Hi there! Thank you so much for your reviews, I really appreciate them! I'm sorry I haven't updated earlier, but I've got lots of school work these days. I'm going away to Switzerland on Saturday so it'll take me at least one and a half week until I update next time, please don't be too mad at me…
Umm, it would be nice to get some more uh… evaluating reviews. Please tell me what's good and what's bad so I'll improve.
See you! xxx
Autumn turned into winter as the months passed by. It was already Christmas Eve. For Harry's first time ever, since he was eleven, he was not going to spend his holidays at Hogwarts. Instead, he would celebrate Christmas at the new headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. Most of the members of the order were going to be there, Severus included. It had taken Harry a month to convince Severus that he was wanted at Christmas.
When Severus had refused to acquaintance Harry in any other way that night a month ago, Harry had decided to move more slowly. He tried to spend as much time with him as possible, even though he had to work late nights to keep up with his school work. Slowly and carefully he noticed that his professor was opening up a bit, although not as much as Harry would have liked him to.
The new headquarters was located in a small suburban of London. The house was huge and there were a lot of bedrooms in case people had to stay overnight. Harry was happy they had chosen a new house as headquarters as he was not too fond of the idea of staying at Grimmauld place as it reminded him too much of Sirius.
The evening had fallen upon them and everyone was sitting at the kitchen table, having dinner. This far, only Harry, the Weasleys, Severus and Remus Lupin had arrived. Hermione was going to celebrate Christmas with her family, as she usually did. Albus would join them on Christmas Day together with some other members of the Order. S
"What do you wish for Christmas, Harry?" Ginny asked.
"Nothing really, maybe some Quidditch books." Harry answered.
"Oh, come on! There must be something you want, other than books!" Ginny exclaimed. "What about a girlfriend?" She added.
"Not really…" Harry said stiffly.
"A boyfriend then?" She teased.
Ron noticed Harry tense and decided to stop his sister. "How are things between you and Dean, Ginny? I heard some rumours abo…" He began but was interrupted.
"I am going to retire now. I am not particularly interesting in conversations concerning your love life, Miss Weasley." Severus said coolly and smirked. "Thank you for the dinner, Mrs Weasley. Good night." He turned on his heels and walked out of the room.
"That silly old git!" Ginny muttered.
Harry felt himself tense but decided not to say anything.
"Well, he's been worse, hasn't he?" Ron said.
"I'm tired; I think I'll go to be early. Good night everyone!" Harry rose and exited the room.
Harry didn't go to his own room; instead he knocked at Severus' door, which was in the same corridor as his own.
"Come in, Potter." Severus muttered and opened the door with his wand.
Harry shut the door after him and looked around in the room. Severus had moved in this very day and Harry had not seen his room yet. The room was rather large, with a big bed, a sofa, a desk, a wardrobe and a couple of chairs. Along one of the walls, there were three windows, all of them quite big.
"Have a seat." The older wizard said and motioned on one of the chairs. Harry obeyed.
"Young Mr Weasley seems rather protective of you." Severus commented.
"Well…I guess he is." Harry shrugged.
"You need to learn how to guard your body. It was rather obvious that you were uncomfortable when Miss Weasley questioned your sexuality." He sneered knowingly.
Harry blushed fiercely.
"You do not feel women appealing at all, do you?" Severus asked.
"It's not like you would care if I did, is it?" Harry almost snapped. Without knowing, he displayed his true feelings to Severus.
"No, of course not." The man replied, his voice sounding oddly rejected.
"Well, I bet you figured that out a long time ago." Harry sounded apologetic.
"Quite so." He rose. "I have to go now. Lucius Malfoy is going to throw a big party tonight."
"For all the death-eaters? You'll be careful, won't you?" The young man said worriedly.
"Yes. If I am not back in the morning, send an owl to Albus. He will know what to do."
The student nodded and felt his body tense. "I'll see you tomorrow then. Good luck." Harry composed all the courage he had and gave his professor a chaste kiss on the forehead. He then fled the room, not wanting to face an angry Severus Snape.
Harry couldn't sleep that night, out of concern for Severus. At 3.15 am he gave up sleeping and got out of the bed. He dressed quickly and decided to check on his professor.
To his displeasure, Severus had not returned yet. His room was dark and quiet. Harry shut the door quietly and curled up on the sofa, waiting.
Some time later Harry flinched when he heard the door was opening. He didn't know how long he'd been waiting but he noticed it was still dark outside.
Severus entered the room and shut the door. Only seconds later, his eyes fell on Harry. He frowned.
"What the hell are you doing here, Potter?" Severus hissed angrily. He was dressed in long black robes and his mask was hanging along his back.
"I just wanted…I just want… I just wanted to make sure you're all right." Harry stuttered nervously. His face displayed true anxiety.
Severus felt himself soften when he looked at the raven-haired boy. His face was so innocent, so pure. The man was actually touched that the boy seemed to care for him.
"Are you okay?" Harry asked softly.
"Yes." The professor assured him.
"What happened?"
"Mr Potter, I do not want to discuss these things with you. Let's just say that there was nothing I couldn't handle." Severus said stiffly.
"Are you hurt?"
"No." The professor snapped. "Don't look at me like that. I am fine, really." He added.
"I never said you weren't. It's just that you look a little uh… tense."
"Potter, time's 3.30 am and it's technically Christmas day. You should get some sleep. I am confident the Weasley clan wouldn't want you asleep by noon." Severus urged. He didn't have the guts to throw Harry out of his room.
"I don't care. They're nice people but I do… I don't know. It's just that they're a steady reminder of what I will never have." Harry got quiet for a while. "I've always wanted a family. But during the past year, I've finally realised that no one will ever be able to replace my parents. The Weasley's are just a steady reminder of what I don't have. I want someone to love me, but I don't want him to love me out of pity. I can't help but seeing the pity in Mrs Weasley's eyes when she looks at me." His voice was full of sorrow and longing.
"I know. Albus looks at me that way." Severus said before he could stop himself. "You should go to bed now, Mr Potter."
"Can't I stay here? I'll sleep in the couch. Please. I don't wanna be alone tonight."
"Fine." He realised that he could not reject Harry's wish. "I will read."
Severus sat down on the sofa and placed a small lightning charm around his book. He swung his wand and the room went pitch black.
"Can I lean on you?" Harry whispered.
"Can I stop you?" Severus muttered but the amusement in his voice was evident.
Harry pulled the blanket tight around him and leaned on Severus' shoulder. He liked the way the older man smelled and he snuggled closer to him. For once he felt safe. It didn't take long until he fell asleep.
Some time later, Severus found himself running his hand through Harry's hair.