I know I seem to have too much time on my hand, but this story just keeps floating in my mind. As you may have noticed, there are mistakes; I try to correct them, but sometimes being German gets in the way of that.

Bittersweetbloodbaby: thanks for mentioning the thing about the rating, I took care of that and yay you updated Hollywood Hearts, thanks. Btw, I highly recommend the story to any of you who haven't read it yet, it's unimaginably great!

To all of you who have reviewed, thanks so much. I try to update as frequently as now, but as I said before, my semester is starting again on Monday and I have been accepted in this huge research group and added to that I have to undergo surgery once again, but I promise, the next chapters will be up this weekend!

I actually do have a life on my own though, I keep working on my doctor's degree. Man, that sounded so grown up, I'm scaring myself actually!

Here we go; I hope I can satisfy your expectations!

Stars Hollow, here we come!

Rory's POV:

Lane and I had decided- after we had picked up Dave- to stop at the diner first, after all, it what more than possible that my mom would be there. When we got out of the car, I could already see my mom through the window, sitting at the counter, chatting happily with Luke. As I opened the door, the little bell above it announced my arrival. Mom swirled around on her seat, nearly knocking down Luke who had been standing beside her. I grinned at the scene in front of me and suddenly I caught my mom's eyes. They were wide, excited, mirroring the happiness she felt inside. Normally mom would have jumped up and embraced me in her arms, but this time she made her way over to me slowly, moving her hips ever so slightly, nodding left and right, mouthing silent words. My smile grew wilder as she reached me. I pulled her in a hug and whispered in her ear.

"So, walking down the aisle, huh?" I could feel Mom's lips forming a big smile on my cheek. She pulled away and looked at me with expectant piercing blue eyes.

"Were the hips too much?" I shook my head and laughed.

"Just enough to drive Luke crazy and to make Grandma miserable!" She beamed.

"That's what I was going for." And suddenly all hell broke lose. She stopped in her tracks, her eyes shot open and she gasped.

"I'm getting married, kid! I'm getting married." I joined in.

"You're getting married!" and then we squealed the way only a true Gilmore could, I think I may have heard a couple of glasses breaking by the sound. Luke came running out of the storage room where he had retreated to earlier as if to give us a private moment since no one else was in the diner in this very moment.

"Geez, what's wrong with you?" Luke exclaimed, adjusting his cap. I walked up to him and pulled him in an awkward hug.

"You hurt her you die!" Luke caught my eye and nodded.

"Dully noted." I heard footsteps coming down the stairs from the apartment above that now since Luke had moved in with my Mom, had become his office, just like his father had intended it to be. I looked at Luke questioningly.

"Oh, I guess that's my nephew, he's here for the dinner. He's from the west coast. Well actually he was raised in New York, but…" he trailed off mumbling something under his breath along the line as: "Man, I spend way too much time with your Mom!"

I expectantly examined the curtain that separated the staircase from the diner. When I saw the curtain being pushed away, I instantly put on a happy face, making sure that whoever was coming down here would feel welcome; I wasn't prepared in the slightest for what fate had in store for me. The first thing I saw was a hand, then an arm, than a head full of dark hair. I took in a deep breath as I tried to push the memories out of my head, I looked down to regain my calmness and when I looked up I stared at the disbelieving face of Jess Mariano. I was in a loss of words, motionless, my knees went week as I grew smaller under his gaze. I gasped and was glad that the counter was near so I could use it to support my weight.

I didn't know who spoke first but I heard him clearly, mirroring my sentiments exactly.

"Holy shit!" I felt like I was about to throw up, fainting would actually be a welcome surprise right now. I would have done anything to get out of the diner this minute. I felt my heartbeat as it banged against my sternum, the diner started swirling around me as I could make out voices in the distance. Far far away they seemed.

"Rory, this is my nephew Jess. Jess, this is Rory, my fiancée's daughter." I snapped back to reality and took in my surroundings again. I was leaning against the counter, Luke had his hand on Jess's shoulder and my mom was coming over to me.

"Apparently he's just transferred to Yale, maybe you have run into each other." My mom explained the situation to me, but I couldn't help but feel that this was all slightly surreal.

"Rory, you okay? You look kinda pale." It was Luke's voice who caught me once again.

"I, I …" I swallowed, choking on my own saliva.

"I think I might be sick!" and with that I brushed past them, covering my mouth with one of my hands and ran out of the diner, leaving behind a stunned Luke, a knowing mom and an exhausted Jess.

I stopped when I reached the gazebo, catching my breath. It actually hurt to breathe right now. I could see Lane enter the diner, leaving it not thirty seconds after, scanning her surroundings.

I knew she was looking for me and I couldn't help but feel guilty by the fact that she always seemed to have to comfort me. I sat down on the small bench, trying to hide from the prying eyes of any inhabitant of Stars Hollow. I felt a movement next to me and buried my hands even deeper in the pockets of my coat. I expected it to be Lane, but boy was I in for a surprise when I caught a certain scent. I stopped breathing, stopped moving and for an instant I thought I might have stopped living altogether. I scanned my surroundings, suddenly feeling like a rabbit that had to flee from the fox that was about to catch it. I needed my rabbit hole, a place to disappear into. I knew exactly who was sitting next to me, taking in deep breaths. Suddenly something else caught my attention, smoke. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see him light a cigarette, inhaling it, letting it float back to the air through is nose. I followed the smoke with my eyes when it mixed with the wind, flying away. What would I have given to be a particle of the smoke right now, fly away, and never look back.

"I didn't know you smoked." I finally had found the courage to start the conversation. There were many things I didn't know about him, and subconsciously I was dying to find them out, dreading it at the same time.

"I don't." I heard the fabric of his jacket as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh okay!" I sighed defeated. He wasn't making it simple, but why would I deserve it?

"So, Luke's your uncle, huh?" apparently he chose not to reply.

I listened to the trees playing with the wind, trying to win the battle against nature as the leaves fell to the ground, mixing with the dirty sand. I didn't allow myself to look at him, scared of what I might see on his face. Hatred? Passion? Hurt? He played with the cigarette in his hand and finally threw the remains on the ground, stepping on it with his shoe. In my mind I could see me laughing, telling him that if Taylor would have caught him, he'd claim the throne of the new delinquent of Stars Hollow. In my mind I could see him responding, with a smirk on his face, that he didn't care, and then he would kiss me to shut me up when I would start protesting, lecturing him on good behavior. He'd stroke my cheek, playing with my hair that would be caught up in the wind and I'd lean on to him, enjoying the warmth of his body.

I shook my head as I tried to dismiss my thoughts. This ship has sailed, I kept telling myself all over again, but I couldn't help but be hopeful in the pit of my stomach.

"I called you." I nodded, encouraging him to continue although I didn't deserve it.

"27 times." He kept count.

"Yeah, I know, it's pathetic really that I kept count. I didn't try for the 28th time you know. Maybe I shouldn't have called altogether." I swallowed when I noticed the hurt tone in his voice. My voice betrayed me in return. My throat tightened and I experienced the fearful aura of upcoming tears. My chin started shivering, but I tried to suppress it.

"I'm sorry." My words sounded lame even to me, but apparently Jess was the one who kept inquiring beyond excuses and made up reasons. Another remarkable characteristic of him. Never take the things the way they are presented, question them, make the person who says them doubt the meaning.

"What for?" His question caught me by surprise. For the first time I dared to look at him. I was shocked when I met his gaze. I had expected his face to be blank, lacking of any emotions, maybe anger, but not this. He eyed me expectantly, softly even and it made me even angrier with myself. I dropped my head once again, playing with my purse.

"I was scared." He nodded knowingly.

"Okay. Scared of what?" there it was again, the feeling that he provoked in me, challenging me when he knew I was on the verge of breaking down, not accepting my lame, stereotypical answers. The demons inside of me started to roar, to burst, making my head spin. All the fear, doubts, emotions that had been boiling up inside of me were finally about to reach the surface. I jumped up, surprising both myself and Jess with this sudden action.

I put the hands on my hips, glaring down at him.

"What is it you want from me, Jess? Is this some sort of game to you? Does it make you feel powerful to ask me all of these questions? Does it make you feel manlier to be the one in charge? What is it, Jess, tell me?" he calmly looked up to me, not avoiding my fiery eyes.

"I just want you to be honest with yourself." I nearly got sick again, who the fuck did he think he was?

"Honest to myself? I am fucking honest to myself! What is this? Have you suddenly gotten your psychology degree on the internet? You don't know me, so don't tell me what to do!" I spat and realized too late that he had gotten up as well, now being slightly taller than me including my heels.

"What's this, Rory? Why are you getting so defensive? Did I hit a nerve? Yes, I don't know you and you don't know me, but it didn't stop you from jumping my bones. I asked you to tell me when to stop; you could have just told me. Don't act like the shy kitten, Rory. Don't act as if as was the devil in all of this. I have been calling you for five days; I have been wrecking my brain, trying to figure out what I had possibly done wrong. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you're not the only one getting hurt in this? And the note? Damnit, Rory. I can't?

What is it that you can't do? I wasn't gonna ask you to fucking marry me, Rory. I wasn't gonna ask you to be my girlfriend, because people our age don't so that anymore. If it fits, it fits, and wow, I have actually fooled myself when I had thought that this might be fitting. We, us, but apparently I had been wrong. You had to know that it wasn't all about the sex. You should have known actually!" Jess was fuming, yelling at me, and I was standing there like a little kid, tears streaming down my face, feeling like a little piece of shit. I jerked up my arms, trying to block out his words, trying to make it all go away.

"Don't you think I didn't know that? Do you really think of me that low? You have no idea how I beat me up in the last couple of days, how I so desperately tried to talk to you, but I just…" he cut me off.

"Yeah, you just can't, I got that." He instantly calmed down when he saw my face; he rubbed his temples, dropping his head, breathing heavily. There we were, standing only inches apart, both worked up, both not knowing how take the other. His eyes were black, and when they had been black earlier that week it had been for totally different reasons. I was positive that he wasn't thinking about trailing hot kisses down my body. I sighed defeated and looked at him. His hair was sticking up, his cheeks flushed, his lips forming a thin line. I couldn't deny it anymore: I wanted him. His voice interrupted the loaded silence around us.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you." I nodded, silently apologizing as well, but my pride still wouldn't let me form those words out loud. He bit his bottom lip, continuing.

"It's just, I was really frustrated, fed up even and you happened to be here, weird coincidence by the way …" he trailed off, leaving it up to me to finish his thoughts. I wanted to reply when I heard my name being called. My head shot up as I heard approaching footsteps. My mom was hurrying over to where Jess and I were standing and eyed me worriedly.

"You okay, hon? You left the diner so quickly earlier, I thought you might be sick or something." Or something I silently repeated in my head. I discretely wiped my eyes and put on a fake smile.

"No, I'm fine, I just needed fresh air for a moment and Jess here decided to keep me company." Mom's eyes focused on Jess as she thanked him silently for taking care of her girl. That he had, taking care of me that is.

"That's nice." Mom smiled a genuine smile and wrapped an arm around me.

"You're gonna be related in July after all." I choked and even Jess seemed to get uncomfortable with where the conversation was heading. Mom squeezed my hand and added jokingly.

"Not by blood or anything. That's not a problem, is it?" Jess shook his head.

"Nope, none at all." Mom let go off the subject and directed her words at me.

"So, Rory, where's your date?" I groaned silently.

"He couldn't make it." My mom clapped her hands.

"Oh, that's a shame." Suddenly her eyes lit up, nothing good could be the result of this.

"Hey, Jess. Did you bring a date?" Jess shook his head no and buried his hands in his pockets.

"Good, how about the two of you go together then? I mean not date-like obviously, but it could be fun, huh?" She had no idea. When neither Jess nor I would object she nodded happily and went off. I tilted my head and observed Jess's expression. Unreadable. I sighed.

This was gonna be one long day.

Okay, this was part one of the meeting, I hope you enjoyed it. Many of you might think that Jess is extremely out of character, he might be, I give you that, BUT: he actually was hurt and this was his way to get it out of his system. He didn't act too whipped now did he? He told her all the things I would have told Rory if I had been in his position, weird, that I identify with Jess and not with Rory… makes me wonder why.