Title: Meditating
Series: Our Mrs. Cobb
Author: Sevangel
Disclaimer: Not mine; all belongs to Joss Whedon
Rating: PG-13
-
"Jayne, you slept in quite a bit." Book comments when the merc stumbles into the mess. "Breakfast was over hours ago."
Jayne grunts at Book as he walks over to fill a cup with coffee. "How far are we from the whore moon?"
"Not far; bout twenty minutes or so." Mal answers. "Jayne, they're lettin' us stay for free but anything else, you gotta buy on your own."
"What're ya talkin' bout?" Jayne asks, forehead wrinkled in confusion.
"Trim, Jayne." Mal replies, looking at Jayne weirdly. "You want some trim, you gotta pay for it."
Jayne just nods and helps himself to some of the leftover breakfast.
"Has anybody seen River?" Simon steps into the mess with a slightly worried expression. "I haven't seen her all morning."
"Passed her on my way here." Jayne lies. "Said she was goin' to find Willow." In all actuality, she told him where she was goin' after leavin' his bunk a few minutes ago.
"Then does anybody know where Willow is?" Simon asks.
"She borrowed some incense." Inara walks in behind Simon and gently touches his arm. "If she's not in her room, she's probably in the bay."
"What'd she need incense for?" Mal questions Inara.
"Meditating." Inara answers. "She didn't look well and she said she needed to meditate to center herself."
"What the hell does that mean?" Mal asks.
Inara shrugs.
With a determined look, Mal stalks out of the mess and towards the bay. The gathered crew glances at each other and then follows the captain. The walk to the bay is quiet, if the slurping sound Jayne makes as he eats is discounted. Mal steps into the bay and first sees Kaylee and River standing next to some crates, talking quietly. And then in the middle of his bay floor, Willow is sitting crossed-legged, her hands in her lap palms facing up. There are two sticks of incense burning right in front of her, the smoke from each stick flowing up to combine into one line of smoke. She's surrounded by five candles that look to be randomly placed but he wonders if there's not a pattern. Her eyes are closed and there's almost a serene look on her face.
"She's been like this for hours." Kaylee says. "Won't move no matter what I do."
"She's meditating." River explains.
"Yeah, we've been told that but I ain't gettin' what she needs all the accessories for." Mal replies. Mal walks over until he's right in front of Willow. "See, I just don't get it. Normal folk would at least flinch or somethin'." He takes a few steps forwards, intent on getting Willow's attention.
"NO!" River screeches but she already knows it's too late. The tip of Mal's foot has already crossed over the line made by two of the candles. The reaction is immediate. Willow's back arches and a high pitch scream leaves her mouth.
"What the gorram hell?" Mal shouts. He starts to reach down for her when he's pushed to the side by a 90-pound genius.
"Willow." River shouts. "Focus. You have to focus."
The redhead's back arches once more, her screaming having not stopped, and then she collapses backwards. Her scream ends once her back hits the floor and she's motionless.
River blows out the candles backwards from the way they were lit and snuffs out the incense. She knows this is not the correct way to close a circle but it's the only thing she can do. Willow's walls are gone and when River pokes inside, there's nothing on the surface. So she does the only thing she can to get her friend back; lies down beside her, grabs her hand, and with her eyes closed, she dives in.
-
"What the gorram hell is goin' on?" Mal bellows. "Gorramit, doc, this another one of them catatonic things?"
"No, I don't think so." Simon replies. "First off, whatever happened to River, she made happen. Secondly, being catatonic would not explain why we can't get their hands apart."
"But there ain't nothin' wrong with em?" Jayne asks quietly.
"No." Simon answers. "There's nothing that I can tell; in fact if I didn't know better I would just think they were in a deep sleep."
"Last time Willow dept slept, she was under for days." Mal points out. "Don't know bout you, but I don't want that happenin' again."
"If I could examine them more thoroughly, I might be able to distinguish what's wrong with them." Simon says.
"Get to examinin'." Mal orders. "Don't understand what's stoppin' you anyways."
"We're in the bay, Mal." Simon says. "I'd rather not perform a examination on the bay floor and it's not like we can take them to the infirmary; they're stuck together."
"Well, then, looks like we're takin' them into the whorehouse." Mal says. "Jayne, you're gonna have to carry River and I'll carry Willow."
Jayne nods and both men bend down to pick up their girls. They have to stand rather close since the girls are holding hands and nothing anybody's done has got them to let go of each other.
"They're still attached?" Wash asks, moving quickly down the steps into the bay. He can't get the sound of Willow's scream out of his head; even being on the bridge at the time it felt like she was right beside him. And to make matters worse, it took Zoe a good 20 minutes to find out what was going on and get back to him, hell by that time he had the boat parked a few yards away from Inara's friend.
"Nara, you wanna open the door?" Mal asks. "And I hope your friend don't mind the drama."
"She won't." Inara replies, finger pressing hard onto the button to lower the bay door. She starts down the ramp before it even finishes lowering and greets Nandi with a hug and a light kiss. "Nandi, it's so good to see you."
"And you too, Inara." Nandi smiles. "It's been a long…..Simon Tam, is that you?"
"Hello, Nandi." Simon says politely, his face turning bright red.
"You know her?" Mal asks.
"Wait a second, she ain't the companion that taught you to have sex, is she?" Jayne asks.
Simon groans and blushes an even darker shade of red. "Yes."
"She's what?" Kaylee whispers. "Never mind, ain't none of my business."
"Kaylee." Simon says, trying to stop her.
Kaylee's shoulders tense but she doesn't respond. Instead she walks down the ramp to take Inara's hand.
"Nara, they're startin' to get a bit heavy." Mal says. "You mind?"
"Oh, Nandi, we need a room with a large bed." Inara says. "We're having a bit of a medical emergency."
"Follow me." Nandi takes Inara's other hand and leads the Serenity group to her home.
-
When she dove in, she didn't know what she's doing. She doesn't have this kind of power and she knows it but she couldn't loose her friend. She also knows she can't get them out; that's up to Willow, if she can find Willow that is. If they get out of this she has a feeling Jayne is going to be so mad at her. She sees a dark greenish bit of smoke, the green so dark it's almost black and follows it. It feels like it's taking forever and she doesn't even know where this is going to take her but she just hopes it leads to Willow. She knows that there is a physical link to every person, an energy, and if this is Willow's energy, it should led straight to the redhead. She should have been more careful, been more on guard instead of gossiping to Kaylee about her night with Jayne. She can't help but feel like this is her fault; Willow has been there every time River has needed her to be and the one time Willow needs her, she's not there. She was the one who told Willow she needed to meditate and instead of sharing morning kisses with Jayne, she should have been beside Willow to ensure that this didn't happen. She should have kept everyone from breaking the circle before it was time; who knows what kind of damage has been done.
"Not your fault."
River spins around to see a little redhead with pigtails. She instantly knows this is Willow, a five-year-old Willow that is. The little girl is sitting at a small table putting together a puzzle that should be much to advanced for her age; she's almost done. River takes a seat across from her and reaches out to place a piece in its correct spot. "What's not my fault?"
"She should have waited." The little Willow says. "She should have waited until you were there and focused on guarding her but she's always thought she can do everything on her own."
"I should have been paying attention to her and not Kaylee." River protests.
"And she should have waited till she had your complete focus." Little Willow says. "But instead she risked losing herself by plopping herself down into a public room without warning everyone to leave her be. She thought she could handle it; she always thinks she can handle it."
They're gone in a blink and then they're standing next to a hospital bed. On the bed is a sixteen-year-old Willow, sitting up and chanting in another language, a bandage on her forehead from the wound she received only hours ago.
"She didn't understand any of it." Little Willow explains. "She didn't care that she didn't know the consequences; she just wanted to help."
"Isn't that a good thing?" River asks.
Little Willow shrugs. "The path to hell is paved with good intentions."
They're gone with another blink and this time they're in a cemetery late at night. There are four people gathered and Willow is sitting on the ground with a urn in front of her and on her forehead, there's blood from an innocent fawn that she used to anoint herself.
"More good intentions." Little Willow says. "Do you know for a long time this is where she thought her path to 'Darth Rosenburg' began?"
"It's not?" River asks. She remembers seeing this from before and she's always assumed this is where Willow's path to darkness began.
Another snap and another scene. River remembers seeing this one too; it's only a few minutes before Buffy dies for the 2nd time. And right in this moment, Willow is sticking her hand into the side of Glory's head to try and take back what was stolen from Tara.
"This is the deciding factor in her becoming what she is." Little Willow says. "This is where her addiction to magic began. Because for the first time, she cast a spell knowing that that consequences could be deadly but not caring about it."
Before River can say anything, they're gone again. This time they're standing close to the edge of a cliff, watching as Willow starts to end the world.
"And this is what she is." Little Willow says. "Everything else is just a lie; this is what she is and always will be."
"I understand." River says. "SNAP OUT OF IT!"
"What?" All the different Willow's stop what they're doing to look at her.
"I understand fear." River says. "And I understand guilt for the things you've done because I feel it for the things I've done. And I even understand wanting to hide from the real world because I did it for months behind a mask of being crazy. I don't understand, however, you thinking this is all you are. It's just a part; nothing more, nothing less."
"But will they understand that?"
River turns around to see another Willow only she knows this one is the Willow she came in search of.
"Will they understand what I am?" Willow asks.
"I don't know." River replies honestly. "But you'll never find out if you remain here."
"When I was meditating, I was free." Willow whispers. "I was nowhere; I was nothing and I was part of everything. That's the way it always is when I deep meditate. And when Mal broke the line, I started to snap back to my body. I let go. I let this happen to myself."
"One could say I let this happen to you by not ensuring that somebody didn't break the line." River argues.
"You can't take the blame on this." Willow says. "I should have waited for you before even starting."
"We can toss the blame back and forth for hours." River comments. "Why don't we just both take the blame and go home."
"I kissed Inara and Mal again last night." Willow blurts out. "And it's so confusing and I don't know what to do and I think I'd rather just stay here where it's safe and there's no problems."
"Where you can watch your life over and over again but never experience anything?" River questions. "You don't want that and we both know it."
"I'm scared, River." Willow whispers.
"Take my hand." River holds out her hand and waits until the redhead takes hers. "I think I might have a way to boost your courage."
"You have alcohol with you?" Willow asks.
River giggles. "Of course not. Just come with me."
Willow allows River to lead her away from her memories. "Are we going back?"
"Not yet." River says. "We have to run and don't touch anything."
Before Willow can question River, the genius is dragging her through a dark maze. She has to run at full speed to keep up with her. It's pitch black and Willow has to wonder how River knows where she's going. It kind of reminds her of the maze from the fourth Harry Potter book, the one where they're trying to reach the Triwizard Cup. She almost expects to see monsters jump out at them. Then suddenly they're in a bright field full of daisies and tulips.
"I never brought anybody else." River says. "I didn't think we'd both make it."
"Make it to where?" Willow asks. "Where are we?"
"My mind." River answers. "The maze was the entrance; what the academy did. This is the inside, the deep parts they could never reach."
"Flowers?" Willow questions disbelieving.
"It just felt right." River says, closing her eyes.
Willow let's out a squeal, a bit startled by their new surroundings. It's the mansion, the one Angel owned in Sunnydale. She half expects Buffy to come walking… "Buffy." The name leaves her lips in a disbelieving whisper.
"Hey Wills." Buffy says, turning to look at River. "I'm not supposed to visit her."
"You didn't." River replies with a grin. "You came to visit me and she just happened to be here. I don't believe that breaks any of their stupid rules."
Buffy laughs. "You're my kind of girl, River."
"Buffy, I can't believe you're here." Willow says excitedly. "Or is it I can't believe I'm here. Either way here you are and here I am, together. I've missed you so much and it's so confusing and different here. They speak Chinese and ride horses like it's a western or something and I can't do magic all the time like I normally used to but there's really no need since there's no demons or vamps. And I saw Spike and did you know he's having sex with both Fred and Dawnie?"
Buffy lets out a happy laugh. "I missed the Willow babble and yes, I did know."
"It doesn't bother you?" Willow asks.
"Nope." Buffy replies. "Spike loves them both and they're happy; that's all that matters to me."
"It just seemed a little weird." Willow comments.
"I don't think you can judge on the weirdness." Buffy grins. "I do believe you're in the same situation."
Willow blushes. "Oh, no, cause the Willow kissage factory is closed forever now."
Buffy laughs. "The factory will be open soon and thriving with business."
Willow squeaks.
"This is where you're supposed to be, Willow." Buffy says. "If it weren't, they wouldn't have let me bring you here. You have a purpose, a chance to finally be happy in a way you never had back in Sunnyhell; don't be too afraid to take it."
"You've gotten really good with the pep talks." Willow comments.
"I know." Buffy agrees. "I have to go."
"What, no." Willow cries. "You just got here."
"And my guardian is contacting me." Buffy says, rolling her eyes. "I have to go; they know I'm here with you and I have to go." She steps up to hug Willow tightly, kissing the redhead on the forehead. "Love you, Wills."
"Love you too, Buffy." Willow whispers.
Buffy squeezes Willow once more before walking over to hug River. "Take care of my Wills."
"I will." River assures her.
Buffy kisses River's forehead tenderly and steps back. "Oh, by the way, boys are stupid."
"Huh?" Willow and River say.
"Boys are stupid and they will say and do stupid things." Buffy continues. "Keep that in mind and don't hold it against them for too long. Of course you've got to make them suffer for a little bit but not for too long. Just keep that in mind." Then she's gone in a beautiful flash of white, leaving the genius and the witch alone.
"Thank you, River." Willow says gratefully. "I can't ever repay you for that."
"Take us home." River replies. "That will be enough of a payment."
Willow nods and with another flash, they're back in their bodies.
-
"This isn't the time for this, sir." Zoe says, moving to stand in front of the irate captain. "I understand you're upset…"
"Upset?" Mal shouts. "That don't even begin to cover what I am over what he's done."
"What I do with my wife is none of your gorram business." Jayne shouts back, trying to push Book and Wash's hands off him.
"The hell it's not." Mal shouts. "She's on my boat and I do recall sayin' that just cause she's married to you don't make her your wife."
"Do you mind waiting until I finish examining my sister before you finish your bit of male posturing?" Simon asks, averting his eyes from the hickeys covering his sister's chest and stomach. Mal's reaction to seeing the hickeys was instantaneous; he took one look and tackled the merc with a shout. It took the entire watching crew plus a few of Nandi's male whores to separate the two men.
"You mind coverin' up my wife's chest fore everybody sees?" Jayne replies, moving closer to block everyone's gaze.
"Get away from her." Mal orders. "You ain't takin' advantage of that girl no more."
"Never took advantage of her in the first place." Jayne says.
"Hell you didn't." Mal bellows. "She's an innocent…"
His sentence trails off when the girl in questions sits up with a gasp. "Jayne."
"Right here, baby." Jayne pushes Simon aside to move right next to her. "You alright?"
River nods. "Willow…."
"She ain't woke up yet." Jayne interrupts.
"Sure she has." Willow whispers, sitting up with a groan. "She was just getting her bearings."
Simon walks over to the other side of the bed to examine Willow, already knowing Jayne's not going to move.
"What happened to your face?" River asks, touching Jayne's split lip tenderly.
"Cap'n punched him." Kaylee jumps onto the bed to sit between the two girls. "After he saw your Jayne marks, cap'n tackled him."
"Why?" River asks, turning to look at Mal.
"Why?" Mal shouts. "He didn't have the right."
"We're married." River points out.
"That don't make a bit of difference." Mal says. "You're half crazy most of the time and a child to boot. He didn't have the right to touch you."
"She ain't crazy." Jayne argues.
"But she is 15 years younger than you." Mal points out angrily.
"You think I don't know that?" Jayne pushes an angry hand through his hair. "You think I went looking for this? I didn't. It just happened; I didn't ruttin' ask it to."
"What?" River whispers.
"Wait a second." Willow says, turning her head to glare at Mal. "What's their age got to do with anything?"
"He's too old for her." Mal replies.
"Well, well." Willow seethes. "If that's not the cradle robbing pot calling the kettle too old. Or did you forget how you had your tongue halfway down my throat and your hands up my shirt?"
The entire rooms gasps.
"Oh, goddess, Inara, I didn't want you to find out this way." Willow says, turning to look at the companion. "It just happened and the first time was after we kissed…."
"You what?" Mal shouts. "You two kissed? When?"
"A few hours before we kissed." Inara replies and then smacks a hand over her mouth.
"Maybe we should leave." Book whispers to Wash.
"Hell, no, this just got very interesting." Wash whispers back.
"Sir?" Zoe questions.
"I just happened the one time." Mal replies.
"Twice." Willow corrects.
"Just the two times." Mal says. "And just one gorram second, you said last night didn't count, just somethin' bout comfort or that kinda go'se."
"Damn straight it didn't count, buddy." Willow jumps off the bed and walks over to glare up at him. "And as of now, the Willow kissage factory is off limits to you. In case you've forgotten, you're 14 years older than me, which is only a year less than the difference between River and Jayne."
Mal grabs the finger poking his chest with an angry growl. "Woman, we done talked bout you pokin' me."
"Fine." Willow agrees and stomps hard on his foot. "Asswipe."
River stands up and pushes around Jayne with a hurt look. "Don't worry, I won't force myself on you anymore."
"Baby, I didn't…" His sentence ends in a yelp when she stomps on his foot.
"Don't even say anything, Simon Tam." Kaylee says, cutting off the doctor before he can speak. "I know exactly what you're gonna say, that the whole gorram thing is improper and should be stopped, well, people can't help what they feel." She climbs off the bed and follows River and Willow as they walk out the door.
The entire room stands in silence for a few minutes before Simon speaks. "I just wanted them to sit down so I could finish examining them."
-