Is this some sort of conspiracy? Did someone set you up for this? I can't believe you'd actually review voluntarily the way you do. Is my sister behind this? Although I do not allow her to read my stories, she doesn't even know where to find them, you rock, thanks so much!

Due to the fact that I live in Germany, I didn't see the Bedford diaries, I watched it on the net though, I'm still not so sure what to think about it, but Milo surely is hot, ain´t he. I mean they started airing Gilmore Girls in 2004 over here, meaning, they will probably air BD around 2009… lol and I hope that by then I will be over my obsession!

Bittersweetbloodbaby: Í´m honored that you´re honored that I´m honored ...lol

Anyhow, I'm glad you liked the last chapter I didn't feel so satisfied with the sex scene, but well.

Here we go on:

Rory's POV:

Miserable. If someone was to look it up in a dictionary, any dictionary, they'd probably find my picture next to it. Miserable: sleep for hours, plug out the phone and gain twenty pounds by inhaling junk food, clog your arteries by simply eating too much chocolate and shut out your best friend!

I actually did plug out the phone, since it wouldn't stop ringing; I had told my mom to call me on my cell since my home line wasn't working. I didn't tell her about the latest events, fearing that she might blame herself. Blaming herself for not having taught me how to cope with the closeness that falling for someone brought along. Blaming herself for not having raised me to be the person she wanted me to be; strong, confident, to be able to be loved and most importantly to be able to love back. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean that I was in love with Jess; he just made me feel something I haven't felt before. Not with Dean, my first perfect boyfriend, not with Todd, the guy I had dated briefly for a couple of months in my freshman year, not Dean again, when I had decided to break up his marriage, when I had lost my virginity to him, not Logan, who actually had taught me to be reckless, wild, but he never made me feel the way Jess had succeeded to make me feel when he simply looked at me.

I was lying in my bed when Lane entered my bedroom. She sat down next to me and carefully asked:

"Did you unplug the phone? " I nodded, sniffling, but at the same time I tried to keep my composure. I knew how to fool anyone, Rory Gilmore, happy kid, the smile never leaving her face, intelligent, not the one to mess with people's minds! My mind was racing: Rory Gilmore, failure, scared to commit, scared to get hurt, so what does she do? She hurts people before they get the chance to hurt her.

I nodded and turned away from Lane since I knew she would look right through me; she'd actually get my demons to start a revolution, she would made me confess.

Lane sighed and got up, walking over to the door.

"Fine, you don't wanna talk about it, okay, but just so you know, I live here, too, people could actually try to call me." Great job, I succeeded to piss off Lane.

I wrapped the blanket around me exhausted.

The telephone had been ringing ten times that very day. I finally shut out the world around me and drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt odd. To be more specific, the apartment felt odd. No sounds, no music, not the smell of coffee hanging in the air. I sighed and got up, making my way over to the kitchen. I found a small note with Lane's neat handwriting:

I stayed at Dave's. The fridge is empty; it's your turn to do the grocery shopping.

Lane

P.S.: you can't run forever!

I again sighed, cursing under my breath silently and went to make myself some coffee.

When I finally took the first sip, I realized that even the coffee tasted odd.

I went to my room and started studying. I had abandoned my studies in the last days and I decided to get most of the work done, it wasn't that I had anything else to do.

The telephone started ringing, a first for today and I put on my headphones and listened to the Strokes singing about the one thing that was on my mind: My feelings are more important than yours….Were they?

I heard the phone ringing once again, this time I was able to block it out, and specifically the person I thought might be on the other end.

I heard Lane enter the apartment, going in her room and coming out not a second after.

The phone started ringing again and suddenly I jumped up, knocking the cup of coffee down on the floor. My chair fell behind me as I rushed into the common room.

"DONT PICK IT UP, PLEASE LANE!" I actually screamed, being out of breath. Lane jumped back startled and let the phone fall back in its cradle. She looked at me with wide eyes and then directed her attention to the phone that was still ringing; I stared at it as well, begging it to shut the fuck up. As if the person had heard me, the annoying noise suddenly stopped, the sudden silence bugged me at once and I looked down at my hands, not knowing what to say. Lane came over to me, where I was standing and stopped right in front of me. I felt a salty liquid on my lips, I hadn't noticed that I had started crying, maybe, I silently contemplated I hadn't stopped altogether.

I wiped my eyes, trying to cover the tears that were now leaving wet trails on my cheeks.

"Rory?" Lane bended her knees so she could look me in the eye, I wouldn't allow it and closed them.

"Rory?" Lane's voice was laced with concern.

"What's wrong, tell me. Did he do something? Did he try something? God, Rory, you're scaring me here. What happened to you?" I could feel that Lane was on the verge of losing it as well. I dropped my head and moved forwards, leaning my head on her shoulder as the sobs were starting to come more frequently. Lane wrapped her arms around me and whispered soothing nothings in my ear.

She finally made me sit down on the couch and grabbed my shoulders.

"Rory, tell me. Did he do something?" I shook my head and my locks were bouncing up and down.

"No." I choked.

"He was wonderful, it was amazing." I could feel Lane nodding, her gaze burning a hole in my face.

"So what happened?" I took a deep breath and caught Lane's eyes.

"I bailed on him." Lane's mouth formed a silent o and she raised an eyebrow.

"Why?" simple question that deserved an honest answer. I sighed and buried my head in my hands.

"Do you know the feeling when you think that everything's just so perfect that it cannot last? I mean, I was lying there next to him and I suddenly realized that I was falling for him. I got scared, Lane. I mean, like really scared, I couldn't breathe, so I bailed. Left him a note." I added whispering the last words.

"Okay, we're gonna have to talk about what you had been doing, so you were lying next to him, but that can wait." I chuckled despite the sobs that were making their way up my throat

"I felt so close to him. It's like he got under my skin and that means that I am now in the position to get hurt, I can't let that happen!" Lane wrapped her arms around me and stroked my back.

"You have been with guys, Rory. Why is it so different now?" I thought about this for a long time, and then I finally answered.

"Because I kept thinking that maybe this was it." I whispered, my voice barely audible, but still noticeably shaken.

"Oh Rory." Lane exclaimed and silent tears were now escaping her eyes as well.

I tried to regain my composure as I sat back up, stretching my back. I looked at Lane's tear strained face and couldn't help but chuckle.

"I am a pathetic loser, right?" Lane laughed at me and nodded her head in confirmation.

"So, let's drop the subject please? What's Dave thinking about going back to Stars Hollow? I mean, you're taking him to the dinner, right?" Lane stiffed a chuckle.

"He's running around his apartment, ripping his closet apart, he can't seem to be finding the shirt Mama Kim had given him the last time he had been in Stars Hollow. I for once think that he used it as a rag to clean his guitar." I laughed at this, happy that Lane still was able to keep me distracted.

"He's going down, huh?" Poor Dave

"Yep." Was all Lane could say before she burst out laughing. I finally joined her, laughing at the ridiculous situation, laughing at me, laughing at the little child inside of me that couldn't seem to get her act together despite popular belief.

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"Rory?" Lane exclaimed as she was running around in our apartment, packing her stuff for Stars Hollow. I had already packed mine days ago, so I was now sitting on the couch, sipping my coffee and was watching Lane run around like a headless chicken.

"Yeah?" I replied in awe.

"Where's my red shirt?" I shrugged.

"Do you want to give your Mom a heart attack? You can't wear the red shirt in Stars Hollow."

Lane stopped in her tracks, staring at me.

"Yeah, you're probably right, man, I really forget how it is to be around my mom. I love it here, no one is bugging me about bible school or religion in general, you are quite tolerant when it comes down to music and I definitely don't have to hide my CDs from you." I smiled when as I went down memory lane, back to our days as kids, back to the weird hiding spots for Lane's CDs.

"Take the black one instead, it looks nice, plus I don't think you're mom is gonna join us for dinner." Lane nodded and squealed excitedly when she found the red shirt. She pulled the black one over her head and grabbed her coat.

"Ready?" I got up and took my duffel bag.

"Ready!" I confirmed as we locked the door to our apartment.

When we were in my car, driving to Stars Hollow I couldn't help but think about the fact that the phone had stopped ringing two days ago.

I know it's a bit on the short side, but I wanted to write Stars Hollow and hence the meeting as you all know in one chapter. I just wanted to clear up what Rory was going through, what made her do the things she did. I think some of you can relate, what it means to be scared to get too close to a person. Thanks for reading and I apologize for the lack of Jess once again, be prepared for tons of him in the next chapter! Review please!