An Anakin & Obi-wan adventure!
We all know that Anakin became Darth Vader, but what happened to Obi wan on Tatooine? Well ladies and Gentle men, I have the truth! Mind you, this is in documentary and script form!
Our journey begins as while Darth Vader is having a tea party.
"Oh Mrs. Grandest Emperor in the world, would you like some tea?"
Dramatic music plays as the emperor, dressed in a 3 year old's girly dress enters.
"Do you want me to kill you?"
"Is this a trick question?
"Maybe."
"I'm going to go find obi-wan."
"Good Bye!"
As soon as Darth Vader was gone, Palpatine began to plan.
"Gee, should I kill him with poison, a lightsaber, or classical music?"
"I said he began to think, not talk."
Meanwhile, on Tatooine…Obi-wan is just getting up for breakfast. He has grown very fat since we last saw him in Episode III.
(Obi wan looks at the camera in his room)
Uh oh. It looks like obi wan has decided, that we are hostile. He is taking out his lightsaber. But oh, look at that, he sliced of his leg. Do you need any help there fella?
"No, you were the chosen one!"
"What was I chosen to do?" responded the narrator
"I'm working on figuring that out."
And so, after a trip to the hospital, Obi wan was just fine.
Back on the death star…"Oh, My unicorn is way prettier than yours!" said Palpatine
Ok, maybe not on the Death star. What about Darth Vader…
"Ah ha! I'm finally on Tatooine! What was I here to do? (Hears his stomach growl) I want a hot dog!"
Back to obi-wan…
Oh look, Obi-wan is being attacked by a wild animal. How cute. But look, Obi-wan just used force push to push the animal off him. He grabs his lightsaber, and abruptly cuts off his other leg.
So, after another trip to the hospital, Obi-wan is just fine.
Back on the death star…"So then I told her that eating makes her look sexy. She tried to slap me, but her hand got stuck in my melted face, so here she is. Her hand is stuck in my face." Palpatine told the storm trooper.
"Well at least it's a date." Said the storm trooper.
"I don't date guys with helmet hair." She responded
"How do you know this is a helmet?" He asked.
"Are you gay!" she screamed
"That depends… are you a guy?"
Back with Darth Vader…So I sense a huge amount of force energy here
Darth Vader looks at the bar in front of him.
3 hours later…
"I told you I'm not drunk Obi-wan!" he yelled
"I told you, my name is not Obi-wan! It's Barbara Bush! And I'm Married!"
Back with obi wan…
Obi-wan is looking up at the clock. It's 9pm.
Almost Obi-Wan's bedtime. But since it's Friday, it's his night to get drunk!
5 hours later…
"I'll see you next Friday Frank!"
"Who are you?" a women yells at him
But because I need to end this story…Obi-wan and Darth Vader meet at 2am. Both are too drunk to fight. So they walk past each other. But, but total Coincidence, Obi-wan knocks darth Vader's Lightsaber loose, and Slices off his arms!
So, after another trip to the hospital, 4 lost limbs, 4 mechanical limbs, 2 lightsabers, 1 unicorn, and 2 women, we learn Obi-Wan's daily routine, why Darth Vader never caught Obi-wan, and Palpatine's true nature of well…never mind that.
THE END!