cody without him.

Even if he still looked the same.

Mirrors had a tendency to lie.

That night Zack lay in bed, in a room where he was alone. Always alone. Nine months and counting. Counting the days until he made some unconscious decision to go back. Counting the days until he was ready again. Ready to face Boston, his old friends, his mother, Cody…

But Cody didn't want him to go back.

Or did he?

Zack didn't know. He was confused and happy and so thrilled to have found a place where he finally felt at home. To have found friends who liked him for him, not for what he did with them.

But still…Zack wasn't the same without Cody.

They were twins. It was a fact. They'd grown up together, and though Zack may be as happy as he could be in Hunter, Connecticut, there was something dreadfully and annoyingly missing.

His brother.

Groaning, his turned over and away from the mirror across from his bed.

To Be Continued

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