Title: Lost
Series: Our Mrs. Cobb
Author: Sevangel
Disclaimer: Not mine
Rating: PG-13
-
"Yes." River answers, smirking up at her brother. "I was sitting here the whole time."
Simon's eyes go wide as though he's thinking about it before they narrow on his sister. "Brat."
"Boob." River responds.
Simon starts to protest when he notices something's off. "Mei-mei, are you feeling alright? You're a little flushed."
"Fine." River squeaks. "I was just…" Her comment trails off as she tries to think of a reasonable explanation.
"Cleaning." Willow finishes for River. "It's part of her therapy."
"Cleaning is part of her therapy?" Simon repeats, his eyebrow raised in disbelief.
"Yeah, cause the mind-numbingly boringness of it gives her practice at clearing her mind." Willow explains, looking over at River. "Right?"
"Yes." River agrees although she has to bite her lip to keep from laughing.
"Zoe, what are you still doin' here?" Kaylee questions the solider when she walks into the mess. "You guys back already?"
"I didn't go." Zoe answers. "Wash wanted to go this time out."
"Wash does crime?" Willow questions. "I didn't….he doesn't look like he'd do well under fire."
"He don't." Zoe replies. "But it's just a cake run; they should be fine."
The next twenty minutes pass quickly as Kaylee gets back to teaching Willow how to play Tall Card. Jayne and Zoe join in on the game, everyone but River playing at this point.
"River, you wanna play?" Kaylee questions.
"She cheats." Simon says.
"I do not." River protests.
"Mei-mei, you've been cheating at cards since you were 5." Simon replies before looking back at the group. "She counts cards."
"Huh." Jayne mutters. "That could come in handy."
"No." Simon replies. "You are not using my sister to help cheat dangerous men out of their money."
"She is his wife." Willow points out.
"I know that." Simon replies. "What's your point?"
"I'm just saying that you really don't have any say in what she does, not anymore." Willow says. "Like if she were to fall into a coma or something, Jayne would be the one who gets to decide whether or not to pull the plug."
Simon drops his cards and sits back, slightly dazed. Willow's right; he never really thought about what effects their marriage, in name only marriage, would have on River's life. When it comes down to it, Jayne is the deciding factor in River's well being.
"Simon, no need to look so stressed." River says. "Willow, you made him worry."
"Oops."
"Wait a gorram second." Jayne says. "What's this thing bout moony and a plug?"
"If I were on my deathbed with no chance of recovering, you would make the choice on whether to let me die or keep me alive." River explains.
"Whoa now, I don't…I ain't a doc and I'm thinkin' most of them decisions should be up to your brother." Jayne protests, his hand squeezing River's thigh.
Simon sighs with relief.
"I hope you had good sex." River announces, startling the whole table.
"MEI-MEI!" Simon shouts.
"River." Book scolds.
Kaylee and Willow giggle.
Jayne's hand squeezes again and he can't keep the smirk off his face.
"Hello Inara." Zoe says, smiling softly at River's comment.
"Hello." Inara replies. "Thank you for you good thoughts, River."
"You're welcome." River replies.
"River, that was not appropriate." Simon scolds.
River looks up at her brother with dazed eyes and then screams, her body vibrating as though she's being electrocuted. "You know, me and Zoe got a history and I figure you gotta be asking yourself some fundamental questions about the nature of that history…" River pants out, her voice taking on Mal's accent again. Her body is raked with vibrations again before she continues. "You know that for a fact, do you? You ever ask her?" She shakes some more, this time tears running down her face. "We were together a good long time before you come around, Wash. And she is a damn fine lookin' women." She trails off as she's once again raked with vibrations.
"River!" Simon yells. "River, answer me."
"Gorramit, Moony, answer him." Jayne growls, crouching down beside her to keep her body from falling off the chair she's sitting on.
"She's not there." Willow whispers. "She's with Mal."
"You want me to sleep with her?" River gasps out, her voice still sounding like Mal's. "That make you feel better?" More vibrations. "Imagine it 'd do wonders for her too." By this time, there's blood running down one nostril and she's been pulled off the chair and onto Jayne's lap. Simon pushes the chair aside and kneels down at her side. "Get in line." She growls before shaking again. "Okay, gonna do it. Wash. Wash! First thing we get back…Wash, you listening?"
Willow quietly moves closer to River, knowing what she has to do. If it were anyone else, she would reach in and pull them back but River's mind it too fragile, too many traps and turns; one wrong move and she could render the genius insane for real. "Goddess, please forgive me." She whispers, her hand clenched into a fist. Then she's pulling it back and slamming it into River's face before anybody can stop her.
"WHAT THE GORRAM HELL ARE YOU DOIN'?" Jayne yells, his body slightly jostled from the force of the punch. "You crazy?"
"Ouch." River whispers, this time in her own voice. She looks up at Willow with a scowl. "Took you long enough."
"I was hoping you would escape on your own." Willow replies, rubbing her fist. "Sorry bout the punchage."
"It's okay." River says, leaning back against Jayne's chest with a grimace.
"Mei-mei, are you…."
"I'm fine, Simon." River interrupts. She then looks up to Zoe. "You need to gather the rest of the money and purchase Wash back."
"Back?" Zoe asks. "River, what was that?"
"They are being tortured." River replies. "Wash will not make it much longer; he's slipping away as it is."
"Who?" Zoe coldly asks.
"Niska."
Kaylee and Inara gasp and Jayne's hands tighten around River.
"You and Simon must go to his space station." River says. "Simon will have to stay in the shuttle of course but Wash will need tending to."
"They got the shuttle." Zoe points.
"Not both of them." Inara replies. "You can take mine."
"And Book, Kaylee, and Jayne can go get the spare." River says.
Nobody moves.
"Mei-mie, I think I should check you…"
"No time." River interrupts again. "We must act now or all will be lost."
"Simon, go get your kit." Zoe orders. "Everyone else grab whatever cash you got left from the Ariel job and bring it to Nara's shuttle. Then, Kaylee, Book, and Jayne go get the spare shuttle. Now."
-
"River, are you sure you're alright?" Inara asks quietly.
"Yes." River answers, wrapping her arms around herself. She wants Jayne's comforting bulk back but he's gone.
"Niska, that's the guy they stole medicine from and then gave it back and then pushed his muscle through an engine, right?" Willow asks Inara.
"Yes." Inara replies.
"They'll be back soon." River whispers. She walks out of the bay and towards the infirmary.
Willow looks at River and then at Inara before following the genius through the ship.
"River, what are you doing?" Inara questions when they walk into the infirmary and see the genius prepping a needle.
"Preparing." River answers. She finishes prepping the needle and then hands it to Willow. "If I get sucked down again, you must use this; I'm not sure if even violence would bring me back this time."
"What is it?" Willow asks.
"A sedative." River answers with a shiver. "I do not like them but it is better than getting lost."
Willow puts the needle into the pocket of the dress she's wearing with a frown. "I'm not sure if I like this."
"Me either." River replies, closing her eyes. "They are back."
They move through the halls, Inara and Willow a few steps behind River.
"She is so much stronger than I ever thought." Inara whispers to Willow.
"She's one of the strongest people I've ever met and I've met some strong people." Willow agrees. "She refuses to be a victim anymore."
"How is he?" Inara asks Simon upon seeing Zoe help Wash out of her shuttle.
"Okay." Simon answers honestly. "He could use more time to heal but with his upcoming plan, I'm afraid that's not possible."
"Plan?" Jayne asks as he exits the spare shuttle. "What plan? Where's Mal?"
"Niska's still got him." Zoe answers. "Though he gave me a little piece to remember him by."
"Huh?"
Zoe reaches down the front of her shirt and pulls out a small cloth. She then opens it to reveal an ear.
"Ewww." Willow says. Shr reaches out to poke it when River smacks her hand.
"Don't poke the captain's parts." River scolds. "He will need it back."
Simon takes the cloth from Zoe and studies it. "It's a clean cut." He comments. "With the right equipment, I should be able to reattach it. That's assuming there's still a head."
"Just put it on ice." Zoe orders.
Simon starts to walk away when River screams again and flies back against the wall. "We're starting a book club?" She asks in Mal's obviously tortured voice. "What? Are you trying to torture me?"
Willow's next to River first and before anybody can say anything, she injects the genius in the arm.
"What did you…where did you get that?" Simon grabs the empty needle from Willow's hand.
"River prepared it and told her to use it if she started to get sucked back down." Inara explains. "She said she might not be able to find her way back again."
Jayne nudges Willow and Simon out of the way and picks up River's unconscious body. Without a word, he carries her to the infirmary, his stomach churning. He ruttin' hates this; hates how ruttin' worried he is. He's never been good at handlin' emotions; he's a physical man at heart. He lays her gently on the bed in the corner of the infirmary and covers her up, brushing her hair out of her face, before turning around to exit.
"Where you going?" Zoe asks the merc.
"Load up." Jayne answers. "And kill some folk."
-
River walks the familiar grounds, her hand trailing a few inches above the headstones. "This is new."
"It's a favorite memory."
"Hello, Buffy." River says, moving to stand next to the slayer.
"Hello, River." Buffy replies.
They're both quiet as they watch the scene play out; a scene from Buffy's past. It's night and they are in a cemetery but there are no demons except for one.
"Fight for it." Buffy says. "No matter what anybody says, you and him are meant to be, just as we were. It's destined."
River goes back to watching the scene, one of Buffy leaning back against the chest of Angel who in turn is leaning back against a headstone. River can tell by their looks that this is long after he lost his soul and before he left her.
Then, they're out of the cemetery and on top of a building facing each other.
"I get distracted there." Buffy explains. "You're different, stronger."
"Yes." River agrees.
"And you've been having the smoochies." Buffy grins.
River blushes. "Yes." Then she frowns. "You don't watch when we…"
"NO!" Buffy interrupts, blushing herself. "We don't watch that kind of stuff; I can just tell by the way you look. You're happy."
"Uh huh." River agrees. "Jayne makes…"
Buffy giggles. "I'm sorry, it's just, he's so big and Jayne is such a girly name."
"Like Angel is the manliest of names." River points out.
"True." Buffy's nose wrinkles. "And Liam isn't much better."
River giggles. "One more thing we have in common." She says. "We like the men of girly names."
Buffy smiles fondly at River before her eyes grow serious. "How is Willow?" She asks. "I try to watch but there are other things and I can't watch all the time, it's against the rules." She rolls her eyes at that statement.
"She's adjusting." River replies. "And hiding her magic is getting harder."
"You will both know when the time is right." Buffy says, rolling her eyes again. "I hate this cryptic crap but if I say too much then they're going to stop letting me visit you and…."
"It's okay." River interrupts. "I do a lot of the cryptic talk myself."
"Yes." Buffy agrees. "You would."
River raises an eyebrow but doesn't question her.
"You have to go back." Buffy whispers. "Can't you feel it?"
River focuses past the dream walking and outwards, and sure enough feels it. Panic and fear. "Kaylee."
"Go." Buffy orders.
"I can't." River growls with frustration. "I'm sedated, heavily."
"You can." Buffy argues. "Now."
-
"NOW!" River shouts.
Inara runs back into the infirmary just in time to see River jump off the counter she was just unconscious on. "River, it's okay, calm down." Inara says quietly. She hates this, hates waiting while everyone else off trying to bring Mal back but she's still waiting on the councilor to respond about the dermal mender thing that Simon needs to reattach Mal's ear.
River stalks past Inara, a dazed but deadly look on her face. Then she's running through the ship and Inara can't do anything but try and keep up with her.
"Willow, can you…..I can't." Kaylee whispers across the open bay door.
"I failed to mention I've never shot a gun before." Willow says back from the other side.
They both flinch and squeal when bullets are fired at them.
"Oh, I'd so rather be facing an apocalypse." Willow mutters.
"Huh?" Kaylee says.
"Nothing." Willow replies. She knows they don't have much time until those three heavily armed guards realize there's nothing protecting the ship but two terrified girls. If this were demons and she had a cross bow, she'd be peachy keen but it's not. She hates guns, always had, but after Tara, she can't stand them. In fact, the cold metal makes her hand burn and she lets it go lax, the gun almost slipping out of her palm. She closes her eyes, preparing to blow the men away, regardless of the consequences, when the gun is taken out of her hand. She opens her eyes and gasps. "River?"
"River, what're you doin'?" Kaylee gasps.
Willow tries to grab River and keep her from moving into the open doorway but she only brushes River's skirt as the genius passes by.
"Can't look. Can't look." River whispers. Her eyes close and then the gun comes up. Three shots fire and three bodies drop.
"Whoa." Kaylee gasps.
"Damn." Willow mutters.
River turns her head to look at Willow and promptly passes out, the gun still smoking in her hand.
"River!" Willow screeches, scrambling over to the genius's side.
Inara runs over to drop down beside Willow and River. "How did she.."
"I don't know." Willow answers, moving River's head into her lap.
Kaylee looks out at the dead guards and then back at River. "She's a better shot then Jayne and the cap'n."
-
"You guys rescued me." Mal says, looking up at Jayne and Book who are carrying him.
"Yeah." Jayne agrees. "Don't go thinkin' it means somethin'. Just don't feel like breakin' in a new cap'n, is all."
Simon tries to examine Mal's head as they walk, though he stumbles over a few bodies.
"Wait a gorram second." Mal mutters. "Who's guardin' the ship?"
"Tyen-sah." Simon says, startling everybody. "Kaylee and Willow."
They speed up, Book and Jayne practically dragging Mal when they see the burned out mule and three bodies that Jayne knows weren't there before. It's precision work; all three of em shot between the eyes with what he guesses to be a small pistol, one like Kaylee and Willow both had. They run up the loading dock door and come to a stop at the sight on Willow, Kaylee, and Inara all sitting on the ground.
"What're you doin'?" Jayne bellows. "This is a gorram fire fight; ain't no time to be groupin' together to play."
Kaylee turns her head to look at Jayne with sad eyes. "We didn't wanna move her."
"Who?" Jayne growls.
Inara and Kaylee move away to reveal River lying on the bay floor, her head in Willow's lap, a gun in her hand.
Jayne lets go of Mal and moves over to pick River up. The gun she's holding hits the ground and he kicks it aside. "What's she doin' down here?" Jayne asks as he carries her back to the infirmary. "Thought she was sedated?"
"She screamed 'now', jumped up, and ran out of the infirmary before I could stop her." Inara answers. "Then she took the gun out of Willow's hand, spun out in front of the bay doors, closed her eyes, and shot the three men moving to take over the boat."
Jayne lays River back down, his stomach clenching again. His fingers brush fondly over her face before he turns to help Zoe and Book carry Mal into the infirmary.
"Wash, get us the gorram hell out of here." Zoe orders.
"Where to?" Wash questions.
"Back where we were." Zoe answers. "Once we land, get back down here and let the doc finish tending to you."
"I'm going to go wave the councilor again." Inara says. "Hopefully, she can meet us there with the mender."
"Willow, I need your help." Simon says as he slips on gloves. "Mal, can you say something?"
"Somethin'." Mal grunts.
"Smart ass." Willow mutters.
Mal's head turns to look at River, wondering what the gorram hell went on while he was bein' tortured. Then he's going under, the doc's medicine working it's magic.
-
"You can come out now." Buffy says, holding her hand out to River.
"The tests aren't done." River replies. "More to do. More to do. Always more to do."
"You're not there, not anymore." Buffy assures her. She pulls the needle out of River's forehead and then takes her hand.
River claps Buffy's hand and then they're out of the academy hospital and on a beach. "It's beautiful." River whispers.
"Yes." Buffy agrees. Still holding River's hand, she drags the genius out into the waves.
River goes under with Buffy and then breaks the surface, laughing happily. "I like it here."
"You can't stay, River." Buffy warns, moving to float on her back.
River floats beside Buffy, the waves soft and keeping them afloat. "Why not?"
"You don't belong here." Buffy replies. "It's not your time. You belong with them."
"I can't go back." River whispers. "I'm a killer."
"River, you're a good person who did what was necessary to protect those you love." Buffy replies. "I can't fault you for that and neither will they."
"You can't be sure." River says.
"You're right." Buffy agrees. "I can't be. What I am sure of is there are two people on that boat that need you, need you more than anything right now."
"Jayne." River whispers.
"Yes." Buffy agrees. "You leave and he'll be gone and a cold shell will take his place."
"And Willow." River says.
"They won't understand or accept what she is without you." Buffy replies. "She needs you to keep her centered. Besides, don't you wanna have the sex?"
River giggles.
"See, you do." Buffy stops floating and stands up to look at River. "It's time to wake up now but I need you to give Willow a message for me."
"What?" River asks.
"You think you know, who you are, what's to come." Buffy says. "You've only just begun."
"Willow's going to love that." River says. "She hates the cryptic talk."
"I know." Buffy grins. "Goodbye."
-
Willow brushes her hand over River's forehead, letting the digits linger for a few moments. Her soul is still here and her body is completely healthy but she hasn't woken up yet. The sedatives wore off long ago but she still hasn't woken up. Willow's going to give her another day before doing something she really doesn't want to do; go in after her. She did it with Buffy and it was highly dangerous. Doing it to River very well might lock them both inside her mind.
"Why ain't she woke up yet?" Jayne growls at Simon for the hundredth time.
"I don't know." Simon replies. "I honestly have no idea what's wrong with her."
"You know." Jayne says, moving beside Willow. He looks down at River for a second before jerking his gaze away to glare down at the redhead. "You know somethin' and don't try denyin' it, I could see it in the way you just done looked at her."
"Jayne, back off." Mal orders, limping into the infirmary.
"She knows somethin'." Jayne replies, not even turning his head to look at Mal.
"Willow, you know somethin' and don't go lyin' to me." Mal says. "And bring your hand round so you can't do the finger crossing thing again."
"She's stuck." Willow says, nodding her head to River. "Or she's hiding; I'm not exactly sure."
"Stuck where?" Simon questions.
"Her mind." Willow replies. "My best friend, it happened to her once. She just got really stressed out and kinda broke. She folded into her self and went catatonic."
"Guay." Simon mutters. "She can't be."
Willow looks sadly at Simon. "She is."
"Can't you fix it?" Jayne asks. "You're the gorram doctor, fix her."
"I can't, Jayne." Simon replies. He briefly wonders why the merc is so concerned with his sister but brushes it aside. "There's no way to fix it. If she really is catatonic, there's nothing that can be done."
Jayne's advances on the doctor, about to press the issue when there's a loud gasp from the corner. He spins around to see River sitting up, breathing heavily.
"Oh." River mutters, holding her head.
"Moony?" Jayne pushes past Willow to stand beside River. "Gorramit, answer me."
"Jayne." River whispers, looking up at him. "Hi."
"HI!" Jayne bellows. "You've been a ruttin' coma for three gorram days and you're gonna wake up and say hi?"
"Jayne, calm down." Mal orders.
Simon pushes past Jayne to examine his sister. "How do you feel?"
"Like I did 'shrooms and got eaten by a bear." River answers.
"What?" Simon says.
"Nothing." River replies. "Willow, I have a message, before I forget."
"From who?" Willow asks.
"Buffy." River says. "You think you know, who you are, what's to come. You've only just begun."
"Again with the crypticness." Willow mutters.
River giggles. "I knew you would say that." River pushes her brother's hands away and jumps off the table.
"Mei-mei, I wasn't done." Simon protests.
River waves off his concern. "I'm fine."
"You were in a coma for 3 days." Simon replies. "I need to finish examining you."
"I said I'm fine." River says. "No need to worry."
"Little witch, I think you oughta listen to your brother." Mal says.
"I'm fine." River replies.
"Mei-mei." Simon protests.
River ignores them and goes to move out of the infirmary when she's blocked by Jayne's large form. "Sit down, now." Jayne growls down at her.
"I'm fine, Jayne." River says.
Jayne picks River up and carries her back to her brother. "You try and move again and I'll ruttin' tie you to that table, dong ma?"
River rolls her eyes and sits back, letting her brother finish his examination. She doesn't want to be in the infirmary but she's secretly happy that Jayne is so concerned about her.
After a good 25 minutes of intense investigation, Simon sets his instruments down with a sigh. "She's fine."
"Told you." River sticks her tongue out at her brother and then hops off the table. She then looks up at Jayne with a grin. "May I leave now?"
"Guess so." Jayne replies.
"Shiny." River says, running out of the infirmary.
"Okay, how does she go from bein' in a ruttin' coma to runnin' round the ship?" Mal asks. "And what's with the message? When did she talk to somebody?"
"I don't know." Simon answers, completely frustrated. He's completely out of his depth when it comes to his sister. He turns his head to look at the only person whom seems to understand what River's going through. "Well, care to shed some light on the situation?"
"Um, she feels fine." Willow replies. "I don't know why; can't you just accept it as being true and not question the living hell out of it?"
"No." Simon mutters.
"Well, then suck it up and get over it." Willow advises. "River's back and you should just be happy about that instead of all questioning it."
Jayne glares at Willow and exits the infirmary. He stalks towards his room, his body tense. He needs to feel her, touch her but knows it ain't gonna happen for a while. Kicking open his hatch, he drops down into his bunk to wait out the hours until he can be with River.
-
"Willow." River whispers. "Wake up."
"Huh?" Willow rolls over to see River standing above her. "Go to sleep, River. I know you feel better but you should rest."
"I need to see Jayne." River says. "Simon wouldn't leave my side all day and I need to see Jayne."
"Oh." Willow replies. "Then go. I'll call if Simon comes a knockin'."
River drops a kiss on Willow's forehead before sneaking out of their room. The rest of the boat is asleep, most of the crew having not slept in the 3 days she was in her coma. It didn't feel like 3 days but then again, weeks would pass in a blur when she was in the academy.
When she reaches Jayne's bunk, she finds it locked but it doesn't take but a few seconds to get around that. She quietly pushes open his hatch and drops down into his bunk on silent feet. She then shuts and relocks the hatch and turns around to see a gun pointing at her.
"Moony, that you?" Jayne grunts, still mostly asleep.
"Yes." River replies, moving over to his bed.
Jayne hangs the gun back up and then grabs River's hand to pull her onto the bed.
River settles between the wall and Jayne, her head resting on his chest.
Jayne drops a light kiss on River's forehead and wraps his arms tightly around her. His face rubs into her hair and within a few minutes, he's back asleep.
River throws a leg over Jayne, closes her eyes, and sighs with contentment. Buffy was right; it might be easier to stay lost but being here is better.
-