Hey y'all, Butterflykisses here. I want to thank all of you who reviewed Jmac's chapter. I knowthat she really appreciates yourinsight, as do I. I hope that y'all like this chapter and,when you're through reading, will review.

Chapter Ten- Sara: Just What the Doctor Ordered

I was grateful for everything Nikki did for me: the late night Hunter bashing, the constant assurances that I "was always too good for that bastard." But the truth was that, no matter how badly he'd hurt me, I still loved him.

It's sick, I know, but it was true. I loved Hunter despite the pain he'd caused me. And that made getting over him that much harder.

September 22, 2004

I hurt. I don't know how to explain it any better. It's a dull aching in the pit of my stomach and in the middle of my heart. Or at least where my heart used to be.

I feel like such a liar, because all the time I was with Nik last night, I was thinking how much I missed and loved Hunter. He's a bastard, yes, but god do I love him. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do now. For so long who I am has been tied with Hunter. We were HunterandSara, one word. Wherever one went the other was sure to follow. And usually that follower was me. I was the little lamb in the nursery rhyme of our romance. But the second that I want to do something new and different. Something entirely for myself. He decides that he no longer wants to be with me.

Well you know what. He can go to hell for all I care. For once it's time that I do something on my own, without following anyone's orders or suggestions. It's time I found out who Sara Kendal really is.

Oh god I miss him.

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I knew that there was something that Nikki wasn't telling me. All night as we had been having our little "girl-power" night, I knew that there was something that she was just bursting to say. But she didn't tell me. She wanted to keep it a secret just a bit longer. I knew, however, that it had something to do with a certain green-eyed wizard. I can read Nik like a book. Especially when she has that gleam in her eyes. You know that gleam. The something-really-good-just-happened-but-I-don't-know-if-I-want-to-tell-anyone-'cause-I might-jinx-it gleam. Yeah, she definitely had that gleam in her eyes.

So I didn't ask her about it. 'Cause I knew that she would tell me when she was good and ready.

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I woke late the next morning. My eyes felt puffy and my head hurt like the dickens. I knew I probably looked a wreck. But I didn't give a damn. My boyfriend just broke up with me and I was allowed to look like hell if I wanted to. And anybody who dared to say otherwise could just go screw themselves.

Did I mention that I was also feeling really bitchy?

Nik's bed was empty. Which was kinda strange since it was a Saturday and the girl really loves her sleep. But I didn't really care if she was in the room or not. I wanted to be left alone. And she probably knew that.

Pushing the covers off, I stumbled out of bed. My teeth felt like fungus had grown on them overnight and my throat felt like sandpaper had been rubbed all over the inside. I scrubbed my teeth until I was sure my gums were bleeding and then stumbled into the shower to try and wash off all the misery of the previous day.

After spending about an hour in the steaming hot water, I finally emerged from the shower. I wiped the steam off the bathroom mirror and stared at my reflection.

I was by no means an ugly or repulsive looking girl. But I never had thought myself all that attractive. I was average. Nothing more, nothing less. Average brown hair, average hazel eyes, average figure. There was nothing special there. And that's why it had been so amazing when Hunter had first started flirting with me. He had seen something inside of me that was worth paying attention to. For the life of me I couldn't figure out what that something was, but Hunter saw it and that was all that mattered.

If Nikki had known what I thought of myself, she probably would have smacked my forehead over and over again until she got it through my "thick skull" that I was worth something, and that I was special no matter what. But she didn't know. It was a part of me that I never told anyone. It was my secret, and my secret alone.

And so I had rejoiced when Hunter bestowed his attention upon me. I felt special when I was with him. I felt as if I finally had received self-worth.

But the second that I read that letter- that dreadful, dreadful letter- that self-worth shattered to pieces.

I dressed slowly, wanting to spend as much time as possible preparing myself for facing the school. I had totally embarrassed myself by running out of the Great Hall like I did yesterday morning. And I wasn't at all ready to show my face in there again. But my stomach was rumbling for food, and I had no choice but to answer its call.

The large doors of the Great Hall stood open and I could see various students sitting at their house tables eating lunch ('cause it was a little after noon by the time I finally got down there) and- a very few- working on homework. I spotted Nikki and Hermione some ways down the Gryffindor table. Lucky me, they were sitting almost all the way at the opposite end. If I wanted to sit with them I would have to walk nearly the entire length of the Great Hall- something that I was just not up to doing at that point. And so, despite my desperate need for food, I turned away from the hall and headed towards the school's front door. Perhaps a bit of fresh air would give me the strength and courage I needed.

So I wandered down to the grounds. A few students were out sitting on the grass talking and laughing with their friends. They watched me as I passed them, and I did my best to ignore their stares.

A wind whistled over the ground, blowing my hair in my face. I brushed a few strands behind my ear, wishing that I had thought to bring a hair-tie with me. I made my way towards the lake front. The water was clear and there were small waves where the wind brushed over the water. Beneath the surface you could see the giant squid swimming around, his tentacles following behind him in the water like streamers. It was a calm and serene picture, and just what I needed at that moment.

I sat down under a tree, leaning my back against the trunk. I closed my eyes and tilted my face back, letting the sun heat my face and soak into my cool skin. The air was pure as I breathed it in, flowing easily into my lungs and replenishing my spirit. There was definitely magic in the air. I could feel it with every breath I took. If I never had believed in magic before, I would have then.

For all of two seconds Hunter completely disappeared from my mind. I was transported to a different place. One that didn't have boyfriends who broke your heart. A place that was always happy and good. Too bad places like that don't truly exist.

My happy moment was brought to a screeching halt all too suddenly. A shadow fell over me, blocking out the sun and causing a chill to run through my bones.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" I didn't need to open my eyes to know who it was that stood over me. "A Mudblood, out on her own? Where's your other filthy friend?"

I opened my eyes slowly, not wanting him to see that he was affecting me with that condescending tone of his. As he came into focus, the first thing I noticed was his ever-present sneer. It always made him look like he had just caught whiff of a skunk, or something equally as revolting- in all honesty, he was probably smelling his own hair grease.

"Malfoy," I greeted him with an obviously fake smile, "where's your sidekicks?" I cast a look around. Crabbe and Goyle were no where in sight.

Malfoy merely stared at me. He obviously hadn't counted on me speaking to him. He probably thought that I would look away, or try and leave, like I always did. But not that day. No, I was feeling much too bitchy to leave. It was time that Malfoy learned he couldn't push me around. It was time that I let my bitch side take over.

"There's a rumor going 'round 'bout you." He said, ignoring my question. I stiffened slightly. But it was enough for him to notice.

"So it's true." The sneer turned up two more watts. "Well isn't that just sad."

His sympathy was truly touching. Not.

"Whatever, Malfoy." I shook my head and focused my eyes to the side, trying to see the lake that was now hidden behind him.

"You don't speak to me like that, Mudblood." Before I knew it, his wand was pointed right in my face.

"Hey! Watch where you point that thing." I cried, pushing away the tip of the wand with my hand. I stood up so that I was eye to eye with him, or rather eye to nose. The dude was kinda tall.

His eyes widened and, for the briefest of seconds, I could see a bit of fear behind his ever egocentric stare.

"You know what, Malfoy," I said, his show of fear added to my bitchiness gave me the courage that I needed, "I am sick and tired of you treating me and my friends like dirt. So you know what, piss off."

He growled angrily and pushed me up against the tree. The bark scratched against my back and my head hit the trunk. But I didn't feel anything. I could only see the look of pure hatred in Malfoy's eyes.

"Nobody, nobody speaks to me that way you bitch." He snarled, his voice dangerously low. I wasn't scared though- okay well maybe a little.

My hand instantly reached for my wand and I slid it out of my pocket easily, without him noticing a thing. I pointed it at him, making sure that it was at my waist and not raising it to where he could see it. And I muttered a curse. I don't know which one. I only know that it was a minor curse, one that wouldn't really cause any harm. My mind had been on autopilot as I said the words, and I didn't wait around to see what would happen. As soon as the curse had been said, and Malfoy fell away from me, my feet took on a mind of their own and spirited me quickly back towards the school. And all while I was running, I couldn't help but think that I had never noticed just how beautiful blue eyes could be.

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