Hello! I'm so sorry for not updating earlier, but I've been really busy lately.

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"Potter, wake up!" Severus hissed and shook the boy's shoulder gently.

Harry slowly sat up straight and rubbed his eyes.

"You ought to be in your room." The older wizard muttered.

"Have I leaned on you the entire night?" Harry blushed. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're not." The man sneered.

The boy's cheeks turned into a dark shade of red.

"What's time?" Harry asked and straightened his robes.

"Half past seven."

"Err…are you not angry at me 'cause I stayed in your room and because I err… kissed you?"

"If I were, you would have known it by now, Mr Potter." Severus replied as a matter of fact.

Harry exhaled deeply.

"Uh…professor, would you mind calling me Harry when we're in private?"

"No, I would not."

"Merry Christmas, by the way." Harry smiled.

"Thank you. Merry Christmas to you." Severus did not smile, but he did not scowl either. "Please leave now, I will see you later." The older wizard urged.

"Okay, okay, I'll leave. See you later then."

Severus only nodded and watched the boy leave.

Christmas day went by as any other day, except for the big dinner Mrs Weasley had prepared. Professor Dumbledore joined them just before dinner and was all joyful as usual.

Everyone had exchanged gifts by now and Harry was satisfied with all his gifts.

When the dinner was finished, everyone was sitting in the living room, chatting lightly. Severus lurked in a dark corner, as he used to do. Harry shot him anxious glances from time to time, only to earn a couple of stern glances in return.

At nine, Harry decided that he had had enough. He was sick of all Christmas joy, as he felt it separated him from the others. After bidding everyone good night, he went up to his room, not noticing the pair of dark eyes that followed him as he walked out of the room.

Harry didn't bother to switch on the lights in his room; he just sank down on the floor, leaning on the wall hugging his knees. His head fell down on his knees and he didn't notice when a certain professor entered the room.

"Get up, Potter." Severus snapped.

"Why?" Harry muttered and tilted his head back so he could look his professor in his eyes.

"Don't even try to drag me into your self-pity." The older man warned.

"What do you know? Leave me alone, will you?" He said impatiently.

"No. I believe we need to talk." The teacher said coldly.

Severus put a silencing charm over the room and locked the door. He walked towards Harry and offered his hand.

"Sit down." He gestured at the sofa and sat down next to Harry. "What's up with you, boy?"

"Nothing, it's…" Harry began but stopped when he saw the glance Severus shot him. "Oh for fuck's sake. I can't stand this."

"Tell me." Severus ordered.

Harry pulled up his knees and hugged them tightly. "It's just…It doesn't work anymore. I'm sick of it."

"I noticed you didn't eat anything at all." Severus put an arm around Harry's waist and touched him gently.

"You see. I'm still not normal. I will never be normal and I'm sick of not being normal."

"What, pray tell, is normal to you?" The older man snorted.

"I would like to be able to eat without any problems. I hate being this thin. I disgust myself. And I…well I want someone to care." Harry said sadly.

"And the reason you are not able to eat is?"

"Food is disgusting. I know I'm going to throw up later anyway." He looked away.

"You never told me you did. That is why you're still thin." The man stated.

"I know." Harry admitted.

"Something more occurred this past summer, am I right?" Severus asked carefully.

"I w…you're right." The boy tried to pull away but Severus held him in a firm grip.

"Tell me." Severus commanded.

"Can I ask you something personal then?"

"This is not about me, Harry, it's about you." He warned. "Tell me."

"I… this is hard. I, well I told you that he…that he raped me. What I didn't tell you is that… uh I…" Harry blushed fiercely. "His friends were there too. They all…had a go. I was throwing up and it was…I just..." His entire body was shaking. "I just wanted to die."

Severus looked at the boy blankly.

"Do you still want to die?" He asked the boy in a low voice.

"And yesterday morning, when we got here through London, I saw one of the men. I…I was so scared. So scared…" He whispered. "I don't know what to do."

Severus quickly decided that words were too weak for what he wanted to say. Instead he pulled Harry close to himself. He felt the boy tense a bit, but he then relaxed as he felt Severus' gentle touch.

Normally, the man would have avoided any physical contact but it was different with Harry. Slowly he let go of the boy, but allowed him to lean on his shoulder.

"I am sorry, Harry. I really am. I just wished you had told someone." He squeezed Harry's shoulder reassuringly. "I will order some food for you, would you like something special?"

"Anything will do." Harry replied expressionlessly.

Severus called for a house elf and ordered dinner for Harry. When the food arrived, Harry only stared at it. He tried to put a small piece of meat into his mouth but his hand stopped halfway.

"You don't want me to force-feed you, do you?" Severus teased. To his pleasure, Harry mumbled a no and began eating.

One and a half hour later later, Harry had eaten most of the food on the plate. Severus was satisfied and cleaned the table.

"You should go to sleep now." The older wizard scooped Harry up and carried him to his bed where he tucked him in.

"Will you stay?" Harry whispered weakly.

"If you want me to. Go to sleep now." Severus said and sat down in the couch.

Little did they know what was going to happen in a few hours.